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5-Minute Chemistry Breakthrough Program Part THREE: Comfort: “Putting It All Formula Together!” “The Proven for Turning a Friend into a Lover, Every Single Time”

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Table of Contents INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 4 PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ....................................................................... 5 The five best tactics for social comfort:................................................................................................ 6 Learning How To Use Questions ......................................................................................................... 10 Learn to Ground Yourself.................................................................................................................... 12 Enthusiasm .......................................................................................................................................... 14 Maintaining Conversation Ratio ......................................................................................................... 15 Teasing................................................................................................................................................. 16 Building Attraction .............................................................................................................................. 17 Pre-selection........................................................................................................................................ 18 Frame Control...................................................................................................................................... 18 Being Non-Reactive ............................................................................................................................. 20 Emotional Fluidity ............................................................................................................................... 22 Pre-selection........................................................................................................................................ 23 Role Playing ......................................................................................................................................... 24 Adding Likeness ................................................................................................................................... 25 The Five Best Tactics of Likeness ........................................................................................................ 26 School or Work Connections............................................................................................................... 27 Food and Entertainment ..................................................................................................................... 27 Local Celebrities .................................................................................................................................. 28 Connecting........................................................................................................................................... 29 Pop Culture.......................................................................................................................................... 29 Section Recap ...................................................................................................................................... 30

CONCLUSION ......................................................................................... 31

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INTRODUCTION Welcome to the final e-book in the 5-Minute Chemistry Program—5-Minute Chemistry Part 3—Putting it all Together. Hi, I'm Jon Sinn. This program is going to teach you how to never run out of things to say— ever again, as well as how to create instant chemistry with any woman anywhere. It's so exciting! 5-Minute Chemistry is literally going to change your life! I know a lot of you have emailed me over the years, saying, “I really am struggling with getting out there to talk to women because I just run out of things to say. I started the conversation and then it just trails off and I end up feeling even worse about myself than I did before”. So if that’s you, in the next section, I've got you covered. It's going to be full of information on how to never run out of things to say ever, ever, ever again. That will be a thing of the past very, very soon. In this last e-book, I'm going to teach you the tactics and techniques that will allow you to make chemistry with any woman no matter how little you two have in common. That’s something you are really going to want to pay attention to because I'm going to teach you how to use the formula that I'm going to reveal to you in this section today. I'm super excited that you’ve made it all the way through this program, and it's now time to put it all together. In this e-book, we are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry in five minutes or less. In this e-book, I'm going to break down the five best tactics for social comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and how to transition between the three. So, by the end of this e-book, you will be armed and ready to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere. So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first e-book, where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second ebook, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which is a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five minutes. So by the end of this e-book, you will know the inner game of creating chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientific stuff that’s going on psychologically. You’ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you don’t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say

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or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this e-book, you may want to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it. There is a very simple formula for chemistry, and once you learn it, and you learn the tactics and techniques to create it, you will be able to create it at will anytime you want. Let’s get started!

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER Alright, in this e-book section, I'm going to teach you exactly how to create chemistry in five minutes or less. So we are going to talk tactics, techniques, process, chemistry—that’s all coming together in our next section. You will definitely want to read it, because I'm going to teach you how to take everything we've learned in the last two sections, and put it together. I'm super excited that you’ve made it all the way through this program, and it's now time to put it all together. We are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry in five minutes or less. In this section, I'm going to break down the five best tactics for social comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and how to transition between the three. So, by the end of this section, you will be armed and ready to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere. So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first section, where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second section, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which is a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five minutes. By the end of this section, you will know the inner game of creating chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientific stuff that’s going on psychologically. You’ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you don’t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this section, you may want to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it. Alright, so let's start with social comfort. 5

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We already talked about what social comfort is. It's the idea of making people comfortable with you, and the best way to make people comfortable with you is by being friendly and neutral or non-threatening. That means you don’t need to be aloof, you don’t need to try to be too cool, you don’t need to be rude, you don’t need to be very interested right away, you don’t need to hit on the girls right away. You want to start in social comfort by being friendly and neutral. Once you’ve started a conversation, it's time to transition immediately to social comfort. It's very, very important that you don’t try to go straight to attraction, that you don’t try to go straight to likeness, or qualification, or comfort, or any of the things you read on the Internet. Once you’ve started a conversation, it's time to get in to social comfort and just show her that we are fun, we are neutral, we are not trying to hit on her right away, and that she wants to be in this conversation. The end goal for social comfort is not to get the girl attracted to you, the end goal of social comfort is just to get the girl committed to the conversation or hooked, in the pick up vernacular. That just simply means that she would rather continue having this conversation, rather than have you leave. She is happier that you're staying and talking to her, than she would be if you left or you didn’t talk to her anymore. That’s it. It doesn’t mean she's attracted to you, it doesn’t even mean she's interested, it just means she's interested in the conversation.

THE FIVE BEST TACTICS FOR SOCIAL COMFORT: 

Transitioning— Learning how to transition off your opener, as well as between topics.



Learning how to use questions— Questions and statements are a very misunderstood part of social comfort. A lot of guys think they should never ask a question.

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Learning how to ground yourself— Learning how to talk about yourself. You have to talk about yourself in all aspects of pick up, as well as attraction, but especially so in the first three to five minutes. Talking about yourself in the right way is really helpful.



Learning how to be enthusiastic— Learning how to get into what you're saying is a big part of social comfort. Call it delivery, call it attitude, call it charisma, but enthusiasm is a big part of social comfort.



Using a correct conversational ratio— There is a lot of bad information out there about conversational ratio, I want to set the record straight about how much talking you need to be doing versus how much talking she is going to be doing.

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Alright, so now, we are going to jump into each of these five tactics. We're going to assume that you’ve started a conversation, and now we are going to teach you how to build social comfort quickly and easily. TRANSITIONING The first topic is transitioning—transitioning is easily the most important skill of social comfort. You must transition the conversation forward and keep it focused on the topics you want to talk about. So the first transition is going to come right after you start a conversation. No matter what type of opener you use, whether you made something up on the spot, whether you’ve used an opener every day for the last 10 years, whether it's an opinion opener, a direct opener, — or whatever the opener is— immediately after the opener is finished, you need to transition into another conversation. The goal of transitioning is you want to go from your opener, or from your topic, to a normal conversation or a conversation that ranges over a wide variety of topics in a normal, natural way. You don’t want to have those awkward pauses when you get through an entire subject and it's like, “Oh, what do we talk about now?” So to keep you from having that awkward and not so fun interaction, I want to teach you the three best ways to transition. These can be used either off your opener or they can be used when you're already on a topic of conversation. ASK A SET UP QUESTION The number one best way to transition, in my opinion, is asking what's called a set up question. A set up question is basically what politicians do all the time. If you’ve ever noticed, politicians, when they want to talk about something, it's very rare that they will just outright start to talk about it. Instead, they will ask a question. Such as, “Have you guys heard about the rumors that I want to raise taxes?”, and then they’ll proceed to talk about whatever they want to talk about—raising taxes or not raising taxes. We can do the same thing. For example, if I start a conversation with a girl and I want to talk about my niece, I might say something like, “Do you have nieces or nephews yet?” And the girl might say yes or no, it doesn’t really matter. The whole point of a set up question is that all I'm trying to do is introduce the topic. I'm not really that concerned with what her answer is. If she has nieces, or if she doesn’t have nieces, I'm going to talk about the same things. The only problem with a set up question as transition is that you have to know what you want to talk about. That’s why, in the last section, I talked about making those lists of topics of things you like talking about, topics you think women are interested in.

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It's really important you have those topics because otherwise you don’t have anything to ask as a set up question. So if you don’t have anything to talk about, then asking a set up question isn't going to help you, and you're just going to basically fall into the “asking questions” trap that a lot of guys get into, such as, “Where are you from? What do you do? Where do you go to college? Cool—do you want to hang out some time?” We don’t want to do that. Asking a set up question is a specific tactic; it's done to get to a subject. If I'm talking to a girl about something I want to buy for my niece, let's say I'm in a store shopping, and I want to get off the subject of talking about buying something for my niece, which may or may not be true, I can ask a question like, “Do you ever do karaoke?”. Then I can tell a story about karaoke, or I can talk about karaoke. You don’t have to be super logical with your set up question, but you do need to give an excuse. The same way that we need to give an excuse when we move a girl, we need an excuse for just asking a set up question. If I ask a random question like, “Do you ever do karaoke?” I might say, “You look like a singer, that’s why I asked.” You just want to have “The reason I asked is...” when you're asking a set up question, in case it is out of the blue, or weird, or random; you want to just have, “The reason I asked is” ready, and usually you can just make a compliment there. That’s the best thing to do, because then people will be happy that you're complimenting them.

USE A PHRASAL T RANSITION The second way to transition is by using a phrasal transition. A phrasal transition is simply a phrase that connects two otherwise unconnected subjects. Some examples of phrasal transitions are, “That’s just like when...”, “That reminds me of...”, “Check this out, I have to tell you about the time...”, “Oh, my God, that reminds me...”, etc. When you're using a phrasal transition, the key is to just say it. You don’t need to actually look for two subjects that are actually reminded of each other. No one is ever going to be like, “Wait, we were just talking about psychology and you said that reminded you of traveling through Europe, how are those two in common?” Phrasal transitions are great because they are so simple, because they instantly shift the subject. I could be talking to a girl about psychology and I could say, “Oh, my God, you know, that’s really interesting that you're studying psychology at UCLA, that reminds me of when I was traveling through Europe, I met a psych major who was really interesting because she was actually

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traveling around doing case studies on different people...” —I'm just making stuff up right now—but you see how easy it is. If we are talking about fashion, the girl might be a model, and she's telling me how she moved to L.A., and I'm going to be like, “That reminds me—my exgirlfriend she moved to New York to do runway fashion and when we got there, it was such a culture shock because people are really different in New York than L.A., and now I think I'm almost too New York for L.A.” Again, now I'm on the subject of New York and L.A., and how people are different, which is one of my favorite subjects in the entire world to talk about. Phrasal transitions are really easy. Because of this, people sometimes want to make things more difficult for themselves by not using them. “That reminds me of”, “That’s just like when”, “Check this out, I have to tell you about”, “Oh, my God”—use phrasal transitions, they're very, very effective and super easy. You don’t need to make things harder than they actually have to be.

MAKE AN OBSERVATION The third way to transition is by making an observation. Learning to make observations is one of the most powerful skills for social comfort, attraction, social skills, whatever you want to call it. Being observant is a very powerful, powerful skill to develop, and it's something that everyone reading this should make an effort at to become a more observant person. And the way you become a more observant person is that you start blurting out the thoughts you have in your head. You stop filtering things as much and thinking like, “Oh, I don’t want to say that because it's weird”, or “People might not be into this” —stop that. Now observations as transitions can be real or they can be routines. So, for example, I might be talking to a girl and if she's really tall, I might say, “You're really tall”, and then I have a routine that I got from Mystery about tall mothers. Or, I might see a tall girl, but she's also really tanned, and I may be talking to her, and I might be like, “You're really tanned, did you just get back from the beach or something?” So they can be real or they can be faked. In general, we want to develop the skill of being observant. What does the girl's clothing say about her? Is she dressed in a business suit? Is she dressed glamorously, is she dressed sluttish, is she dressed like a hippie, is she dressed like a punk rocker? Learn to start looking for things beyond “she's hot, I want to talk to her”, which I think is the level of thought that a lot of guys put in. So start looking for clothing, energy, attitude, hair, jewelry and environment.

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In general, when you're making observations, they're going to be about one of three things. They are either going to be about the environment, about the girl, or about the people in the environment. So when worst comes to worst, you can always make comments about other people around, by making observation, to keep a conversation going. So again, transitioning is the most important skill of social comfort. You must be able to transition between multiple subjects. You must be aware when subjects are getting tired. When you're starting to be less enthusiastic about certain subjects, it's time to start transitioning. It's almost always better to transition and get to a new subject earlier, than it is later, in my experience.

LEARNING HOW TO USE QUESTIONS Now let's talk about using questions. But before I talk about using questions, I want to talk about how questions are viewed in the pickup community. They're viewed as the kiss of death, and there is a very good reason behind that. Almost every pick up company out there basically makes fun of average guys, and says that this is how average guys try to pick up girls, “Hey, what's your name? Where are you from? Do you have a boyfriend? What do you do for fun? Where did you go to college? Where do you hang out? Do you want to go to dinner?” And there is something to that, but there is actually a deeper, rooted psychological reason why question-based pickups don’t work, and it has nothing to do with the fact that they're lame, or the fact that everyone is doing it, or the fact that they are all the same. It has to do with something called the law of reciprocity. The law of reciprocity basically states that because humans are not well equipped to survive in the world, meaning that we don’t have claws, or fangs, or anything like that, we had to become social animals. We had to bond together in order to build cities, in order to be safe from saber tooth tigers, etc. What happened was, human beings have psychologically become programmed with something called the law of reciprocity, which basically states that if you do something for someone first — if you give someone some information, if you give someone a gift, if buy someone a drink— they are going to be more likely to give something back to you. And the reason is—it's pretty simple. If someone does something for us, that is a good sign that they have our best interest at heart, which is going to make us more inclined to do stuff for them. If someone just tries to take, and take, and

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take, then we don’t like that. So because of this, we can actually explain why question-based pickups don’t work based on sound psychological theory. So when you approach a girl, it's a cold approach. She doesn’t know anything about you, you don’t know anything about her and you just try to get her to give you information—“What's your name? Oh, I'm Jon.” But you're giving her information secondly; you are reciprocating as opposed to her going first. “Where are you from? What do you do? Where did you go to college?” She is being asked to contribute first in the hopes that she'll get something back, as opposed to the law of reciprocity which states that if we want information or a gift from someone, we have to give something to them first. Question-based pick up violates the law of reciprocity by asking the girl to give us information without us giving her that information first. So, based on that, we can learn that the best way to ask questions is by asking them after we already give the girl the information. For example, if you're going to introduce yourself, it's much better to say, “Hey, I'm Jon, what's your name?”, than it is to say, “What's your name? I'm Jon”, and then wait for her to introduce herself. It's much better if I want to ask a girl the question about what’s the most adventurous thing she's ever done, it's better for me to talk about something adventurous. I've gone first, so that she feels that she's getting the law of reciprocity happening. I’ve told her about an adventurous story, now she's going to feel more inclined to tell me about an adventurous story. That’s the reason that question-based pickups don’t work, they violate the law of reciprocity. If we can cling to the idea or reciprocity and give inf ormation about ourselves before we ask a question, we will have a much better response to our socializing. In general, there is nothing wrong with questions, you just have to make sure that you've given information before you ask your questions. Think of asking a question as a request for something. So if you haven't given any value, any information, to the girl first, she will be less inclined to answer. Even if she does, she's going to start to lose interest because you are violating this very basic psychological rule. If you are going to ask questions, you will want to use them in a specific way, and in social comfort there are three general purposes we want to use a question for. We talked about the first one, to set up a story or topic of conversation as a transition. “Hey, have you guys ever been to the Hollywood sign”, “Oh, check this out.” “What's your favorite movie?” “Oh, my favorite movie I saw yesterday was...” Another reason to ask a question is to tease.

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Sometimes when I blank out and I'm trying to meld social comfort, I will just ask a social question like, “Where are you from? Where do you go to college?” And then I will tease the girl on her answer? So if I'm out in Hollywood and I say, “Where are you from?” And the girl says, “I'm from Orange County”, and I think: “mental note, do not date this girl, Orange County girls are trouble.” Or if I'm out during the daytime and I meet a girl and she says she's from the Valley, I might think: “Oh, Valley people are bad news.” Or if she says she's a tourist, she's from England, I might think: “English girls are bad news.” But I'm asking a question specifically to tease here, specifically to break that social comfort and to start the attraction-building process. I'm not just going to ask a question to get information. I'm never going to be like, “Where are you from—oh, cool.” Another way is to relate and build commonalities; that’s kind of the opposite side of the coin. If I feel like this girl doesn’t need to be teased, but I do need to relate to her and build commonalities, I might say, “Where are you from?” and she may say, “Oh, Colorado.” And I would say, “Oh, you know I go out to Colorado once a year for snowboarding, I stay in Breckenridge. I love the people out there, they're really nice.” Building commonality, showing her we have things in common, likeness. That’s a likeness tactic; likeness kind of blends through all the stuff. Teasing is an attraction tactic, that’s why I don’t teach a linear method, because all these things blend together and that’s why you can do it all in 5 minutes, because you don’t have to go from step to step to step. Everything kind of blends and it's cyclical. Sometimes you are building social comfort, then it can hook and you're building attraction, then you are adding some likeness, then you go back to social comfort and then it all kind of goes around in a swirl, until you get some interest from the girl. So again, don’t be afraid of questions. Questions are a viable form of socializing. Just make sure you keep in mind the law of reciprocity, that you don’t just ask a question to ask a question. You do them for a specific purpose, usually to set up a story or topic of conversation to transition; to tease or to relate and build commonalities.

LEARN TO GROUND YOURSELF Alright, now we are going to talk about grounding yourself. The easiest way to talk about yourself is through what is called grounding. One of the things that everyone comes to realize - as they're practicing and approaching women - is that you need to talk about yourself. There are basically only three things you can talk about. You can talk about yourself, you can talk about the girl, and you can talk about the environment. Everything else is going to be somewhat related to you, to her or to where you

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are. So grounding is the way of talking about yourself that takes stories from your real life, and gives the girls information about you that they need to know. This is where we are going to show how our experiences and our life shaped our behavior, and how that’s going to affect our interaction with the girls. So for example, I might say, “Since I grew up with sisters, I've always been on the other side of the fence when it comes to understanding women, so that’s one of the reasons why I have so many female friends, and I'm not afraid of meeting girls.” On a cold approach, I'll always say this because it gives a context to my approach. If I'm approaching a girl in a grocery store and I'm being very confident or very comfortable around her, I want to explain that there is a reason for that, that I'm not just doing this to get laid; that there is a reason that I'm comfortable around women. Another thing I might say is, “You know, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, and because of that, I have really strong opinions, and I always express them, so I'll probably say something that will offend you in the next, like, 20 minutes, but it will be funny.” Again, I want to explain my personality. We want to explain our personalities without making it seem like we are qualifying ourselves. Without making it seem like we are trying to impress the girl. Without making it seem like we are giving them all this information that they haven't asked for, and that’s why grounding is really important. Because it touches on key points from your past, it fills in the information. You have to remember that on a cold approach, girls don’t know anything about you. If you really wanted to, you could lie and create a whole fake persona, and tell women all this stuff about you that isn't true, and convince them to sleep with you. I did it for a couple years when I was working for Mystery Method, but you don’t have to. But what you do have to do is, you do have to create a context for who you are. You do have to explain to them why you are the way you are. So if you are a shy guy, that’s not something that you have to go against. You don’t have to become some party frat boy, but you do need to ground why you're shy. You might say, “You know, when I was growing up I was always really focused on studying and getting into a good school, and then getting into a real career, so it always takes me a little bit longer to open up and be really social with people, but once I do, my friends will tell you I'm crazy.”, or “my friends will tell you that I'm....” this, that or the other, but again, you want to explain your personality. You will want to ground yourself so that she understands who you are.

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Grounding comes from the idea of Mystery that you ground your identity. That you tell her how you became who you are and what you do, and usually that’s involved in some form of intricate lying about being a deejay or a model, a company owner, a magician, or whatever. But this is real. This is where we are taking it and applying it to our personality. If you're outgoing, if you're positive, if you're nice, if you're shy, if you're bold— whatever your personality is like, (and hopefully you have an idea of what you're like as a person, if not ask your friends), you will want to ground it and talk about yourself, and talk about who you are and what they can expect. One of the things about grounding is that it preps people for how to deal with you. Another thing I'll say sometimes, and this is not in the first five minutes, but I'll say something like, “I'm totally the type of guy who will hit on you in a grocery store.” So don’t flirt, because again, I'm grounding myself. “I'm the type of guy who...” — that's what grounding is about. It's about explaining the type of person you are in a way that’s interesting and that fills in the background. “I grew up with sisters.” “I wanted to be a writer when I grew up.” “When I was younger I went to this kind of school.” Ground yourself so that they know what they're dealing with, that’s the part of grounding that’s really, really important. And grounding yourself is valuable in attraction as well as comfort, because this is really the best way to talk about yourself, is to give historical context from your life that explains who you are.

ENTHUSIASM Enthusiasm is contagious, as Mystery used to say. You have to be excited or interested in what you're saying. If you're not excited or interested in what you're saying, there is no reason for the girl to be. If what you have to say doesn’t sound interesting and exciting and like you are really into it, then it's going to fall flat. You have to be enthusiastic, you have to be animated. You have to be positive. You have to be really, really psyched about what you're saying. Making sure that you really get into what you're saying is a part of delivery. If you mess up all the rest of your delivery— you're not loud enough, you mumble your words, you speak too quickly— if you're enthusiastic, that will cover up a lot of it. People will generally judge you based on the non-verbal. If you're talking about something and you seem super excited about it, you're passionate about it, you're getting really into it, people are going to respond to that, whether or not they agree with you, and whether or not they think you're cool.

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They are going to think, “If this guy is really into this, it must be somewhat cool.” Being blaze, or bland, or a deadpan, or quiet and serious, just does not work. You have to be enthusiastic; you have to get into what you're doing.

MAINTAINING CONVERSATION RATIO And the last social comfort skill is maintaining a proper conversation ratio. The real key here is to understand that you approached her. She didn’t walk up to you. If a girl walks up to you and starts talking, the burden of keeping the conversation is on her. But you approached this girl, so the burden of keeping the conversation going and keeping it fun and interesting is on you, not on her. Another reason we don’t want to ask too many questions is that we don’t want to try to make the girl work too hard to have a conversation. In the beginning, I'm expected to do around 75 percent of the talking in the interaction. Now I hate giving numbers and percentages because there is no 100 percent thing, but in general, in the beginning, you need to convince her that you are cool. You need to convince her that you are interesting. You need to convince her that you are someone who she should talk to, and someone who she should be interested in talking to. So in the beginning, expect to do about 75 percent of the talking—no less than 50 percent. I would say you never really, in the first five minutes, will she be doing 51 percent of talking. Later on in the interaction, if you can get the girl to talk more, that’s really helpful because that will actually move things forward much quicker, but in the beginning, don’t rely on asking her questions to get information. You can ask her questions to set things up, to tease, to transition, but don’t rely on asking her questions to keep the conversation going. Don’t rely on her giving you information or asking you things, or volunteering information on her own—that’s your responsibility. When you make the decision to approach a girl, you're making the decision to keep the conversation going and to keep it fun and interesting. Awkward silences are a killer. You have to fill all awkward silences. In the first 3 to 5 minutes, she doesn’t care enough about you to keep going through awkwardness. Awkwardness is going to end the interaction. In fact, I would say one of the biggest problems most guys have is that they let awkward silences happen in the first minute or so. They run their opener and then it's like, “Oh, check this out”. That’s enough right there, that little couple seconds of silence, can ruin an iteration.

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So hopefully all of you read the section on never running out of things to stay, that stuff is killer for filling those awkward silences. Make sure that doesn’t happen, because they are game killers. The two things we know definitively do not work when it comes to meeting women are: not talking—starting conversation and then shutting up, and leaving the interaction. So anything other than not talking or leaving the interaction is probably okay. Alright, so you’ve started a conversation, you’ve used questions correctly, you've transitioned, you’ve grounded yourself, you're enthusiastic and you have a proper conversational ratio. The girl has now hooked onto the conversation; she would rather talk to you than have you leave.

TEASING Once you've established social comfort, it's time to break that comfort, usually by teasing. Remember that as soon as you can tell the conversation is hooked, it's time to tease. And the reason behind this is two-fold. One, we want to get her attention— when you’ve built social comfort with a girl, when she's interested in talking to you, she thinks you are at least non-threatening, friendly, etc.— although she may not necessarily be attracted. She may just be interested in talking to you. She may just find this conversation interesting. So what we want to do then is, if we want to break that social comfort, we want to now give her something that makes her a little uncomfortable. Mess with her a little bit, tease her, break the rapport, disqualify—or whatever you want to call it, there are a million different names for it, but we want to basically show her, “Hey, we are not totally into you yet,” and what that’s going to do is it's going to get her attention. She's not going to start paying attention when I start to use attraction tactics, and that’s what we want. We want to heighten her attention and her interest right at the exact same time that we are going to start demonstrating our attractive qualities using attraction material. One thing to keep in mind with teasing is that teasing is emotional, not logical. One of the most common questions I get from guys is, “Why would I tease?” Or, “What if the girl doesn’t do anything that I can tease her for?” You don’t need a reason to tease. Teasing is an emotional communication; it's not a logical one. No girl is going to sit there and say, “Wait, but you approached me and now you're telling me we are not going to get along—like: why are you doing that?” Or think why am I such a brat, or this, that or the other. Instead, they're just going to laugh and giggle if it's done right, and think you're an asshole if it's done wrong. So don’t look for logical transitions, you 16

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don’t need the perfect lead in. You don’t need a segue; you just need to tease and see what happens. The other thing about teasing to keep in mind is that it's competent flirting. The girl should never actually think you don’t like her. If the girl thinks you don’t like her, you're doing it wrong. You’ve got to make sure that it's playful. Sarcasm is the art of saying something that, on the surface is nice, but really means something rude. Teasing is the art of saying something that, on the surface, is not that nice or polite, but the context of which is, “I like you.” A girl should never actually think you don’t like her when you're teasing her, but she should think, “Oh, wait, does he not like me? Maybe I'll flirt with him back.” She should just think, “Oh, he's creating a barrier. He’s being playful, but he does like me.” She should just think that you are fun, when you're teasing correctly. Here are a couple of stock teasers you guys can use. “I can already tell you and I are never going to get along.” This is the best tease or neg, disqualified of all time. “I can already tell you and I are never going to get along. You are too much of a nice girl for me.” “You know what, I can just tell—you're too much of a nice girl for me. You're too nice, I'm going to corrupt you and then that will be bad news for you.” Or, if you can't remember either of those— “You're such a brat—you're such a dork, you are such a pain in the ass.” — just a simple non sequitur tease. Remember, it doesn’t need to make sense at all. Don’t feel bound by the idea that it has to be logical, or that it has to be building something that she can put into some sort of equation that makes sense. It doesn’t have to make sense— teasing is emotional.

BUILDING ATTRACTION Alright, so once we've teased, now we want to start building attraction. Remember, attraction is just a feeling of wanting more of a person or thing. It's not some ephemeral thing. It's not some unexplainable evolutionary designed mechanism. It's just a feeling of wanting more of a person or thing. So the five best tactics for building attraction are being non-reactive (we will talk about that a lot), but basically, in attraction we want to get emotional reactions, build emotional fluidity, which is another one of our tactics, and not give emotional reactions. We don’t want to react emotionally, because whoever reacts emotionally has less social power. Role playing is an amazing tactic for building attraction — one of the things that Hollywood always gets right. If you look at any fun, flirty scene between a guy and a girl in Hollywood, they're usually role playing. “Sex and the City” did a great job at that with Mr. Big and Carrie. Emotional fluidity is actually what we

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are looking for in attraction. Because attraction is just an emotion; that we want to be able to create emotions in that woman, we want to keep her from being apathetic.

PRE-SELECTION The idea of demonstration that other girls want you, triggering group think, social proof, however you want to classify it — pre-selection is a very important part of attraction and frame control. Controlling the frame— the underlying meaning of the interaction. Controlling the conversation … controlling the focus of the conversation … setting underlying frames that lead to you and the girl getting together. There is a lot of stuff going on in frame control.

FRAME CONTROL So let's dive into these right now. Frame control. Like I said, frames are the underlying meaning of an interaction. If I'm talking to a girl and she is trying to get me to buy her a drink, there is an underlying meaning of that interaction. The underlying meaning is, “I'm less cool than her and I have to pay for her time.” If I'm talking to a girl and I say, “What's the coolest thing about you besides your looks?” The underlying meaning of that is that her looks are not enough and that I want to know if there is more to her than just the outside, and I'm qualifying her. She is not cool enough for me just because she's pretty. When two frames meet, the stronger frame absorbs the weaker frame. There can only be one underlying meaning of an interaction, so when two frames meet, whoever has the stronger frame absorbs the weaker frame. It just simply ceases to exist, and this process of determining the actual frame, determining what the underlying meaning of the interaction is actually going to be set as, is known as frame control. Frame control is really, really powerful because generally whoever believes himself more, whoever is more sure of themselves, is going to control the frame. In general, the person who believes more, controls the frame and sets the interaction, meaning the person who is more in control of their behavior. Now there are two types of frame control—there is passive frame control and there is active frame control. Passive frame control happens when we are not outright working. When we are leading or we are setting frames, we are talking about things that demonstrate value, even when we are teasing. Teasing is probably the 18

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best example of passive frame control because if I tease a girl and she laughs; if I say, “Oh, my God, you're such a dork,” and she laughs, then I have passively set the frame that I'm a little bit cooler than she is. Because only people who are a little bit cooler can tease people and get away with it. If I tease the girl and she violently disagrees, she is making a play to control the frame. If I say, “You're such a dork.” And she says, “I'm not a dork, you are the dork.” She's not accepting that frame, and now we have to get into active frame control where we are actually going to have, not a confrontation, but a frame battle, where there are two frames and we are both going to work to set the frame that’s accepted as the overall underlying meaning of the interaction. So passive frame control is great for steering; I think of passive frame control as steering the interaction. I don’t want to use active frame control if I can avoid it, because active frame control can lead to people being offended, it can lead to being kind of rude, and it can be broken much more easily than passive frame control. Passive frame control is amazing because passive frame control happens without the girl even knowing it. She doesn’t have to do anything other than just not to argue. The same thing happens when I'm giving statements of intent. If I tell a girl, “I'm trying to get into your pants”, and she laughs and says, “Well, at least you're honest”, I'm passively setting the frame that I'm going to keep hitting on her, and she can keep saying no, but I'm going to keep trying to get her into bed, which, if she accepts that, then it just becomes a matter of when we sleep together, as opposed to if. So passive frame control is a little more advanced, it's very, very powerful, and like I said, steering. Active frame control is exactly like the name implies— more active, more in your face, more dominant. Active frame control is about controlling the conversational thread. Sometimes you get into a conversation that you don’t want to be in, so you have to move it back. Sometimes you have to cut people off, sometimes you have to say, “Oh, hold on to that thought for a second.” Sometimes you get onto a conversation that doesn’t help you and you have to move off of it. For example, my buddy, Jason, and I were out with these two girls one time and he was talking to her, and he said, “Oh, I like your tattoo.” She said, “Oh, it's a sad tattoo. I got it the day my dad died.” And he was like, “Wow it's really bright in here.” Just completely changed the conversational topic by ignoring what couldn’t help him. Reframing is a big part of active frame control. When you have those frame battles, it's going to be a battle to reframe. It's going to be a battle to re-set the context, so that one person wins and the other person loses. The best example of reframing is that I was talking with this girl in Boston, and it was late at night. I basically just told her that she was my physical type.

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She had red hair, freckles, big boobs, thin, very pretty, and she had nerdy glasses on. And so basically I was just telling her that she was hot, I was hitting on her and I wanted to have sex with her. And she told me we weren’t going to have sex, but she kept flirting with me, and she obviously kind of liked me, and then the lights came on, and I said, “Alright let's get out of here.” And she said, “I'm not going home with you.” And I said, “Come on, we both know you are.” And she got in the cab with me. She then said, “We are not having sex.” And then we got back to the hotel, and we started making out in the elevator, and of course, we had sex. And afterward she said, “Remember when I told you we weren’t having sex—I lied.” I was like, “No shit.” But that was reframing. I was basically like, “Come on, we both know you are, let's go”. Sexual framing is a part of active frame control, shaping, qualification, telling the girl how she is. Cold reads, qualification obviously is one of the most powerful forms for active frame control. When you are setting the frame that she has to work to win you over, and she has to do stuff to impress you because just being pretty is not enough. And that’s kind of a basic primer on frame control. Frame control is kind of an advanced topic. But understand that you have to control the underlying meaning of the interaction. You have to do it actively by controlling conversational threads, reframing, trying to qualify, passively through teasing, value demonstrations and then lead-in.

BEING NON-REACTIVE Frame control is the idea of being non-reactive. When two people interact much like there is a clash of frames, one person is going to become more emotionally reactive than the other, and we generally only have emotional reactions to things that we perceive as having value. The example that I like to give is, if you're walking on the street and a homeless person is trying to get your attention from across the street, maybe he's screaming crazy shit like I'm going to kill you, or this, that or the other. You’re not really worried about it, you generally look at it, you assess if it's a threat, and since it's not, you don’t have an emotional reaction, and you continue to walk down the street. But if the guy is right in your face, all of a sudden we have an emotional reaction and we feel threatened and now we have to react to it.

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The same thing happens with women. If you walk up to a 5-year-old and she tells you to fuck yourself, you'll probably laugh and think it's cute, or you’ll think that she was badly raised, but you don’t emotionally react to it because, again, no real value. You're not going to get laid from a 5-year-old. You're not going to get rich; you're not going to be protected. If it's not related to you, it's not that big of a deal. Now if you walk up to the girl of your dreams and she tells you to fuck off, you're going to have an emotional reaction because you perceive that girl as having value. When two people interact, there's almost like a little switch over their heads, whether or not they're reacting emotionally. Whichever switch goes off first has less social power. The person who is reacting to the other person has less social power. So being non-reactive means we control our emotions and project an image or confidence no matter what we feel inside. So say we walk up to a girl and she tells us to fuck off, we smile and keep talking. You know, you go for the kiss with the girl, and she rejects you. You smile and keep talking, act like it didn’t happen at all—be non-reactive. You ask a girl to isolate with you, go to the bar, leave with you, and she says no. You act exactly the same as before. We don’t want to emotionally react outwardly because we don’t want to send the signal that we are the type of man who emotionally reacts to strangers. One of the things about cold approach is that, again, you don’t have any ties, so they can't be that important to you. If you are getting your emotions all hurt because a girl is being mean to you, or she's not interested, it generally sends a lot of bad signals because it says, “Okay, this guy cares way too much about a stranger, that means he probably doesn’t get girls, that means he probably doesn’t have that many friends, he doesn’t have options, he's desperate. He is weak; he is kind of a pussy.” All these things happen. That’s why it's so important that we are non-reactive; that we are not showing that her behavior has emotionally swayed us. Now the caveat here is that non-reactive is not non-expressive. Non-reactive does mean you sit there like a zombie, or you don’t talk, or you just smile no matter what's going on. Non-reactive means you're on an emotional even keel. The best way of describing non-reactive is that nothing is a big deal, nothing is a problem. So you're talking to the girl, you're having fun, you're being social, you are building some attraction and it's not going well— you don’t act like it's even happening. You are talking to a girl and there are a bunch of guys there— you don’t acknowledge the guys, or act like there is anything wrong going on, you're just emotionally doing what you're doing.

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To be emotionally non-reactive means to be internally validated, as opposed to getting your validation from the outside. It means that no matter what, you're having a good time. Nothing is a big deal; nothing is a problem to you. The reaction of these girls could not matter less. If they love you, that’s cool. If they hate you, that’s cool. Anything in between, that’s cool. You are non-reactive, you are not going to let your emotions be controlled by the reactions of strangers. Being non-reactive is amazingly attractive because it shows the opposite of all of those things that reactive says. If you don’t really care that much, if you're not that emotionally invested, if you don’t take things too seriously, it shows you're probably a cool guy who has a lot of stuff going on outside of being in the club hitting on random girls.

EMOTIONAL FLUIDITY Because attraction is emotional, before we can even begin to build attraction, we first have to establish emotional fluidity with the woman we are attracted to. So that means in social comfort, as soon as we start talking we are trying to get emotional reactions. This is the flip side of the non-reactive coin, we are trying to not give emotional reactions, we are trying to not show that we are being swayed, or that they're having any emotional effect on us, while at the same time, getting the woman to laugh, feel sad, feel frustrated, feel happy, feel excited, feel intrigued, all of these emotions. Emotional fluidity is simply the ability to influence a woman's emotions. The key understanding here is that the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. When a person is just not interested in you, that’s the worst reaction you can get. I have slept with girls who initially hated me. I've never slept with a girl who initially was apathetic for a long time. I've never slept with a girl who just didn’t give me anything to work with, because you have to get them emotionally involved, and emotions are fluid. That’s why I call it emotional fluidity, because the emotional spectrum is 360 degrees. It can happen in two to three minutes. You can be on top of the world one minute and at the bottom the next. Our emotions are very fluid, they are very transient. Emotions do not last forever, which is why attraction by itself is not enough, because attraction by itself, as great as it is, is just an emotion, and there are many emotions that a woman can feel.

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A woman is not going to feel an attraction for you for the lifespan of your relationship. She's got 87,000 different emotions, but being able to affect that woman emotionally, is the core skill of attraction in my opinion, because you have to get them emotionally stimulated. You have to be able to get her emotionally reacting. Remember how the person who emotionally reacts has less social power? We want her to be emotionally reacting so that we have more social power, so we can do more things, so we can make things happen. A good way to build emotional fluidity is by breaking rapport, breaking that social comfort, teasing, humor, role plays (which we are going to talk about very soon), is another way to build emotional fluidity, as is talking about emotional language. Most men do not speak emotionally enough, they talk very logically. They talk in facts and figures and specifics, as opposed to emotions. You want to talk about “What did you feel? Were you excited? Were you scared? Was it happy, was it sad, was it nervous, was it weird?” The more emotions you put into your language, the better you're going to do with women because emotions are how they process the world.

PRE-SELECTION Pre-selection is very important for attraction. Pre-selection is basically the idea of demonstrating or verbalizing that you get women. The reason that this works is through the idea of social proof or group think. If all of these girls think you're cool, then new girls you meet will think that you're cool too, because they will think, “Oh, these three girls think he is cool, he must be cool.” Pre-selection is very, very powerful. It is psychologically proven through a variety of experiments that social proof works, and pre-selection is a form of social proof. It's a specific form of showing girls—or telling girls, that women are attracted to you. It's basically like getting a testimonial. Pre-selection generally can happen in two ways. You can verbalize it. Talk about an ex-girlfriend, they don’t have to be a model or a stripper or anything like that, just a pretty ex-girlfriend. You can talk about how you have a lot of female friends; you can talk about how you have one really close friend that you used to date. You can talk about how you date around a lot; you can talk about how girls like you. You can get into some play stuff, but in general, just mentioning an exgirlfriend is usually enough to verbalize it. You want to verbalize like you're not a loser, you have dated women before, that women do find you attractive.

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Now verbalization is obviously not as powerful as demonstration, and demonstration is pretty easy. You go into a bar and you're having some conversations with girls in front of other women. You talk to one group of girls and then you go, “Okay, I really need to go find my friends”, and then you talk to another group of girls. You have them see that. You can even balance between the two groups— introduce them, whatever. If you have a female friend who comes out with you, if you go out with a group of female friends, if you know bartenders and they hug you when they see you walk into a club— anything that shows girls are interested in you, it builds that pre-selection. I do want to say you will want to be careful with that because, while you can build pre-selection, you can also build what's known as player vibe, and that is decidedly not helpful because that will make it seem that you're just a player and you're just out to get laid. So be careful with the demonstration, but demonstration is better than verbalization for sure.

ROLE PLAYING Role playing is emotional stimulation at its finest. This is a tactic. Role playing is awesome because it allows distance and objectivity to allow for escalation and emotional stimulation. Role playing is where you just make up a fun, fantasy situation that you and the girl can play in. It's pure emotional stimulation, they know it's not true, but it allows them to get emotional. So for example, I might say, “You know what I'm going to do with you guys, I'm going to bring you guys back to L.A. with me, put you on the car of my low rider and have you be like my L.A. booty bitches and then when I'm having my rap music videos and ride around in my low rider, you guys can come be a part of that.” Or, “You know what? You guys are going to be members of my fan club. You guys are totally awesome and I love that you laugh at my jokes, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to bring you guys around with me for the rest of the night, and any time I tell a joke or anything, your job would just be to laugh and talk about how cool I am.” “You know what, you're like a female player, I can already see. You probably have a rotation of like five or six guys and you're just going to use me and abuse me. You're just going to, like, get my phone number so you can go brag to your friends, and tell them you got five phone numbers tonight.” Role plays are awesome, you don’t want to overdo it with role plays, because then you can just become like the role play guy. But you should definitely use at least one role play every time you talk to girls. When you are running out of things to say or do in attraction, use role plays because they

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work, they're powerful. Men don’t get them, but for women, they're an incredibly entertaining and fun experience.

ADDING LIKENESS So now we are going to talk about adding likeness. We've talked about building social comfort, we've talked about the five tactics for social comfort, we've talked about building attraction and the five best tactics for attraction, now we are going to talk about adding that special sauce. Adding that element that no one else really talks about, that no one else, even in the pickup community, teaching knows what it is. There are no other dating coaches that are even aware of this kind of stuff, and that is, adding likeness. So unlike social comfort in attraction, likeness is not a phase in an interaction. Social comfort is a phase. Social comfort is what you have to do in the beginning, and then it's a tactic for later on in the interaction to fill in the space between tactics and techniques. Attraction is a phase. It's a phase where you're trying to get her interested in you. Likeness is not a phase. It's rather something to be built throughout the early part of an interaction. A good example is that your social comfort and your attraction are like your stake. Likeness is like your garlic, salt and pepper. It's just something you're going to sprinkle on as you're cooking. It's not going to make up for the meal, but it's going to make everything work a lot better. So it's important to note, you're going to be building likeness at the same time as attraction and after you’ve built social comfort. You don’t want to build likeness too much in social comfort. Every now and then a commonality or something will come up, and if it's natural, go with it. But you don’t want to be forcing likeness in, because what happens if you force likeness in before the girl is socially comfortable with you, is that you'll seem like a sycophant. You will seem like a guy who is just trying to say that he is into everything that she is into in order to get her interested. That’s not what we want. Instead, we want to build out social comfort, get her interested in talking to us and then as we are building attraction, start sprinkling in the idea that we have a lot in common. Not only is she getting interested in us, but look—we have all these things in common, and all these things that make us alike and make us similar, which ultimately will let the girl feel like she's known you and it will really create that instant chemistry. Social comfort in attraction is great. That’s attraction and that’s the right way to start an interaction. But adding the likeness is what creates that spark. When people talk about how there is a spark, and how things were happening, and

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how you just knew, and everything was just working, that’s likeness. And that’s what we are going to teach you how to build now. So in general, there are five best tactics for likeness. There are a million ways to build likeness, especially when you get more into who you are personally. Like for me, personally, there are specific things that I'm into that build likeness with a certain type of woman that I'm attracted to. Some of them are things that fit into these tactics, and some of them are things that are just unique to me. And things that you will be able to build are unique to you. Don’t just look at these likeness tactics as a full list or as your ultimate guide to building likeness. Look for things that are unique about yourself that could be unique to a woman. A lot of times we think that we are different or special, like our ego wants to differentiate us from people or put separation between us and others. But more than anything, we are more alike than we are different, so the things that you think are kind of weird about you, there are probably some women that are attractive out there, that are really into that, and that is similar to them as well, so don’t be afraid to bring those up.

THE FIVE BEST TACTICS OF LIKENESS So the five best tactics are—number one, work, school. Finding likeness in where you went to school. Going to the same school, if you go to the same school as a girl, if you were in college with her or if you went to the same school— that’s an instant likeness. You now have things that you can talk about. The same thing with work.... if you worked for the same company, if you worked in the same industry, if you ever did something that’s similar to what she did, if you ever even had the same shitty job growing up. The second best tactic is food/entertainment. Food is the killer one, entertainment as well. Everybody eats, everybody goes out. Local celebrities, every city has these people. I don’t care if it's Ed, the King of big screen TV, or Snoop Dogg, every city has celebrities that are known for being from that city. You know, Drew Carey in Cleveland, Snoop Dogg in LA, and a million people that I can't think of in New York— but local celebrities, and those are real celebrities. I'm talking like local celebrities which are even smaller, which we will talk about. Connecting is a real powerful networking tactic and it's a great way to build likeness. And lastly, pop culture. So what I'm going to do now is jump into these and really focus on how you can build this likeness. Now these things are not hard to do, but they are things you should do every single time if you really want to spark that chemistry.

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SCHOOL OR WORK CONNECTIONS The easiest way to build likeness is through school or work connections. Even if you and the girl don’t share the same occupation, or attend the same school, you can still build likeness by knowing what the experience was like. Any city that you're in has some local college, has some school that most people go to. If you go out and you ask people in your pickups what school they went to, you'll find most people went to a specific school. If you know that, you can now figure out how you can build likeness. For example, kids at UCLA party on a street named Gayley, kids at USC party at a place called Frat Row. Knowing those little distinctions allows you to talk about what the experience was like and build likeness and show her that you understand her school or work world. Likeness is all about showing them that you and her are in the same world, that you not only understand her world, but you are a part of it; because when you show the girl that you're a part of the same social circle, the same school, the same work, you like the same places— you warm the cold approach. No longer are you just some random guy, you're a guy who went to the same school as her, who worked in the same job as her.

FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT This one, there is no excuse for not being able to build likeness with. You have to eat and you like to do stuff. So again, we are trying to show the girl that we are in the same world. So every city has things like this. Again, you're just being lazy if you're like, “Oh, I live in Des Moines, Iowa.” Know where in your city that has the best hamburger. Where is the best hamburger in Des Moines, Iowa? Where is the best grilled cheese? Maybe you don’t have the best sushi, but where is the best place to watch a concert? Where is the best karaoke bar, where is the best dive bar? Where is the best rooftop patio? Where is the best cheap food? Where is the cheapest beer? Where is the cheapest Happy Hour? By knowing where these things are and having an idea about this kind of stuff, food and entertainment-wise, you build likeness. If I say to a girl, “Yes, the best hamburger in L.A. is at 18-Degrees at the Roosevelt”, and the girl says, “Oh, my God, I totally agree”, I've built instant likeness. If I say, “The best grilled cheese is at this grilled cheese truck downtown.” and the girl goes, “Oh, my God, I've heard about that”—I've built likeness. Or, “I love grilled cheese”—I've built likeness.

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That’s the key with food and entertainment. You have to be able to demonstrate your taste because everyone has different tastes, and if you can demonstrate that you have similar taste to the girl, even if it's food or sushi, or bars to go to, you're building likeness. You and her like to do the same things, plus it's a built-in excuse to ask her out later by talking about something early on in the interaction. So everyone should be building likeness with food and entertainment.

LOCAL CELEBRITIES Every city has people everyone knows. Like I said, it might be a club promoter, it might be a guy who does cheesy TV commercials, it might be a specific yoga teacher, it might be a chef who has a restaurant that everyone knows. Make it your job to know these people, if even in a peripheral role. Make it your job to know the people who are well known around your town. Even if you have to spend money to meet them, if there is a chef that everyone in your city is raving about—go to the restaurant and then ask to talk to the chef and try to make some sort of connection. Then don’t be afraid to namedrop, that’s the better thing. If you know people that know a lot of people, if you have a good social circle, especially in the club scene, if you know deejays, promoters, bartenders, cocktail waitresses, managers, general managers, owners— don’t be afraid to namedrop, don’t be afraid to mention the people you know because, ironically, the often maligned pick up attempts that make it where they go, “Oh, you went to college, do you know?” Or, “Oh, you're from L.A.? Do you know Casey Jones?” Or, “Oh, you lived in New York? Do you know Danita Kelly?”, or whatever—you're onto something there. If you know people in common, even if they're weak ties, even if you're not best friends with these people, you're building likeness. Even if they know who someone is, if you know them, you're building likeness. You're actually building value too, not only do you know the same person, but you are better friends with them than they are. So don’t be afraid to namedrop, and make sure that you know the notable people in your town. They don’t have to be in the club scene, people often think that this is like a club scene thing. It could be your mayor, it could your local politician, it could be the person who runs the recycle charity. Whatever your group is, whatever your city is, there are people that everybody knows, and the more you know them, and the more you namedrop them, the better you're going to do with building likeness.

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CONNECTING One of the best ways to build likeness is through offering to help introduce the girl to someone who can help her. This is an amazing tactic for building likeness because you are showing that not only do you have some knowledge of something she's trying to do, but you also know people related, so you're in the same worlds. One thing I always try to do when I'm meeting anyone, male or female, is to think about: who do I know that they should know also. I got this from networking books, and it really is the best way to build likeness personally, and professionally. If you're looking to network, that is the number one question for networking: “Who do I know that I can introduce these people to?”, because connecting people shows likeness. If I'm talking to a girl and she's going to fashion school, I might introduce her to my friend Kelly who is a fashion designer, or my friend Joanna who is a fashion designer for Seven Jeans. If I'm talking to a girl who wants to be a model, I might introduce them to my friend Haley who works for L.A. Models, or I might introduce her to my friend who does the booking for Alee on the East Coast. Give email addresses, write emails to connect them— offer to connect. Offering to connect builds likeness. It shows that not only are you paying attention to her world, but you are involved in her world, you both have things in common and you know people who could be helpful to her. This is probably my favorite way to build likeness because it's just something that allows you to really demonstrate a lot of similarities, especially professionally, and especially with the people you hang out with— very quickly.

POP CULTURE And lastly, pop culture. When you're trying to build likeness with pop culture, you want to go for something that’s a little more obscure. Everyone like Incubus and Sublime, not everyone likes R. Kelly. So if I'm trying to build likeness with pop culture, I would want to talk about things that are a little different, and here is where it's really crucial to understand the difference between quirky and weird. Quirky is different, it's kind of out there, but is not weird. Quirky is not weird. Quirky is something that’s attractive in its difference. For example, the fact that I like to read a lot, despite the fact that I'm very hyper socially, and have a lot of tattoos and piercings and stuff, is quirky. If I told girls that I like to read 17th Century Russian torture stories— that would be weird. If it's something that has

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a bad connotation to it,— like R. Kelly, ironically, sometimes has a connotation because girls will bring up to him the peeing on little kids thing. So if it has a bad connotation or if it's something that your friends think is weird, then you will want to stay away from it. If it's something that’s a little out there, a little different, and your friends think it's funny, not necessarily weird, then that’s quirky and that’s what you want to go for. But again, everyone knows pop culture, everyone has an opinion on Lady Gaga, everyone has an opinion on Britney Spears, everyone has an opinion on Jessie James and Sandra Bullock. You can use pop culture to demonstrate likeness. If you have the same opinions on famous people, on music, on TV shows, movies, entertainment figures, major world events— you're building likeness. And again, just the simple use of these conversational subjects can help you build likeness quickly and easily, especially if you talk about things that are a little off the beaten path that are a little quirkier, but not necessarily weird, not necessarily scary, not necessarily having a negative connotation that would make people think that you are not as cool.

SECTION RECAP Alright, that’s going to wrap up this section. So in this section, here is what we went through: 

Specific tactics and techniques for creating 5-Minute Chemistry step-bystep.

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I talked about the timeframe—first, starting conversation. Then you're transitioning into social comfort as soon as a conversation hooks. Whether it's in the first minute, whether it's in minute 5, you are breaking social comfort and building attraction. You're building attraction using things like role plays, frame control, being non-reactive, emotional fluidity, and you're sprinkling in likeness based on pop culture, based on connecting school, work, food, entertainment, etc.

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I've gone through what a conversation would look like when you're building chemistry.

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I've shown you that it starts with social comfort. It starts with transitioning— just getting on a different topic. It starts with grounding yourself …talking about yourself … asking questions the right way, having a proper conversational ratio.

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

Then we crossed over with tease, we break that social comfort, but we don’t want to draw attention to it. Remember that teasing doesn’t start a conversation, you're never going to tease a girl, call a girl a dork and then if she asks why, be like, “Oh, because I think you are this, that or the other.” We just want to gloss over it, we want to throw the tease out there and continue the conversation, straight into the attraction building.



And then as we are building attraction, we are looking for likeness. We are throwing these food and entertainment things out there, we are throwing school and work things out there, we are throwing pop culture things out there, we are trying to connect, we are trying to look how can we build likeness, how can we sprinkle in likeness to spark that chemistry, to show her that—okay, she's comfortable, she's attracted and we are similar, we are alike. There is a likeness between the two of you that makes her want to spend more time with you and get sexually involved.

CONCLUSION Now that we've gone over that and I've given you specific word-for-word examples, it's time for you to put it all together. Now that you’ve seen the steps to creating chemistry, I want you to re-read this section and write out a 5-minute chemistry interaction from beginning to likeness. What I mean is: I want you to write—“I start a conversation with X, Y, Z, I transitioned with this; after I transitioned I grounded myself. After I grounded myself I asked her a question to even up the conversational ratio; after that I made sure I was enthusiastic, I teased her by saying: X, Y, Z and then I built attraction with—whatever tactics and techniques and I sprinkled in likeness.” Then get out there and approach 20 women this week. This program is designed to get you prepared to approach women. If you're not going to go out and talk girls, this program is useless. So make sure that you get out there and approach at least 20 women this week, and you work on putting these things together. You work on understanding the inner game of chemistry. As you're talking to girls, think about how it relates to the ideas in your head. Think about those tactics and never run out of things to say, make sure you're prepared. You should never run out of things to say ever again, and then you should have a framework and an idea, especially if you do this exercise of what to say to build chemistry, to create chemistry in 5 minutes.

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I want to congratulate you and thank you for going through the 5-Minute Chemistry Program. I'm very, very proud of this program, and I hope you get amazing results with it. If you have questions, or you want to leave us feedback, we really do appreciate success stories. I know we've gotten some of them from our test group that we gave this out to before we put it on the market, but it always helps if you have chemistry stories. If you want to tell us about your success, please email me at: [email protected] with the email titled: Success Story with Chemistry. I look forward to hearing about all of your success. Get out there, start using this stuff and congratulate yourself for having the discipline to go through this and to really work on building these skills. Thanks, and I'll talk to you very soon.

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