• Author / Uploaded
• Amit Sah

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The following sentences are wordy. Without eliminating any essential information, revise each sentence to make it more concise. Please retain original sentences. 1. It is my objective to utilize more fully and satisfactorily both my university educational experience and my skills as an editor, preferably in a full-time employment position with your firm. As an editor, my objective is to utilize my educational experience and professional skills satisfactorily in full-time employment at your firm. 2. As per our discussion with reference to the antiquated and outmoded climate-control system in the Campus Security Building, it is my recommendation that purchase be made from a source-tobe-identified of a new, environmentally friendly heat pump that is both cost-effective and fully compliant with all local and state regulations. As per our discussion regarding the outdated climate-control system in the campus security building, I recommend purchasing a new environmentally-friendly heat pump. It should be cost effective and compliant with all local and state regulations. 3. On the afternoon of June 12 at the most recent meeting of the ad hoc committee on workplace communication policies, each and every member of the committee was in agreement with one another that first and foremost it is imperative that all forms of workplace communications be completely accurate and perfectly clear. The ad hoc committee held a meeting on workplace communication policies on June 12. It was consensually decided that all forms of workplace communications should be completely accurate and perfectly clear. 4. In consideration of your recent email message received last week what is perceived to be the "excess time" required by our company to provide an effective response action to certain problems identified in the aforementioned email, please be assured that it is our policy to respond as promptly as possible to all legitimate customer concerns.

We received your mail that stated that our company requires ‘excess time’ to respond to certain problems. Please be assured that it is our policy to respond to customer concerns on priority. 5. Extended discussion of an improved and more robust mission statement that is aligned with the basic fundamental business objectives of this organization will require clearly structured facilitated sessions conducted in full transparency and with the active participation of designated representatives from all departments. An improved and robust mission statement is aligned with the fundamental business objectives of this organization. Discussing this further will require transparent, structured, facilitated sessions with active participation from all departments. 6. Somebody has said that words are a lot like inflated money—the more of them that you use, the less each one of them is worth. Somebody said, ‘Words are like inflated money - the more you use, the less they are worth.’ 7. I was unaware of the fact that your widget could be used for security purposes. I was unaware that your widget could be used for security. 8. Mr. Jones, a member of the same firm, put the report together in a hasty manner. Mr. Jones, from the same firm, arranged the report hastily. 9. The reason why we failed to reply is that we were not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed. We failed to reply because we were not told of the delay in the report until yesterday. The fact that he had not succeeded was brought to my attention recently. His failure was brought to my attention recently.

10. The degree of importance in the level of accuracy depends upon the individual situations. Individual situations determine the importance of accuracy levels.