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How to Make

Anyone Fall Ill w ith You

CONTEMPORARY BOOKS A TRIBUNE COMPANY Page iv

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Lowndes, Leil. How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8092-3211-1 1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title. HQ801.L69 1996 306.7— dc20 96-14502 CIP Page iii

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes

Jacket design by Scott Rattray Interior design by Mary Lockwood Excerpt from Obsession: Copyright © 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol BruceThomas. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books S.A. Copyright © 1996 by Leil Lowndes All rights reserved Published by Contemporary Books An imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois 60601-6790 Manufactured in the United States of America International Standard Book Number: 0-8092-3211-1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Page v

To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers 85 techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love. Page vii

CONTENTS 1 Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone 1 Science "Discovers" Sex 2 How More Research Was Compiled 4 How the Techniques Were Developed 5 How I Tested the Techniques 7

2 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements 9

What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements I. First Impressions 9 II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10 III. Equity 11 IV. Ego 12 V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13 VI. Rx for Sex 14

3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love 17 "Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" 17 "Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17 "Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18 "How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19 Page viii

4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women? 23 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 23

5 Does Love at First Sight Exist? 25 Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight 6 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression 29 First Impressions Last Forever 29

First Impressions Last Forever 29 Be Ready for Love—Always! 30 Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32

7 How to Ignite Love at First Sight 35 How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37 How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39 How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41 Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42

8 Your First Approach 45 The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) 45 Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46 Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49 First Moves That Work for Women 50

9 Your First Body Language 53 Let Your Body Do the Talking 53 When You Are Quarry 56 The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57 "But This Is So Basic!" 60

10 Your First Conversation 61 Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together 61 Conversation Is Like Making Love 62

Conversation Is Like Making Love 62 Conversation Is Like Selling 62 How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65 Page ix

How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love 68 Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70 Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71

11 Your First Date 75 The Game Begins in Earnest 75 "How Soon Should I Make My Move?" 76 "Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77 The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79 Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80 Plant the Seeds of Similarity 82 First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82 Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84 Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85 First-Date Duds 87 "I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87

Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!

Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! 12 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World" 93 Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94

13 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity 97 How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97 Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98 "We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" 101

14 How to Establish Conscious Similarity 105 The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105 Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113

15 How to Establish Complementary Needs 117 "I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117 Page x

Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways 16 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry 123 Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124

17 Step One: Silent Praise 127

Step One: Silent Praise Let Your Body Do the Praising 127

18 Step Two: Empathy 129 "I Can Identify with That!" 129 Lovers Share Intimate Details 131 Lovers Have Private Jokes 133

19 Step Three: Admiration 137 "Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These Mushrooms"

137 20 Step Four: The Implied Compliment 141 "You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141 The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142

21 Step Five: The Big Guns 145 "You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" 145 "What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146

22 Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine 149 "Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149 Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150 Have the First Laugh 151 Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152 When Your Quarry Praises You 153

Page xi

23 Keeping the Love Coals Warm 155 "I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155

Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?) 24 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby 161 Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162 What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163

25 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love? 167 You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess

167 "Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 168 "What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170

26 How Important Are Looks? 173 What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174 What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175 "How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176 How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179

27 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey 181

Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey The Look of Money 181 The Sound of Class 182 What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 184 Use Status Words with Status Prey 185

28 Upping Your Ante in Other Assets Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187 Page xii

29 Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You 189 Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189 Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? 191

Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love After Eden? 30 "I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others" 195 "I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196

31 What Is "Man Talk" and What Is "Woman Talk"? (Does It Exist?) 199 32 "How Do You Feel About That?" 203 33 "Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ." 207