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On Cold Reading 1 Cold Reading to Build Relationships As the type of person who would read a fine e-Book such as this, with an interest in developing their social skills, I know quite a bit about you. I can ascertain, for example that you have a tendency to criticize yourself, but then find solace in the kind words of others. You have an incredible amount of personal potential that is just waiting to be tapped. You are able to compensate for a few personality flaws with the ability to keep up appearances. Your sexual development has presented some issues for you. You take pride in your independence, and you have standards of acceptance regarding the opinions of others. At times you can be extroverted, while at other times you are more introverted. You have a part of you that wants to be liked by those around you. A shell of apparent strength hides a few insecurities. You sometimes wonder if you made the right decisions. You have developed more secrets as you have gotten older. A few of your dreams have already come true, while a couple others are a bit fanciful. Finally, you seek variety in your encounters and feel like a caged tiger when too many rules are forced upon you. If you found yourself nodding and wondering how I was able to peer into your soul, you have just discovered the power of Cold Reading. “Cold” refers to the fact that I know nothing personal about you, dear reader. This relationship we have right now is so cold that I cannot even see you, or hear your voice, and I have no background information on you. That is as cold as you can get. “Reading” refers to the fact that I was able to open your heart, and read you like a book! How did I do? The script above is a classic reading, which has been passed on through generations of fortune tellers, newly revised by yours truly in 2006. Swami lore has it that the original version was culled from the best fortune cookies.

WARNING – KEEP IT POSITIVE Cold reading, if done well, is a hyper-powerful communication device. Some people will believe every word you say with utter conviction, remember your reading for decades, and even be motivated to take action. It is in your own best interest to always keep a positive attitude when reading and never read a curse or demise, with intent to hurt or cause harm. If you decide to use your new powers for the Dark Side, you will be subject to the Universal Laws of Karma. Just don’t go there.

Develop Instant Rapport Cold reading quickly develops rapport and attraction with your audience by sounding like you understand them intimately without ever having met before. The human need to be validated by others is so strong, that when used properly, this technique can create the illusion that you have known each other since childhood, which can turn a “cold” relationship into a “red hot” one.

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On Cold Reading Apply the Fill-In Factor Go up to someone, anyone, look them in the eye, give them a look like you caught them with their hand in the cookie jar and say knowingly, “I know about … you know what!”, then squint your eyes. If they say they don’t know what you are talking about, keep on playing the attitude with statements of certainty like, “Oh, yes! You know exactly what I’m talking about! You know what happened! Well, I found out, and now I know about … you know what!” You might even add, “You know… that thing you thought no one would find out about…” I’m not going to recommend being cruel with this technique to extract all kinds of dirty tidbits. The purpose of the experiment is to watch their face change from an expression of “Hmmm… what are they talking about?” to an expression of “Searching mental database.” To an expression of, “I’ll bet they are referring to THAT thing!” This is what I call the Fill-In Factor. When given a generality, the human mind tends to fill in specifics so that the thought will fit in with the rest of data in your noodle. Notice how all the statements in the classic script are so general, that if said slowly enough, listeners will fill-in details and examples from their own life that conforms to the statement. Did your mind do that when you first read it? Existing cold reading scripts are already general enough to incorporate the fill-in factor. Keep this principle in mind when writing new scripts or in spontaneous reading. To aid your memorization of the classic script above, use the techniques found in the StyleLife.com e-Book “On Memorizing Openers”. If you feel overwhelmed memorizing the entire script, just extract one of your favorite sentences, and use it as a mini-cold-read. Once it is memorized, move on to two, then three, and so on.

Assume an Authoritative Attitude The most effective cold readings are done with a confident, authoritative, insightful tone. This does not mean that you should be egotistical, overbearing or domineering. Be a gentle giant. Demonstrate your telepathic powers with a veneer of humility.

Try an Experimental Attitude If you are so positively nervous that you cannot control your anxiety during your first few readings don’t worry about it. If you can’t fix it, feature it! “Hey! Howzit goin’? I’m so excited, I just read this new top-secret e-Book by Don Diego Garcia about clairvoyance, and I wanted to try out these new powers. You game?”

Control Your State When you are relaxed, calm and collected, you will be able to read subtle clues from your partner that you will miss when you are anxious, nervous, and jittery. If you like, before you begin, take a deep breath to open your mind and perceptual range. It will also look like you are concentrating more. This may also induce a deep breath in your partner, which will make them more relaxed and suggestible too. Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

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On Cold Reading This e-Book and your rehearsals will put these resources “in your head”, but when you are in a live field encounter you can read so much more from your partner by being “outside your head”. If you have other rituals that help you to focus your internal state, by all means consider making them part of the introduction to your reading. They can also build suspense.

Seek Sources of Warmth You and I, dear reader, are going to remain rather cold through the duration of this e-Book relationship. But when you are face-to-face with someone, there is a fountain of clues that will aid you in refining your reading: • • • • • • • • •

Gender Age Ethnicity Clothing Accessories & Jewelry Fingernails Facial expressions and micro-expressions Vocal articulations Hand and body gestures

It’s OK to close your eyes occasionally to concentrate, or help you read invisible energies, but if you keep your eyes closed all the time you will miss valuable real-time cues from your partner. Don’t glare at them; use your peripheral vision and natural eye movements. Whatever you do, do not stare at inappropriate body parts. Pay focused attention on everything they say and do. Store it in your mental database for retrieval later. Interpret their verbal and non-verbal messages, use your own wording, and feed the information back to them later as if it was clear to you all the time. Let all the information you take in from all your senses interact with your intuition. If it looks like a duck and sounds like duck, it’s probably a duck. Just remember, when you call the duck out, do it with a sense of knowing and not a sense of trepidation. If you have a chance to do informal interviews with family and friends of friends before meeting your new partner, by all means use that information too.

Polar Test and Drilldown Some initial cold reads make a statement that contrasts two polar opposite qualities of a personality scale. For example: “At times you can be extroverted, while at other times you are more introverted.” If you would like to conduct a polar test, make sure the descriptions are expanded so that you have more time to let the ideas sink in and more chance to read their response.

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On Cold Reading For additional clarity, use the two-hand comparison: Lift, and indicate to one hand when you recite the first type, then lift and present your other hand when you describe the second type. Their eyes or nose will point to the hand they have more affinity with as they consider each one. “At times you can be extroverted, outgoing, and social, while at other times you are more introverted, solitary, and private.” While you are delivering the script, read your partner’s expression to see which quality they associate with more. If you are delivering a singular initial statement that is not bipolar, you will still need to gauge their associative or dissociative reaction and then drill-down into the correct branch. Associative Responses

Dissociative Responses

Head Nodding Eyebrows Raising Eyes Opening Smiling & Laughing Body Turning Toward You Animated Expression

Head Shaking Eyebrows Lowering Eyes Squinting Frowning Body Turning Away From You Blank or No Expression

Already, within seconds after meeting a complete stranger, you can gauge their reaction to your initial postulate and follow-up with a more specific observation that is customized to their reaction. It’s amazing how quickly two people can warm up to each other. In the example above, if they responded more associatively to extroversion, you could drill down like this: “You have a tendency toward taking action and exchanging warm fuzzies with others in your life, with an occasional fear of being alone.” If they responded more associatively to introversion, you could drill down thus: “You have a tendency to enjoy meditation and quiet, peaceful places in your life, with an occasional fear of social anxiety.” If they responded associatively to both extroversion and introversion, you could say: “Your flexible disposition adapts easily to your environment as you are in-tune with how to act in various situations.” If they respond dissociatively to both extroversion and introversion, you could conclude: “While on the outside you make appearances that conform to your surroundings, on the inside you are maintaining your own personal convictions.” The levels of drilldown continue as you refine and tailor your statements according to their reactions. Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

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On Cold Reading Choose Your Words Carefully Memorizing existing cold reading scripts is a great way to start. Later you may want to write your own scripts, or just learn to read on the fly. The best way to start a cold reading is with language that is so vague and general that it cannot be interpreted definitively. This way your partner cannot catch you out: a part of you at other times at times every now and then every once in a while every so often frequently from time to time generally inclination

infrequently naturally normally not often now and again occasionally on occasion once in a while ordinarily parts of you

periodically regularly some sometimes somewhat tendency there is a tendency to there is an inclination to you have a tendency to you have an inclination to

If you have some idea of your partner’s disposition, you can use words with a bit narrower range of interpretations: almost always almost never commonly few hardly many many times many times you will often oftentimes

ofttimes rarely repeatedly scarcely seldom semioccasionally sporadically unusually usually you will often

Unless you know for certain what you are about to present, avoid absolute words: absent all always completely entirely

every never none totally without any

Exercise Warm and Hot Readings As you can see, you can read warm information from strangers within seconds of meeting them. For additional practice try your new skills on friends and family members, as well as strangers. Haven’t you ever heard of the couple that was together for fifty years such that they could finish each other’s sentences? They could read each other effortlessly. In the same way, every minute you spend with someone gives you clues and patterns to their behavior and moods. This information can make your readings even more precise.

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On Cold Reading Breakthrough with Enneagram and Inverseagram Reading George Gurdjieff and his associates created a system of personality classification called the Enneagram. Enneagram

Inverseagram

The Reformer Perfectionist Rational Idealistic

The Bohemian Relaxed Emotional Practical

The Helper Giving Caring Interpersonal

The Constructor Saving Building Objective

The Achiever Performing Succeeding Pragmatic

The Philosopher Meditating Legislating Considerate

The Individualist Romantic Artistic Sensitive

The Scientist Chaste Factual Certain

The Investigator Observing Thinking Intense

The Host Enjoying Feeling Free

The Loyalist Defending Committed Responsible

The Visionary Independent Venturing Experimental

The Enthusiast Adventurer Busy Fun-Loving

The Guardian Introverted Careful Conservative

The Challenger Leading Protecting Powerful

The Harmonizer Flowing Inviting Natural

The Peacemaker Mediating Preserving Easygoing

The Activist Testing Decomposing Interjecting

The Inverseagram is a Don Diego Garcia original for StyleLife.com .

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On Cold Reading Now, with our Enneagram and Inverseagram, along with our cold reading vocabulary, we can compose cold reading polar testing scripts: Reformer / Bohemian Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Reformer, a rational perfectionist with high ideals, yet parts of you reflect The Bohemian, emotionally relaxed and practical-minded.” If they associate more strongly with The Reformer you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward integrity and balance in your life, with an occasional fear of corruption.” If they associate more strongly with The Traditionalist you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward flexibility and status quo in your life, with an occasional fear of insecurity.” Helper / Constructor Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Helper, a caring giver with strong interpersonal skills, yet parts of you reflect The Constructor, frugal and working tirelessly on your projects.” If they associate more strongly with The Helper you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward loving, generous relationships in your life, with an occasional fear of being unwanted.” If they associate more strongly with The Constructor you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward objectively getting the job done for a sense of accomplishment in your life, with an occasional fear of loneliness.” Achiever / Philosopher Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Achiever, a pragmatic, successful performer, yet parts of you reflect The Philosopher, a centered, considerate sage with a keen sense of judgment.” If they associate more strongly with The Achiever you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward noble and worthwhile endeavors in your life, with an occasional fear of not being valued.” If they associate more strongly with The Philosopher you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward figuring out moral dilemmas in your life, with an occasional fear of not contributing.”

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On Cold Reading Individualist / Scientist Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Individualist, a sensitive romantic who lives your life as Art, yet parts of you reflect The Scientist, a chaste individual who feels certain of what you know.” If they associate more strongly with The Individualist you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward defining and expressing your identity in your life, with an occasional fear of insignificance.” If they associate more strongly with The Scientist you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward being able to figure out the mechanics of the world in your life, with an occasional fear of relationships.” Investigator / Host Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Investigator, an intense observer who likes to tinker with ideas, yet parts of you reflect The Host, a free-spirit who enjoys the pleasures of life and the company of others.” If they associate more strongly with The Investigator you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward demonstrating capability and competence in your life, with an occasional fear of helplessness.” If they associate more strongly with The Host you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward coordinating events and bringing people together in your life, with an occasional fear of rejection.” Loyalist / Visionary Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Loyalist, responsible, and defending those to whom you are committed to, yet parts of you reflect The Visionary, an independent pioneer, who is willing to experiment.” If they associate more strongly with The Loyalist you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward identifying with the personal support system in your life, with an occasional fear of being misguided.” If they associate more strongly with The Visionary you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward the excitement of fresh, new experiences in your life, with an occasional fear of instability.”

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On Cold Reading Enthusiast / Guardian Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Enthusiast, a busy, fun-loving adventurer, yet parts of you reflect The Guardian, a careful and conservative introvert.” If they associate more strongly with The Enthusiast, you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward fulfilling the wants and needs in your life, with an occasional fear of deprivation and pain.” If they associate more strongly with The Guardian you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward protecting your territory, in terms of both land and people in your life, with an occasional fear of loss.” Challenger / Harmonizer Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Challenger, a powerful and pro-active leader, yet parts of you reflect The Harmonizer, an inviting, natural soul that goes with the flow.” If they associate more strongly with The Challenger, you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward protecting and controlling your life’s destiny, with an occasional fear of being used.” If they associate more strongly with The Harmonizer you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward getting carried away with the current of your life, with an occasional fear of confusion.” Peacemaker / Activist Cold Reading Scripts “Sometimes you personify The Peacemaker, an easy going mediator who preserves relationships, yet parts of you reflect The Activist, a tester, who interjects energy into causes and challenges authority.” If they associate more strongly with The Peacemaker, you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward inner stability and peace of mind in your life, with an occasional fear of separation anxiety. If they associate more strongly with The Activist you can continue with: “You have a tendency toward decomposing complex issues and choosing a side in your life, with an occasional fear of being wrong.”

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On Cold Reading There are a lot of scripts to memorize in the Inverseagram. Don’t get overwhelmed. Work on one set at a time, and try them out. Then two sets, then three. Don’t get upset if you forget part of the description, just use what you remember, and go with the flow. Even if it’s only a fragment or even a different shade of the original, if you speak with assurance, they will never know. I frequently forget many of the details of the scripts I write, but that’s OK, because I remember the main ideas and themes, and when I stay unruffled, I can ad-lib the details. Once you have all the sets memorized and you are familiar with the personality types, make a judgment on which contrast would be most striking for your new partner and see if you are right. If you want, you could make a deck of cards depicting each pair, or use a ninesided die, or sum the digits in their birthday, or have them think of a number from one to nine. Inverseagram readings have never been done before, so if you want to bring something innovative to your Psychic Fair and make some coin while meeting new people, have fun and don’t forget to let us know how it went on the forums at www.StyleLife.com . I’ll leave it as an exercise for you to develop your own cold reading scripts for the following personality classification systems that are already polarized for you: Social Styles Personality Types • • • •

Analyticals versus Expressives Amiables versus Drivers Ask Assertives versus Tell Assertives Control Responsives versus Emote Responsives

Myers-Briggs Personality Types: • • • •

Extroverts versus Introverts Sensors versus Intuitors Thinkers versus Feelers Judgers versus Perceivers

Attempt True Energetic Reading I’m not going to tell you if true Psychic Powers or Spiritual Reading exist or not. I’m going to let you find that out for yourself. What I am going to do is relate to you a true story of an experience I had not too long ago:

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On Cold Reading I was in a classy lounge, enjoying pineapple juice with a lovely young creature, discussing investment strategies. She told me that she had a chronic medical condition that was bothering her. I interrupted her and asked her not to tell me what the condition was. I then told her I wanted to conduct an experiment to see if I could sense her condition. She consented. I asked her to close her eyes, breathe deeply and slowly four deep breaths, relax completely, and let her mind go free, attached to nothing. She complied. I then did the same thing. After I was in a state of reception, I merged our energetic bodies. The result was definite. I felt it. I actually felt a throbbing sensation in my lower back, it wasn’t painful, but it felt as if a vibrating egg had been placed in my spine. I took her hand and brought us back to reality. “You have back problems.” I stated. Her eyes got wide and her jaw dropped. “Yes! Upper back problems!” That was a turning point in our relationship. The rest, as they say, is history.

Practice Makes Perfect You don’t have to practice actual readings to improve your skills; you can practice mental readings. Just like you don’t have to practice actual openers, you can practice mental openers. When you are out people watching, make an effort to deduce as much information as you can about people you see and hear. What could their occupation be? Their family status? Age? Attitude? Culture? Personal history? Even when you are at home, you can try this exercise by watching television with the sound off. Can you read the storyline? Take caution when performing more than one reading at a social gathering or for people who know each other. If they compare notes later and discover that you used the same script with each of them your reputation will suffer. Use different scripts for different people or learn to vary your reading per the person you are with.

Find Connections Every thing they utter is valuable information. Listen with your mental recorder, forming a bright, vivid picture of your partner and their environment in your mind. Use the visualization techniques with submodalities to record all the information. Later, when you make a reading based on something they said earlier but they forgot that they had said it, it will appear magical. Ask and Dodge Ask questions and take credit for the connections as a result of your psychometric powers while deflecting the disconnections. Make the questions sound more like statements that you are confirming. Never sound like you are guessing. For example: “Do you drive an American Car?” or “There is an American Car, yes?” If Yes: “Yes, yes, I sense you driving an American made automobile.” If No: “Well, I get the feeling you have a relative with an American Car.”

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On Cold Reading “Did you used to be in the school play?” or “I sense a school play.” If Yes: “Of course, I can see you all dressed up in costume!” If No: “Well, I sense you were in the audience of a school play” Still No: “Or wait, no, someone from your school will bring you some sort of news. Wait… What kind of news is it? Its good news!” Form Statement Questions Make statements that evoke information like questions would. “I’m “I’m “I’m “I’m

sensing a time when you were ill…” feeling something about a monetary loss…” getting the feeling a friendship or relationship isn’t working out for you…” reading a time when you were really happy!..”

As they are talking, have the feeling that the information they are communicating has already been known by you, like you both are relating the same story to a third party. Spin Multiple Threads Use copious amounts of silence to get your partner talking. While they are talking, keep looking at them attentively, continuously nodding your head with a calm smile, and your eyebrows raised showing interest. This extended expression will elicit the most information from them. After they have finished talking, store the information, and start a new topic, later you can retrieve the information you stored in a reading as if it were new. Pose Negative Questions Asking questions in the negative allows you to be correct either way: “You’re not an attorney, are you?” If Yes: “I knew it, I could sense it from your blue aura.” If No: “Of course not, I could sense it from your pink aura.”

Get it Wrong On Purpose If you do find a way to obtain some specific background information on a new partner, you can use that information in your reading. It will actually seem more authentic if you get the reading just a little bit wrong. Let’s say you got Aylah’s phone number from her friend, Marilyn and the number is 555-9234: “…OK, Aylah, I’m getting a signal… Let’s see… (Closes eyes and clutches forehead in concentration) I’m getting a number, yes a seven digit number, I’m seeing three fives, and a 1-2-3-4… What is that, a phone number?”

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On Cold Reading Share While You Read In an unsolicited, unpaid reading, after you have wowed your partner, you can make a choice. You can either continue to do some more reading, or you may choose to share one of your stories. Now that you have some instant rapport, and some information about your new friend, you can select an appropriate story that demonstrates commonality and relation. Beware of overusing any method, including cold reading. You don’t want to be “just that psychic person”. Reading someone’s mind may convince them that you understand them, but if they don’t know anything about you, then there is no substance to the oracle that mystified them.

Read the Past, Present, and Future In addition to demonstrating your perspicacious talents of reading your partner’s personality and sharing problems, you can also prognosticate on the future destiny of your new friend. The future is a boundless realm of possibility, no doubt, so it would help to focus on four aspects of the future that most everyone is interested in: • • • •

Health Happiness Finances Romance

Soothsay for Love or Money If you develop your skills in cold reading, you can actually earn some extra income or even make a living performing in Psychic Fairs, Magic Shows, Dinner Parties, and busking.

Perform Naked Readings You can do different types of divination at a nudist camp, the beach, or anywhere with just the information in this e-Book, a bit of rehearsal, and the right attitude: • Arithmancy (Numerology) • Astrology, Astromancy (What’s your sign?) • Chiromancy, Chirognomy (palmistry, or palm-reading) • Geloscopy (Reading laughter) • Geomancy, Feng Shui (Reading your natural and artificial surroundings) • Hypnomancy (Via hypnosis) • Metagnomy (Using visions) • Metoposcopy (Reading the lines of the forehead) • Moleosophy (By bodily marks - moles, birthmarks and blemishes, careful not to insult)

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On Cold Reading • Oculomancy (Peering into the eyes – shown to induce PEA, or ethylamine the love chemical) • Oneiromancy (Reading dreams) • Onychomancy (Via fingernails) • • • •

Ossomancy (Using bone structure – can you say kino?) Pedomancy, Ichnomancy (By feet – can anyone say foot massage?) Phrenology (Feeling the shape of one's head) Stolisomancy (Reading clothing – OK you can’t do this at a Nudist Camp)

Consider Prop Readings If you are having success with your cold reading career, and wish to take it to the next level, you can acquire some props and integrate them into your performance. While you might be able to “wing it” by reading whatever you would read without the prop, it may behoove you to get some additional training in the way of the specific method: • Ashagalomancy (Casting small bones) • Astragalomancy, Cleromancy (Casting dice) • Biorhythms Divination (Need a computer program) • Carromancy (Melting of wax on body parts) • Cartomancy (Reading playing cards) • Ceromancy, or ceroscopy (Dropping melted wax into cold water) • Crystallomancy, Scrying (Reading crystals or crystal balls – you could carry a small one) • Graphology (Handwriting analysis) • I Ching (You need the Chinese book of changes) • Knissomancy Libanomancy (Burning incense) • Lithomancy (Casting precious stones) • Oinomancy (Reading wine stains) • • • •

Pyromancy, or pyroscopy (fire) Runecasting Taromancy (Tarot Cards) Tasseography, Tasseomancy (Reading tea leaves or coffee grounds)

Read on! By Don Diego Garcia for StyleLife.com

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