The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotestes

421, one of the Roman emperors remarked, 'The corpse of an enemy always smellssweet!"' 10 A little later, Napoleon may h

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421, one of the Roman emperors remarked, 'The corpse of an enemy always smellssweet!"' 10 A little later, Napoleon may have had a changeof heart. \il7henthe French defeatedthe Russiansat Borodino, their losseswere almost as great as those of the Russians.Napoleon considered Borodino the most terrible battle he had ever fought. On the following day he and his aides rode over the battlefield in silence, reckoning up the dead. They came acrossa prostrate body and, hearing a cry of pain, Napoleon ordereda stretcher."lt's only a Russian,sire," said one of his aides.Napoleon retorted, "Af ter avictory there are no enemies, only men." Larcr sdll all trace of compassion- even n for his own - was gone. After the French victory at Eylau over the combined Russianand Prussianforces, Napoleon walked across the battlefield, turning over with his foot the corpses of French soldiers. "Small change, small change,"he said."One Parisiannight will soon adjust theselosses." 12 After the Russian debacle Napoleoh, fearing his position at home was precarious, left the French army in the lurch and hurried back to Francealmost unaccompanied.Arriving at the banks of the river Neman in his miserable sleigh, he inquired of the ferryman whether many desertershad come through that way. "Nor" replied the Russian,"you are the first.tt 13 \7hen Napoleon made his triumphant return from Elba in March 1815, the restored Bourbon king, Louis XVIII, fled, leavinga large sum of money with the banker Jacques Laffitte. An official, thinking to curry favor with the emperor, informed Napoleon of the existence of the deposit. Napoleon, however, had it transferred to England, where Louis could haveaccessto it. After Waterloo, when Napoleon himself was about to flee Paris,he made arrangementswith Laffitte to leave a similarly large amount of money on deposit. When Laffitte sat down at his desk to write out a receipt for the deposit, Napoleon stopped him: "lf I am captured and the receipt is found on me it will compromise you." And he absolutely refused to accept one.

NAPOLEON, EUGE,NE

{lt is pleasingto note that Louis XVIII on his second restoration reciprocated Napoleon's honorable behavior over the money left with Laffitte and did nor take the opportunity to appropriate it.)

14 The deathof Napoleonon S!"Helenawas announcedin a crowdedPariSsalonattended by rilTellington and Talleyrand,amongothers. In the hushthat "followedthe announcement, someoneexglatined"What an event!" "lt is;no{ongeran event!"broke in the voice "lt is only a pieceof news." of Tat[eyrand. Ar, q8 NAPOLEON III (1808-73), emperor of France(1552-70).A nephewof NapoleonI, Napoleonwon the presidentialelectionfollowing the 1848 reuolution that ouerthrew the he dissolued BourbonLouis Philippe.In 1.851, the legislatiueassemblyand a year later proclaimedhimselfemperor.His rule fostereddomesticprosperity,but hisdisastrousdiplomatic abroadledeuentuallyto theFrancoaduentures PrussianWar (1870-71). I The emperor was once implored by alady to forbid all smoking on the grounds that it was a great vice. Laying aside his cigar, he replied, "This vice brings in one hundred million francs in taxes every year. I will certainly forbid it at once - as soon as you can name a virtue that brings in as much revenue." 2 For years Napoleon suffered agoniesfromf stonesin the bladder. The pain undermined his! health and prematurely agedhim. Before giving[ a public audience,he was seenonce to hold his{ arm againstthe flame of a candle in an attemptf to find some relief through a change of pain. I 3 The battle of Solferino in 1859 was technically a French victory, as the Austrian forces retreated.There was appalling carnageon both sides, and Napoleon, alarmed by unrest at home, made peacethree weeks later. "I don't care for warr" he remarked at the time. "There's far too much luck in it for my liking." Aro 4E Eugdne Louis Jean Joseph NAPOLEON, (1855-79), French pretender to the imperial throne, known as the"Prince Imperial." Onthe

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deathof his father,NapoleonIII, he wasproHe claimedNapoleonIV by the Bonapartists. madeno attemptto regainthe throne.He was killed while sentingwith a British forceagainst the Zulus in SoutbAfrica. I On a holid ay at Biarritz, when the Prince Imperial was little more than a toddler, he seemedafratdto enter the sea,so he waspicked up and hurled in bodily. He struggledout and ran awayas fast as he could, howling in terror. atHe was caught and soothed, and then an 'Why, tempt was made to rationalize his fears. he was asked,was he afraid of the seawhen he had stood by while soldiersfired off their cannon and had not been frightened?The child thought this one over for a moment, then said, "BecauseI'm in command of the soldiers,but I'm not in command of the sea." 2 Brought up to believe that no Bonaparte evershowed pain or fear, the young Prince Imperial flinched under the hands of a doctor carrying out some trifling operation. "Did I hurt you?" the man asked. "No, but you startled mer" he replied. 3 The young Prince Imperial askedhis father to explain the differencebetween an accident and a misfortune. Napoleon III replied, "lf your cousin Plon-Plon [once designatedheir to the emperor] were to fall into a well, that would be an accident;if someonepulled him out, that would be a misfortune." {This seemsto be the Gallic equivalentof Disraeli'sjest about Gladstone:seeBrNJAMIN DlsnRru 7. For more about the haplessPlon-Plon, see the following biography and anecdote.) 4., q8 NAPOLEON, Joseph Charles Paul, Prince (L822=9I), Bonapartist heir to the French throne. He wls first designatedheir to Napoleon III in 1851, in cAsethe latter should die without issue.On the death of the Prince Imperial, Napoleon III's son, in L879, he again becAme heir to the Napoleonic succession.His family and close associatescalled him "PlonPlon," a nickname possibly basedon his childish attempts to pronounce his name. I The courtesan Anna Deslion at one time shared her favors between Plon-Plon and the

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plry*right Lambert Thiboust. Though the ' iivals met occasionallyon the stairs of Anna's ' house, neither of them was inclined to make a , fuss. "To be dishonored by t prince is some'thing of an honor," said Thiboust. Plon-Plon ;waslikewisephilosophical:"To be deceivedby ia man of brains is no seriousmisfortune."

As' '4 SpanNARVAEZ, Ram6nMaria(1800-58), ish general and statesmAn, prime minister (1844-47, 1.855-57, 1854-65, 1855-58).

I t A priestaskedthe dying Nawaez,"Does I your Excellencyforgiveall your enemies?" \ "l do not haveto forgivemy enemies,"reI torted Narviez. "l havehad themall shot." A$' at NASH, Ogden(1902-71),USwriterof humorousuerse.He producedouertwentyuolumesof uerse,some fo, children. They include Hard Lines(1921)and The BadParents'Gardenof Verse(1935). I Radio director Tom Carlson'sdog had chewedup an autographedcopy of one of Nash'sworks. Though the book was out of print, Carlsonfinallymanagedto acquirea replacement. He sentit to Nash,explaining what had happenedand askingfor anotherautograph.The book wasreturned- with the dedication: "To Tom Carlson or his dogdepending on whosetasteit bestsuits." As' 'ti NASSER, GamalAbdel (1918-70),Egyptian soldierand statesmAn. A leaderof thecoupthat prime deposed KingFaroukin 1"9 52, hebecame (1956-70)of minister(1954-55)andpresident Egypt.His nationalization of theSuezCanalin 1955prouokedan unsuccessful Anglo-French attack on Egypt. I With emotions high on the night before the coup of 19 52, one of Nasser'sassociateswas close to tears. "Tonight there is no room for sentiment," said Nasser firmly. l'W. must be readyfor the unexpected."Someminuteslater, when the man had regainedhis composure,he asked Nasser, "'Why did you address me in English?" Nasser laughed. "Because Arabic," he replied, "is hardly a suitable language in which to expressthe need for calm."

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In the 1930s Guido Nazzo, an Italian tenor, sangonly once in New York. The sole review read: "Guido Nazzo: nazzoI

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guido." -Willard R. Espy, AnotherAlmanacof Wordsat Play

NAST, Thomas(1840-1902),US cartoonist, born in Germany.He was particularly famous 'V7eekly. for his political cartoonsin Harper's I Nast's greatest campaign was his war againstcorruption in New York politics during the 1870s.He pilloried the Tammany Hall ma'oBoss" Tweed writhed. chine in Harper's until "'We gotta stop them damned picturesr" Tweed told his henchmen. "l don't care so I much what the papers write about me - myl constituents can't read. But they can seel I pictures." {lt was one of "them damned pictures" that stopped Tweed. After being sentenced to jail, he escapedin 1875 and made his way to Spain.While staying in- f cognito at Vigo he was recognized from I one of Nast's caricatures,arrested,and I | returned to the United States.)

A.' 48 NECKER, Suzanne(1739-94),Swisssociety leader;wife of ] acquesNecker,financeminister to Louis XVI, and mother of Mme de Stuel. Born SuzanneCurchod,shewascourtedin her youth by the historianEdward Gibbon. I The Marquis de Chastellux was once invited to one of Mme Necker's dinner parties. Having arrived early, he was left alone in the drawing-room where he found a notebook under Mme Necker's chair. Idly leafing through the pages,he discoveredthat the book contained detailed notes for the dinner-table conversation that evening. He carefully replaced it under the chair and later, during the course of the meal, was amusedto hear Mme Necker recite word for word everything she had written down in her notebook.

4., q4 NELSON, Horatio, Viscount (1758-1805), British admiral.At theoutbreakof theNapole-

onic wArs, Nelson was appointed to a command in the Mediterrnnean. He lost the sight in bis right eyeat Calui (1794)and his right arm at Tenerife (1797). He totally crushed France's fleet in the banle of the Nile (1798). During an interlude at Naples be fell in loue with Lady Emma Hamilton, wife of the British enuoy, an affair that caused much scandal. Victorious again at Copenhagen(1801),he was createduisconnt. In 1805, after an eighteen-monthblockade of Toulon, the French fleet broke through and were pursued by Nelson. At the ensuing banle of Trafalgar, in which the British were uictoriotts, Nelson was mortally wounded. I Shortly after the loss of his right arm, Nelson waspresentedto King GeorgeIII, who congratulated him upon his naval victories, then added prophetically, "But your country has a claim for a bit more of you." 2 \fhen he tried to obtain compensationfor his lost ey€, Nelson was told that no money could be paid without a surgeon'scertificate. Annoyed by this petty bureau$acy) since his wounds were well known, Nelson nevertheless ary documentation. As a obtained the necess precaution,he askedthe surgeonto make out a second certificateattestingto the obvious loss of his arm. He presentedthe eye certificateto the clerk, who paid out the appropriate sum, commenting on the smallnessof the amount. "Oh, this is only for an ey€r" saidNelson. "In a few daysI'll come back for an arm, and probably, in a little longer, for a leg." Later that week he returned to the office and solemnly handed over the second certificate. 3 After pursuing the French fleet around the Mediterraneanfor someweeks,Nelson caught up with it at Alexandria. As preparations were made for the battle, Nelson sat down for dinner with his officers."Before this time tomorrow I shall havegaineda peerage,or'Sfestminster Abbey," he said to them as they went out to their various stations. {On this occasion- the battle of the Nile - it was the peerage.)

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4 In the middle of the battle of Copenhagen, after the Danish bombardment had continued unabated for three hours, Nelson's commander,Sir Hyde Parker,sent him the signalto "discontinue action." Clapping his telescope

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to his blind eye,Nelson saidthat he did not see the signal. When the officers around him insistedlt was there,he merelyreiterated,"l have only one eye- I have a right to be blind sometimes- I really do not seethe signal!" {Naval historians have pointed out that this was simply a pieceof pantomime' as Sir Hyde Parker had sent Nelson a private messagebeforehand, saying that if such a signalwere hoisted,he was to use his own discretionasto whether to obey it. This does not in any way detract from Nelson's courageand accurateappraisal of the situation, which led to a splendid victory.) 5 Sir William Hamilton, husbandof Nelson's perfect generosity toEmma, behaved with 'When he died at an adward his wife's lover. vanced age in 1803, he breathed his last in Emma'sarms,holding Nelson by the hand.He left Nelson a favoriteportrait of E,rnma,done in enamel,and the codicil containingthe bequest endedwith the words: "God blesshim, and shame fall on those who do not say' Amen." 6 Before the battle of Trafalgar, Nelson on board HMS Victory discussedtheir chances with Thomas Masterman Hardy, his captain. Hardy said that, all things considered, he would think the capture of fourteen ships a glorious outcome. "l shallnot be satisfiedwith anything lessthan twenty," replied Nelson. He then ordered the sending of his last signal: ..ENGLAND EXPECTSEVERY MAN \TILL DO HIS DUTY.'' {This is the wording in Southey's Life of Nelson; the words are often quoted in the form: "EI{GLAND EXPECTS EVERY MAN TO DO HIS DUTY." The final outcome of the battle was another triumph of Nelson's judgment: the English fleet took twenty French vessels captive.) 7 (Mortally wounded, Nelson lingered for severalhours in fearful agony,but knew before he died that the English had gained a magnificent victory. Robert Southey reports his final moments, after he had given his last orders concerningthe fleet.) "Presently, calling Hardy back, he said to 'Don't throw me overhim in a low voice,

board'; and he desiredthat he might be buried by his parents,unlessit should pleasethe king to order otherwise. Then reverting to private 'Take careof my dear Lady Hamiltotr, feelings: Hardy; take care of poor Lady Hamilton. Kiss ffi€, Hardy.' Hardy knelt down and kissed 'Now I am satishis cheek; and Nelson said, fied. Thank God, I havedone my duty.' Hardy stood over him in silencefor a moment or two, ''Sfho then knelt againand kissedhis forehead. is that?' said Nelson; and being informed, he 'God bless you, Hardy.' And Hardy replied, then left him - for ever." As, qt NERO (no 37-no 58), Roman emperor (eo his uncleand adop54-eo 6S).Nero sLtcceeded tiue father, Claudius, by excluding and then killing his cousin Britannicus. His mother, Agrippina, and his wife, Octauia, were among subsequentuictims of his crazy tyranny. The first large-scaleconspiracy (55) against him failed, but in 68 the reuolt of military commanders caused Nerr> to flee from Rome and ! commit suicide. I Agrippina was determinedto securethe imperial throne for her son despite Claudius's plansto nameBritannicusas his successor.She therefore fed the elderly emperor poisonous mushrooms, and he died in agony, without havemade plain his wishesconcerningthe succession.Nero ascendedthe throne, gaveClaudius a splendid funeral, and later deified him. He remarkedthat mushroomswere indeedthe food of the gods,becauseby eatingthem Claudius had becomedivine. {Imperial Rome's intricaciesare famous. For Agrippina sinned againstinstead of sinning,seethe anecdotesat her name.) 2 (Suetoniustells the story of the burning of Rome.) "Pretendingto be disgustedby the drab old buildings and narrow, winding streets of Rome, he brazenly set fire to the City; and though a group of ex-consuls caught his attendants, armed with oakum and blazing torches, trespassingon their property, they darednot interfere.He alsocovetedthe sitesof severalgranaries,solidly built in stone, near the Golden House [Nero's palace]; having knocked down their walls with siege-engines, he set the interiors ablaze.This terror lastedfor

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six daysand sevennights,causingmanypeople to take shelter in the tombs. . . . Nero watchedthe conflagrationfrom the Tower of Maecenas, enrapturedby what he called'rhe beautyof the flames';then put on his tragedian'scostumeandsangTheFallof Ilium from beginningto end." {Hencethe phrase"fiddlingwhileRome burns." Modern historiansexonerate Nero for startingthis catastrophicblaze; he himselfthought the Christianswere - after all, the most likely incendiaries they believedthat the end of the world would come with fire- and he persecutedthemwith much cruelty.) 3 Fleeingfrom Romewith his enemieshard on his heels,Nero took refugein a villa a few milesout of the city. The four faithful servants who attendedhim insistedthat heshouldcommit suicidehonorably,ratherthan fall into the handsof thosewho hadseizedpowerin Rome. of his own with the greatness Still obsessed gifts as an actor, poet, and singer, Nero watchedthemenpreparinghisfuneralpyreand as he watched muttered through his tears, "Qualis artifex pereo!" (How great an artist dieshere!) Ar, 4t poet, NERVAL, Gdrardde(1808-55),French translator,and playwright. His early works reputation.His later gainedbim a considerable writings wereinfluencedby *ysticism and the occult.Sufferingall his life from boutsof insanity, he finolly hangedhimself. 1 G€rardde Nervalwalkedin the gardensof in Paris,leadinga lobsteron a the Palais-Royal paleblue ribbon.Askedwhy he did so, he replied that he preferredlobstersto dogsor cats becausethey could not bark at one, and besides,theyknew the secretsof the sea. {JamesJoycementionsthis,perhapsthe most famousof Nerval'seccentricities, in StephenHero.) 2 For sometime Gerardde Nerval had carried aroundwith him an old apronstringthat, garter hemaintained, wastheQueenof Sheba's - or a corset-stringbelongingto Mme de Maintenon or Margueritede Valois. In the small hours of the morning of January 26, 1855,he knockedon the door of a dosshouse

in a poor quarter of Paris.The conciergeheard the knock but decided it was too cold ro open up. \(/hen daylight dawned, the poer was discovered hanged from some iron railings with the Queen of Sheba'sgarter.As a final macabre touch, a pet ravenwas hovering neatby, repeating the only words it knew: "l'ai soif!" (l'm thirsty!) A$ e8 NESBIT, Evelyn (1884-1957),US model and showgirl. I In 1905 Evelyn Nesbit married millionaire Harry K. Thaw. The following year the couple were dining in a smart restaurant when Harry Thaw noticed his wife's former lover, architect Stanford White, at a nearby table. He walked over, pulled out a gun, and shot his rival three times in the face. Evelyn Thaw's reaction was memorable: "My, you are in a fix, Harry!" \,il(/tr{Thaw was later judged insane.See soN MlzNnn 10 for one reaction to I(rhite's death.) Ar, 116 NEWTON, Sir Isaac (1,642-L727), English physicist and mathematician. He discouered the law of grauitation and went on to formulate the laws of motion that underlie classical mechanics. He became Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge (1659), and in this field his maior contribution u)As the discouery of tbe calculus (an honor contestedby l*ibniz). The reflecting telescope was a product of his work on optics. His most important publications were Principia mathematica (1685-87) and Optics (1704). I In an eighteen-monthperiod during 1565 to L666 the plague forced Newton to leave Cambridge and live in his mother's house at \Toolsthorpe in Lincolnshire (a house that can still be seenand is preservedasa museum).One d^y he was sitting in the orchard there, pondering the question of the forces that keep the moon in its orbit, when the fall of an apple led him to wonder whether the force that pulled the apple toward the earth might be the same kind of force that held the moon in orbit round the earth. This train of thought led him eventually to the law of gravitaticn and its application to the motion of the heavenlybodies. {Voltaire, who heard the anecdote from

NEWTON

Newton's stepnieceMrs. Conduitt, and the antiquarian William Stukeley are early sourcesfor this story. If not wholly apocryphal,it is probably an embroidery of the truth. It is certainly a fact that during his stay at Woolsthorpe Newton achievedthe insightsthat led to his greatest scientificwork.) 2 Newton owned a pet dog called Diamond, which one d^y knocked over the candleon the scientist's desk and started a blaze that destroyed records of many years'research.Newton, viewing the destruction, said onlyr:-"O Diamond, Diamond, thou little knowest the damagethou hast done." 3 A woman, hearing that Newton was a famous astrologer, visited him to ask him to find out where she had lost her pursesomewhere between London Bridge and Shooters' Hill, she thought. Newton merely shook his head.But the woman was persistent, making as many as fourteen visits. Finally, to get rid of her, Newton donned an eccentric costume, chalked a circle around himself, and intoned, "Abracadabra! Go to the fagade of Greenwich Hospital, third window on the south side. On the lawn in front of it I see a dwarfishdevil bending over your purse." Away went the woman - and according to the story, that is where she actually found it. {This story is probably apocryphal,but it neatly illustrates the popular reputation of scientistsin the seventeenth-century mind.)

425 visited one d^y by Fellow of the Royal Society " of London, to whom she related the strange behavior of "the poor cnzy gentleman" next door. "Every morningr" she said, "when the sun shines so brightly that we are obliged to draw the window-blinds, he takes his seat in front of a tub of soap-sudsand occupieshimself for hours blowing bubblesthrough a common clay pipe and intently watchesthem until they burst." Following his hostessto the windcrw, the visitor saw Newton at his work. Turning to the widow, he said, "The person you supposeto be a poor lunatic is none other ihan t[i great Sir IsaacNewton, studying the refraction of light upon thin plates- a phenomenon which is beautifully exhibited upon the surfaceof common soap bubbles." 7 "What is your opinion of the immortality \ of the soul?"askedan Italian lady of Newton. I "Madam, I am an experimentalphilosopher," f Newton answered. I S Newton, Cambridge University's repre-i I sentativeto Parliamentin 1.589,was not welll I adapted to life as a parliamentarian.Only oni I one occasion did he rise to his feet, and thel I Houre of Commons hushedin expectationof I f hearing the greatman's maiden speech.New- | I ton observed that there was a window op.tt, I i which was causing a draft,' asked that it be li \closed, and sat doiln.

5 Newton cut a hole in the bottom of an outside door to enable his beloved cat to go freely in and out of the house. When it had kittens, Newton cut a small hole next to the original one. {Probably a traditional ioke, foisted on Newton.)

9 One eveningduring the Anglo-Dutch wars Newton came into the hall at Trinity College, Cambridge, announcing to the Fellows that there had been a naval battle that d"y between the Dutch and the English,and that the English had got the worst of it. As Cambridgeis a considerabledistancefrom the seaand asit was the first the Fellows had heard of any battle, they were naturally skeptical; they asked him how he knew. Newton explained that he had been in his observatory and heard a great firing of cannon, such as could only be between two great fleets.The noise had become louder and louder, which suggestedthat the English ships were retreating towaid the English coast. The following day a full report of the battle exactly bore out Newton's summary.

6 Newton once lived next door to a rather inquisitive widow, who was unaware of her neighbor's identity and renown. The lady was

10 In 1696JeanBernoulliand G.]W. Leibni{ concocted two teasingproblems they sent toi the leading mathematiciansin Europe. Afterl

4 An admirer asked Newton how he had come to make discoveriesin astronomy that went far beyond anything achievedby anyone before him. "By alwaysthinking about them," replied Newton simply.

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the problems had beenin circulation for about six months, a friend communicated them to Newton, who, when he had finished his day's work at the Mint, camehome and solvedboth. The next d^y he submitted his solutions to rhe Royal Societyanonymously,as he did not like to be distracted from the businessof the Mint by embroilment in scientific discussions.The anonymity did not, however, deceive Bernoulli. "l recognize the lion by his paw!" he exclaimed. 11 Newton invited a friend to dinner but then forgot the engagement.\ilfhen the friend arrived, h. found the scientistdeep in meditation, so he sat down quietly and waited. In due course dinner was brought up - for one. Newton continued to be abstracted. The friend drew up a chair and, without disturbing his host, consumed the dinner. After he had finished, Newton came out of his reverie, t looked with some bewilderment at the empty dishes,and said, "If it weren't for the proof before my eyes,I could have sworn that I have { yet dined." l; :o, ,i I

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12 To theveryendof hislife Newton'sscienAccordingto tific curiositywas unquenched. one authorityhis (somewhatimprobable)last wordswere:"l do not know what I mayappear to theworld.But to myself,I seemto havebeen divertonly like a boy playingon the seashore, ing myselfin now and then findinga smoother pebbleor a prettiershellthan ordinary,whilst the greatoceanof truth lay all undiscovered beforeme." &.' 48 NIARCHOS, Stavros(1909- ), GreekshipPingmagnate. I Niarchos had commissionedSalvadorDali to paint his portrait for a fee of $15,000. Growing restlessduring the first sitting, he left as soon as the face was sketched in and told Dali to finish the picture without him. Dali promptly painted in a naked body and raised the fee to $25,000. Undeterred by Niarchos's refusal to pay, he doubled the price and sold the painting to Aristotle Onassis,his client's greatestrival. Lunching with Onassis,Niarchos found the picture displayed on the diningroom wall. "All right, how much do you want?" he sighed."seventy-fivethousand dol-

lars,"saidOnassis. Niarchospaid up andtook the portrait home,whereit was immediately consignedto the backof a closet. A.' QB NICHOLAS I (1796-1855),czar of Russia (1825-55).HauingcrushedtheDecembristuprising,N icholasruledautocraticalb,extending mililary disciplineand a secretpoiilcenetworfr throughoutthe state.His ambitionsin the BalkansembroiledRussiain the CrimeanWar. I One of the Decembristconspiratorscondemnedto be hangedwas KondratyRyleyev. Theropebroke.Ryleyev,bruisedandbattered, fell to the ground,got up, and said,"In Russia they do not know how to do anythingproperly,not evenhow to makea rope." Ordinarily an accidentof thissortresultedin a pardon,so a messenger was sentto the \Tinter Palaceto know the czar'spleasure.Nicholas asked, "'What did he say?" "Sire,he saidthat in Russiatheydo not even know how to makea rope properly." "'Well,let the contrarybe provedr"saidthe czar. Ar, '.8 NICKLAUS, Jack William (1940- ), US golfer.Between1959and 1981he won the US amateurcbampionship(twice), the US Open (four times),the British Open (threetimes),the US ProfessionalGolfers'Association championship(fiuetimes),and theMasters(fiuetimes), thus winning more maior championshipsthan any otlter player. 1 Nicklaus dethronedArnold Palmeras the reigningking of golf when he camefrom five strokesbackto tie afterT}holesin the l,962U5 Open,and then won the 18-holeplayoffnext d"y. Palmernoted, "Now that the big bear's out of the cage, everybodybetter run for cover."Nicklaus'scommentwas:"I'm hungry asa bear.But I'm gonnaslim down and go for thegold." Slimmeddown,hebecameknownas "the GoldenBear." 4., 48 NIJINSKY, Vaslav(1890-1950),Russian balIet dancerand choreographer. Joining Diaghileu's BalletsRzssesin Paris (1909), Niiinsky quickly createda legendaryreputation as a dancerin suchballetsasLeSpectrede la Rose.

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ln 1919 his careerwas brought to a premature end by mental illness. | \7hen Nijinsky choreographedLe Sacredu Printemps (The Rite of Spring) to Stravinsky's music, most critics loathed the ballet as a disturbing departure from the themes and conventions of the classicaldance to which they were accustomed.In fact, one early critic gave it a title that quickly caught on: Le Massacredu Printemps. 2 Niiinsky and Diaghilev,lunching with Lady Juliet Duff, one of their influential admirers in London, were askedto signher birthday book. After his signatureDiaghilevwroter"L'Ami des dieux" (The friend of the gods).Nijinsky, more modestly and flatteringly, wrote, "Le Spectrea Ia rose" (The Spectreto the rose). Ao, q8 NILSSON, Birgit Marta (1918- ), Swedish soprano celebratedfor her Wagnerian interpretations. | (Miss Nilsson appearedin Turandol with the tenor Franco Corelli on a Metropolitan Opera tour under the managementof Rudolf Bing.) "Mr. Corelli, after having been thoroughly 'ln questa outshouted in reggia,' immediately left the stage(he had no more to sing, but he y"r supposedto be there),sulked in his dressing room, and declaredthat he would not come out again.At this point, Rudolf Bing is said to have entered the dressingroom with an idea wonderfully calculatedto appealto the tenor's 'ln amour propre. Americd, d man cannot retreat before a womdrr' Mr. Bing is reported to , have said. 'Continue! And in the last act,when rhe time comes to kiss her, bite her instead.' Mr. Corelli is said to have followed instruc: tions, and Mr. Bing, accordingto the story, fled , to New York, where Miss Nilsson telephoned 'I him, saying, cannot go on to Cleveland.I have rabies.t" 2 "Once she was negotiatinga contract with Herbert von Karajan,at the time director of the Vienna Opera, when a string of pearlsshe was wearing broke and scatteredall over the floor. Von Karajan and several others who were

presentgot down on their kneesto searchfor 'We must find every one of them,' the pearls. 'These are the expensive von Karaian said. pearlsthat Miss Nilsson buyswith her high fees 'Nor' Miss Nilsson refrom the Metropolitan.' 'These are just imitation ones, which I plied, buy with my low fees from the Vienna Opera.t

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{3 Sir Rudolf Bing, who had often engaged 'Miss Nilsson,was askedif the starwas difficult."Not at allr"hereplied."You put enough ;moneyin andglorioussoundcomesout." 4 Asked what was neededfor a successful Isolde,Miss Nilsson replied,"Comfortable shoes.tt

5 As tickets for a New York concert by Birgit Nilsson were sold out many weeks in advance, the organizerscabledMiss Nilsson to ask if she would object to their selling some extra seats on the podium. She replied by return: "Sell everything, and pleasedon't forget the space on the piano lid." As, e8 David (1909-83), British mouie NIVEN, actor. A debonair and polished perfolmer, he made more than eighty mouies, including The Prisonerof Zenda (1937),The Guns of Navarone (1951),and PaperTiger (1975). His autobiography, The Moon's a Balloon (1972), wAs also extremely successful. I At the Academy Awards presentationsin April 1,974,the proceedingswere interrupted by a streaker who dashed across the stage where Niven and other celebritieswere sitting. 'Just think," said Niven, "probably the only laugh that man will everget is for stripping and showing his shortcomings." !2 Niven found it hard to come to termswith Jhe agingprocessand, in later life, still thought pf himselfasa young man. He recalleda visit to ,fott.London boat rf,o* with an attractive girl jmany yearshis junior. "suddenly this hideous ;couple hove into view; a foul old creaturewith 1acrone of a wife. To my horror, the man came I over and introduced himself. 'Good heavens, 'l Niven,' he said, haven't seenyou sinceyou

429 were at school.'\Ufhenthey'd gone, I could ' sensethat the girl was looking at me warily. ''Were you really at school with him?' she asked.iAbsoluteiy,'I told her. 'He was rhe, musicmaster."' i 4t Ary NIVERNAIS, LouisJulesMancini Mazarin, Duc de(1716-98),French soldieranddiplomat. He wasambassador to Rome(1748-52),Berlin (1755),and London(1752-53). I The widowedDuc de Nivernaiswasin the habitof callingon theComtesse deRochefort, alsoa widow, everymorningwithout fail. The regularityof thesevisitsdid not escapethe noto the tice of the duke'sfriends,who suggested widowerthat it would befar simplerfor him to marrythe lady,"Oh, yes,certainlyr"repliedthe duke, "but where would I then spend my evenings?" Ar, '.8 NIXON, RichardMilhous(1913- ), USpolitician; 37th president of the United States (1969-74).Elected in 1945,hewas to Congress uicepresidentunderEisenhowerfrom 1953to 1951.Defeatedin the presidentialelectionof 1,960and in the 1952 contestfor gouernorof California, Nixon stageda political comeback in the mid-1.960s.As presidenthe established diplomaticrelationsbetweenthe United States and Chinaand in 1.973endedUSmilitary participationin theV ietnamconflict.Howeuer,the nation was shockedwhen it becameplain tbat Nixon, despitehis strenuousdenials,wAs inuoluedin tbe couerupof the notoriousbreak-in at Democratic headquartersin the Watergate apartment complex. He wAs forced to resign under threat of impeachment.His successor, GeraldFord, at oncegrantedhim a freepardon. I The first maiorattackon Nixon's integrity camein 1952 when there were someunexplainedcontributionsfrom wealthyCalifornia businessmen to a fund uponwhich Nixon had apparentlybeendrawingfor his own use.Eisenhowerwantedto drop Nixon ashisrunning mateon the Republicanticket,but Nixon appearedon televisionto defendhimselfin what becameknownastheCheckers speech. Having dwelt at lengthon his humbleoriginsand his advancementin life through his own efforts,

NIXON

Nixon admitted that he had accepted a gift after the nomination - namely, a spaniel puppy, which his daughter had christened Checkers.He told how his kids loved the dog and how, whatever anyone said, the family was going to keep it. Thousands of telegramsof support poured into Republicanheadquarters, and Nixon remainedon the Republicanticket, though cynical observersdescribedthe Checkers speechas "a slick production." '$Tashington 2 At a Gridiron Club dinner in Truman and Nixon were guests.That year the theme of the annual event was Love. When Nixon rose to give a short speech,he mentioned that during the predinner cocktail hour, he had been asked to pass a bourbon-andwater to President Truman. This he presumably did. "'When Harry Truman," he said, "will accept a drink from the hand of Richard Nixon without having someone else taste it first that's Love." 3 In one of the televised debates between presidential candidatesNixon and Kennedy in "1,960, Nixon demandedthat Kennedy disown the earthy languageused by ex-PresidentTruman, a vigorous Kennedy supporter, and applauded the way in which Eisenhower had restored "the dignity of the office." Kennedyjust laughed. A few minutes after the ending of the debate, Nixon raged to the newsmen waiting for comments, "That fucking bastard, he wasn't supposedto be using notes!" 4 Meeting Kennedy" aide Ted Sorenson shortly after Kennedy" inaugural address, Nixon remarked that there were things in the speechthat he would have liked to have said. 'Ask not "Do you mean the part about what your country can do for you o o . ?"' saidSorenson. "Nor" replied Nixon, "the part beginning'l do solemnlyswear. . . ."' 5 On Octob er 28, L970, the presidentialmotorcade through St. Petersburg,Florida, came to an abrupt halt when the policeman at the head of the procession was hit by a truck. Nixon rushedto the sceneand offeredhis sympathies to the injured policeman, Don Leadbeter. By way of reply, Leadbeter apologized for holding up the motorcade. There was an awkward silence as the president searchedfor

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something else to say. He finally blurted out' "Do you like the work?" 6 In Parisfor the funeral of French president GeorgesPompidou in 1974, Nixon remarked: "This is a great d^y for France." 7 Signingcopies of his book Six Crises,at a local bookstore, Nixon asked each customer to what name he should addressthe inscription. One gentleman replied with a grin: "You've just met your seventhcrisis.My name is Stanislaus\Tojechzleschki." 8 "President Nixon was shaking hands and talking with membersof a crowd at an airport 'How is Smowhen a little girl shoutedto him, k.y the Bear?' referring to the famous firefighting symbol who was then residing at the WashingtonZoo. Nixon smiledat the girl and turned away,but she kept waving and asking her question. LJnableto make out her words, Nixon sought help from his aide-de-camp, 'Smokey SteveBull. Bull whispered, the Bear, \ilTashingtonNational Zoo.' Nixon walked over to the little girl, shook her hand and said, 'How do you do, Miss Bear?"' 9 Questionedby the British televisioninterviewer David Frost about his approvalof aplan of action that entailed such criminal ingredients as burglary and the opening of orher people'smail, Nixon replied,"'Well, when the presidentdoes it, that meansit is nor illegal." A--, q4 NOAILLES, Anna-Elisabeth, Comtesse de (1876-1933),Frenchpoet and nouelist. 1 "Anna de Noailles (asFoujita puts the finishingtouchesto his portrait of her):'But you haven't made my eyes big enough. My eyes have been compared to broad flowing rivers. And what have you done to my forehead? Make it broader and higher. I'm a poet - what do you supposeI do my thinking with? This portrait has got to be just right - it will be all anyone knows of how I look, after I'm dead. After all, my friend, one of thesedaysI will be dead.' Foujita (between clenched teeth): tYes.t tt

As, 4

NORBURY, JohnToler, 1stEarl of (1745183l), Irish lawyer;chiefjusticeof theCourtof A staunch CommonPleasin lreland(180A-27). supporterof the union of Englandand lreland Norbury was ascendancy, andof theProtestant frequently accusedof partiality against tbe He wasmuchdislikedfor his RomanCatholics. snrcasmand buffooneryon thebench,although in priuatelife he seemsto hauebeeniust and kindly. I Norbury was riding with another Irish lawyer, John Parsons,in Parson'scarriage.Their t route took them pasta gibbetwith a corpsestill hangingon it. The melancholysight prompted Lord Norbury to remark,"Ah, Parson,if we all had our deserts,where would you be?" "Alone in my carriage,"was the response. {2 A Dublin attorney having died in poverty, fhis legalcolleaguesset up a subscriptionto pay ifor his funeral. Lord Norbury was asked to rcontribute.On inquiring whai sum would be iappropriate,he was told that no one elsehad subscribedmore than a shilling. "A shilling!" exclaimedthe judge, reachinginto his pocket. '"A shilling to bury an attorney?Why, here'sa j guinea! Bury one and twenty of the scoundrels." {slight variants of this story, involving other personages, abound. SeeAlEx, ANDREDuue s (pere)5 .) i 3 Even as he lay dying, Lord Norbury could not resista jest.Realizingthat his end was imminent, he sent his valet around to another aged peer who was also on his deathbed. 'James," he said,"presentmy complimentsto Lord Erne and tell him it will be a dead heat betweenus." A-'' 'z'$ NORDEN, Denis (1922- ), British broadcaster and scriptwriter. In collaboration with Frank Muir, he has written scripts for numerous comedy programs on radio and teleuision and frequently appeArson panel games. L During the course of conversation with Sir PeterScott, famous ornithologist and honorary director of the Wildfowl Trust, Norden unthinkingly let slip the casual remark, " . o . doing it that wly, you can kill two birds with one stone."

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NORTH, Frederick,Lord (1732-92),British statesman;prime minister (1770-82). His financialmeasures beforebecomingprimeminister led to confrontation with the American colonists;hencehe was heldlargelyresponsible for the outbreakof the AmericanReuolution. British failuresin the conflictwerealsoblamed! on him and forcedhis resignation. i I When North wasvisitingAlgiers,he asked thed.y if hemightseethewomenof hisharem. The dey'sreactionwas not at all what might havebeenexpectedof a jealousorientalpotentate:"He is so ugly,let him seethemall." 2 Sir Joseph Mawbey rose during a parliamentary sitting and roundly attacked Lord North for his part in the revolt of the American colonists. He assertedthat it was entirely due to North's mismanagement that so much blood had been spilled and so many resources wasted in an unnecessarywar. Lord North listened to the onslaughtwith his eyesshut. "Furthermor€," continued SirJoseph,"he is so little affectedby consciousnessof his misdeedsthat he is even now asleep."Lord North stirred in his seat and opened his eyes."I wish to God, Mr. Speaker,I was asleep," he remarked, and closed his eyesagain. 3 After one of his frequent quarrels with his father, the Prince of Wales (later King George IV) asked Lord North to act as mediator and bring about a reconciliation. Having made the prince's peacewith GeorgeIII, Lord North reported his successto the prince, adding a little homily for the occasion: "Now, ffiy dear prince, do in future conduct yourself differently- do so for God's sake, do so for your own sake,do so for your excellentfather's sake, do so for the sake of that good-natured man Lord North, and don't oblige him againto tell your good father so many lies as that goodnatured man has been obliged to tell him this morning." l t h became d. lH . \ bl ind. ' a e lLor, - rd N, l Olrt 4 I n h i sol( cl dt ag( rst rdwlhc o lhad likewiselost y a 'fri:ienr db by was visitec ins; m - l t \ 'illl ssuspect us orf in nel, on( el,r [l'r o oont ewi sight. "Co>lo ! I I t :oo see ourld be overjoyed shr cerity if wve) s aLyWriresl each othe? t r ' SAidI t hhe ol,ld man ln greetlting his J friend.

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NORTHCLIFFE, Alfred CharlesWilliam Harmsworth,Viscount (1855-1922),British newspaper publisher and politician. He foundedthe Daily Mail (1595)and the Daily Mirror (1903);in 1908heacquiredThe Times. I Northcliffe was notorious for his arbrtrary dismissalof journalists.He once singledout a certain employee and asked him if he was h"ppy in his work. "Yes, sir," replied the journalist. "Then you're dismissedr" snapped Northcliffe. "l don't want anyone here to be content on five pounds a week." Art ..'8

NORTHCOTE, James(1745-1831 ), British artist specializingin portraits and historical paintings. 1 Sitting for Northcote, the Duke of Clar-) ence(afterwardrilTilliamIV) askedif the artist I knew his brother,the PrinceRegent.North- 1 cote said he did not, and the duke was sur- I prised:"Why, my brothersaysheknowsyou." I "That's only his brag,"repliedNorthcote. I A.' q8 NORTON, Fletcher, lst Baron Grantley (1716-89),British lawyer. Unscrupulousand abrasiuein manner,Nortonfeaturesin cartoons of the period concerningthe many celebrated casesin which he appearedas "Sir Bull-Face Double-Fee." I Norton was once pleadingbefore Lord Mansfieldon the subjectof manorialrights. Duringthe courseof his speech,he madethe unfortunateremark,"My lord, I canillustrate the point in an instantin my own person;I myselfhavetwo little manor5-." Lord Mansfield, pouncingwith glee upon the unintentional putr, interrupted,"'We all know it, Sir Fletcher." Ar, ".8 NOYES, John Humphrey (1811-85),US social reformer; founder of the communistic Oneida Community in L847. I Noyes envisioneda society in which there was no motr€y, no private propefty, food and shelter for all, and thus no need for competition. A visitor to the community is saidto have askedher guide the nature of the fragrancethat

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she smeltin "the HonorableJohn's" house. maybe,"was "The odor of crushedselfishness, the reply. Ar, 48 NUFFIELD, William Richard Morris, lst British car menufacViscount (1'877-1,963), turer and philanthropist.He setup theMorris carfactory,wltich euentuallybecamepart of the nationalized motor group, British Leyland. Nuffield founded Nuffield College,Oxford, and his charitablefoundationhas mademany important gifts. When Lord Nuffield was planningthe . (f ' foundationof a collegeat Oxford, he wasinvited to dine one night at MagdalenCollege. Leaving afterdinner,h. stoppedto collecthis hat at the porter'slodge.It wasproducedso rapidlythat Nuffieldaskeddoubtfullyhow the i porter knew it was his. "l don't, my lordr" answered theporter,"but it's theoneyoucame

i

with."

NURMI, Paavo(1 897-1973),Finnish athlete. Known as the FlyingFinn, he is iudged by many the greatest long-distancelunner of all time. I During the L 924 Olympics in Paris,Nurmi ran seven races in six days. Adrian Pavlen, former president of the IAAF and himself an Olympic long-distancerunner, recalls the day in which Nurmi won the 1,500-meterevent' then seventy-fiveminutes later won the 5,000. That night Pavlenand some friends were on a bus going from Colombes,the Olympic village, to a party in Paris.The distancewas about six miles. "'We looked out the window and there was Nurmi walking to Paris, even though he had competed in the 1,500 and 5,000 a few hours earlier." {In his later years Nurmi suffered from thrombosis in the brain, a heart attack, partial paralysis on his left side, and blindness in his left eye. Almost to the d^y he died he walked eight miles a day.)

es'O q8 OATES, Lawrence Edward Grace (1880I9l2), British explorer and membe, of Robert Falcon Scott's ill-fated expedition to the South Pole. I On their return journey from the Pole, Scott's party was beset by fearful blizzards. Oates suffered badly from frostbitten feet, which were turning gangrenous.He beggedto be left behind so as not to slow up the others. His companionswould not hear of it, and they struggled on for another d^y.The following morning the blizzard was still raging. Oates said,"l am just going outside and may be some time." He then walked out of the tent and vanishedforever into the storm. {Oates's sacrifice was in vain because Scott and the rest of the party died before reaching their base camp. The story of Oates's heroism became known only through Scott's diaries, found some months later in his tent by searchparty. " where Oates A cross,placednearthe spot walked out into the bhzzard, commemorates him as "a very gallant gentleman.") Ar, q8 OFFENBACH, Jacques(1819-80), French composer born in Cologne. Born ]acob Eberst, he adopted the name Offenbach after the town in which his father liued. He wrote a number of popular operettAs, such as La Belle H6l0ne (1864) and the grand opera Tales of Hoffman (produced posthumously L88 L). I Offenbach dismissedhis valet, but gavethe man such an excellent reference that a friend wondered why he should havelet him go. "Oh, he's a good fellow," said Offenbach, "but he won't do for a composer.He beatsmy clothes outside my door every morning and his tempo is nonexistent."

O'HARA, John[HenryJ(1905-70),USnouelist, short-story writer, and playwrigbt. His nouelsincludeAppointmentin Samarra(1934) and Butterfield8. He hadgreatadmirationfor the refinedmannersof tbe Iuy League. I Pooling their money during the Spanish 'War, Civil Ernest Hemingway, JamesLardner, and Vincent Sheeanfound they had some ro spare.There followed a discussionas ro how the surplus should be spenr. SuggestedHemingway:"Let's take the bloody money and start a bloody fund to sendJohn O'Hara to Yale." {The anecdote was circulated in several versions.) 2 (Someoneonce said of O'H aru that he was master of the fancied slight.) Robert Benchley and his daughter-in-law Marjorie, catching sight of O'H ara at the restaurant "2Ir" called him over to their table. Marjorie said,'John, we'vejust beenseeingPal ] oey agarn,and, do you know, I like it even better than I did the first time." "'What was the matter with it the first time?" said O'Hara.

Ary -8 OLDFIELD, Anne (1683-1,730), Britisb actress. I Mrs. Oldfield was a passenger on a ferry thlt appearedin imminenrdangerof capsizing. \il7hentheotherpassengers brokeinto lamentitions at what seemedto be their approaching doom,Mrs. Oldfieldrebukedthemwittr greai dignity.Theirdeathswould bemerelya marrer for privategrief,but, sheremindedthem,"l am a publicconcern." Ar, ..6 OLryIER, Laurence[Kerr], Baron (1,90789), Britisb actor, who madehis namein No27

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Cowardt Private Lives (1930) and ioined the Old Vic in 1937, where he Played many Shakespearean roles. He played in and directed the highly successful films Henry V (1944), Hamlet (1945), and Richard III (1955). Regarded as one of the world's greatest character actors, be was director of the British National Theatre Company from 1961 to 1973; part of the National Theatre has been named tbe Oliuier Theatre in his honor. He was made a life peer in 1970. 1 At the tender age of ten, Olivier gave a highly acclaimedperformance as Brutus in a school production of Julius Caesar.The actress Ellen Terry saw the play and declared: "The boy who plays Brutus ts already ^ great actor." Thesewords of praisewere relayedto the young Olivier. "Who is Ellen Terry?" he asked. 2 On a visit to Jamarcaas the guest of Noel Coward, Sir Laurence Olivier accompanied Coward to a mountaintop to see the playwright's favorite view. Looking out at the terracesof jungle sprawledbeneathhim, Olivier had but one comment:"lt looks like rows and rows of empty seats." Ar, =oB 'OMAR

(died to 654),Muslim caliph during whose caliphate (534-544) Arah rule was extendedouer what is now Syria, Iraq, lran, and Egpt. 'Omar's | general'Amr lbn Al-as conquered Egypt in 640. In 642, when the city of Alexandria surrenderedto him, 'Amr sent to 'Omar for instructions about how to deal with its great library, which contained hundreds of thousands of texts from classicalantiquity. 'Omar replied,"lf the writings of the Greeks agreewith the Koran they are superfluousand need not be presenred;if they disagreethey are pernicious,and ought not to be preserved." 'Amr therefore ordered the irreplaceable manuscriptsto be usedto fuel the furnacesfor the public baths. It is said that they kept the furnacesgoing for six months. {This story, told on the authority of the thirteenth-centurySyrianchurchman Bar-Hebraeus (Abulfarai), is generally 'Omar's agreedto be a fabrication,but reported reply epitomizes the rationale

of book-burners everywhere at any time.) Ar, ..6 ONASSIS, Aristotle [Socrates] (1906-75), Greek shipping magnate. He liued on a yacht called Christina, where he entertained, among others, SirW inston Churchill and Maria Callas, the opera singer,with whom he had a long and tempestuousrelationship. In 1958 he married the widowed Jacqueline Kennedy. His empire included about one hundred companiesand a mercbant fleet of fifty-frrt ships, as well as numerous holdings in banks, shipyards, and hotels. I On the Christina Onassishad installed a) luxurious private bathroom adjoining his of-' fice. The door was a one-way mirror, whichi enabledhim to observeunsuspectingvisitorsl from the privacy of the bathroom. t)Llring a businessmeeting one afternoon Onassisex- \ cused himself and went to the bathroom. Comfortably enthroned,he looked up at the door and was horrified to see his own reflection staring back at him. A workman making minor repairsto the door earlierin the d^y had replacedthe mirror the wrong way around. Ar, ..6 O'NEAL, Tatum (1963-

), US actress,

1 When fourteen-year-oldTatum O'Neal was making the film International V eluet, a school inspectorcame to make sure that she was not falling behind in her studies.Noting that her math was not very good, he asked whether that did not bother her. The child starwas unconcerned:"Oh, oo, I'll havean accountant."

Ar, {t US dramaO'NEILL, Eugene(1888-1953), tist. Broughtup in the theaterby his actor fain 1913turned ther,an attackof tuberculosis him toward writing plays. His first fullJength Play,Beyondthe Horizon (1920),won a Pulitzerprize.AnnaChristie (1922)and Mourning BecomesElectra(1931)werefurthersucIn 1935hewasawardedtheNobelPrize cesses. for literature.lll healthand alcoholismdoged saw the crehis later years,which nonetheless works,suchasThe ationof someof bisgreatest

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IcemanCometh(1945)and theautobiographical Long Day'sJourneyinto Night (wrinen in 1940-41,,but not performeduntil 1955). I Working as a news reporter on the N found it LondonTelegraph,O'Neillsometimes difficultto deliverhis storiesin a form acceptableto hiseditor.Onecontributioncameback with the followingnote:"This is a lovelystory, but would you mind finding out the name of, the gentleman who canred the lady and whether the dame is his wife or daughter or hint as for a htnt hospttaltor as to. phone the to { the hospital And phone who? And who?

whether she is dead or dischargedor what?f Then put the facts into a hundred and fifty{ wordsandsendthisliterarybatikto thepicture{ ' framers.tt

2 O'Neill alwaysstrongly obiected to cutting any of his plays. When director and playwright RusselCrouse asked him to shorten the script of Ah, Wilderness! he was very reluctant. The following day he telephoned Crouse to tell him that he had cut fifteen minutes. Surprisedand pleased,Crouse said, "I'll be right over to get the changes." "Oh, there aren't any changesto the textr" O'Neill explained, "but you know we have beenplayingthis thing in four acts.I've decided to cut out the third intermission."

Ar, -8 OPPENHEIMER, J. Robert(1904-67),US physicist,directorof thelnstitute for Aduanced Studiesin Princeton,New J€rs€ltfrom 1947to of L955.He was in chargeof the deuelopment the atomic bomb at the end of World War II, andfrom 1945to 1952helda keypositioninUS atomicpolicy. His misgiuingsaboutthe hydrogen bomb causedhim to foll foul of a McCarthyitewitch-hunt(1953),andhewaslabeled a security risk. Thereafterhe deuotedhimself mainly to consideringthe ethicsof sciencein society. I PhysicistJamesFranck was professor "f{ GottingenUniversitywhen the twenty-threei wasbeingexaminedfor year-oldOppenheimer his doctorate.On emergingfrom the oral ex-i amination,Franck remarked,"I got out ofi therejust in time.He wasbeginningto ask//7€i questions."

2 As Oppenheimer watched the first atomicf bomb explode in a test at Alamogordo, New\ Mexico, on July L6, 1945, a passagefrom thel Hindu scripture, the BhagauadGita, came intoi his mind: "lf the radianceof a thousand suns; were to burst into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One." Then, as the enormous mushroom cloud darkened the skyr another sentencefrom the same source came, to him: "l am become Death, the shattererof worlds." 3 After his contract with the Atomic Energy Commissionwas canceledon securitygrounds, Oppenheimer continued his work at Princeton. In April 1962 he was invited to a White House dinner by PresidentJohn F. Kennedy. Then in December L953 he was awarded the Enrico Fermi Award of the Atomic Energy Commission.Accepting this sign of official forgiveness from Lyndon B. Johnson, Oppenheimer said, "I think it is just possible,Mr. President,that it may have taken some charity and some couragefor you to make this award today." Ar, 48 ORSAY, Alfred-Guillaume-Gabriel, Count d' (1801 -52), French dandy, who spent many yearsin England. He and his stepmother-in'hw, Marguerite, Countess of Blessington, headed one of the most glittering of London's coteriesin the 1830sand 1840suntil, encumberedby debt, they had to flee to France, where they both died. I After 1841 Count d'Orsaywas besetby fear of arrestfor debt. The curious laws of the time, however, put him in no dangerof being served with a writ or arrested between sunset and sunrise. During daylight hours, visitors to his house had to establish their identity before they were allowed in, and two masdffsprowled in the garden.Despitetheseprecautionsan enterprising bailiff, disguised as an errand boy, managed to gain admittance late one afternoon. He surprised the count in his dressing room and revealed his true identity. D'Orsay, who was halfway through his toilet, did not lose his head. He asked the officer if he might finish dressingand courteously bade him take a chair. For over an hour the man sat and watched, fascinated, oblivious to the rapidly approachingsunset.The count, however, was

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of thesun.As monitoringtheprogress I carefully he gently rehorizon, the below i, slipped I no now his authority that the officer minded f I loneerran and sent for a seryantto showhim

l L /

I out. 2 Seatedat dinner next to the willful Lady Holland, Count d'Orsay found her ladyship determined to monop ohze his attention; wheneverit seemedto wander, she would reclaim it by dropping something, which, of course,the count had to retrievefor her. First her napkin fell to the floor, then a spoon, then her ladyship" fan. Finally the count lost patience and turning to the footman behind his chair, told him to place his platesand cutlery on the floor. "l shallfinishmy dinner there," he announced."lt will be so much more convenient for my Lady Holland." 8s, q8 OSCAR II (1829-1,907), king of Sweden (1872-1907) and Norutay (1872-1905). I Visiting a vill ageschool one d^y, the king asked the pupils to name the greatestkings of Sweden.The answerswere unanimous: Gustavus Vasa, GustavusAdolphus, CharlesXII. Then the teacherleanedover to one little boy and whisperedsomethingin his ear."And King Oscar," volunteered the child. "Really? And what has King Oscar done that's so remarkable?"askedthe king. "l - I - I don't know," stammeredthe unhappy child. "That's all right, my boy," said the king. "Neither do I." As, q8 O'TOOLE, Peter (1,932- ), British fil* Actor, who rose rapidly to stardom in such films as Lawrence of Arabia (1952), Becket (1954), and The Lion in Winter (1965). I As a little boy Peter O'Toole attended a school run by nuns. One d^y in a drawing class the children had been asked to draw a horse. Peter finished his and was sitting idle. A nun suggestedthat he make some additions- a saddle,maybe. The child got busy and after a time the nun returned. tilfhen she saw what he had drawn, shewent crimson and started slapping him; he had addeda penisto the horseand shown it urinating. As the nun buffeted him, the bewilderedchild protested,"But I was only drawing what I saw."

"'Walter O'Keefe, an actor in the US in the 1930s,was once invited to addressa medicalconvention.He found on arrival at the banquetthat the conventionwasin fact one of chiropodists. "O'Keefe had hardly tucked his napkin into his collar when a fanfare rang through the hall and the chiropodists leaped to attention. A spotlight roved across the heads of the multitude and picked up, on a wall bracket, Old Glory rippling in the breeze of an electric fan. After a properly patriotic salute,O'Keefe and the chiropodistsagainattacked their meal, an interval largely given over to a long, unhappy account by the chairman of his troubles in organizing the luncheon. Just as the ladyfingersand bombe glac6e were arriving a second fanfare brought everyoneup again. "The spotlight settled on the swinging doors to the kitchen where stood a chef in a tall hat and apron. He bowed, flourished to his staff inside,and a huge foot sculpturedout of ice rolled into view on a tea wagon. Amid thunderousapplause,it made a slow, majestic circuit of the tables. As it drew abreast the speaker's table, the already irascible chairman turned a rich mulberry. "'God damn itr' he snarled into O'Keefe'searr'they'vegoneand dropped the metatarsalarch!"' - S.J. Perelman, "Two Years down the Drainr" in '47, The Magazine of the Year

2 As a young actor PeterO'Toole landeda bit part as a Georgian peasantin a Chekhov play. All he had to do was to come on stage,announce, "Dr. Ostroff, the horses are readyr" and exit. Determined to obtain what mileage he could out of this unpromisingrole, O'Toole conceivedof the peasantas a youthful Stalin: he made himself ,rp to look like Stalin, practiced a slight limp like Stalin's,and rehearsed his line to indicate his furious resenrmenr againsthis social betters. The first-night audiencewas duly arousedby the entry of this ominous figure.Concentratingintensely,O'Toole

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OWEN

madehis announcement: "Dr. Horsey,the osJ I troffs are ready." Ar' 4E archdukeof Austria,faOTTO (1855-1900), ther of EmperorCharlesf. I The archdukesubmittedto a medical.*-i aminationby ^ renownedViennesephysician. The latter made careful,exhaustiveinquiries about his patient'ssymptoffis,pains,and so forth. Theseinsistentquestionsirritated the 1 archdukeand he wasfrank enoughto sayso. The doctor replied,"Your Highness,I suggest the next time you ask for a veterinarian.He I cureswithout asking anyquestions." 4., .8 OUIDA [Marie Louisede la Ramee](18391908), British nouelist.Her pseudonymwas based on a childish mispronunciation of "Louise." The receptionof her popularnouels of military and fashionablesocietywas helped by the attacksand parodiesthey euoked.Her most lasting successwas Under Two Flags (1,857). I Ouida,who neversufferedfrom falsemodesty,enjoyedthe chagrinof "serious"writeis

whose successwas a fraction of her own. Once when Oscar Wilde asked her the secretof her popularity, she confided, "l am the only woman who knows how two dukes talk when they are alone." {She didn't, of course, and one of the pleasuresreadersfound in her novelswas spotting the ridiculous blunders she madewhen describingmasculineconversation and pursuits.The most famous of these,"All rowed fast, but none so fast as stroker" comes, however, not from one of her books but from a parody by Desmond Coke.) Ar, 45 OWEN, Robert (1771-185S),Welsh manufacturer and social reformer, founder in 1825of the New Harmony, Indiana, utopian community. 1 There are many heart-breaking records of i nineteenth-century child labor in the coal mines of England. The philanthropist Owen once talked to a twelve-year-old breaker boy, coal-black, weary from digging shalefrom broken coal. "Do you know God?" asked Owen. Replied the boy, "No. He must work in some other mine."

es, P qS / PACHMANN, Vladimir de (1848-1933), u Rzssian pianist. He excelledas a performerof andentertaining manners I Chopin;his eccentric I on the platform madehim highlypopularwith \ audiences.

paigning abroad fo, support fo, a free and united Poland. He became prime minister of Poland (1919), but, failing to bring about national unity, resigned.

I

t tr Pachmann'seccentricitieswere not confined to his own stage appearances.During a concert by Leopold Godowsky, Pachmann once rushed onto the stage saying, "No, oo, Leopold, you moost play it like so." He then gaveademonstrationto the delightedaudience as Godowsky sat by, crimson-faced. He explained that he would not have bothered for just any old player. "But Godowsky is ze zecond greatestliffing pianistr" he announced. 2 During a London recital at which he played Chopin's Minute Ylaltz Pachmannadopted a curious hunched position, crouching over the keyboard so that no one could seehis hands. Feelingthe audiencewas owed some explanation, he said,"Vy I do zis?I vill tell. I seern ze owdience mein alte freund Moriz Rosenthal, and I do not vish him ro copy my fingering." 3 One of de Pachmann'sfavorite tricks before a recital was to play about with the piano stool, adjustingand readjusringit, until the audience becamedesperate.Then he would rush into the wings to fetch a largebook, placeit on the seat,and try that. He would indicatethat all was still not satisfactory and would rear one page from the book and try it again. Finally, if the audiencewas lucky, he would begin. 4., qt PADEREWSKI, Ignace Jan (1860-1941), Polish pianist, composer, and statesman. Paderewski was renowned for the uirtuosity of his playing.WhenWorld'War I broke ottt, he dedicated himself to the senticeof his country, cam-

| \fhen Paderewski played before Queen Victoria, he won her enthusiastic approval. "Mr. Paderewskir"she exclaimed, "you are a genius." Paderewski,who liked to allude to the number of hours he spentpracticing everyd^y, shook his head, "Perhaps,Your Majesty, but before that I was a drudge." 2 Paderewski'senormousreputation was not taken as seriouslyby fellow pianists as by the adoring public. Moriz Rosenthalwenr to hear Paderewskiplay in London and is reported to have said after the concert, "He plays well, I suppose,but he's no Paderewski." 3 A young American srudent visiting the Beethovenmuseum in Bonn was fascinatedby the piano on which Beethovenhad composed some of his greatestworks. Sheasked the museum guard if she could play a few bars on it; she accompaniedthe requestwith a lavish tip, and the man agreed.The girl sat down ar the piano and tinkled out the opening of the-_ Moonlighf Sonata.As she was leaving, she said to the guard, "I supposeall the grear pianists who come here want to play on that piano." The guard shook his head; "tilfell, Paderewski was here a few years agoand he said he wasn't worthy to touch it." 4 Paderewskihad been asked to play for the dinner guests of a certain EngliJh duchess. Somewhat taken aback by the size of the fee demandedby the pianist, the duchessdecided not to invite him for the meal itself and wrote: "Dear Maestro, acceptmy regretsfor not inviting you to dinner. As a professionalartist you

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i will be more at easein a niceroom whereyou \ can rest before the concert." Paderewski \ promptly replied:"Dear Duchess,thank you I for yourletter.Asyou sokindlyinformmethat I I am not obligedto bepresentat your dinner,I with half of my fee." Ishallbe satisfied SeealsoFntrz KnptslER2. ' 5 Paderewskiattended the 1"91,9 Paris Peace ' Conferenceas the new premier of Poland"The '' French premier, GeorgesClemenceau,was introduced to the great musician. "Are you a cousin of the famous pianist Paderewski?"he i asked mischievously."l am the famous pianist," replied Paderewski.l'And -you have become prime minister?"exclaimedClemenceau. , "'What a comedown!" 6 The pianists Moriz Rosenthal and Abram Chasinsattended one of Paderewski'sfarewell appearances.Long past his prime as a playe4 Piderewski turned in a dismal performance. Chasinsobsenredsadly, "The things that man has forgotten!" "'What he forgets isn't so bad," retorted Rosenthal. "It's what he remembers!" Aro 'e$ PAIGE, Leroy Robert ["Satchel"] (1904-82), US baseball player, one of the greatest of all pitchers. A prominent figrrrt in Negro baseball -in the 1920s, he later played for the Cleueland Indians (1948-51) and the St. Louis Browns. I "Paige worked briefly as a coach for the now-defunct Tulsa Oilers in 1976 and every night youngsters trooped to him for autographs. He gave them a small, white business 'Look on the back. That's where iard and said, my secretis.' The little leaguersturned over the 'Six Rules for a card and read SatchelPaige's Happy Life': 'i t''!..Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. "'z.If your stomachdisputesyou, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts. ( 33. Keep the iuices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. "'4. Go very light on vices such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain't restful. 6665.Avoid running at all times. "'6. Don't look back. Something may be gaining on you."' 4., 48

"Sir tWilliam Petty, I7th-century English political economist, had a boy (that is, a young servant)that whistled incomparably well. He after wayted on a Lady, a widowe, of good fortune. Every night this boy was to whistle his Lady asleepe. At last she could hold out no long€r, but bids her chamber-maydwithdraw: bids him come to bed, settshim to worke, and marries him the next d^y."

- Aubrey'sBrief Liues

Britisbpoliti-\ PAINE, Thomas(1737-1809), cal theoristand writer. His pamphletCommon/ in iustifyingthel Sense(1775)wasinstrumental AmericnnReuolution.WhenDisRightsof Man I (1791-92) appearedin supportof the French\ 'Reuolution,'ie was chargeclwith treasonandl, He wls blectedto the French', France. to fttd 'Conuention, and': imprisonedby Robespierre, escapedtheguillotineonly by chance.Belieuingi that the Americanshad desertedhim when he: was in dangerin France,Painewrote a bitterti attack on itrtrol Washington.He euentually\i emigratedto the UnitedStates(1502),whereht ! fouid himself unpopular. He died in New \ York. I Benjamin Franklin said to Paine, "'Where liberty is, there is my country." Paine answered, "Where liberty is not, there is mine." 2 When Paine was traveling through Baltimore, he was accosted by a Swedenborgian minister who had recognrzedhimasthe author of The Age of Reason. The deistic thesis expounded by that book had led to a large number of answersfrom divines of various persuasions, and the minister was clearly anxious to present the Swedenborgianviewpoint. Having introduced himself,he began,"I am minister of the New Jerusalem Church here, and we explain the true meaning of the Scripture. The k.y had been lost above four thousand years, but we have found it." "It must have been very rustyr" said Paine coolly. As' '"t8

PALEWSKI, Gaston (died 1984), French statesman,de Gaulle'schef de cabinet (Chief

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PALEI$(/SKI

of Staff), once the louer of Nancy Mitford, in whose nouels he occasionally makes a lightly disguised appearance.

"If " Palmerston wasunimpressed. f Englishman. tl I were not an Englishmanr"he replied, "I Ilthouldwishto be an Englishman."

I Noted for his amatory enterprise,Palewski, offering to drive a girl home from a party, met with the polite response,"Thank you, but I'm too tired; I think I'll walk."

physicianbroke the newsto [+ Palmerston's that he wasgoingto die. I the elderlystatesman is saidto [ "Die, my deardoctor?"Palmerston I shall "That's last thing the exclaimed. lhave ldo!"

&rn.-q8 PALEY, William (L743'-I805), British clergyman. He wrote seueralbooks on religion, most notably Evidencesof Christianity (1794).

I

4., qi

PARK, Mungo (1771,-1805) , Scottishexplorer of Africa. He describedhis first expeditionin Travels in the Interior Districts of Africa (1799); on his second expedition he was drownedduring an attackby natiues.

I Appointed archdeacon of Carlisle, Paley made no secretof his feeling that his position entitled him to lord it over the lesserclergy. Feelinga draft on his back during a diocesan dinner, he summoned a footman and instructed him, "Close the window behind me and open one behind one of the curates."

I While exploringa particularlywild anduncultivatedregionof Africa,Parkunexpectedly cameacrossa gibbet."The sightof it," helater remarked,"gave me infinite pleasure,as it provedthat I wasin a civilizedsociety."

A'' 48

PALMERSTON, Henry John Temple,3d Viscount (1784-1865), British statesman; prime minister (1855-58, 1859-65).He enteredParliamentas a Tory, but subsequently ioined the Whigs.Tbreetimesforeignsecretary (1830-34,1835-41,1845-51), hewasinfluential in shapingBritain's stronglynationalistic policy in foreignaffairs.

Ar, 48 PARKER, Dorothy (1893-1967),US shortstory writer, tlteatercritic, doyenneof minor light t)erse,and wit. |

\fhile

a book reviewer for The New Parker went on her honeymoon. Her editor, Harold Ross, began pressuring her for her belated copy. She replied, "Too fucking busy, and vice versa."

R Yorker, Dorothy

| \il7henPalmersronwas a yourr,fian, the Duke of Wellingron rryde in appoinrmenr with him for half gast sevenin tlie morning. Someoneexpr-6s€'6doubt that Palmerrtoi, who keptlat,ehours,would beableto keepthe appointfrnt. "of courseI shall,"he retorted. :'I+ p:lrfectlyeasy:I shallkeepit the lastthing bpforeI go ro bed."

2 At one time Dorothy Parker had a small, dingy cubbyhole of an office in the Metropolitan Opera House building in New York. As no one evercameto seeher, shebecamedepressed and lonely. I7hen the signwriter came to paint her name on the office door, she gor him ro write instead the word "GENTLEMEN."

2 Standingwith Palmersronat a military review on a particularlyhot d^y, the queen 3 A young man looking loftily around at a watcheda companyof perspiringvolunteers party said, "l'm afraid I simply cannor bear doublingpasther.Their proximitycausedher fools." to put her handkerchiefto her nose.Shere"How oddr" said Dorothy Parker. "Your markedto Palmerston, "Don't you think there mother could, apparently." is ratheta . . . ?" "Oh, that's what we call esprit de corps, I 4 tilTilliam Randolph Hearst lived with his ma'amr" replied. ,, movie-starmistressMarion Daviesin his spec1..

rl

3 A certainFrenchman,eagerto flatter the patrioticLord Palmerston, onceremarked,"If I werenot a Frenchman, I shouldwishto bean

,' tacular castle,SanSimeon.Hollywood personalities were frequent guests.Hearst always inlsisted upon the obse-rvationof certain rules. 'Despite his own irregular association with

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Marion Davies,one of theserules was thatl thereshouldbe no love-makingbetweenunmarried couples.Dorothy Parker broke thel rule and receiveda note from her host asking her to leave.In the SanSimeonvisitors'book sheleft theselines: Upon my honor, i I sawa Madonna Standingin a nichet 't Abovethe door Of the famouswhore Ii Of a prominentson of a bitch. {ln a variantof this storyDorothy Parker wasaskedto leaveSanSimeonfor drinking too much.) 5 After someyearsapartDorothy Parkerand her secondhusband,Alan Campbell,wereremarried.At the receptionfollowing the ceremony she remarked,"People who haven't talked to eachother for yearsare on speaking terms againtoday- including the bride and groom.tt

6 Dorothy Parkerand a friend were talkingI abouta forieful andgarrulouscelebrity."She'sI so outspo|.n," remarked the friend. "31 I whom?"askedDorothy. 7 Dorothy Parkerwrote a report on a yalel R prom at which the numberand beautyof ther girls presenthad obviouslymadea deep i-- , pressionon her. "If all those sweet young "l lhingswerelaidendto end,"sheannounced, wouldn't be at all surprised." :rtal ain hat a certa[ rrH rriterri o w terr ine idin one it: slidinl 8

,icultur' :i, re hortt rd ho ut ture u ure,bu rticult cultu ry )oroth' sard DDor in their 10 Lookingata worn-out toot bstsaidto Dorhostess'sbathroom, a fell

othy Parker,"Ylhqyrffi,o you think she"does with that?"

"I thi rep

e rides it on Ha,llstveenr"was the .t/

of her play 11 Attendingthe dre.se-rehearsal CloseHarmoSb,"DdiothyParkerwasdiscour,'-

agedby the performance. The leadingladywas amply endowed.At one pgint"thb producer, sittingwith Dorothy,whfsbered,"Don't you think she ought.to'"weara brassierein this scene?"

1,sad"F.,,;*'^j'r

"Go-dyd'br" said Dorothy. "You've got to haveiomething in the show that moves." 12 Gossiping about an acquaintance, Dorothy Parker murmured in bogus admiration, "You know, she speaks eighteen languages. 'No' in any of them." And she can't say 13 In the hospital Dorothy Parkerwas visited by her secretaq/,to whom shewished to dictate some letters. Pressing the button marked NURSE, Dorothy observed,"That should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy."

14 Leavingherplaceat the RoundTableon. [' d^yrDorothysaid,"Excuseme,I haveto go tol the bathroom."Shepaused,then went on, "I I reallyhaveto telephone,but I'm too embar-1 rassedto sayso." 15

Coming to pay her last respectstoJcott

Fitzgeraldashe lay in an undert?W{barlor in Los Angeles,Dorothy Pa*dised the words spokenby the anogffius mourner at the fuin Fitzgerald'sThe Great neral of Jayff$y Gatsby,flIte poor son-of-a-bitch!" 16 Dorothy Parker once attended a party with Somerset Maugham where the guests challenged each other to complete nursery rhymes. Somerset Maugham presented Mrs. Parker with the lines: "Higgledy piggledY,mY white hen/ She lays eggsfor gentlemen." Dorothy Parker added the following couplet: "You cannot persuade her with gun or Tariat/ To come acrossfor the proletariat." 17 (Lillian Hellman records an incident that took place as the body of Alan Campbell waq being-carried from the house where he had died.) "Among the friends who stood with Dottie on those California steps was Mrs. Jones, a woman who had liked Alan, pretended to like Dottie, and who had always loved all forms of meddling in other people's troubles. Mrs. 'Dottie, tell h€, dear,what I can do Jonessaid, for you.'

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'Get me new husband.' "Dottie said, a "There was a silence,but before those who would have laughed could laugh, Mrs. Jones 'I said, think that is the most callous and disgusting remark I ever heard in my life.' "Dottie turned to look at her, sighed,and 'So sorry. Then run down to the said gently, corner and get me a ham and cheeseon rye and tell them to hold the mayo."'

| "ln his old d1e, after he quit the wa{path' Quannah Parker o . adopted many of the white man's ways. But in one respecthe clung to the custom of his fathers.He continued to be a polygamist.He was a friend and admirer of Theodore Roosevelt and on one occasion when Roosevelt was touring Oklahoma he drove out to Parker's camp to see him. With pride Parker pointed out that he lived in a houselike a white man, his children went to a 18 Dorothy Parker once collided with Clare white man'sschool,and he himselfdressedlike 'Whereupon Boothe Luce in a narrow doonvay. "Age beRoosevelt was a white man. fore beauty," said Mrs. Luce, stepping aside. moved to preachhim a sermon on the subject 'Seehere, "Pearls before swine," said Dorothy Parker, chief, why don't you set of morality. gliding through. your people a better example?A white man has {This anecdote is probably apocryphal only one wife - he's allowed only one at a but memorablenonetheless.) time. Here you arc living with five squaws. Why don't you give up four of them and remain 19 A friend was very upserat having ro get rid faithful to the fifth?' Parker stood still a mo'iHave of his cat. Dorothy Parker suggested, ment, consideringthe proposition. Then he anyou tried curiosiry?" swered, 'You are my great white father, and I 'What 20 There were two playscontaining a charac- 11 will do asyou wish on one condition.' 'You ( ir the condition?' asked Roosevelt. pick ter based on Dorothy Parker, one written by George Oppenheimer and the other by Ruth ,l' out the one I am to live with and then you go kill the other four,' answeredParker." Gordon. Dorothy Parker grumbled that she had wanted to write her autobiographybut was As' a8 now afraid to do so. "lf I did, George OppenPARR, Samuel (1,747-1825),English author, heimer and Ruth Gordon would sue me for schoolmAster,and clergyman. Parr, greAtly odplagiarism." mired as a stylist,was closelyinuolued, on either 2l Duringher lateryearsDorothyParker friendly or hostile terms, with many of the literary and political figures of his time. creasinglyfound refuge in alcohol.

to a sanatorium,she approvefuWroom but told the doctor sheworlffie ro go our every hour or so for a dg:ftY.T{e solemnlywarnedher

thatshe,^lffiH;il;;;i.

wouldbe

dead Svr6in a month. "Promises, promisesr" id with a sigh. s A$, q8

PARKER, Henry Taylor (1867-1934), US music critic, known from his initials, H. T. P., As "Hell to PayJ' I During a symphony concert Parkerhad the misfortune to be seatednear some persistent talkers. At last he rounded on the offenders: "Those people on the stageare making such a noise I can't hear a word you're saying." As, q8 PARKER, Quannah (late 18th-early 19th centuries),North American ComancheIndian chief.

I His contemporaries valued highly Parr's talents as a composer of Latin epitaphs.Once he said to a friend, "My lord, should you die first, I mean to write your epitaph." His friend replied,"lt is a temptation to commit suicide." 2 On EasterTuesdayin 1800 Parrpreacheda famous sermon before the lord mayor of London. Asked his opinion, his worship replied that he heard only four things in it that he disliked- the four quartersof the hour struck by the church clock. 3 Parr rated highly his own skill at whisr. He was correspondinglyintolerant of lack of skill in other players. One evening he was playing with a partner who committed blunder after blunder. A lady asked Parr how the game was going. "Pretty well, madamr" was the reply, "considering that I have three adversaries." &r' 48

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PASCAL

'Samuel Butler recalledwith delightthe reaction of the six-year-old daughter of an acquaintance of his, Edgar Paine, who, upon learningthat shehad acquired a little sister, exclaimed in her enthusiasm, "Does Mama know? Let's go and tell her."

- GeoffreyKeynesand Brian Hill, eds.,SamuelButler'sNotebooks - Selections

US illusPARRISH, Maxfield (1870-1'966), He also poster painter, designer. and trator, ingludiryS murals, painted outstanding seueral -one basedon the themeof Old King Coleat the St. RegisHotel in New York. I Parrish specialrzed in painting beautiful nudes and was thus accustomedto having lovelyyoungmodelsin his studio.One morning, when a model arrived,Parrishsuggested that they have a cup of coffee before gettin down to work -^ habit he had recently acquired to postpone confronting the blank Canuas.The htd hardly started to drink the coffee when the studio buzzer rang. Panic seizedthe artist. "Young ladyr" he cried, "for God's sake, take your clothes off-my wife's coming up to check on me."

Ao, 48 PARTRIDGE, John (1644-L7I5), English cobblerturnedalman1cmaker. His almanacs, thoughcompoundedof superstition,equiuocation, and charlataflr!, were nonethelessuery ally. successful commerci 1 In 1707 Jonathan Swift decided to laugh the fraudulent Partridge out of business.As "Isaac Bickerstaff" he published a spoof, Predictions for the Year 1.708."Bickerstaff" pro-fessedhis concern to rescuethe noble art of astrology fromthe hands of the quacks. In particular he would make precise predictions in place of the vaguepropheciesput-forth by the brdinary almanac makers. Thus his very first prediction: the death of John Partridge"upon 29 March next, about 1'1,at night, of a raging fever."

On the morningof March 30 the London did a brisktradein anotherpamphbooksellers let, hot off the presses, announcingthat Bickerstaff'sprediction had come true and Partridge had died the previous evening. It gave a detailed account of his deathbed,followed by an "El eW on the Death of Mr. Partridge." Partridge hurriedly printed and distributed a denial of his death, but by then no one believed him. Other writers joined in the fun with pamphletsurging Partridgeto abandon his perverseinsistencethat he was still alive.The Stationers' Company struck his name off their records. It was four years before Partridge recovered sufficiently from this onslaught to resume publication of his almanac,and by then "Isaac Bickerstaff" had become a household name. 2 One day Partridge,iourneying to a country town, paused to rest at an inn. As he was remounting his horse to resumehis journey, the ostler said, "If you take my advice you'll stay here, becauseif you go on you will certainly be overtaken by heavy rain." "Nonsense!" exclaimed Partridge,and away he rode. After he had ridden a short distance' he was drenched by a heavy shower. Interested in the ostler's accuracy of prediction, he returned to the inn, admitted that the man had beenquite correct, and offered him alargetip if he would divulge his secret. Pocketing the tip, the man said, "You see, we have an almanac in the house called Partridge's almanac, and the fellow is such a no- | tori6u, fiar thai whenever he promises fine] weather we can be sure it will rain. Now todayl 'settled weather, fine; no1\ he had put down rain,'so when I looked that up before I saddl.d'l yout horse I was able to put you on your L guard." {similar stories are told of other weather prophets and are no doubt equally apoc-

ryphal.) Ary .$ PASCAL, Blaise(1623-52),Frenchmathema' ticianandwriter on religion.Fromhis youthon, Pascaldid importantwork in mathematicsand physicsand in 1541madethe first calculating machine.In his early thirties he undenuenta profound religiousexperienceand becamea Jansenist.Someof thefruits of his meditations (L559). on religionArecontainedin hisPens6es

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I Pascal'sfather began his son's education with a course of reading in ancient languages. \7hen the nin e-year-oldPascalinquired as to the nature of geometry,he was told that it was the study of shapesand forms. The boy immediately proceeded to discover for himself the first thirty-two theorems of Euclid - in the correct order. The elder Pascalsaw that it was no use attempting to steer his son away from mathematicsand allowed him ro pursue his studiesas he wished. j i I {This srory comes from Pascal'ssisrer I l[ ""a borders on the apocryphal.] As, q8 PATER, Walter (1839-94),British writer and critic. His aestheticand philosophical theories, expounded notably in Marius the Epicurean (1885), were a maior impulse bebind the Aesthetic ("art for art's sake") mouement of the 1890s,for which he also set a standard in his highly wrought prose style. His Studies in the History of the Renaissance (1573)was also influential, as were numerous critical essayson art and poetry. I Pater taught at Oxford, where he was also a university proctor. He once askeda student, a certain Mr. Sanctu?W,to seehim after the lecture. The young man, wondering what misdemeanor he had committed, approachedpater's desk with some trepidation. Pater, however, appearedequally ill at easeand seemednor to know what to say. "You asked me to stay behind, sir?" prompted Sanctuary. "Oh, yes, Mr. Sanctu?Ar" stammered Pater. "l . . . I wanted to sayto you . . what avery beautiful name you have got." {It seems likely that this srory was a h"ppy invention by Oscar lilfilde, who first put it into circulation.) 2 Pater'slecturesat Oxford were notoriously inaudible, in fact virtually whispered. Max Beerbohm once asked \7ilde if he had heard Pater lecture and got the response:"l overheard him." 4., 48 PATTI, Adelina (1843- 1,919),Italian operatic soprano. Her coloratura singing in such rolesas Lucia in Lucia di Lammermoor and Amina in La Sonnambula was famous all ouer Europe and tbe United States.

I Patti's successfultour of Europe brought her great acclaim from all opera-goers,including royalty. "Which crowned head do you like best?" she was once asked by a critic. Patti thought for a moment. "The Czar Alexander givesthe best jewelry," she replied. A$, a8 PATTON, GeorgeS[mith],Jt. (1885-1945), US general,nicknamed "Old Blood-and-Guts." After the Normandy landings, he led tbe Allied sweep across France and into Germany at the end of World'War II . His unorthodox methods causedsome embarrassmentin military circles. I In August 1943, when Patton was commandingAmerican forcesin ltaly, he vrsrtedthe hospital at Sant'Agata. tVhile being shown around by the colonel in charg€,he spieda man who did not seem to be wounded at all. He snappedat the colonel, "l want you to get that man out of bed right away.Get him back ro rhe front. I won't have these men who really are wounded seethat man babied so." When the soldier himself did not immediately respond, Patton struck him. It turned out that he was seriouslyshell-shocked.When the incident became known three months later, there was an outcry, and Patton was forced to make a public apology. 2 On August 26r'1,944,one of Patton'sunits crossedthe Seineat Melutr, ourflanking Paris. Patton sent Eisenhower a formal military report of the operation with the posrscript: "Dear Ike, Today I spat in the Seine." {A variant of this anecdote substitutes "pissed" f.or "spat.") Ar, eB PAYNE, John Howard (179L-I8SZ),US actor and playwright. His greatestsuccesswas Brutus (1919). 1 Driven from the US stag. bI the jealousyo? other actors, P1fn9 led a wandering exisrence t in Europe for the latter part of his life. Penniless,without a lodging for the night, he would hear sung in the streets and played on barrel e organsa song to which he had written the lyric. It was "Home, SweetHome." A$ 48

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PEMBROKE

ArcPEARY, RobertEdwin(1855-1920),US tic explorer.After a numberof Arctic expeditions (1885-1905)he finolly becamethe first man to reachthe North Pole(1909).He wrote abouthis trauelsin Northward overthe "Great Ice" (1898)and The North Pole(1.910).

The classicchildren'sbook Make Way for Ducklingsby Robert McCloskeyhas a real-lifeanalogue. One of the eventsin the 1928Olympics was single-scullrowing. Henry Australia,wasin the Pearce,representing lead when a family of duckspassedin front of him singlefile. Courteouslyhe pulledin his oars. Yes,he won.

I A younglady had beenquestioningPeary for sometime on variousmattersrelatingto his polar expeditions."But how does anyone know when he hasreachedthe North Pole?" sheaskedwith a puzzledfrown. "Nothing eabier," repliedPeary."One stepbeyondthepole, you see,and the north wind becomesa south

- DavidWallechinsky, The CompleteBook of the Olympics

one.tt

PEABODY, Elizabeth(1804-94),US educator. Shewas actiuein the New EnglandTranscendentalistmouement,wrote for The Dial, and publishedtranslationsby MargaretFuller and ihreeearlyworksby NathanielHawthorne (herbrother-inJaw).ShewasthemodelforMiss Birdseyein HenryJames'sThe Bostonians. I Crossing Boston Commoo, bumped into a tree. "I saw itr" "but I did not realizeit."

6r, ".6 (I9I5PECK, Gregory ), US fil* Actor.He tougbbut romantic role in of the the specialized hero. 1 Enteringa crowdedrestaurantwith a companion,GregoryPeckfoundno tableavailable. t'Tell them who you arer" murmured the friend."If you haveto tell themwho you are, you aren'tanybodyr"saidPeck. Ar, '.t

Missn."o*l I PEMBROKE, ThomasHerbert,8th Earl of sheexplain.o, fi

Ar, 48 PEARD, John Whitehead(1311-80),Britisb country squire who becamethe follower and friend of theItalian patriot GiuseppeGaribaldi. He playeda prominentrolein the banleof Milazzo(1850). I Dumas filt, also in Garibaldi's entour"Se, gavea colorful account of Peard'sfirst meeting with the Italian leader.Peardwas introduced to Garibaldi on the field of battle, during a lull. They exchanged brief preliminary greetings. Then a movement in the Austrian lines attracted Peard'sattention. "Pardon me' there's a devil of an Austrian over there who's catching my eye." So saying,he raised his gun and fired. The group around Garibaldi trained their field glasseson the obtrusive Austrian, who staggered forward a couple of paces and then pitched face downward and l"y still. Peard nodded with satisfaction, and held out his hand to Garibaldi: "Good d^yrgeneral.I hope I seeyou well."

(1556-1733),British First Lord of the Admiralty (1690) and lord lieutenant of lreland(1707). His great-uncleWilliam Herbert, 3d Earl of Pembioke,is belieuedby someto bethe sonnets. "W. H." of Shakespeare's I Strict with his seryants' Lord Pembroke would dismisson the spot any that were found drunk. He generally turned a blind eYe,however, to the misdeedsof a trusty old footman called John. But on one occasion this proved impossible, for John had appearedin full view of his master almost too drunk to stand, and the incident had been witnessed by other membersof the household.Unperturbed, Lord Pembroke went straight up to the tottering footman, felt his pulse, and exclaimed, "God blessus, he is in a raging fever! Get him to bed directly and send for the apothe cary." The apothe cary was ordered to bleed the patient copiously and give him a strong dose of medicine every twenty-four hours, with the result that after a few daysJohn staggeredout looking weaker and paler than the most severeillnesscould have left him. "I am truly glad to see

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thee alive," cried the earl, "though you have had a wonderful escape, and ought to be thankful. Why, if I had not passedby at that time and spied the condition you were in, you would have been dead before rlow. But John," he added emphatically, "no more of these fevers!"

A* '--8 PERELMAN, S[idney]J[oseph](1904-79), US humorist and screerupriter. He wrote the scriptsfor someof theMarx Brothers'films,but is bestknown for the humorousshort stories and sketchesthat he contributedto The New Yorker from the 1930sonward.Many collections of thesepieceshauebeenpublished. I On a visit to Taipei, Perelman,accosredby a group of prostitures, had some difficulty in escapingfrom their importunities. Having at last shaken them off he headed back ro his hotel, remarkirg, "A case of the tail dogging the wag." {This complex pun has been claimed by others.) As' 4t PERICLES (c. 495-429 BC),Athenian statesman and orntor. As leader of the democratic paryy, Periclesattained supremacy in Athenian politics in 443 BC. He consolidated Athens's pos.ition abroad and beautified the city with public buildings, including the Parthenon. Despite the machinations of his enemies he wAs still gulding Athenian policy at the outbreak of the PeloponnesianWar (43L). '$far I During the Peloponnesian an eclipse occurredwhen Pericleswas about ro set out to s€a.As the pilot was too terrified to perform his duties, Periclessrepped forward and covered the man's head with his cloak. "Does this frighten you?" he asked."No," said the pilot. "Then what difference is there between the two eventsr"inquired Pericles,"except that the sun is covered by a larger object than my cloak?" Ar' 48 PERLMAN, Itzhak (1945- ), Israeli uiolinist. At the ageof thirteen he won a talent competition to appear onUS teleuision.He went on to study in New York, subsequently touring in Israel, Europe, and the United States. 1 In 1980 Mike \il7allaceinterviewed the great violinist on the television program 60

'Wallace recalledthe namesof masters Minutes. of the instrument-Jascha Heifetz, Yehudi Menuhin, IsaacStern, Perlmanhimself-and then asked why so many greatviolinists were Jewish. Holding up his fingers and twiddling them, Perlman replied: "You see, our fingers are circumcised, which gives it a very good dexterity, you know, particularly in the pinky." 6s, q8 PERON, Eva Duarte de (19"1,9-52), Argentinian actresswho becamethe secondwife of PresidentJuan Peron. Euita, ds she was known, wes idolized by the poor, whose lot she campaigned to improue. After her early death from cnncer, Peron's political strength was undermined. I.

I Eva rose from the obscurity of a poor t working-classbackground through a combination of talent, beauty, and unscrupulousness. I She had a series of increasingly influential $ loverswhom sheusedto further her careerand then discarded.As rhe wife of PresidenrJuan Per6n,shewas sent on a tour to win friends for Argentina among the European powers. Her reception was somewhat mixed. As she drove through the streetsof Milan, accompaniedby a retired admiral, the crowd shouted "\fhore." Angrily Eva turned to her escort, "They are calling me a whore!" "That's all right," said the admiral soothingly. "l haven't been to sea for fifteen years, yet they still call me admiral." {Eva'sadmirerscirculated stories,hagiographical in character, of her goodness and charity; this srory is probably an equally apocryphal fabrication of the other side.) ? I t

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Ar' 48 PEROT, H.Ross(1930- ), US computermillionaire and philanthropist. (David Frost tells this story:) "Looking around for a suitableway of serving the community, Mr. Perot decided that he would give a Chrisrmaspresentro everyAmerican prisoner-of-war in Vietnam. Accordingly, thousands of parcels were wrapped ina packed, and a fleet of Boeing 707s-waschartered to deliverthem ro Hanoi. Then the messagecamefrom the governmentof Vietnam no suchgesturecould be consideredduring the courseof the bloody war, which was then it its height. Perot argued. The Vietnamesereplied I

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that any charity was impossiblewhile American B-52s were devastatingVietnamesevillages. "'No problem,'Perot replied.He would hire an expert American constructioncompany in order to rebuild anythingthe Americanshad knockeddown. "The puzzledVietnamesebecameinscrutable, and declinedto continuethis dialogue. Christmasdrew closer,the parcelsremained Finallyin despairPerottook off in undelivered. his charteredfleetand flew to Moscow where oneat atime,at the hisaidespostedtheparcels, Moscow Centralpost office.They weredeliveredintact." 6rt ,.8 PERRY, Oliver Hazard (1785-1819)'US naualcomma.nder. I During the battle of Lake Erie in 1813' Perry's flagship, the Lawrence, was so badly damagedthat he was obliged to abandon it and row to the Niagara. After finally forcing the British fleet to surrender, Perry made no reference to the exigenciesof the battle in the dispatch announcing his victory. It read simply, "'We have met the enemy, and they are ours." {Perry's words are memorable, but have become immortal through the parody on them by Walt Kelly's inimitable cartoon character, Pogo: "'We have met the enemy and he is us.") A.' 48 PERUGINO, Pietro [Pietro di Cristoforo Vannuccil (1445-1,523),Italian painter, born near Perugia. He was among the artists employed to paint the frescoes of the Sistine Chapel. Raphael, one of his pupils, was influenced by his graceful and balanced style. I Perugino was commissioned to paint frescoes(now lost) in a convent in Florence.The niggardly prior stood over the artist while he worked, holding the little b"g that contained the expensiveultramarine pigment and allowing Perugino only tiny quantities at a time. Every now and then he would wail, "How much blue that wall is eating!" Perugino said nothing, but worked steadily, occasionally cleaninghis brush in a bowl of water. When he had completed his day's work, he drained the bowl and handed it back to the prior with its

sedimentof pure ultramarineat the bottom. "Here you arerFather. And pleaselearnto trust an honestman." 2 On his deathbed,Peruginorefusedto send for the priest.His lastwords were:"I am curiousto seewhat happensin the next world to one who diesunshriven." 0r, ..6 PETAIN, [Henri] Philippe (1855-1951), Frenchgeneraland statesman.The heroof the Frenchdefenseof Verdun (191,5),he became primeministerin 1940,iust beforetbedefeatby Germany.He signeda pactuith Hitler allowing him to establisha gouernmentat Vichy for unoccupiedFrance.At the end of the war Phtain wls condemnedto deathas a traitor, but the wAscommutedto life imprisonment. sentence I From Februaryto December1916,one of the fiercestbattlesof \7orld War I wasfought at Verdun-sur-Meusein northeast France. MarshalP6tainwasin commandof the Allied troops;Crown PrinceFrederickWilliam commandedthe Germans.At the beginningof the battlea determinedP6tainsaidof thb Germantroops,"They shallnot pass."The resolution was upheld and the Allies ultimately triumphed,but only afteronemillion liveshad beenlost. 2 In June1'940Charlesde Gaullereturnedto Francefrom Englandto bring MarshalP€tain an offer from \Tinston Churchill of "union" betweenthe two countriesto resistthe German onslaught.P6tain,knowing that France's capitulationwasonly hours awayandbelieving thit Englandwas doomed too' reiectedthe offer, saying, "'What use is fusion with a corpse?" 4., ..S PETER I [Peter the GreatJ$672-1725), czar (1582-1721) and later emperor (1721-25) of Russia. During the 1590s Peter traueled in Europe and, influenced by the ideas be encountered there, tried to modernize his backward, feudal state by reforming the gouernment and affny and encouraging trade and industry. He also extended Russian territory to the west and southelst. I In the Russianarmy there was a secretsociety whose membersgained promotion by their

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ability to withstand torture and who practiced inuring themselvesagainstgreater and greater degreesof pain. One of these officerswas involved in a plot against Peter, and although tortured four times refused to confess.Peter, realizingthat pain would not break him, went up to him and kissedhim. "l know full vrell that you were party to the plot againstffi€, but you have been punished enough. Now, confess freelyto me on account of the love you owe to your czar) and I swear that I will grant you a completepardon. Not only that, but as a special sign of my mercy I will make you a colonel." The man was so unnervedby Peter'stactics that he embraced him and made a full confession.Peter kept his side of the bargain and made him a colonel. 2 Peter,greatly interestedin medicine, often assistedsurgeonsand dentists in their operations. One morning one of his valetsappealed to the czar to help his wife; she was suffering dreadfully from a toothache, he said, but refused to have the offending tooth pulled and pretended to be in no pain when approached by ^ dentist. Peter collected his dental instrumentsand followed the valet to his apartmenrs, where, ignoring the cries and protesrs of the struggling woman, h. extracted the tooth. Some days later the czar discovered that the poor woman had never had a toothache; the painful extraction had been her husband'srevengefor a domestic quarrel. As, qt PETERBOROUGH, CharlesMordaunt, 3d EarJ of (1658-r73s), Britisb diplomat, soldier, and admiral. I In 1710, when the Duke of Marlborough was out of favor with the London populace,a mob attacked Peterboroughin the srreer,mistaking him for the hated and ungenerousduke. He finally convinced them that he was nor Marlborough by saying, "In the first place, I have only five guineasin my pocket; and in the second,they are very much at your service." 6s' q8 PETRONIUS, Gaius ["Petronius Arbiter"] (fl. eo 60),Roman writer, a fauorite at tlte court of Emperor Nero. He is belieued to baue been the autbor of the Satyricon)A satirical romance.

1 Petronius had received an invitation to a specialbanquetat Nero's palace.The meal was to be followed by r "licentious entertainment" featuring a hundred naked virgins. Petronius refused the invitation. "Tell the emperor," he instructed his messeng€r,"that one hundred 'naked virgins are not one hundred times as exciting as one naked virgin." A.- q8 PHELPS, William Lyon (1855-1943), US scholar and critic. He taugbt English literature at Yale for forty-one years,holding a chair from 1901until his retirementin 1.933. \. Marking an examination paper written il shortly before Christmas, Phelpscame across { il the note: "God only knows the answer to this I question. Merry Christmas." Phelpsreturned i the paperwith the annotation:"God gersan A. get an F. Happy New Year." \You A* e8 PHILIP, Prince, Duke of Edinburgh (1921- ), husband of Queen Elizabeth II of tbe United Kingdom. I During a tour of Can ada in the early years of their marriage,Prince Philip and Princess Elizabeth had a rather turbulent crossing ro Vancouver Island on a Canadian destroyer. Tea was served in the royal suite by r young petty officer.As he enteredwith a large tray of cakes,the ship lurched violenrly and the cakes were thrown to the floor. To the officer's amazement,Prince Philip immediately wenr down on his hands and knees and crawled around the floor, rerrievingabout half of the cakes.Returning to his seat,he smiled triumphantly at Elizabethand said,"l've gor mine yours are down there." 2 Visiting an Ansrralian university during a royal tour in 1,954,Prince Philip was introduced to a "Mr. and Dr. Robinson." "My wife is a doctor of philosophy," explained Mr. Robinson. "She is much more important than I." "Ah, yes," repliedPrincePhilip sympathetically. "'We havethat trouble in our family, too." 3 Prince Philip was asked by ^ hostile questioner what kind of work he would saythat he did. "l'm self-employed,"he replied.

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4 An official greetedPrince Philip as he steppedfrom an aircraftwith the words:"And how wasyour flight, sir?" "Have you everflown?"askedthe prince. "Yes,sir, often." "'Well,it waslike that." {Royalty must become very bored with both air travel and banal conversation,so it would be pleasant to think that this exchangeactually happened.) 5 During a royal visit to a small English town, Prince Philip stopped to talk to two very old ladies."I'ml tt"nared and fourr" boastedone of the women, "and my friend here is a hundred and one." "I don't believe it," said Philip, his eyes twinkling. "Ladies always take ten years off their age." i 6 Speakingat a meeting of manufacturers of man-madefibers,Philip questionedhis right to be there. "I'm not very good at producing | man-madefibers myselfr" he confessed,stroking his balding head.

A.' q8 PHILIP II (382-336 BC),king of Macedon and diplomacy (359-335 BC).His conquests raisedMacedonto thestatusof a maiorpower. After the Banleof Chaeronea(338)the hegemony of Greecepassedto Philip. He wLs assassinatedin a family plot,leauinghis throneto his son,Alexanderthe Great. 1 Like Alexander the Great, Philip had the reputation of being a heavy drinker. Once when drunk he gave an uniust verdict in the case of a woman who was being tried before him. "I appeal!" cried the unfortunate litigant. "To whom?" askedthe monarch,who was also the highest tribunal in the land. "From Philip drunk to Philip sober," was the bold reply. The king, somewhat taken back, gave the casefurther consideration. 2 After Philip had subdued or formed alliances with all the major Greek city-states, Spartastill remained aloof. Finding that diplomacy had no effect on its stubborn independence,Philip sent a threat: "You are advisedto submit without further delay,for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city." The

replied:"lf ." RecallingSparta's gloriSpartans ousmilitarypast,Philipthoughtbetterof it and left themalone. 3 Philip was alwaysaccompaniedby two menf whose duty it was to sayto him eachmorning{ "Philip, remember that you are but a man.'f Each evening they said, "Philip, have you re{ membered that you are but a man?" I As, e8 PHILIP III (1578- L62I), king of Spain(159851). I Politically indecisiveand incompetent,Philip is said to have died of a fevet. This was the consequenceof overheatinghimself by sitting too long near a hot brazier. It did not occur to him to mov e away from the heat. How could he?The palacefunctionary whose iob it was to removethe braziercould not be found. Philip's death was inevitable. 6c, ..8 PHILIP V (1683-1746),king of Spain (170045).The grandson of Louis XIV of France,Philip becameking under the will of Charles ll of Spain. I Louis XIV hesitatedfor nearly a week after receivingnewsof the death of CharlesII and his bequest to Philip. He wondered whether to accept the legacy. On November 15, 1700, he made the formal announcement, after his Ieuer,to the assembledcourt. "Gentlemenr" he said,leadingPhilip fonvard, "here is the king of Spain." He then made a brief but touching speech,exhorting his grandson to be a good Spaniardand keep the peacein Europe. Overcome with emotion, the Spanishambassador fell on his knees before Philip and kissed his hand and said, "The Pyreneeshave ceasedto exist." {Voltaire attributes the famous remark about the Pyreneesto Louis himself.)

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A+ 48 PHILIP, John Woodward (1840-1900), US naual commander. 1 During the Spanish-American\ilVarof 1898 Captain Philip was in command of the battleship Texls.The entire Spanishfleet,blockaded by the Americans in the bty of Santiago de

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Cuba, was destroyedwhen it emergedon July 3. As the Texassailedpast the burning Spanishcruiser V izcayain pursuitof another Spanish ship,Philipcheckedthe naturaliubilation of his crewwith the words:"Don't cheer, boys;the poor devilsaredying." Ac, q8 f

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PHILLIPS, Wendell(1811,-84), US reformer and orator.He trainedasa lawyer,but deuoted much of his life to tbe campaignsfor the abolition of slau€r!,women'ssuffrage,and uarious other reforms. I In the days before he becamewell known, Phillips spent a night in a hotel at Charlesron, South Carolina. His breakfastwas broughr up by slave,to whom Phillips beganto expound his"abolitionist ideals. After a rime, realizing that his discoursewas making little impression, Phillips gaveup and told him he could go. The man stood firm. "You must excuse mer" he said. "I am obliged to stay here, ocauseI'm responsiblefor the silvenvare." 2 While rilTendellPhillips was on a lecture tour in the northern states,he was accostedby a minister from Kentucky who aftacked him for his abolitionist views. "You want to free the slaves,don't you?" demandedthe minister. "lndeed I do." "Then why are you preachingyour doctrines up here? \7hy don'r you try going ro Ken-

tucky?" Phillipsretorted,"You're a minister,aren't you?" ttYes,

I am.tt

"And you try to savesoulsfrom hell?" "Yes,I do." "'Well,why don't you go therethen?"said Phillips. 6r, ".6 PIATIGORSKY, Gregor(1903-76), Russian cellist.Appointedprincipalcellistof theBolshoi TheatreOrchestrain 1919,he emigratedto the UnitedStatesin 1921,wherehe wasacclaimed the leadingcellistof his generation. I Piatigorskywas having problems with one of his pupils. No matter how many times the master played a piece to show how it should sound, his student failed to make any significant progress; in fact, his playing seemed ro

deteriorate. It occurred to Piatigorsky that he was perhaps discouragingthe young man by performing the pieces too well himself. He therefore began to introduce a few deliberate mistakes; miraculously, the pupil showed marked signsof improvement.Thi; method of teachingcontinued for someweeks,with Piatigorsky taking a perversepleasurein being free to play as badly as he pleased. The young man went on to perform with brilliant successat his graduation. Fighting through the crowd of well-wishersto congrarulate his pupil, Piatigorskyheard someoneask the new graduatewhat he thought of the grear cellist. "As a teachetr" replied the young man, 'excellent. But as a cellist,lousy."

Ar, e8 PICABIA, Francis (L879-L953), French painterof Spanishdescent, oneof thefirst exponentsof Dadaism.Picabiawas also a writer, muchof his work appearingin his own iournal -24). 3e1(1e17 I In Picabia'schdteau the rooms were designed with different themes; the children's room was furnished with grotesquemasks,instruments of torture, witch craft trappings,and a mechanicalghost that could be animated at night to rattle chains. The painter chose this theme for the children'sroom becausehe believed in training them in fearlessness from an early age. "'When they get a bit older, I shall replace the ghost with a creditor waving an unpaid bill," he said.

As, 4 PICASSO,Pablo(1881-1973), Spanishartist, sculptor,andceramist.After 1900heworkedin Paris,achieuingsuccesswith picturesof stage and streetlife in blue(theso-calledBluePeriid; 1901-04)and rose(1905-08).In collaboration witb GeorgesBraque,he deuelopedCubism, one_ of the most influentialof modernpainting styles,and later turned to surrealisticfiSrrit studies.Guernica(1937),his hugeand coitrouersialmasterpiece, showsthedestractionof the Basquecapital by Germanplanesduring the SpanishCiuil War. Picassoalsopaintedsome striking portraits in uariousstyles. recallshis mother's ambitions for ft (Picasso Ihim.)

I "when I was a child, ffiy mother said to me,

45L 'lf you becomea soldier,you'll bea general.If \ you becomea monk, you'll end up as Pope.'I InsteadI becamea painterand wound up as I Picasso." 2 In 1906 Gertrude Stein sat to Picassofor her portrait. At the end of many sittings he simply obliterated the picture, sayinghe could no longer "see" her. Later he completed the picture, in the absenceof a sitter, and gavethe portrait to Miss Stein.Shecomplainedthat she did not look like that. Picassosaid, "But you will," and this prediction was borne out as Miss Stein aged. 3 When Picassopainted his famous portrait of Gertrude Stein, he was virtually unknown. Some years later the millionaire art collector Dr. Albert Barnes, interested in the picture, asked Miss Stein straight out how much she had paid for it. "Nothing," Miss Stein replied. "Naturally, he gave it to me." Dr. Barneswas incredulous. She subsequentlyrecounted the incident to Picasso,who smiled and said, "He doesn't understand that at that time the difference between a saleand a glft was negligible." 4 Not long after the outbreak of \7orld \Var I Gertrude Steinand Picassowere standing on a street corner in Paris,watching a procession of camouflagedtrucks passing,the sidesof the vans disguised by blotches of gray and greenpaint. Picasso,in his amazement,blurted out, "C'est nous qui at)onsfait ca" (It is we who have created that). 'War II Picasso suffered 5 During rilTorld some harassment from the Gestapo in Nazioccupied Paris. An inquisitive German officer, coming into his apartment, noticed a photograph of Guernicalying on a table. "Did you do that?" he asked Picasso."No, you didr" said Picasso. 6 Picasso fell into conversation with an American GI in Paris,who told him that he did not like modern paintings becausethey were not realistic. Picassodid not immediately respond, but when the soldiera few minutes later showed him a snapshot of his girlfriend, he exclaimed, "My, is she really as small as that?"

pictureswere 7 After World War II Picasso's changinghandsfor fabuloussums.An Amerivisitedthe artist'sstudio.She canmillionairess

PICASSO

pausedin front of a strikingexampleof his late style."'Whatdoesthis picturerepresent?" she asked."Two hundredthousanddollarsr"answeredPicasso. 8 As the market value of Picasso'sworks grew, so too did the cottage industry of faking his paintings. A poor artist who owned a supposed Picassosent it via a friend for the master to authenticateso that he could sell it. Picasso said, "It's false." From a different source the friend brought another Picasso and then a third. On each occasion Picasso disowned them. Apropos the third painting the man protested, "But I saw you paint this one with my own eyes.tt "l can paint falsePicassosaswell asanyoo€r" retorted Picasso. Then he bought the first painting from the impoverishedaftist for a sum iout times as high aJ the owner had originally hoped it would fetch. 9 Friends lunching at Picasso'shome in the south of France commented on the fact that their host had none of his own pictures on the walls. "Why is that, Pablo?"one of them asked. "Don't you like them?" "On the contratyr" replied the painter, "I like them very much. It's iust that I can't afford them."

to 10 Picassovisitedhis local cabinetmaker commissiona mahoganywardrobefor his chihe teau.To illustratethe shapeanddimensions required,he drew a hastysketchon a sheetof paperand handedit to the craftsman."How muchwill it cost?"he asked."Nothing at all," replied the cabinetmaker.'Just sign the sketch." 11 Picasso was relaxing on a beach in the south of France when he was accosted by small boy clutching a blank sheetof paper. The" child had evidently been dispatched by his parents to solicit an autographed drawing. After a moment's hesitation, Picassotore up the paper and drew a few designson the boy's back instead. He signed his name with a flourish and sent the child back to his parents. Relating the incident at a later date, Picasso remarked thoughtfully, "I wonder if they'll ever wash him again?" 12 Picassowas asked whether it didn't tire him to stand in front of a canvasfor three or

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four hours while he was painting. "No," he replied. "That is why painters live so long. \7hile I work, I leave my body outside the door, the way Muslims take off their shoes before entering the mosque." 13 A visitor to Picasso'sstudio found the afiist gazing disconsolatelyat a painting on the easel. "lt's a masterpiecer" said the visitor, hoping to cheer Picassoup. "No, the noseis all wroogr" Picassosaid."It throws the whole picture out of perspective." "Then why not alter the nose?" "Impossibler" replied Picasso."l can't find it." {Probably an apocryphal story.} 14 A rich Dutch grocer who prided himself on his art collection managedto obtain an introduction to Picasso.He examinedthe works in the studio and then said, "Master, I understand every one of your productions except one.tt

"And that is?" "Your dove. It seemsto me so simple, so primitive that I cannot understandit." "Sir," Picassoasked, "do you understand Chinese?"

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handle-barand the seatof a bicycle,lying in i suchawayasto look likea bull'shead.I picked ithemup andput themtogethersothatnobody j could possiblyfail to realrzethat this seatand I this handle-barfrom a bikewerereallya bull's head. My metamorphosiswas successful,and now I wish there could be another one, this time in reverse.Supposethat one daymy head of a bull were to be thrown on a junk heap. Maybe a little boy would come along and no'Now there's sometice it and say to himself, thing I could useasa handle-barfor my bike.' If that ever happens,we will have brought off a double metamorphosis." 17 (David Douglas Duncan describesa conversation during a meal at Picasso'shouse.) o'During the meal I mentioned that it seemed really eerie to me to watch his gazeleap from article to article on the table and around the room, knowing perfectlywell he was not seeing anythingasI saw it, and neverhad. I added that it seemed incredible that one person ever dreamed of such varied imagesthroughout a lifetime and could still be doing it today without apparently even trying. Picassoanswered very simply,'If I tried, they would all look the same.t

t'

ttNo.tt

"Six hundredmillion peopledo." And Picassopolitelyshowedhim out.

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15 (The one-time surrealist Robert Desnos recounts a story that Picassotold him.) "l had lunched at the Catalan for months," Picassosaid, "and for months I looked at the sideboard without thinking more than 'ir's a sideboard.'One d^y I decideto make a picture of it. I do so. The next d^yrwhen I arrived, the sideboardhad gone,its placewas empty. . . I must have taken it away without noricing by painting it." (Desnos comments on this anecdote, saying that it is like a fable illustrating Picasso'srelationshipto his subjects,that what he paints he takespossessionof "as himself the creator of the object or of the being.") 16 (Picassotold the following story to Andre \il7arnod.) "Do you rememberthat head of a bull I had in my last show? I'll tell you how it was conceived. One d^y I noticed in a corner the

18 (Ronald Penrose, Picasso's biographer, recalls a visit to the artist in his Paris apartment.) o'l happened to notice that a large Renoir hanging over the fireplace was crooked. 'lt's better like that,' [Picasso]said, 'if you wanr ro kill a picture all you have to do is to hang it beautifully on a nail and soon you will see nothing of it but the frame. \fhen it's out of place you seeit better."'

19 In laterlife Picasso visitedanexhibitionof children'sdrawings.He obseroed,"When I wastheir age,lcoulddrawlike Raphael,but it took mea lifetimeto learnto drawlike them." Ao, ..6 PICCARD, Auguste (1884-1952),Swiss physicist.In 1931and 1932he madeballoon ascentsinto thestratosphere in orderto inuestigatecosmicraysand otherphenomena. Auguste and his twin brother, Jean Felix, It / had spent the night in a strangetown and were I both in need of a shave. Entering the local

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barber'sshopalone,Augustesettleddown in the chair and said,"Make sureyou giveme a closeshave.My beardgrows so rapidly that two hours after I've had a shave,I need another." The barberlookedat him in disbelief. "If your beardgrows in two hoursr" he said skeptically,"I'll giveyou anothershavefree." Augusteleft the shop in due course,cleanshavenand apparentlysatisfied.Two hours later, the barberwas horrifiedto seehis customerreturnwith a dark growth of stubbleon hischin."Now do you believeme?"askedJean Felix ashe sat down for his free shave.

4., ..6 PICON, Molly (1898- ),Yiddish-American actress. 1 On tour with a theater company, Miss Picon overheardsomeof her fellow performers discussingtheir rather inadequate accommodations. "I never complain about such things - my grandmother brought up elevenchildren in four roomsr" she remarked, breaking into the conversation. "How did she manage?" asked one of the other actresses."Easyr" re-

plied Molly. "Shetook in boarders." 4., ..6 US operasinger, PINZA, Ezio (1,892-1957), born in ltaly. A uersatileperformer,he alsoappearedin musicalcomediesand A numberof films. 1 Soon after opening in the Broadway production of South Pacific, Pinza called at his favorite restaurant for his customary twelvecourse dinner. Noticing the look of astonishment on the waiter's face as he took the order, Pinza snapped,"'$7hat's the matter with you? I may be singing musical comedy these daysbut I still eat grand ope ra!"

Ar, '.8 PITT, William (1759-1805),British statesman; prime minister(1783-1801,1,804-05), known as Villiam Pin tbe Youngerto distinguisbbim from his father,theEarl of Chatham. Pitt wls the youngestBritish prime ministerin history.At homehewaschieflyconcerrred with reorganizingthe economy,but he also faced crisesouertheadministrationof India and lreland. He spearheaded the diplomaticoffensiue

againstreuolutionaryFrance,and from 1793, againstNapoleon. I A numberof volunteersin London offered Pitt theirservices asmilitia.Althoughtheywere preparedto organize andequipthemselves, the offerwashedgedaboutwith a numberof provisosthat substantially reducedits usefulness. Pitt read through their proposal until he reacheda clausestatingthat theyshouldnever berequiredto leavethe kingdom.At this point he pickedup a pen and addedin the margin, "exceptin the caseof actualinvasion." 2 Pitt had been urging Parliament to approve the immediate dispatch of the British fleet againstthe French. In order to securethe necessaryappropriation, he had to persuadeLord Newcastle, the chancellor of the exchequer, who opposed his policy. Pitt called on the chancellor to pursue the question and found him in bed, sufferingfrom gout. It was autumn, the room was unheated, and Pitt remarked how cold it was. Newcastle ironically replied that the weather would hinder any fleet movements and indeed hinder any comfortable discussionof the point at issue.Pitt answeredthat he did not so lightly relinquishhis plans.Then, askingpardon, h. removed his boots, climbed into the room's other bed, drew up the cover, and began a unique conference. He won his point. 3 Napoleon's victory at Austerlitz in December 1805 left him master of Europe and spelled the end of Pitt's alliance against him 'S7hen with Sweden, Austria, and Russia. the news of the battle was brought to Pitt, he pointed to a large map of Europe on the wall and said, "Roll up that map; it will not be wanted these ten years." 4 Pitt died in office, worn out by overwork and crushed by the overthrow of his coalition against Napoleon. Desperately aware of the dangerousebb of England's fortunes, he murmured ashe died, "My country, oh, how I leave my country!" {Another version is: "My country, oh, how I love my country!" Alternative last words attributed to Pitt are the far more touching "I think I could eat one of Bellamy's-vealpies.") Aro ..6

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"Alferd Packer ate five prospectors whom he was guiding over a high Colorado plateauin 1874. "The judge who sentencedPacker to 'There hang indignantly pointed out that was only six Democratsin all of Hinsdale County and you ate five of them."' -John Train, T rue Remarkable Occurrences (Train notes: "The Department of Agriculture startled the official community by dedicating the cafeteria in its Washington building to Alferd Packer '1.977. in The General ServicesAdministration then removed the dedicatory plaque, accusing the Department of Agriculture of 'bad taste."')

PLATO (c. 428-c.348 BC),Greekphilosopher, who founded the Academy at Athens. His writings include The Apology, Phaedo, and The Republic. Tbe great British thinker A. N. Whitehead once commented that all Western philosophy consistsof footnotes to Plato. I A student, strugglingwith the abstractconcepts of Platonic mathematics, asked Plato, "What practical end do thesetheorems senre? What is to be gainedfrom them?" Plato turned to his attendant slave and said, "Give this young man an obol [a small coin] that he may feel that he has gained something from my teachings,and then expel him." 2 Plato consideredthe abstractspeculations of pure mathematicsto be the highestform of thought of which the human mind was capable. He therefore had written over the entranceto the Academy "Let no one ignorant of mathematics enter here."

I I

I

3 Diogenescame to Plato's house one d^y and was disgusted to find rich and exquisite carpetson the floor. To show his contempt he stampedand wiped his feet upon them, saying, "Thus do I trample upon the pride of Plato." "With greaterpride," observedPlato mildly. As, qE

PLINY [Pliny the Younger] (c. 6t-c. 133), Roman orator, statesmnn,and lawyer. His letters couer a wide rangeof subiects,from offi.cial correspondencewhen he was a prouincial gouernor to ghost stories and descriptions of boar hunts. I At dinner Pliny noticed that his host distributed the food and wine according to the social standing of the diners.Rich and elegant dishesand the bestwine were senredto himself and his most honored guests,while cheapand paltry food and drink were set before the rest. Another guest, sensingPliny's disapproval of theseparsimoniousmeasures,inquired how he managedin his own home. Pliny answered,"l provide eachguestwith the same farerfor when I invite a man to my table I haveplacedhim on a footing of equalitywith me and I will therefore treat him as an equal." The other man was surprised."Even freedmen?"he asked."Even freedm€D," replied Pliny, "because on these occasionsI regardthem as companions,not as freedmen."The other remarkedthat this must run Pliny into a greatdeal of expense."Not at all," said Pliny, "for my freedmendon't drink the same wine as I do, but / drink what they do.tt

As' 48 PLOMER, William (1903-73),SouthAfrican poet and nouelist. He published Collected Poems in 1960, wrote libretti fo, Beniamin Britten's operas,and produced some memortble sbort stories. I In Birmingham for the first time William Plomer was enthralledby the namesof destinations written on the front of buses.As he and Walter Allen waited at a bus stop, he recited the namesaloud. Eventuallya number 12A appeared, with the legend: "'\il7ORLD'S END VIA LAKEY LANE," "Pure Auden," said Plomer. As, q8 PLOTINUS (205-270), Greek philosopher. He settled and taught in Rome, wbere he founded the Neoplatonic school of philosophy. His teaching emphasizedtlte reality of a transcendent"One" And the unreality of the material world. I A friend urged Plotinus to havehis portrait painted. The philosopher refused: "It is bad

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enoughto be condemnedto dragaroundthis imagein whichnaturehasimprisonedme.\U7hy should I consentto the perperuationof the imageof this image?" 6e, 48 POE, EdgarAllan (1809-49),USpoet,shortstory writer, and literary critic. He is best rememberedfo, his masterly horror stories, containedin Talesof the Grotesqueand Arapoems,suchas besque(1840),and melancholy The Raven(1845). I An old literaryand militarytradition hasit that Poewasexpelledfrom WestPointin L831 for "gross neglectof duty" becausehe appearednakedat a publicparade.Paradedress instructionscalledfor "white beltsandgloves, under arms." Poe took this literallyand appearedwith rifle overhis bareshoulder,wearing belt and gloves- and nothingelse. A'' ''8 POGGIO BRACCIOLINI, Gian Francesco (1380-1459),ltalian bumanist scholar and writer. He distinguishedhimselfin all fieldsof today for literature,but is chieflyremembered his rediscoueryof manuscriptsof classicalautbors belieuedlost. post in the papal I As holderof a secretarial Curia, Poggio wore ecclesiasticaldress althoughhewasneverformallyordaineda priest. A cardinalreprimandedhim for havingchildren, which did not becomea man wearing garb,and for havinga mistress, ecclesiastical evento a layman.Pogwhichwasunbecoming gio retorted,"l havechildren,whichis suitable for a layman,and I havea mistress,which is a time-honoredcustomof the clergy." Ary '.8 Poisson, POMPA DOUR, Jeanne-Antoinette Marquised'Etoiles(1721-64),Frenchlady of the court;mistressof Louis XV. Mme de Pompadourplayedan importantpart in determining tlte courseof Frenchpolitics in the 1750sand earlyL750s. 1 (Mme de Pompadour enjoyed surrounding \ herself with intellectuals and supported the 1 againstthe church. Despite her I Encyclopddiste.s efforts, dt one time the religious and antira- I tionalist factions in the court persuadedLouis I to ban the Encyclop1die.Soon after this a duke I

wonderedaloud at a royal supperparrywhat gunpowderwasmadeof.) "'lt seemsso funny that we spendour time killing partridg€s,and being killed ourselveson the frontier, and really we have no idea how it happens.'Madame de Pompadour, seeingher opportunity, quickly went on: 'Yes, and face powder? What is that made of ? Now, if you had not confiscated the Encyclop1die,Sire, we could have found out in a moment.' The King sent to his library f or a copy, and presently a footman staggeredin under the heavyvolumesl the party was kept amused for the rest of the eveninglooking up gunpowder, rouge, and so on. After this subscriberswere allowed to have their copies, though it was still not on sale in the bookshops."

2 As shelay dying,Madamede Pompadour summonedherlaststrengthandcalledto God, "'Wait a second,"as she dabbedher cheeks with rouge. Al, ..6 lst Baron POOLE, Oliver Brian Sanderson, Pooleof Aldg te, (1,911- ), Britishbusinessman. An actiue memberof the Conseruatiue party, he euentuallybecamechairman(195557),andhasbeena gouernorof theOldVic and a trusteeof the National Gallery. I Duringthe I970sa greatmanyof the flashwent under. Their ier British entrepreneurs had beenin part ascribable temporarysuccess to the extensiveloans freely made to them, often by quite conseffativebanks.The mer6cCo.,however,had chantbankLazardFrdres not committedthis error.Lord Cowdray,then chairmanof the family businessthat owned LazardFrBres,once askedLord Poole,then to chairmanof the firm, how he had managed avoidmakingsuchloans.Poolereplied:"Quite simple:I only lent moneyto peoplewho had beento Eton." A'' 48 POPE, Alexander(1588-1,744), Englisbpoet, satirist,and translator.Crippledby illnessat the ageof twelue,hesoongaueproof of his extraordinary talentsin his Pastorals(1709),written whenhe was only sixteen.His Essayon Criticism (1711)ensuredhis entr1eto tlte London literary world, whicb he dominatedfor nearly thirty yenrs. He perfectedthe English heroic

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coupletas a satiricalmedium in The Rapeof uersion1714)andthe the Lock (1712;enlarged "Epistleto Dr. Arbuthnot" (1735).The Dunciad,his satireon contemporarywriters,came out in threeuersions(1728,1.729,1743).Pope alsotranslatedHomer'sIliad (1720)and Odyssey(1725-25),and publishedthephilosophical poemsAn Essayon Man (1733-34)andMoral (1731.-35). Essays I Statesmanand financier CharlesMontagu, first Earl of Halifax, prided himself upon his literary acumen. When Pope had completed the first few books of his translation of the Iliad, Montagu invited him to give a reading at his house. Other eminent literary figuresalso attended.Popeconsideredthat the readinghad gone off very well, even though Lord Halifax had interrupted, most politely, four or five times to say that there was something about that particular passagehe did not think quite righr and that Pope could improve it with some more thought. On the way home with physician and poet Samuel Garth, Pope confessed that he was much perplexed by Lord Halifax's rather vagueobjections.He went on to saythat although he had been thinking about the offending passagesever since, he could not for the life of him seewhat should be done to make them more acceptable to his lordship. Dr. Garth reassured him; he knew Lord Halifax very well, he said, and all Pope needed to do was to leave the passagesas they were, wait a couple of months, and then go back to Lord Halifax, thank him for his kind criticisffis, and read him the "corrected" passages.In due course Pope had another sessionwith Lord Halifax, reading him the passagesexactly as they had been.His lordship was delighted,and congratulated Pope on getting them absolutely right.

2 Pope'stranslationsof Homer's lliad and Odysseyoffendedthe classical scholarRichard Bentley.Of Pope'slliad he said,"lt is a pretty poem, Mr. Pope, but you must not call it Homer.tt {Modern critics tend to agree with Bentley.) 3 Pope's father was a linen-draper, and, although his family was respectable,it was by no means aristocratic. George II, alert to social distinctions,advisedLord Hewey, "You ought

'tis not to write verses, beneathyour rank; leave such work to little Mr. Pope; it is his trade." 4 \fhen Pope was lying on his deathbed,the doctor assuredhim that his breathingwas easier, his pulse steadier, and various other encouraging things. "Here am Ir" commented Pope to a friend, "dying of a hundred good symptoms." Ar, '.8 POPE, Arthur Upham (1881,-L969),US eccentric millionaire and authority on the art and archaeology of Iran (in his doy Persia) and neighboring Arab cultures. I Pope was single-mindedin his intellectual interests.In 1943 he agreedto deliver the annual Lincoln's Day addressat Cooper Union, New York, where Lincoln had once made an epochal speech.According to a New Yorker magazineaccount he spoke for about an hour and a half on his favorite topic, Middle Eastern cultures.At the very end, recallinghis assigned subject,he dischargedhis obligation by stating: "Lincoln knew no Arabs, but he would have enjoyed meeting them, and they would have recognrzedhim as a great sheik." Ar, q8 PORSON, Richard (1759-1,808), British classical scholar renowned for his knowledgeof ancient Greek and his editions of the plays of Euripides. Many stories are told of his drinking bouts. I Porson had an outstanding memory, first revealedduring his schooldaysat Eton. A classmate, as a practical joke, had borrowed his copy of Horace's Odes, artfully replacing it with a different text. As the Latin lessonbegan, Porson was asked to read and translate one of the odes.This he did without faltering, but the master, noticing that the boy appearedto be readingfrom the wrong side of the page,asked which edition he was using. Porson sheepishly handed the book to his master, who was amazed to find that he had just recited the Latin ode from memory while looking at an English version of Ovid. I Z Porson was once traveling in a stagecoach I with a young Oxford srudent who, in an atI tempt to impress the ladies present, let slip a

457 Greek quotation which he said was from Sophocles. The professor was not taken in by the young man's bluff and, pulling a pocket edition of Sophoclesfrom the folds of his coar, challengedhim to find the passagein quesrion.Undeterred, the student said that he had made a mistake and that the quotation was in fact from Euripides. To the great amusement of the young ladies,Porson immediately produced a copy of Euripides from his pocket and issued the samechallenge.In a last desperateattempt to savef.ace,the young man announced with conviction that the passagewas, of course, from Aeschylus.However, on seeingthe inevitable copy of Aeschylusemergefrom Porson's pocket, he finally admitted defeat. "Coachman!" he cried. "Let me out! There's a fellow here has the whole Bodleian Library in his pocket." 3 Porson arrived unexpectedly to stay with the portrait-painter John Hoppner. Hoppner told him he could not offer much in the way of hospitality as Mrs. Hoppner was away and had taken with her the kry to the wine closet.In the course of the eveningPorson becameincreasingly restless,declared that he was sure Mrs. Hoppner would keep some wine for her own private enjoyment hidden somewhere in her that he might be allowed bedroom, and asked 'Sfith some irritation Hoppner to searchfor it. agreed,and was greatly chagrinedwhen Porson returned from his searchclutching a bottle and pronouncing it to be the bestgin he had tasted for a long time. rUfhenMrs. Hoppner returned, her husband iather angrily told her that Porson had found and consumed her hidden drink. "Good heavens,"shecried, "that was spirit of wine for the lamp!" (This is just one of a number of stories that confirm the observation that Porson would "drink ink rather than not drink at all.") 4 Porson was once asked for his opinion of I the poetical works of his younger contempo- [ rary Robert Southey. "Your works will be I read," he told him, "after Shakespeareand I -l Milton are forgotten - and not till then." 5 A junior scholar once rashly suggestedto Porson that they could collaborate. Porson applauded the notion: "Put in all I know and all

PREVIN

you don't know, and it will make a grear work.tt 6 SamuelRogers,the poet and man of letters, invited Porson to dinner. "Thank you, ro," was the reply, "I dined yesterday." 7 On a walk together, Porson and a Trinitarian friend were discussing the nature of the Trinity. A buggypassedthem with three men in it. "Therer" said the friend, "that's an illus tration of the Trinity." "Nor" said Porson, "you must show me one man in three buggies- if you can." 6''

48

POUSSIN, Nicolas (1594-L665), French classical painter who lpent most of his working life in Rome. His mature works deal mainly with figures from the OId Testament or classicalmythology. I Exasperatedby his failure to produce a satisfactory depiction of the foam around the mouth of a spirited horse, Poussindashedhis spongeagainstthe canvas.The effect thus created was exactly what he had been striving for i so laboriously. !

SeealsoFneNz JosnrH HevnN-I.

Ar, 4E PREVIN, Andrd (1929- ), German-born conductor,pianist,and composer,knownespecially fo, his teleuisedconcert performAnces, which hauedone much to widen the audience for classicalmusic. He utas conductor of the LondonSymphonyOrchestra(1.969-79) andin 1,977becamemusic director of the Pinsburgh Symphony;hebasalsomademanyappearances asguestconductorwith othermaiororchestras. | (Asa teenagerPrevinusedto playthe piano at a cinemathat specialized in showingold silent movies.As he remembers,this job was short-lived.) "One afternoon I was poundingaway the appropriatemusicfor a '20s 'FlamingYouth' movie, did not watch the screen,and was blithely unawarethat the main arrraction,a revivalof D. W. Griffith'sbiblicalmasterpiece Intolerance,had begun.I was enthusiastically playinga Charlestonduringthe scenedepicting the LastSupperwhen the managerof the theatercamestormingdown the aisle,and I was unemployedtwo minuteslater."

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2 After a rehearsal with the London Sy-phony Orchestra, Previn was sitting in the bar of the Westbury Hotel, havinga drink with the soloist. He saw a young American composer whose work he had admired come into the room, and Previn beckoned him over and ordered him a drink. "f heard your orchestra a few nights agor" the composer said. "It soundedabsolutelymarvelous.It was the night the Beethoven Sixth was played in the first half." "Oh, Godr" Previn replied, "that was the night Pollini was supposedto play the Fourth Piano Concerto in the secondhalf, and he canceled, and we were stuck with one of those last-minute substitutions, that really appalling third-rate lady pianist. I'm really sorry you had to suffer through that." The young composer gavePrevin a long and thoughtful look. "That's all right," he said coolly, "I didn't mind. The pianist is my wife." 3 To assesstheir suitability for adopting a Vietnamese orphan, a Miss Taylor, who had run a Saigonorph anage,stayed with the Previn family for a weekend. At breakfast on the first morning, sheaskedif shemight havea bowl of cereal.Eagerto please,Previn reachedfor the health-food cerealthat his two small sonsconsumed with delight every morning and poured Miss Taylor a generousbowlful. \Ufhilesheate, he held forth on the nutritional value of the cereal. Miss Taylor made no reply, however, undl her bowl was empty. "To be quite honestr" she admitted, "l'm not crazyabout it." Previn'sglancehappenedto fall on rhe jar from which he had served Miss Taylor. "l'm not surpris€d," he said slowly, "I've just made you eat a large dish of hamster food."

PRINGLE, Sir John (1707-82),Scottishphysicianbestremembered for his work to improue thefacilitiesof military hospiuls.He wls presidentof the RoyalSocietyfrom 1772 to 1778. | ill health is the causegenerallygiven for Pringle'sresignationof the presidencyof the RoyalSociety,but thereis alsoanotherexplanation. BenjaminFranklin'sinventionof the lightningrod had givenhim uniquesratusasa scientistall overtheWesternworld. GeorgeIII, however,who found Franklin'srevolutionary sentiments uncongenial, waseagerto discredit his scientificachievements. He thereforeor-

deredthat blunt endsshould be substitutedfor the pointed ends on the lightning rods used on Kew Palace.Sir John Pringleis reputed to have remonstrated with the king, saying,"The laws of nature are not changeableat royal pleasur€," For this undiplomatic remark he was compelled to forfeit his position in the Royal Society. A$ eE PROKOFIEV, Sergei(1891-1953) , Russian composer. His many works include the Classical Symphony (1915-17), Peter and the Wolf (1935),and the opera The Love for Three Oranges(1,919). I One regular concert-goer at the Brussels Philharmonic alwaysarrived at the concert hall armed with sketchbook and pencil. Shewould sketch the guest artist during the performance and have the portrait autographed afterward. \7hen Prokofiev's turn came, however, he refused to sign the picture, consideringit a poor likeness."lt looks more like Furtwangler," he said. The usher who was acting asintermediary for the lady pleaded with the composer: "Please,Mr. Prokofiev.Sheis sucha good subscriber. Pleasedo this little thing for the Brussels Philharmonic!" Prokofiev looked at the picture again."All right," he sighed,picking up his pen and writing with a flourish. The usher examined the "autograph" more closely. Prokofiev had signedthe picture: "Furtwingler." Ary ..9 PULITZER, Joseph (1847-191,1),US newspaper baron, born in Hungary. He bought the New York tilTorld in 1883 and founded the New York Evening \7orld in L887. He also established tbe Pulitzer prizes, to be awarded "fo, the encouragementof public seruice,public morals, AmericAn literature, and the aduancement of education." I Like most great newspaperand magazine owners, Pulitzer was mildly megalomaniacal. He felt the World "should be more powerful than the president." He even thought it might t influence the inhabitants of other planets. He i once considerederectingan advertisingsign in New Jerseythat would be visible on Mars, and was dissuadedonly when one of his assistants I \ asked, "'What languageshall we print it in?" Ar, "e5

459 PUSHKIN, Alexander(1799-1837),Russian poet, nouelist, and playwright. His notable works include EugeneOnegin (1833), Boris Godunov (1831),and the epic The Bronze Horseman(1837). I Pushkinonce listenedto Gogol reading Dead Souls.He laughedheartily.Then suddenly his facegrew graveand he exclaimed, "Oh God, how sadour Russiais!" Ar, q8 US ReuolutionPUTNAM, Israel(1,718-90), ary commander.Hauing sentedin the French and Indian'War,he was appointedmaiorgen- .? tlreReuolutionand comeralat thebeginniryg.of \ mandedat seueralbattles. I During the French and Indian War Putnam was challenged to a duel by a British maior whom he had insulted.Realizingthat he would stand little chance in a duel with pistols, Putnam invited the major to his tent and suggested an alternativetrial of honor. The two men were sitting on small powder kegs, into each of which Putnam had inserted a slow-burning fuse. The first to squirm or move from his seat would be the loser. As the fuses burned, the major showed increasingsignsof anxiety, while Putnam continued to smoke his pipe with a casualair. Seeingthe spectatorsgradually disappear from the tent to escapethe impending explosion, the major finally leaped from his k.g, acknowledging Putnam asthe victor. Only then did Putnam revealthat the kegscontained onions, not gunpowder. PYLE, Ernest Taylor (1,900-45),US u)Ar correspondent.He won a Pulitzer Prize ft9aQ for his reporting of World War II. He was killed while couering the fighting against the J apanese in tbe Pacific. I Reporting on the Normandy landings, Ernie Pyle always seemedto be there when the

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action was toughest,thoughwithour any paradeof heroics.EnteringCherbourg,the correspondentsfound everything superficially calm,when suddenly^ shellhit a tank only a few yards from them. \Ufhenthe men in the streetstoppedrunningand went back, they found Ernie Pyle taking down the namesof thosewho hadcomeout of thetank.Bywayof explanationhe said,"They seemedto know ffi€,so I had to stick around." Ar, 48 PYRRHUS (319-272BC),king of Epirus in nortltwesternGreece(306-272 BC).A daring general,he was inuited by the Greekcities of southernItaly to helpthemagainstthegrowing might of Rome. He campaignedin ltaly and andwAskilled Sicily(250-275) withoutsuccess in a skirmish in the Peloponnesiantown of Argos,struck on the headby o roof tile hurled from a housetopby o womAn. I ln 279 nc the invadingGreekforcesunder Pyrrhusmet and defeatedthe Romansat the battleof Asculumin Apulia.The engagement, however,costPyrrhusmanymen,someof his and all his baggage.One closestassociates, of the Greekscongratulatedthe king on his victory, to which he replied,"Another such victoryand we areruined."Hencethe phrase "Pyrrhicvictory" for one that coststhe victor too high a price. Ar, -8 PYTHAGORAS (bornc.580BC),Greekphilosopher born on Samos. The geometrical theoremthat stillbearshis nameand thenotion of the "harmony of tbe spheres"werehis most important contributionsto science. I Seeinga puppy beingbeatenone d^y, Pythagorastook pity, saying,"Stop, do not beat it; it is the soul of a friend which I recognized when I heardit cryingout."

es, Q qg QUEENSBERRY, William Douglas, 4th Duke of (1724-18L0),British noblemanknown for the latter part of his life as "Old Q." 1 Old Q was entertainingat his villa in Richmond, which had a magnificent view of the Thames River. Guest after guest admired the panorama undl the duke burst out, "'$7hat is there to make so much of in the Thames?I am quite tired of it. Flow, flow, flow, always the same.tt

2 '$fith advancing years Old Q became very infirm and spent much of his time at the porch or bow window of his London house, overlooking Piccadilly. In those days great households included a class of retainer called a "running footmafrr" whose job was to run messagesand errands and to clear a way through crowds for their employers. Applicants for the post of running footman in Old Q" establishmenthad to run a kind of trial up Piccadilly, dressed in full ducal livery, while Old Q himself watched from his vantagepoint. One particular candidateran so speedilythat Old a shouted down in delight, "You'll do very well for me." "And your lordship" livery will do very well for me," replied the man, taking off at top speed,never to be seen again. At' 48

QUESNAY, Fransois (I594-L774), French economist and physician. He was leader of the Physiocrats, a group of Enlightenment theorists who belieued in the parAmount importance of agriculture in the economy. -! Louis XV once asked Quesnay,who was originally the king's physician,what he would do if he were king. "Nothing," replied Quesnay. "But then, who would govern?" asked Louis. "The lawsr" was the response. As, qt QUIN, James(1693-1766), British actor. I tWilliam Warburton, bishop of Gloucester was holding forth about royal prerogative,oi which he was an ardent supporter. Quin tried to shut him up by asking him to sparehis feelings, as he was a republican. "Perhaps I even think that the execution of Charles I might have been iustified," he added. "Oh? By what law?" demandedWarburton. "By all the laws that he had left to the country," retorted Quin. The bishop replied that Charles would have beensparedin a proper court of law, and in any caseall the regicideshad come to violent ends. "l would not adviseyour lordship to make use of that inferenc€,"said Quin, "for, if I am not mistaken, that was the case of the twelve apostles."

&s'R q8 RABELAIS, Fransois(?1494-1553) , French writer. By turns a Franciscanfriar, a Benedictine monk, and a secularpriest, Rabelaisalso practicedas a physician.His Garganruaand Pantagruel,publishedat intentalsfrom 1532, combinedobscenehorseplaywith satireon ecclesiasticalinstitutions.This led to condemnation of his books by the theologiansof the Sorbonne.His colorful writings doubtlessencouragedtheaccumulationof apocryphalanecdotesabout his life and death.

Uniuersity from 1.929,becoming professor there in 1937. He u)as awarded the 1944 Nobel Prize fo, physics. I Leo Szilard,anxiousto enlistother physicistsin determining whetherfissioncouldproduce the neutronsneededfor the releaseof energy,sentRabito seethe greatEnricoFermi at his home. Rabi went, saw Fermi,and reportedto Szilardthat Fermihad said,"Nuts!" Szilard,baffled, then accompaniedRabi to Fermi'sofficeand askedfor an explanationof "Nuts!" Fermiexplainedthat the possibilityof a chain reactionresultingfrom the fissionof uraniumwas remote."'What do you meanby 'remote'?"askedRabi. "Well, ten percentr" said Fermi. Leo Szilardnever forgot Rabi's quiet reply to this statement:"Ten percentis not a remotepossibilityif we may die of it."

I On the way to Paris one d^y, Rabelais found himself stranded at a small country inn with no money to pay his bill or to continue his journey. So he made up three small packets, labeled them "Poison for the Kingr" "Poison for Monsieur," and "Poison for the Dauphin" and left them where the landlord of the inn was sure to find them. That patriotic citizen informed the police, who promptly arrested Rabelaisand hauled him off to Paris.When the packetswere examinedand found to be empty, Rabelais explained his subterfuge and was set free, having accomplished his journey at no expenseto himself.

Ar, 48 RACHEL (1,820-58),French actress,born Ellsa Felix, the daughterof a Jewish peddler. From 1838she was the Comhdie-Franeaise's leadingtragedienneuntil her earb deathfrom tuberculosis.

2 A short time before Rabelaisdied, he put on a domino (cloak and mask) and was seen sitting by his bed in this unusual garb. Reproached for being so frivolous at this dark and serioushour, he quipped in Latinr"Benti qui in \ Domino morittntur" (Blessedare they who die tl lr in the Lord-or-in a domino). it

I

3 It is said that Rabelaismade the following will: "I owe much. I possessnothittg. I give the rest to the poor." Ar, 48 RABI, Isidor Isaac (1S98-1 988), US pbysicist, born in AustriA. He taught at Columbia

I One of Rachel'snumerous lovers was Frangois d'Orleans,Prince de Joinville, third son of Louis-Philippe. He sent her his visiting card on which he had written z "Ou? - quand?combien?" (Sfhere?- when?- how much?) Rachel, equally businesslike,scrawled: "Chez toi - ce soir- pour rien" (Your place- tonight - free of charge) and sent the card back. Their affair lasted for seven or eight years. 2 Becauseof her itinerant upbringing Rachel was virtually uneducated,and to the end of her life her letters remainedfull of errors in spelling and grammar. Rachel was quite aware of her

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RACHEL

'When an admirer "beggedher for "ttn failings. bel autographe" (a ryrpeetitograph),she replied, "[Jn bel autogy.qbi) Auecou sAnsorthographe?" (A nice autograph- with or without proper spelling?) 3 Despite her lack of education, Rachel excelled at the interpretation of the classical French heroinesin the tragediesof Racineand Corneille, restoring their playsto the repertoire of the Comedie-Frangaise.Someone once pompously congratulated her on saving the French language.Sheanswered,"Clever of me, isn't it, seeingthat I never learned it." 4 Rachel was notorious for her avadceand for her guile at persuadingpeople to give her presents.Dining at the Comte DuchAtel's,she pointedly admired the great silver centerpiece on the table. The count, completely under her spell, said he would be h"ppy to give it to her. Rachel accepted eagerly,but was a little nervous that the count might changehis mind. She mentioned that shehad come to the dinner in a cab. The count offered her his carriageto take her home. "lndeedr" said Rachel, "that will suit me very well, as there will then be no dangerof my beingrobbed of your gift, which I had better take with me." The count bowed. "'With pleasure," he said, "!g, you will send my carriageback, won't you?" 5 Rachel had presented Dumas filt with a ring. Fully aware of the actress'sreputation for requesting and acquiring gifts from her friends and acquaintances,Dumasimmediately slipped the ring back onto Rachel's finger: "Permit me, mademoiselle,to presentit to you in my turn so as to saveyou the embarrassment of asking for it." 6 Boasted Rachel after a successfulopening night: "Mon dieu! When I came our on the stage the audience simply sar there openmouthed." "Nonsense!" snapped a fellow actress. "They never all yawn at once." Ar, '.8 RACHMANINOFF, Sergei (L873-1943), Russian composer, pianist, and conductor. After 1917 he liued mainly in the United States. He first achieuedfame as a pianist performing his own compositions.

I Arthur Rubinstein gave a dinner party in honor of Rachmaninoff,in the courseof which the composer mentioned that he thought the Grieg piano concerto the greatesteverwritten. Rubinstein said that he had just recorded it. Rachmaninoff insisted on hearing the recording then and there. During coffee, Rubinstein put on the proofs of the record and Rachmaninoff, closing his eyes,settled down to listen. He listened right through without saying a word. At the end of the concerto he openedhis eyesand said, "Piano out of tune." 2 Rachmaninoff, taken ill in the middle of a concert tour, was admitted to a hospital in Los Angeles,where cancer was diagnosed.Knowing he was dying, the pianist looked at his hands and murmured, "My dear hands. Farewell, my poor hands." 4., 48 RACINE, Jean (1639-99), French dramatist. His t)ersetragediesAre consideredthe finest examples of the French classical drama; they include Andromaque (1557), Berdnice (1670), and Phedre(1.677). I The actressMarie Champm0l6once asked, Racine from what source he had drawn his' religious drama Athalie. "From the Old Testamentr" he replieJ,-rrReally?"said the actress. "From the Old Testament?I always thought there was a new one." Ar, q8 RAFT, George (1895-1980), US fil* actor, famous for his sinister roles in gangstermouies. He had preuiously beena nightclub dancer and athlete. I George Raft acquired and disposed of about ten million dollars in rhe course of his career."Part of the loot went for gamblingr" h. I later explained, "part for horses, and part for I women. The rest I spent foolishly." I Al, -8 RAGLAN, FitzRoy James Henry Somerset, lst Baron (1788-1855), British field marshal. He serued with distinction under the Duke of Wellington during the Napoleonic Wars and taas appointed commander in the Crimean War, for the conduct of which he endured much criticism. The raglan sleeuestyle is named for bim.

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RALEIGH

I At the: close cl ;eof the ba attl ffte oft Waterloo W4tt Raglan was stan standir ling beside \\$(/ellington lingto when a ,lbo bulletshatte ttered is right elb d his ow.. The T h earm i had to be amputate ated,) za noperat :ior onn Raglan l rglanIbore with( out a murm :mur,, but I ut as ther lir lim mb wasb beingtaken tD awayfor di dispo osal sal he cri'ied e d out, ( ] t , tttDon't carry t ken away thatI armr till ll I havr e: tal :n off my ring." ,ack The arm was bro I rought bac k, and and IRaglan rerine tlhat his wiife hadI giver trieved a ring siven him. Al,

48

RAINIER III [RainierLouisHenri Maxence Bertrand de Grimaldil (1923- ), prince "f Monaco.The twenty-sixthruling princeof the Houseof Grimaldi, in L955hemarriedus fil* star GraceKelb, who diedfollowinga cnracci' dentin 1982. I On a tour of the Astrodome,a huge,porrr' stadiumcoveringsomenine acresof land in' Houstotr, Texas,Prince Rainier was asked,' "How would you like to havethe Astrodomet in Monaco?" "Matrelousr"hereplied."Then we couldbe '|; the world's only indoor country." 4., 48

-16L8),English RALEIGH, Sir Walter (?1552 soldier, explorer, and writer. A fauorite of Queen Elizabeth I, he wls sent by her on uoyagesto the New World. His uigorousantiSpanishopinions causedhis downfall under Spain. JamesI whentheking wishedto appease He was sentenced to death(1503),but the sentenceuas commutedto imprisonment.During bis tuwlueyearsin tbefug*gf Londonhe wrotesome W," "The Pilgrimage")and begana history of the world.In 15L5hewasreleased to searchfor gold in SouthAmerica,but theexpeditionwasa catastropheandon his returnthedeathsentence of 1603wls carriedottt. I Although primarily a man of action, the. courtly Raleighexemplifiedthe ideal of the i gentleman.There is an old tradiRenaissance tion that he firstcaughtthe attentionof Queen Elizabethsometimein 1581 when she was walkingalonga muddy path. As shehesitated in front of a particularlylargepuddle,Raleigh sprang forward and, taking off his new plush cloak, laid it on the ground for his sovereignto : step upon.

2 At the outset of his career as courtier Ra- i leigh scratchedwith a diamond the following j words on a window of the royal palace:"Fain would I climb, y€t fear I to fall." The queen,as he had intended, read the line. She completed the couplet: "lf thy heart fail thee, climb not at all." 3 Raleigh brought back tobacco from the i New World and introduced smoking to Britain. The novelty caused much comment and considerablediscussionpro and con. Raleigh was once enjoyinga pipe when his servant,seeing his master enveloped in clouds of smoke, thought that he must be on fire, and quickly emptied a bowl of water over Raleigh'shead. 4 (John Aubrey recounts an incident that led to Raleigh's temporary loss of favor with Queen Elizabeth.) "He loved a wench well; and one time getting one of the Maids of Honour up againsta tree in a wood ('twas his first lady) who seemed at first boarding to be something fearful of her 'Sweet honour, and modest, she cried, Sir \falter, what do you me ask? \fill you undo SweetSir Walter! Sir me?Nry, sweetSir:!$Talter! '$Talter!' At last,'asthe danger and the pleasure at the same time grew higher, she cried in the 'SWisser Swatter, SwisserSwatter!' She ecstasy, proved'"with child, and I doubt not but this hero'took care of them both, as also that the product was more than an ordinary mortal." 5 Like his father, Raleigh's eldest son and namesakewas quick-tempered and a womanizer. At a dinner in great company young 'S7alter, sitting next to his father, beganto tell a discreditableanecdote,about how he had visited a whore and shehad refusedto lie with him because"your father lay with me but an hour ago." Incensed and embarrassed, Raleigh hit young Walter acrossthe face. The young man was wild, but not so wicked as to strike his father. So he turned to the man sitting on his other sideand hit him, sayingashe did so, "Box about; it will come to my father anon."

6 In his role as Elizabeth'sfavorite Raleigh was quick to seekbenefitsand rewards.The queenoncerebukedhim mildly for his rapacity, saying,"When will you ceaseto be a beggar?"

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"'When you cease to be a benefactress, ma'am," replied Raleigh. 7 The sentenceof death on Raleighwas confirmed on October 28, L6I8, with the execution set for the following morning. As Raleigh was led back to prison from the tribunal at \ilestminster, he spied an old acquaintance,Sir Hugh Beeston, whom he greeted cheerfully. "You will come tomorrow?" he askedBeeston. "But I do not know how you will manageto get a place. For my own part I am sure of one, but you will have to shift for yourself." 8 Raleigh's courage and dignity on the scaffold were part of the legend that grew up around him as a martyr to the unpopulat proSpanishpolicy of James I. He tested the ax's edge, saying,"lt is a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills." As he laid his head on the block, someone protested that it should be placedso that his headshould point toward the east. "'What matter how the head lie, so the heart be right?" said Raleigh. As, ..8 RAMANUJAN, Srinivasa(1887-1920), Indian mathematician. He uisited England (1914-19), but fell iil and died soon after returning to India. The Cambridgt mathematician G. H. Hardy edited and published after his death most of his profoundly original work. 1 (J. E. Littlewood, a mathematician who collaborated with Hardy, recounts a conversation with Ramanujan.) "l rememberonce going to seehim when he was lying ill at Putney. I had ridden in taxicab number 1729, and remarked that the number seemed to me rather a dull one, and that I 'Nor' hoped it was not an unfavorable omen. 'it he replied, is a very interestingnumber; it is the smallestnumber expressibleas the sum of yd two cubes in two different ways."' A* a8 RAMSEY, [Arthur] Michael (1904- ), AnglicAnprelate.Ordained in L928,he was bishop of Durham (1952-56),archbishopof York (195661),and archbishopof Canterbury 095L-74). I Even as a curate, Ramsey was renowned for his absentmindedness.His landlady was

tidying up his room one dty when there camea knock ai the door. "Mr. Ramsey'snot here," she called."He's gone out." "Oh, y€s, yes of courser" came the reply. "Thank you very much." Recognizingthe voice as that of her young lodger, the landladyopenedthe door in time to ,seeRamseydisappeararound the corner. 2 In New York one d"y, a local photographer had been trying for some time to take a picture of Ramsey,who was there on an official visit. Unable to think of any better way to attract the archbishop'sattentior, he finally called out in desperation: "Archie, would you turn your headthis woy, please?"Turning his head,Ramsey politely corrected the American. "My name,sir, is not Archie," he saidwith a friendly smile. "lt's Mike." Ar, 48 RAPHAEL [Raffaello Sanzio] (1483-1 520), Italian artist and architect. He studied in Perugia with Perugino before mouing to Florence (1504)and then Rome (1508).He decoratedthe papal apartments in the Vatican with a celebrated series of frescoesand in 1514 was appointed to succeedBramante as architect of St. Peter's. I A couple of cardinals,watching Raphaelat work on his Vatican frescoes,annoyed the artist by keepingup a streamof ill-informed criticism. "The face of the apostle Paul is far too red," complainedone. "He blushesto seeinto whose hands the church has fallen," said Raphael.

6., ..6 RAYNAL, AbbeGuillaumeThomasFrangois (I7 I3-9 6), Frenchhistorian. 1 The Abbe Raynaland the Abbe Galiani were both incessant talkers.A friend decided to amusehimselfby invitingthemtogetherto a gatheringat hishouse.AbbeGalianiseizedthe firstopeningandtook overtheconversation so completelythat' no one, not eventhe Abbe Raynal,could get a word in edgewise.After listeningin growingfrustration,Raynalturned to his host and muttered,"S'il crache,il est pgrdu" (lf he spits,he'slost).

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Fanny Ronalds was a nineteenth-century society beauty and singer. Leonard Jerome, a I7all Street magnate,was one of her most ardent admirers, financing her performances as a singer and being frequently seen out driving with her. At a ball she came unexpectedly face to face with Jerome's wife, Clara. As Mrs. Ronalds held out her hand, the spectators held their breath, wondering how Mrs. Jerome would react to meeting the lady with whom her husband's name was so publicly linked. Mrs. Jerome took her rival's hand and said,"I don't blameyou. I know how irresistiblehe is."

- Anita Leslie, The RemarkableMr. lerome

READING, Stella, Marchioness of (18941971), British political fig,rrt, secretaryto Lord Reading, whom she marcied in 1931. I Shortly after their marriage the Readings visited Lloyd George in the hospital, where he was recoveringfrom a prostate operation. Only Lord Reading was admitted to the patient's room, the doctor insisting that he stay ho longer than ten minutes.At the end of that time the doctor reluctantly agreedto an extension. As he was about to enter the room to turn Lord Reading out, he remarked pleasantly to a woman he did not know who happenedto be standing in the corridor, "l think they ought to break it off now, don't you? In any case,Lord is he?" To this the Reading isn't ye-ry_919iting, woman replied, "'lVell, he is my husband,and I have only been married to him a fortnight." At this time she was thirty-seven, he seventy. Aro '.5 REAGAN, Ronald (191,1- ), US film actor and politician; 40th president of tbe United States (1951-59). He won fame as a mouie Actor, particularly in low-budget Westerns, before mouing on to politics in his later yenrs. An ultra-conseruntiue Republican, he was gouernor of California (1.966-74) .

I During a student demonstrationin th. \ 1950sReagan's limousinewashemmedin by i " j crowd of chantingdemonstrators wavingplacards.The demonstratorswere chanting,"'S7e d arethe future." Reaganscribbledon a pieceof f paperand held it up to the window so they I could readthe words:"l'll sellmy bonds." ) 2 In March 1,981,a would-be assassinfired" severalshots at the president and his party as they left a'$Tashingtonhotel. Reaganwas taken to the hospital with a seriouschestwound that needed emergencysurgery.As he was wheeled i into the operating,theater he smiled, looked around at the team of surgeons, and said, "Please assure me that you are all Republi- { cans!" 3 Severalother men were wounded in the assassinationattempt. The president asked to be kept informed of their progress.Told that it was good, he exclaimed, "That's great news. We'll have to get four bedpans and have a reunion.tt 4 Even the Democrats were impressed by Reagan'sfirst televisedbudget speech,in which he used a handful of small change to illustrate the current value of the dollar. "lt takes an actor to do that," admitted one of his rivals. "Carter would have emphasizedall the wrong words. Ford would havefumbled and dropped the cash.Nixon would have pocketed it." 5 On April 5, 1984, Reagan ended a foreign policy addressat Georgetown University by recalling his entranceto a recent state dinner for Francois Mitterrand: "Mrs. Mitterrand and I startedthrough the tables,the butler leadingus , through the people,and suddenlyMrs. Mitterrand stopped. She calmly turned her head and said something to me in French, which unfor- : tunately I did not understand.And the butler was motioning for us to come ofl, and I motioned to her that we should go forward, that we were to go to the other side of the room. And again,verycalmly, shemade her statement to me.tt

An interpreter finally explained to Mr. Reagan that Madame Mitterrand was telling him he was standing on her gown. Aro ..6

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REED, Thomas Brackett (1839-1'902),US statesman.A lawyer by profession,Reedwas a Republican member of the House of Representatiues (1577-99) and twice setaedas Speaker ( 1 5 8 9 - 9 L ,1 , 8 9 5 - 9 9 ) . '

! SpeakerReedwas chatting with lawyer and diplomat Joseph H. Choate and a senator of the time. Choate said pompouslyr "l have not drunk whiskey, played cardsfor money, or attended a horse racein twenty-eightyears."The senator said admiringly, "l wish I could say ,that!" RemarkedReed:o'Well,why don't you? ,Choatesaid it." 2 In the course of debate when Reed was Speaker,William M. Springerof Illinois quoted Henry Clay'sfamous"l had rather be right than be president." In an undertone Reed interjected, "The gentlemanneed not worry, for he will never be either." 6s, q8 REGER, Max (1,873-1916),German composer and organist. I After playing the piano part in Schubert's "Trout" Quintet, Max Regerreceiveda basket of trout from an admirer. Regerwrote to thank the sender, mentioning casuallythat his next concert program was to include Haydn's "Minuet of the Ox," 2 After receivinga bad review from Munich critic Rudolf Louis, Regerwrote to him: "I am sitting in the smallestroom of my house.I have your review before me. In a moment it will be behind me." {This responseto adversecriticism has been attributed to severalpeople. Shall we call it derri0re-pens,Ae?) As' '48 REHAN, Ada (1850-L91,5),US actress,born in lreland. She excelled in comic roles, and worked with Augustin Daly" company in New York from 1879 to L899. I Miss Rehan was playing opposite an inexperiencedyoung actor in a romantic comedy. During one scenethe young hero asksthe heroine a vital questionand shepausesto consider her answer. The hero's next line should have been: "You don't replyr" but at this point the

young actor lost his nerrreand dried up. "You don't reply . o . you don't replyr" came a hoarsewhisper from the wings. "How the hell can Ir" retorted the young actor impatiently, "when I don't know what to say?" As, q8 REINHARDT, Max (1873-1943),Austrian theater director of Jewish parentage. He wls noted for his lauish productions, of which the most famous was The Miracle (1911). I A clever young man was instructing Rein"No hardt in the art ofproducing Shakespeare: lavish spectacle,no gorgeousscenery,just simple black curtains; that's how it should be done. So much more aftistic." Reinhardt nodded. "Also much easierr"he said. As' e8 REISENAUER, Alfred (1863-1907), German pianist, a pupil of Liszt. 'l "Reisenauer . . had given a concert at the palace of some German princeling. The I next d^y, the Ho fmarschall came to his hotel grand duke and offered him behalf or of the , t the choice of eitherone thousandmarks or the ,Order of the Bear or the Falcon, or something i[ke that. 'What would they chargefor such a 'Oh, medal in shops?'asked the artist. I think ' ''Wellr' twenty marksr'replied the courtier. said 1Reisenauer,'l will accept the medal and nine ; hundred and eighty marks."' As, e8 RENOIR, Pierre Auguste (1841-1919), Frencb Impressionist painter. He exhibited at the first three Impressionist exhibitions and had a profound influence on the mouement, though be himself more or lessabandoned it after 1882. He spent the last years of his life in the south of France, where he painted many of his famous nudes. 1 Renoir was once askedhow he managedto produce such natural flesh tints and shapely forms in his nude paintings."I just keep painting till I feel like pinching," he replied. "Then I know it's right." When both were in their seventies,Renoir Ftd sculptor Aristide Maillol exchangedviews -bnart. Maillol said,"My ambition is to be able

2

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RHODES

to sculpta younggirl betweensixteenand,.u-1 enteenlin accotl *ittt my idealconceptionof i .r

f

I

,,

the figure." I "And miner" said Renoir, "is to be ableto I I paint a white napkin." f

3 Renoir continuedpaintinB,magnificently, for yearsafter he wascrippledby arthritis;the brush had to be strappedto his arm. "You don't needyour handto paintr" he said. 4 \il7henRenoir becameso old and crippled, that he could not hold a brush,he took to ; modelingnudesin clay for his own entertainment.AugusteRodin,the sculptor,askedwhy i hedid not stickto painting.Renoirrepliedgen- , tly, "I amtoo old t-opaint-Imustdo something1 easier." 6ro e8 USessayist. REPPLIER,Agnes(?1855-1950), Her writings includePoints of View (1891), andln Pursuitof ind Others(191.2), Americans Laughter (1936). I A youngvisitorwasaboutto takeherleave of Miis Repplier.Shiftingfrom onefoot to the other, she-pickedup her hat and muff, put to be themdownlgain, andgenerallyappeared in a stateof distraction."Therewassomething I meantto say,"shefinallyadmitted,"but I've forgottenwhat it was." "Perhaps,my dearr"suggestedMiss Repplier,"it wasgood-by.." A*c8 REUTHER, Walter (1907-70),US labor Ieader,headof theUnitedAutoWorkers,president of the Congressof lndustrial Organiza' tions. I Reuther once visited an auto factory in Cleveland.A youngmanagertalkedon and on about a new processthey had for automating the line.It would be,he said,highlyrobotized, and it would work far more efficientlyand cheaplythan the currentline. On and on he went, describingthe glory of the robots. "And tell me," Reutherfinally interrupted, "thesewonderful new robots- will they go out and buy carsfrom your company?" Art ,.8

Fanny Ronalds crowned her artistic and social triumphs by giving a grand ball to which only the cream of New York society was invited. The hostess'sdressin her role as the spirit of music was one of the highlights of an evening in which no expense was spared. Some twenty years later two of Mrs. Ronalds's most devoted beaux were recalling those days. "Do you remember Fanny's celebrated ball?" LeonardJeromeaskedAugust Belmont. "I most certainly dor" Belmont re- 14

t plied."After all, I paidfor it." Therewas a slightpause."\fhy, how verystrange,"i saidJerome."So did I." - Anita Leslie, The RemarkableMr. lerome

n ,i rt ,t

REYNOLDS, Sir Joshua(1723-92),English portrait painter, first presidentof the Royal Academy(1758). His many portraits include thoseof Samuel]ohnson,EdmundBurke,and Dauid Garrick;he wasalsonotedfor his paintingsof children. 1 TheScottishpainterRobertBarberwasout sketchingon Calton Hill, Edinburgh.He noticed a curiouseffectcausedby the prevailing conditions:it wasasif the entire atmospheric viewwerecontainedwithin a cylinder"Inspired with the ideaof reproducingthis effectartistically, he made a model of a panoramaand showedit to Reynolds.The greatartist was skeptical.If Barberwere ableto put his idea into practice,saidSirJoshua,he would getout of his bedin the middleof the nightto seethe andsetup hisfirst outcome.Barberpersevered Lonpanoramain a housein LeicesterSquare) don, not far from SirJoshua'sown residence. Reynoldscarriedout hispromise.He arrivedto view the panoramawearinghis dressing-gown and slippers. Ar, 48 SoutbAfRHODES, CecilJohn(1S53-1,902), andfinancier.Of Englishbirth, ricanstatesman Rhodesemigratedto South Africa for health reasonsand madea uastfortunefrom gold and diamond mining. As prime minister of the CapeColony(1890-96),heexpandedBritain's

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colonial territories in southern Africa, but ouerreachedhimself with the Jameson Raid (1595) against the Dutch settlers (Boers) led by Paul Kruger. The open hostility that thus resultedled to the Boer'War (1899-1902). Under Rhodes's will part of his fortune was used to endow Rhodes scholarships. I Rhodes was a stickler for correct dressand behavior, but not at the expenseof someone else's feelings. A young man invited to dine with him in Kimberley arrived by train and had to go directly to Rhodes'shouse in his travelstained clothes. Here he was appalled to find the other guests already assembled,wearing full eveningdress.Feelingvery uncomfortable, he waited with the rest of the companyfor their hgst to appear.After what seemeda long rime, Rhodes finally appeared,in a shabby old blue suit. The young man later learnedthat when he arrived Rhodes had been dressed in evening clothes and was about to welcome his guests. Told of the traveler'sdilemma, Rhodeshad at once returned to his room and put on an old suit. 2 \fhen asked why he had come ro South Africa, Rhodes replied that there was some truth in the reasonshis friends usuallyascribed to him - love of adventure or on account of his health. But, he confided, "The real fact is that I could no longer stand English eternal cold mutton." 3 Rhodes died from heart diseaseat a low ebb in his fortunes, beserby personalscandals and discreditedby the tragedy ofthe Boer'War, which his own misjudgmentsand policies had helped to foment. Lewis Michell, who was ar his bedsidein Rhodes'scotrageat Muizenberg, near Cape Town, heard the dying man murmur, "So little done, so much to do." 4 The distribution of Rhodes'svasr forrune under the terms of his will, with much of the money directed toward the setting up of the Rhodes scholarships,causedsome resentment in the immediate family. "'Well, there it is," said his brother Arthur. "It seemsto me I shall have to win a scholarship." Ar, 48 RICE, Grantland (1880-19 54), much-loued US sportswriter, known as "Granny" to his friends.

I During the 1,944\7orld SeriesGranny arrived at the Sportsman'sPark in St. Louis to discoverhe had brought the wrong ticket with him. Resigninghimself to missing the start of the game, the celebratedsportswriter was on the point of going back to his hotel to ger the proper ticket when Frank Graham came over to him and, on learning of Granny's predicament, led him promptly toward the gateman. "This is Grantland Rice behind me," Graham declared."He hasthe wrong ticket." The gateman beamed at Granny and ushered him in with great deference.When the pair reached the pressbox Graham made a similar inrroduction and the gateman there was equally welcoming. "Frankie, you are maroelousr"Granny said as they took their seats."How did you managethat?" Al, q$ RICH, John (1925director.

), US teleuisionand frl*

| \Torking on a Western film, Rich was having difficulty with a particular ourdoor shor. Each affempt was marred by extraneous noise - traffic passing, dogs barking, jets flying verhead.A passerbyhad sroppedto watch the lming. "tilfhy do you persist in shooring the e scene so many times?" she asked. The :xasperatedRich replied: "Madaffi, have you topped to consider how many cinemasthere

e in this counrry?" A$ e8 RICHARD I (1157-99), king of England (1189-99), known as Richard Coeur de Lion (the Lionheart). He spent most of his reign cnmpaigning abroad as one of the most successful leadersof the Tbird Crusade. Held prisoner by Fmperor Henry Vl in Austria on his way home, he was releasedonly on payment of a huge rAnsom (1194). I \fhen Richard was captured by the Austrians, it was some time before anyone in England discovered where he was. A minstrel called Blondel searched for his masrer throughout Europe in vain. Returning home through Aust riarhowever, he learned that in an ancient stronghold near Linz there was a closelyguardedprisonerwhose identity no one knew. Blondel, suspectingthe mysteriouscaptive was his master, went to the castle but was

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unable to catch a glimpse of the prisoner. He eventuallylocated a tiny barred window, high up on the castlewall, which he thought was the prisoner's cell. Under this window he sangthe first couplet of a troubadour's song, the first part of which had been composed by himself and the secondby Richard. From the window a voice responded with the second p"ft, and Blondel knew that he had found his master. {According to one tradition Blondel then took employment at the fortress,gained accessto Rich ardrandwas the messenger through whom Richard arranged the raising of his ransom with the English nobility. There is, however, no reliable source for any part of the story.) 2 Richard I was once warned by an eminent preacherthat he would be severelypunishedby God if he did not soon marry off his three daughters.The king protested that he had no daughters,to which the priest replied, "Your Majisty has three - ambition, avarice, ald luxury. Get rid of them as fast as possible,else assuredly some great misfortune will be the consequence." "If it must be so," replied Richard contemptuously, "then I give my ambition to the templars, my avarice to the monks, and my luxury to the prelates." As, q4 RICHARDSON, Sir Ralph (1902-84), British actor. He enioyed considerablesuccessin a uariety of Shakespeareanrolesand in numerous films. 1 In l, 91g the young Richardson was an of- n fice boy for an insurancecompany in Brighton. To relieve the tedium of the iob, he decided : one d^y to see if he could walk around the building on a narrow ledge several stories : above t-h. street, He had -."nt to time this exploit to coincide with his boss's absence from the office, but unfortunately as he was : edginghis way past the boss'swindow, the man himself entered the room and froze. Richard- r son gave him a cheery wave and called, "I was i i chasinga pigeon." 2 Ralph Richardsonseemeddestinedto have bad luck at the home of his friends, Vivien Leigh and Laurence Olivier. At a housewarming for the couple's first home in Chelsea,

Richardson brought along some fireworks to set off in the tiny backyard in celebration. He lit the first (and largest) one, but instead of soaring into the London skies,it shot straight through the open patio windows into the dining room, burned up the curtains, and set the cornic e ablaze.Vivien Leigh was not amused. Some years later, Richardson and his wife were invited to the Oliviers' new home, Notley Abbey. Recallingthe disasterof the fireworks, they promised each other to be exceedingly careful. All went well at first. After dinner, Olivier mentioned that the medievalmonks who had owned the abbey had left some interesting paintingson the roof beams;would anyonelike to seethem?The ladiesdeclined, but Richardson and Olivier, armed with flashlights, went up to the attics.A few minutes later there came an anguished. cry ryd a fearful crash. The women rushed upstairs to find Richardson on the bed in the main guestrooffi, dust and plaster everywhere,and a iaggedhole in the ceiling. In his enthusiasmover the paintings,Richardson had not noticed that the attic floor was unboarded, had stepped backward from a nfter, and, like the firework through the patio door, shot straight down through the ceiling. Aco .td RIC HELIEU, Armand-Emmanuel du Plessis, Duc de (1766-1822), French statesman.Taking refugefrom the French Reuolution in Russia,he became a successfuladministrator in Odessa (1503-14). He returnedto ioin Louis XVIII in France, but after Napoleon's escapefrom Elba reioined the Russian atmy, attempting to influence euents in fauor of tbe French monarchy duringthe Congressof ViennA. In 1815 he succeededTalleyrandas prime minister and helped to relieue France of the burdens it had suffered after the defeat of Napoleon. I Married at fifteen to a deformed girl three yearshis junior, Richelieu never had more than a formal relationship with his wife. The duchess inevitably sought her consolation elsewhere. Coming upon her in flagrante delicto, Richelieu rebuked her: "Madaffi€, you must really be more careful. .Stppg:.e it had been someone elsewho found you like this."

2 Richelieuand his officerswere planning a\ campaign."'We shall cross the river at this j

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pointr" said one of the officers, placing his finger on the map. "Excellent, sirr" remarked Richelieu, "but your finger is not a bridge." 3 \7hen Richelieu learned an old, rich, and stupid widow of his acquaintancehad died the previous day, his only comment was, "'What a pity! Shewould have been a fine catch the day before that." 4., q8 RICHTER, Hans (1843-191,6),Hungarian conductor. He was famous for his interpretation of the works of Wagner and Brahms, and for some time led the Halle Orchestra in England. I An orchestraplayer who had yearnedto try his hand at conducting finally reahzedhis ambition. As he left the podium, he obseryedto Richter, "You know, this conducting business is really very straightfonvard." "Ssh!" said Richter. "l b.g you, don't give us away!" 2 Once, with Richter conducring Dvoiik's Ninth Symphony, the cymbal player miscounted the barsin the finaleand camein at the wrong place.The conductor fixed a furious eye upon the delinquent and glowered at him for the remainder of the piece. At the end of the concert he fired the man. A couple of days later, rehearsingthe same symphotrI, Richter stopped the orchestra rwo bars before the fateful spot and muftered ominously, "Is he sdll alive, do you think?" 3 Richter once lost his temper (and, remporarily, his command of the English language) with an incompetenr second flutist at Covent Garden. "Your damned nonsensecan I stand twice or oncer" he roared, "but sometimes always,by God, never." A!, q8 RIGAUD, painter.

Hyacinthe (1659-1743), French

I A heavily made-up lady was having her portrait painted by Rigaud. She complained rhat his colors were much too bright. "'We buy them at the sameshop, madamer" retorted the artist.

US RILEY, JamesWhitcomb (1,849-1915), uersifier,known As the "Hoosier poet." His works includeRhymesof Childhood (1890) and The Little Orfant Annie Book (1908). landladytold the poet I Riley's\ilTashington i oned^y of the sadfateof herneighbor'scook. Havingworked for the family for manyyears, ' the unfortunatewomanhad fallenasleepover ' herstoveand burnedto death.An appropriate epitaph sprangimmediatelyto Riley's lips: i"\Ufelldone,good and faithful servant." 4., ..S RIVAROL, Antoinede (I7 53-1801),French writer and wit. I A bitter andmerciless critic of others,who had himselfproducednothing,was attacking his usualtargets.Rivarolsaidto him, "lt is a greatadvantage to haveproducednothing,but you mustnot abuseit." 2 Someone askedRivarol'sopinionof a coupletproducedby a mediocrepoet."Very good, but it has its longueulrs," wasthe response. 4., ..6 RIVERA, Antonio (died 1936),SpanishNationalisthero,known as "the Angelof theAlcdzLr." I Antonio Rivera,son of a formermayorof Toledo,took refugewith orherNationalisrs in the Alcazarin the summerof 1936ar the srarr of the famoussiegeduring the SpanishCivil '$Var. As a pacifist,the youth refusedat first to help defendthe ancienrsrronghold,and was put on latrineduty. When the situationof rhe besieged becamemore desperate, he decided that it would not be inconsistent with hisprinciplesto aid in the defense,providedthat he did not kill in hatred.He wasassigned theposition of loaderto a heavymachinegun. It was saidthat he would give the signalto fire with the words: "Tirad-pero sin odio" (Firewithout hatred). {Just nine days before the Arlcilzarwas relieved,a grenadeshatteredAntonio's arm. The limb had ro be ampurated 'lil7hen without benefitof anesrhedc. the Nationalist forces relievedthe Alcilza4 Antonio wascarriedwith greathonor to

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his father'shouse,but he neverrecovered,and died two monthslater.) Ar, 48 RIZZUTO, fig,rre.

Phil (1918- ), US sports

| "\ilfhile broadcastinga YankeegameRizzuto wasinformedthat PopePaulVI haddied. He commentedon the airr'Well,that kind of puts the damperon evena Yankeewin."' Ar, 48 ROBERT I [Robertthe Bruce](1274-1329), king of Scotland(1305-29).Unableat first to maintainhis kingdomagdinstthe incursionsof his powerful neighbor,Edward I of England, Robertwentually won a crushinguictory ouer the English under Eduard II at the banle of consoliBannoikburn(1314).He subsequently

datedhisposition,fotci@ indef nize^Sce*ish

\'"fuhfu

: iil1328.-

I Therearemanypopularstoriesandlegends about Robert the Bruceand his daringdeeds againstthe English oppressors.One, made fimous by \WalterScott, concernsthe period when Robert the Brucewas on the run from the troops of EdwardI. Hiding in a cave,and and uncersufferingfrom deep despondency tainty as to what he ought to do next, he watcheda smallspiderspinningits web, trying and failing time and time againto secureit properly.The fugitive king read the spider's asa parable andits eventualsuccess perJistence -for by his himself: he mustnot be discouraged failures,but go out and continuethe struggle until he achievedthe liberationof his country. 6ro '.8 ROBERT, Iropold (1794-1835)' Swiss painter and etcher.From 1818 to 1832 be workedin Rome,wlterehe becamefamousfor his picturesof ltalian daily life. He killed himselfout of unrequitedloue. I L€opold Robert, brought up in a piou{ household,washimselfhighlymoral.In 18271 however,he painted two pictures,entitle{ Tuto Girls Disrobingfor Tbeir Bath, that of'l fendedby their "freedom." Robert defende{ himselfby sayingthat, althoughordinarilyal{ his figureswereclothedfrom headto foot, thisl

time he had wantedto choosea different,uU-\ ject.He went on, "But I assureyou that I haveI placedthefiguresin a completelysecluded spot I so that theywould not possiblyencounterany I observationfrom curiousonlookers." I Ar, ..6 ROBINSON, EdwinArlington(1869-1 935), IJSpoet.He won seueralPulitzerprizesfor bis poetry,of which he publisheda numberof uol,tmes.He wasa prothg|of TheodoreRooseuelt. at the I Robinsonusedto spendhissummers New MacDowellColony nearPeterborough, Hampshire.Arrivingat breakfastonemorning, he found the writer Nancy Byrd Turner and a newmemberof thecolonyalreadyseatedat his table. "This is Mr. Robinson," said Nancy Byrd Turner to her companion."Robinson! Not E.A. Robinson- not theMr. Robinson?" gushedthe other woman. There followed a long, uncomfortablepause,then Robinson said,"A Mr. Robinson." TheodoreRoose2 In 1905oneof President velt'ssonsbroughtto his father'sattentiona book of poemsby Robinson,The Childrenof Rooseveltcreatedin the the Nigh/.Impressed, New York CustomHousea sinecurefor the virtuallydestitutepoet."I expectyou to think poetryfirstandcustomssecondr"hetold Robinsonwhenhe took up the post. tRobinsonwasrequiredonly to openhis close desk,readthe morningnewspaper, his desk,and leavethe newspaperon his chair as proof that he had turned up at the office.This lastedfour years,during himself whichtimeRobinsonestablished Taft becamepresident' as a poet. \$(Ihen andintimatedthat Robinsonwould have to put in a full day'swork, the poet resigned.) Ar' 48 ROBINSON, Jackie(L9L9-72),US baseball player.In 1947,asthefirst blackto play-ftaj_o2 h reb ieqtguo with the I On the dry of his first appearance Dodgers,Robinsonkissedhiswife goodbyeat their hotel before settingout. "If you come down to EbbetsField today," he said, "yo,t won't haveany trouble recognizingme." He

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paused for a moment, then added, "My number's 42."

2 Rochefortfound it difficult ke ends meetby his writing.IJ [o obserre,"My fero francs per line - not white spaces."

Ao' q8 ROCHE, Sir Boyle (1743-1807), Irish politician. I Sir Boyle Roche was well known in Parliament and beyond for his extraordinary"bullsr" or lrishisms,someof which arepreseryedin the records of parliamentaryproceedings.He was an ardent advocate of tlie union of England and Ireland in 1800 and declaredthat his love for the two countries was so great that he would like to see"rhe two sistersembracelike one brother." 2 John Philpot Curran took the opposite view to Roche's on the union of England and Ireland, and they often clashedin parliamentary debateson the subject. Replying to some aspersioo,Curran proclaimed that he needed no help from anyone but was well able to be "the guardian of my own honor." "lndeedr" commented Sir Boyle Roche, "why, I always thought the right honorable member was an enemy to sinecures." As' q8 ROCHEFORT, [Victor] Henri, Marquis de Rochefort-Lu eay(1830- 1913),Frenchiournalist. His tumultuous life as a radical iournalist inuolued a series of duels and seueral prison sentences.In the 1890s he was a leader of the anti-Dreyfusards. I On one occasionwhen Rochefort had been arrested,the authorities confronted him with evidenceof his links with inrernationalrevolutionaries. "In one of your drawerswere found two photographs of Garibaldi and Mazzini with their autographs." "That is truer" said Rochefort, "for those two great patriots did send me their photos." "But that is not allr" went on the interrogator, "for there were also seizedseveralpictuies of Henri Rochefort." Somewhat baffled, Rochefort said, "Bur I am Henri Rochefort." "l am not denying that," said the interrogator, "but it is nonethelesssignificantthat you should have so many portraits of thar nororious socialistin your house."

As, ".8

ROCKEFELLER,JohnD[avisonJ, Sr.(1,839I937),US oil magnate andphilanthropist. President of the StandardOil Company,he was a dominantfigrrrt in the oil businessuntil his retirementin 1911.He established four charitable foundations. I Rockefeller found our that his family had ordered an electric car as his surprisebirthday present, to enable him to get around his vast estatemore easily."lf it's all the sameto you,"

saidthe multimillionaire,"l'd rarherhavethe money."

6s' q8 ROCKEFELLER,JohnD[avisonJ, Jr. (15741960),US capitalistand philanthropist,son of John D. Rockefeller,Sr.He was inuoluedwith his father's oil-trade interestsand charitable foundationsand plannedand financedthe RockefellerCenterin New York. I Rockefelleronce madea collect call from r\ goin box, which failed to refund the money he I had put in. He called up the operaror, who I asked for his name and addresi so that the I money could be mailed ro him. Rockefcller I began:"My p.m9 isJohn D. . . .Oh, fcrget it; I you wouldn't believeme any\l/ay." As' a8 ROCKEFELLER, William (1841-tgZZ), brother of ]ohn D. Rockefeller, Sr. William helped to run Standard Oil and to deuelop the company's influence upon the oil market. I The growing Rockefeller empire attracted the attention of the courts owing to concern over the dangersof monopolies.When William Rockefeller was required to appearin court, he decided that his best defensewould lie in the refrain, "l decline to answer on the advice of counsel," as the following exchangeshows: "On the ground that the answerwill incriminate you?" "I decline to answeron the adviceof counsel.tt

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"Or is it that the answer will subject you to some forfeiture?" "l decline to answer on the advice of counsel." "Do you decline on the ground that the answer will disgraceyou?" "I decline to answer on the advice of counsel.tt

"Did your counsel tell you to stlck to tha{ one answer?" "l decline to answer on the adviceof .ourrl sel.tt

At that point the whole court laughter, Rockefeller included.

burstt"r1

Ar, e4 RODGERS, RichardCharles(1902-79),US composer.He collaboratedwith Lorenz Hart onThe Girl Friend(1925)and PalJoey(1940) andwith OscarHammersteinII onOklahoma! (1943)and The Kingand | (1951). I Dick Rodgers'scollaboratorsLarry Hart and OscarHammersteinII werefirst-ratelyric writers.He wasoften askedhow theydiffered. It should be mentionedthat Hart was a very short man, about five feet three inches; Rodgershimselfa few inchestaller;and Ht-: metsleinover six feet.SaidRodgers,"'W'henI recognizedus worked with Larry and people 'The little fellow sxY, they'd walkingtogether, is oka/ but watch out for the big son-of-abitch.'Now, whenI'm with Oscarandam rec'The big ggy is okay,bu! ognized,peoplesay, wltch out for the little son-of-a-bitch.'And that's the differencebetweenworking with Larryand working with Oscar." 2 Rodgerscomposed the score for the musicalCbee-Chrr,the story of which is basedupon a novel by CharlesPettit ,The S?n of the Grgryd Eunuch.Theplot hingesupon the efforts o.fthe hero to avoid being emasculatedin order to inherit his father's exalted office. At the point in the story at which the youth is taken away for the operation Rodgers inserted into the score a few bars from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite. {Rodgers commented, "At almost every perfoimance there were two or three individuals with ears musically sharp , \ .nough to appreciatethe joke.")

USorches-y RODZINSKI, Artur (L892-1958), tra leader,conductorof the New York Philhar- \ monic(1943-47). j I On a vacationRodzinskinoticedthat there \ of an open-aircon- i wasto bea radiobroadcast certconductedby FabienSevitzkyandthat the I programincludedoneof Rodzinski'sown spe- | Fifth Symphony.Tuncialties,Shostakovich's ing in shortly after the concert had begpn, renderingwith '1 Rodzinskilistenedto Sevitzky's t respect."How *.tt he sustaiisthe increasing line!" he"murmured."Listen to that balance! \ He musthavestudiedmy recording."And he \ endedby sayingthat he had doneSevitzkyan i injustice,that he had alwaysthought that he I had no talent but that really he was a gre^t 1 inconductor.At the endof the-performance, I therewasa mo- I steadof the expectedapplause mentof silence.Thenthe announcercameotr, I sayingthattheconcerthadbeenrainedout and I inits f,h.. the stationhadplayeda recordingof ,| Fifth conductedby Artur Rod' ' Shostakovich's zinski. Al,

48

ROGERS, Samuel (I763-1855), British writer. A bankerby profession,Rogersusedhis considerableincomeand ready wit to gather. aroundhim the mostselectliterarycnd artistic personalities of his doy.His TableTalk, edited -after his death, fs particularb ualuedfor the glimpsesit giuesof his celebratedcontemporhries. I Discussingthe approachingmarriageof a lady whom they both knew, Lold Lansdowne observedto Rogersthat shehad madea good match. "I'm not so surer" replied Rogers. "'Uilhynot? All her friends approveit," sai-d "Then sheis ableto satisfy Lord-Lansdowne. everyore," said Rogers. "Her friends are are delighted." pleasedand her enemies 2 Rogershad a considerablerePutationfor wit. Oncewhenaccused hisbitingandsarcastic of beingill-natured,he iustifiedhimselfby sayirg, "They tell meI sayill-naturedthings.I have a weakvoice;if I did not sayill-naturedthings, no one would hearwhat I said." 3 Rogershad a bare, polishedhead and a some*hat cadaverousappearance.He and

\"

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Lord Dudley once spent an hour or two exploring the catacombs in Paris. As they were leaving, the keeper caught sight of Rogers and rushed toward him with a look of horror, shouting, "No, no. You have no right to come out. Go back inside.Go back." Lord Dudley fled from the scene in paroxysms of laughter, leaving Rogers to extricate himself from the situation as best he might. \7hen Rogerslater taxed him for his desertiotr, he replied, "My dear Rogers, you looked so much at home I did not like to interfere." 4 A gathering of society leaderswas praising one of its absentmembers,a young duke who had recently come of age; they extolled his looks, his talents, his wealth, his prospects. . o . In a pausein the chorus of admftation the voice of Rogerscould be heard saying malevolently,"Thank God he has bad reerh!"

"Dear Sirs,I guessyo"ri Rogerssimplyrepli_ed, pianosarethe bestI everleanedagainst.Your{ truly, Will Rogers." I 4 Rogers,havingpaid too much incometax one year,tried in vain to claim a rebate.His numerouslettersand queriesremainedunanswered.Eventuallythe form for the nextyear's return arrived.In the sectionmarked "DEDUCTIONS," Rogerslisted: "Bad debt, US - $40,000." Government &s, eS ROLAND, JeanneManon (I7 54-93),wife of the Frenchstatesman JeanRoland(1734-93). Sheandherhusbandwereoutspokenprotesters againstroyal corruptionand inefficiency,but the reuolutionaryextremists euentuallysent Mme Rolandto theguillotine.At thenewsof his wife's deathher husbandcommittedsuicide.

Ar' 48 ROGERS, Will (1,879-1935),US comedian, who progressedfrom tbe uaudeuille stageto become an internationally known fil* actor and . humorist. His forte wAs political obsentations: { "/ don't make iokes; I iust watcb thi loueiand report tbe facf,s." \ment I One of the many legends about William Randolph Hearst's fabulous weekend houseparties at San Simeon concerns \fill Rogers. Throughout the weekend Hearst kept hilury amusing rhe resr of the company: A few days later Hearst received a large bill from Rogers for senrices as a professional entertainer. Hearst telephonedRogersto protest: "I didn't engageyou as an enteftainer. You were invited as a guest." Rogers retorted, "'W'hen someoneinvites me as a guest,they invite Mrs. Rogers as well. til(hen they ask me to come alone, I come as a professionalentertainer."

2 On a visit to Paris,Rogerssenta picture postcardof the Venusde Milo to his young niece.On the back he wrote: "Seewhat witl happento you if you don't srop biting your fingernails." {This anecdoteis told of others.} / I I )

I Rogers had been asked by r firm of piano manufacturers to write a short testimonial for their instrumenrs. Unwilling ro endorse any product that he could nor pur ro the rest,

I Mme Roland'scalmcouragein prisonand at her execution becamefamous. As she mountedthe stepsto theguillotine,shelooked toward the claystatueof Liberty serup in the Placede la R€volutionand exclaimed,"O libert6!O liberte!Que de crimeson commeten ton nom!" (Ohliberty!Oh liberty!til7hatcrimes arecommittedin thy name!) As' 48 ROMANOFF, Mike [Harry F. Gergusonl (1890-1972),US restaurateur. He was h wellknown figrrt in Hollywood in the 1940sand 1950s,claimingto be a Russianprince. 1 There were numerous Russian emigrCsin New York in the 1,920s,and someoneinvited the Grand Duke Dmitri of Russiaro meer his "kinsman." The grand duke looked at Mike Romanoff with deepsuspiciotr,then addressed Iti-. rpjdly- in Russian. The bogus prince headed for the exir, saying,"l donit think we should insult our hosts by talking in any languagebut theirs." 2 Another attempt to discountenance Romanoff was made by r young acror playingwith Romanoff in Frank Sinarra's Tony Rome in 1967. The actor addressedthe restaurateurin fluent Russian,but was met by ^look of freezitg disdain. Afterward Romanoff complained, "The vulgarity of a srranger'sspeakingio me in

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that tongue!We never spoke anything but Frenchat court." 6., 48 ROOSEVELT, [Anna]Eleanor(1S84-1962), USwriter and lecturer,wife of Franklin Delano Her writings includeIt's Up to the Rooseuelt. Women (1933)and The Moral Basisof Democracy (1940).

to the idea of a woman's holding real power, had a stormy meetingwith the presidentabout ' the appointment. According to a Washington I story current at the time, Mrs. Rooseveltsym' pathizedwith her husband over the confrontation. "That's all rightr" he replied. "l'd rather have trouble with them for an hour than trouble with you for the rest of my life." 3 The novelist Fannie Hurst wanted to surprise FDR with the change in her appearance since she had been on a diet. She managedto slip unannouncedinto his office.The president looked up as sheentered,then gesturedfor her to turn around in front of him. When shecompleted the turn, he commented, "The Hurst may havechanged,but it's the sameold fanny."

I In her last yearsEleanorRooseveltwas well as probablythe mosteasilyrecognizedras the mostbeloved,womanin theUnitedStates. At this periodracialintolerancewasstill quite marked. Shewaswalkingoned^y on a crowdedstreet in GreenwichVillage, New York, during a rainstorffi,when a stationwagonbackedinto her,knockingher down. Shegot up andwithout hesitationorderedthe driverto makeoff at oncewithout delay.Then,her ligamentstorn, shehobbled off to her next speakingengagement. The driver wasblack.

4 Eleanor Roosevelt was particularly fond of sweetbreads.In one week they appearedon the rU7hiteHouse menu no fewer than six times. The president eventually complained in a note to hii wife: "I am getting to the point where my stomachrebels,and this does not help my relations with foreign powers. I bit two of them today."

A'' '-a'8 ROOSEVELT, Franklin Delano (18821945), US statesman;32d president of the UnitedStates(1933-45).Despitean attackof polio in 1921that left him paralyzedfrom the waist down and threatenedto end his public gouer"nor of NeutYork became career,Rooseuelt Stateand the only IIS presidentto beelectedfor four terrrrs.The economicmeasuresof Rooseuelt'sNew Deal enabledthe countryto recouer from the Depressionof the 7930s.After the bombingof Pearl Harbor by the Japanesein 1941, Rooseuelt took the United Statesinto World'War II. He died in officeiust beforetbe end of tbe wAr.

,'5 The many detailswhich an inaugural committee must cope with in a short time inevitably produce a few mistakes.Thus FDR, in 1937, receivedan invitation to his own inauguration. i Through the r$fhite House social bureau he , solemnly sent word that the press of official ; businesswould keep him away. Then, relenti ing, he sent a further note in his own handwrit, ing: "I have rearranged my en€agemgnls.and ' think I may be able to go. Will know definitely January19. F.D.R." 6 It is said that Roosevelt once made a telephone call to Joseph Stalin during the days of friendship between the United Statesand the Soviet Union. The call had to pass through a number of operators, but finally the connection was made. "Hello, Joe?" said Roosevelt. "It's Frank. Giants three, Dodgers nothittg." {Almost surely apocryphal but how one wishes it weren't!)

wasintroducedto I Asa smallboyRoosevelt put hishandon Cleveland Cleveland. President the child'sheadandsaid,"I'm makinga strange wish for you, little man,a wish I supposeno one elsewould make.I wish for you that you mayneverbe presidentof the UnitedStates." '

I''

2 FDR appointedFrancesPerkinsas secre- I Z Roosevelt found the polite small talk of rilThiteHouse somewhat taryof labor- the firstwomanto hold a cabiI social functions at the j men who of several heads the net office over i tedious. He maintained that those present on for the positionby labor i', such occasions rarely paid much attention to had beensuggested leaders.The tradeunionists,opposedasalways i what was said to them. to illustrate the point,

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he would sometimesamusehimself by greeting i 2 S7hen the hotel in which Vice President guestswigh the words, "l murdered my grandI Roosevelt was staying caught fire, he was ormother this morning." The responsewas in- ! dered down to the lobby with the orher guests. variably one of polite approval. On one occa- / After some time, prevented from returning to sion, however,the presidenthappenedupon an { his room, he protested:"But I'm the vice presiattentive listetler.On hearingRoosevelt'sout- I dent!" rageous remark, the guest replied diplomati- { "Oh, that's differert," said the hotel official. cally, "I'm sure she had it coming to her." Then, as Teddy started up the stairs, "Wait a i 'What minute. are you vice president of ?" {Maxwell Perkins,the distinguishededii tor, pepperedhis own small talk similarly I "Why, of the United Stares,of course!" at literary gatherings.Evidently writers, "Then get the hell back down rhere. I I as well as politicians,don't listen to one I thought you were vice presidentof this hotel!" another.) | 3 Before retiring to bed, Roosevelt and his friend the naturalist tilTilliamBeebewould go ROOSEVELT, Theodore(185S-1919), US out and look at the skies,searchingfor a riny statesman;25th presidentof the United States patch of light near the constellationof Pegasus. (1901-09).A sickly bo.y;Rooseuelt becamea "That is the SpiralGalaxyin Andromeda," rhey toughand self-sufficient man who workedas a would chant. "lt is aslargeasour Milky \Vay. It rancher,went big-gamehunting,and fought in is one of a hundred million galaxies.Ir consists the Spani;h-AmericanWar (1898).As presiof one hundred billion suns, each larger than dent, he centeredhis domesticpolicieson ltis our sun." Then Rooseveltwould turn to his SquareDealprogramto improuethelot of ordicompanion and soy,"Now I think we are small nary citizensand his foreignpolicy on the dicenough.Let's go to bed."

tum " Speaksoftlyand carrya big stick." In his administration,USinfluenceon Lptin America increasedand control was established ouertbe PanamaCanal. I During his time asa rancher,Rooseveltand one of his cowpunchers,riding over the range, lassoeda maverick, a two-year-old steer that had neverbeenbranded.They lit a fire then and there and prepared the branding irons. The part of the range they were on was claimed by Gregor Lang, one of Roosevelt's neighbors. According to the rule among cattlemen the steer therefore belonged to Lang, having been found on his land. As the cowboy applied the brand, Roosevelt said, "'Wait, it should be Lang's brand, a thistle." "That's all right, boss," said the cowboy, continuing to apply the brand. "But you're putting on my brand." "That's right," said the man, "I always put on the boss'sbrand." "Drop that ironr" said Roosevelt, "and get back to the ranch and get out. I don't needyou anymore.t' The cowboy protested, but Roosevelt was adamant. "A man who will steal for me will steal from ffi€," he declared. So the cowboy went, and the story spread all over the Badlands.

4 Some of Roosevelt'scritics complainedof his tendencyto introduce moral issuesin matters where none existed.Speakerof the House ThomasB. Reedonce told Roosevelt,"lf there is one thing more than another for which I admire you, Theodore, it is your original discovery of the Ten Commandments." 5 Shot in the chest in an assassinationartempt in October L912, Rooseveltwas determined to carry on with the speechhe had been about to make."I will deliverthis speechor die, one or the otherr" he declared. {He gave the speechand after fifty minutes allowed himself to be taken to hospital for treatment.) 6 Shortly before he left the White House, Roosevelt,planning a big-gamehunting trip to Africa, heard that a famous white hunrer was visiting rilTashington.He invited the man ro come along and give him some advice.After a two-hour t€te-i-tOtethe hunter came our of the president's office looking dazed. "'What did you tell the president?" someone asked idly. "My name," said the bemused visitor. "After that he did all the talking."

A+ ".8

477

ROSENTHAL

ROOSEVELT, Theodore,Jr. (1887-1944), US soldier,explorer,and politician, the son of PresidentTheodoreRooseuelt.He sentedas a maior and lieutenantcolonelin World'War I and as a brigadiergeneralin World War II. Betweenthe wars he led expeditionsto Asia (1925, 1928-29)and was gouernorof Puerto Rico(1929-32)and of the Philippines(193233). I Roosevelthad arrangedto meethis wife's train. Arrivingat the railroadstationat the appointedtime,he wasdismayedto seethe train speedpastthe platformwithout stopping.His wife wavedanxiouslyfrom the rearcarrtossing out an envelopeas she passedher husband. Rooseveltretrievedthe envelopewith some difficultyand wasamusedto readthe follow"DearTed:Thistraindoesn'tstop ingmessage: here." 4., .8 ROOT, Elihu (1S45-1937),US lawyer and statesman.He becamesecretaryof stateunder PresidentTheodoreRooseueltand later was senatorfor New York. He won the NobelPeace Prizein 191,2. a frail old man in his eighties,Root I rU7hen visitedby SolM. Linowitz,who frequently was usedto readto him. One dty Root askedthe youngmanwhat he wantedto do in life. Linowitz replied,"I'm not sure.Maybebea rabbior perhapsa lawyer."Root'sreplywasimmediate: z'Bea lawyer.A lawyer needstwice as much religionasa rabbi." {Linowitz took Root's adviceand belawyeranda roving camea distinguished ambassadorin the Carter administration.) A.' {S 833-98),Frenchpainter,enROPS,Fdlicien(1" grauer,and lithographer;illustratorof poemsby SthphaneMallarm1. I Art dealerAmbroiseVollard had occasion to visit Rops a few yearsbeforethe painter's warned him: "I'm expectinga death. Rops 'S7hen the bell ringsthreetimes,you woman. must leaveby the other end of the studio." After sometime the bell rangaspredictedand Vollard took hisleave.Glancingbehindhim as he closedthe door, he sawan old housemaid

enterthe room. 'oComenow, monsieufr"she said,"it's time for your tisane"(herbaltea). As, .8 ROSENBLOOM, Max (1,904-76), US light boxer,world championin 1.930. heauyweight because of hisskill as I CalledSlapsie-Maxie gloriedin hisability a deft boxer,Rosenbloom to win decisionswithout resortingto such crudetacticsasactualknockdowns.Onceone of his openglovesmadecontact,and his bewildered opponentcollapsedon the canvas. Bellowed Maxie, "I7hy, you dirty doublecrossingrat!" Al, ..6 ROSENTHAL, Moriz (1852-1946),Polish' born pianist. He studiedwith Liszt and was court pianist to the emperorof Austria and tbe queenof RumaniA.He alsoplayedfor ten seasonsin the UnitedStates. I

One d^y Rosenthalwas corneredinto hear-\

ing a recitalgivenby mediocrestringquartet. \7hen the ordealwas"over,the secondviolinist hurriedoverto themaestroto hearhisopinion. "How did you like it?" he asked."Excellentr" The playerwasstill unsatisfied. lied Rosenthal. "And our tempi- did theysuityou?"he went on. "Brilliartr" said Rosenthal,"brilliantyours." especially 2 When Rosenthalheard that pianistArtur Schnabelhad failed his physicalfor the army, he said,"What did you expect?No fingers!" {This remarkis alsoattributedto others about others.) 3 Coercedinto listeningto a child prodigy, Rosenthalasked the boy how old he was. "Sevenr"saidthe child. "What areyou goingto play for me?" "The Tchaikovskyconcerto,sir." "Too old!" saidRosenthal. 4 Rosenthal used to make fun of a fellow\i pianist much givento playing Liszt'ssixth Hun- ! garianRhapsodyat atempo Rosenthalconsid- i Ired far tob slow. On oni occasionhe invited \ this friend to come and seehim. The man ex- l cused himself, saying that he did not have the I time. "Nonsense!" retorted Rosenthal."If you i have time to play the sixth rhapsody like that, j you certainly have time to pay me a visit." I

R O SS

ROSS, Harold (1892-1951), US iournalist, founder, and for many yearseditor of The New Yorker. | (Rossbeganhis journalistic careerat the age of fourteen as a reporter on the Salt Lake City Tribune.) "One of his assignmentsthere was to interview the madam of a house of prostitution. Always self-consciousand usually uncomfortable in the presence of all but his closest women friends, the young reporter began by sayingto the bad woman (he divided the other 'How many fallen sex into good and bad), women do you have?"' 2 Shortly after Ross had obtained his discharge from the armed forces at the end of \7orld \Var I, he met the former war secretary, Newton D. Baker. He and Ross discussedthe war at length, and Rosswas delightedwith the frankness with which Baker covered a wide range of topics. Taking leave of him, Ross remarked, "Well, Mr. Secretary,that cleansup everything except how Joe Higgins was made corporal of my squad." 3 RosslaunchedThe New Yorkerin 1 925on a shoestring budget. The magazine'sfinances continued to be very shaky for some time; its equipment and resourceswere therefore minimal. When Ross asked Dorothy Parker why she had not come in to do a piece she had promised him, sheretorted, "someone elsewas using the pencil." 4 (Ross'sunavailing but persistenratrempts to bring order to the officesof The New Yorker made life miserable for a seriesof assistanrs, who included Thurber and M. B. Levick.) "Levick's final frantic responsero the editor's demand for a method of keepingtrack of everything was an enormous sheet of cardboard, six feet by four, divided into at least eight hundred squares,with fine hand lettering in each of them covering all phases of the scheduling of departments and other office rigmaroles.This complicatedcaricatureof System, this concentration of all known procedural facts, hung on a wall of the Talk meeting room until one d^y it fell down of its own weight. Ross had stared at it now and then without saying a word. \(/hen it crashed, he 'Get rid told his secretaryr of that thing."'

478 5 A promisingyounglad soughta placeon the staff of The New Yorkerand Rosshired him. "Don't be too pleased with yourself,"he warnedthe new employee,"l hire any damn fool who stickshis nosein here.And don't think you'll be startingas a reporter.You'll beginasmanagingeditor,like everyoneelse." (ln a variant of this story, the new memberof staff is identifiedas James Thurber.) 6 As a practicalioke Thurberoncerolledt\ yerylargewaterbottle alongthe corridorpastI the officesof The New Yorker.Hearingthe I edi-| racket,R.ossinstructedthe new managing tor: "Go and find out what the hell is happ.nI ing.But don't tell me." 7 In a pieceby S.J.Perelman,Rossnoticedan allusionto "the woman taken in adultery." He wrote in the margin, "What woman? Hasn't been previouslymentioned."

8 For years Harold Ross had The Nai Yorker'scover-design character,EustaceTil- I l.y, listedin the Manhatrantelephonebook.f He was delightedwhen the city aurhoritiesf eventuallysent this imaginaryfigure a per-{ sonal-property tax bill. i 9 Ross'sturnout was never very smart. After a winter sports holiday in Connecticut with Franklin P. Adams,someoneaskedRoss'shost what Ross had looked like tobogganing. "'Well, you know what Ross looks like not tobogganing," said Adams. 10 Hemingway's Death in the Afternoon was reviewed for The l,trewYorker by critic Robert M. Coates.After he had read the review, Ross telephoned Coates in the country and said, "'Woollcott tellsme there'sa hell of abad word in the book - bathroom stuff." Coates asked what the word was. "l can't tell you over the phoner" said Ross. (PeterDe Vries tellsthe story of Rossar an ll art meeting during which sketches were selected for possible inclusion in The New Yorker.) "The cover on the board showed a Model T driving along a dusty country road, and Ross turned his sharpshootingeyeon it for afull two minutes. 'Take this down, Miss Terry,' he said. 'Better dust.' "

479 12 Many of Ross'sNelz Yorkerwriterswere lured away to Hollywood. \(/hen John McNulty headedwest,Rossbadehim farewell as"a memorable with what Thurberdescribes tagline":"'Well,God blessyou,McNulty, goddamnit." SeealsoJeuns THunnER1,0. 13 A rivalcartoonistoncegrumbledto Ross, "Why do you reject my drawingsand print stuff by that fifth-rateaftist, Thurber?" "Third -rater"correctedRoss. ll,l935,King EdwardVIII 14 On December of GreatBritainbroadcastto the world hishisAt toric "the womanI love" abdicationspeech. a cocktail party in New York, the polished No€l Coward and the unbuttoned Harold Rossburstinto Rosslistenedto the broadcast. uncontrollablelaughter.Coward,an Establishment man to his fingertipt,was shocked,and reprovedRoss for this unseemlyexhibition. Rosswould havenone of it. "You meanr"he saidincredulously,"the king of Englandruns awaywith an old Americanhooker and that ain't funny?" {Ross'syouthful puritanism- seeRoss 1 - seemsto havemellowedsomewhat with age.) Ar, '.6 ROSSETTI, DanteGabriel(182S-82),British i ioinedwith painterand poet.ln 1848Rosseff Holman Hunt, William Millais, Euerett ]ohn Brotherand othersto found thePre-Raphaelite hoodand editeditsiounnal,The Germ (185051),in wbicb someof his bestpoems,including "The BlessedDamozel," were published.He married(1850)ElizabethSiddal,the modelfor many of his paintingson medieualor religious subiects. I Rossettiannouncedthat he wantedto-.buy an elephant,and,when his friendsasked'what on earthfor, he replied,"So L.sdfrteachit to \ilfhenthey washthe windows of r-ny-h6use." still seemedpuzzlefo{teadded,"Then everyone would sta#'and say, 'That elephantis washingjF'windows of the housein which lives E{nte GabrielRossetti,the famousart1.9't.}t' ' 2 \il7henRossetti'sbeautifulwife, Elizabeth Siddal, killed herself with an overdoseof

ROSSINI

laudanum in 1,862,just two years after their marriage, Rossetti's grief was ovenvhelming. Most of his poems had been written for her or to her. At her burial he wrapped the little book containing the unique copiesof thesepoems in her long golden hair and consignedthem to the grave with her. As the years passed,Rossetti beganto think with regret of the poems that he had lost, concluding that it was pointless to leavesome of the finestworks he had produced to molder in the grave with the dead. After much businessto obtain permission,the grave was opened and the book retrieved. Its con-

tents,with a few additions,werepublishedin ,' 1870underthe titl e Poems,and the book wxs;' immediatelysuccessful. 3 The negotiationson behalf of the Livefpool art gall.ry to buy Rossetti'sgreatpicture Dante'sDream seemedlikely to be abortive when Rossetddiscoveredthat oF€ of the inter-

had mediarieswas a critic who bd'considered insultedhim. A third pa#{, calledin to make peace, succeededin -gonvincing Rossetti that the man was "quyfrgood fellow at bottom." Rossetti obsendd afterward, "I did not mencamehere he had better take care tion that if."h:e that the'placeat which he was a good fellow did

)?.rf.et

kicked"' A.' 4

ROSSINI, GioacchinoAntonio (1792-1868), Italian composer.He wasan outstandinglysuc' cessfulcomposerof operas,many still in the The ItalianGirl in repertoire:Tancredi(1.8L3), Algiers(1813),The Barberof Seville(1816), The ThievingMagpie(1817),andWilliamTell his (1529).TonrrredosRossinicommemorates as a cook. inuentiueness 1 JacquesFrancoisHal€vy,anotherpopular composer,wasdrivennearlyto distractionby an organ-grinderwho had stationedhimself outsidehis window andwasbusygrindingout the hit tunesfrom his rival'sBarberof Seuille. Haldvywent out and saidto the man, "I will giveyou one louis d'or if you will go to Rossini'slodgingsandplayoneof my tunesoutside smiled."But, his window." The organ-grinder monsieur,M. Rossinihas paid me two louis d'or to play his musicoutsideyour window." 2 In a Parismusicstorein 1856Rossiniencounteredthe celebratedmusic thcorist and

ROSSINI

scholar Francois-JosephF€tis. On the counter was displayed Feti s'sTreatise on Counterpoint and Fugue."Must all this be learned?"inquired Rossini,gesturingtoward the volume. "No t at all," replied Fetis. "You yourself arethe living proof to the contra ry." 3 Rossini congratulated the diva Adelina Patti on her singing. "Madame, I have cried only twice in my life," he informed her, "once when I dropped a wing of truffled chicken inro Lake Como, and once when for the first time I heard you sing." 4 A singer gave a rendering of Rossini's famous arra "Una uoce," embellished with many showy fioriture. Vlhen she had finished, Rossini courteously congratulated her upon her technique."And whose is the music?" he asked. 5 Rossini, who usually marked errors in his pupil's compositions with crosses,returned a manuscript to a mediocre student with very few crosses on it. The young man was delighted. "l'm so pleasedthere are so few mistakes," he said happily. "If I had marked all the blunders in the music with crosses,your score would havelooked like a cemeteryr"said Rossini. 6 After a particularly excellent meal, Rossini's hostessturned to him and said he had done her a greathonor by acceptingher invitation. She hoped he would dine with her again soon. "Right awayr" said Rossini enthusiastically.

{ 7 An oboist in an orchestrathat Rossini was

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conducting played an F-shatp instead of an F. Rossinicorrectedhim, then added consolingly, "In regardto the F-sharp,don't worry about it; we'll find some other place to fit it in." 8 Rossini attended a concert rhat included a set of variationson an afiafrom his own Moses in Egypt, played on musical glassesfilled with water to various levelsto sound the right pitch. After the tenth variatiotr, Rossini's companion suggestedthat they walk out. "Not until this gentleman has finished washing Moses," replied Rossini.

480 9 One d^y a composer unknown to Rossini brought him the scoresof two oratorios, seeking his opinion. Rossinitried to excusehimself, citing poor health. But the composerinsisted, statingthat he would return in a week for Rossini's judgment. He did so, finding Rossini in his armchair, sereneand smiling, but quick to saythat he had beenso ill and had slept so little that he had been able to examineonly one of the scores."And what did you think of it?" was the eagerquestion. "There are good things in it but I prefer the other one." 10 I7hen Rossini was old and eminent but still not rich, a group of his admirers raised a subscription of twenty thousand francs for a statueto their hero. "Give me the twenty thousatrd," said Rossini, "and I'll stand on the pedestalmyself." As' a8 ROTHSCHILD, Sir Nathan Meyer, 1sr Baron (1840-1915), member of the London branch of the famous family of ] ewish financiers. He was A member of Parliament (155585)and the first ] ew to be admitted to the House of Lords (LSSS). 1 Alighting from a hansom cab one evening, Lord Rothschild gavethe driver what he felt to be an adequate tip. "Your lordship" son always gives me a good deal more than rhis," said the driver, eyeingthe money disdainfully. "l daresayhe does," retorted Lord Rothschild. "But then, you see,he has got a rich father: I haven't." As' q8 ROUTH, Martin (1755-1854),British Academic, president of Magdalen College, Oxford, for sixty-threeyears (179 1-1854). 1 The ups and downs of collegelife had little effect on the Venerable Dr. Routh, as he was generallycalled. A breathlessdon once stumbled into the president's room, gasping, "A Fellow of this college has killed himself!" Dr. Routh held up a calming hand. "Pray don't tell me who," he is reported to have said. "Allow me to guess." 2 An admirer asked Dr. Routh for a precept that could seffe as a rule of life to an aspiring young man. The president thought for a

481 moment and then said, "I think, sir, sinceyou come for the adviceof an old man, sir, you will find it a very good practice always to uerify your references!" 3 Routh sufferedan injury that troubled him for along time; it was causedwhen he reached up for a weighty volume on a high shelf and the book fell, striking his left l.g. The elderly was incensed."To be lamed by book scholar I1 " written by a dunce!" he cried. "A worthless i volume! A worthless volume!" 4., 48 I

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ROWLAND, Henry Augustus (1848- 190L), US physicist, professor of physics at Johns Hopkins Uniuersity (1575-1.901).He laid the foundation for modern spectroscopy. I Professor Rowland was summoned as an expert witness at a trial. During cross-examination a lawyer demanded,"'What are your qualifications as an expert witness in this case?" "l am the greatestliving expert on the subiect under discussion," replied the professor quietly. Later a friend, well acquainted with the professor's modest and retiring disposition, observed that he had been amazedto hear him praisehimself in this way; it was completely out of character. Rowland asked, "Well, what did you expect me to do? I was under oath." {This anecdote is also told of others.} Al, ..S Anton (L829-94), Russian RUBINSTEIN, pianist and composer. He wrote numerous works for the piano, as well as operas and orchestral works. His concerts were acclaimed throughout Europe. In 1852 he founded the St. PetersburgC onsentatoire. 4 The telephone rang at abad time while the rfraestrowas practicing. His seryant, Frangois, fnswered the phone. It was a feminine voice /tenderly asking to speak with Rubinstein. Al/though the sounds of the piano were clearly 'audible, Francoisassuredthe lady that Rubin|tein was not in. "But I hear him playingr" she paid. "You arc mistaken, madamer" replied Frangois. "l'm dusting the piano keys."

Anton Rubinsteinliked to sleeplatein the I fZ Iv 1I mornings,often missingearlyappointmentsas

RUGGLES

a result.Mme Rubinsteinworkedout a ruseto get him out of bed. Shewould play an unresolvedchord on the piano upsrairs,and her husband, who couldnot bearunresolved dissonances,would run up in his nightshirtto resolveit into a perfecttriad.While he did this, Mme Rubinsteinwould sneakdownstairsand removethe bedclothesto preventhim from returningto bed. {If this is apocryphal,it is nonetheless characteristic of Rubinstein.) Ar, 48 RUBINSTEIN, Arthur (1885-1982),Polishbornpianist,who becameaUS citizenin 1946. His interpretationof ChoPin was the foundation of his internationalreputation. 1 (Clifton Fadimanrecallsa lunch with Rubinstein.) 'o'We. . awaited him in the restaurant. He entered, his stride thirty-five years his junior,satdown at the table,ordereddrinksin he speakshe Italian (from the eightlanguages selectsoneasan ordinarymanwould a tie),and startedto apologize:'So sorry to be late.For two hoursI havebeenat my lawyer's,making of a 1 this business \)(rhata nuisance, a testament. one ar- | testament.One figures,one schemes, ranges,and in the end- what?It is practicallyI impossibleto leaveanythingfor yourself!"' I 2 Rubinsteinwas standingin the lobby of a concert hall watching the capacity crowd streamingin to hear one of his recitals.The attendantat the box office,thinking that he hadnot seenthe "SOLD OUT" sign,calledout to him, "l'm sorry,mister,but we can't seat you.tt

"May I be seated at the piano?" inquired Rubinstein meekly.

3 During a radio interviewwith Rubinstein, the conversationtook a sharpturn awayfrom music when the interviewersuddenlyasked, "Mr. Rubinstein,do you believein God?"Rubinsteincalmlyreplied,"No. You see,what I believein is somethingmuch greater." Ar, '.8 RUGGLES,Carl (I876-L971),US composer. I Henry Cowell, visitingRuggl.r at his stu- \ dio, found the composerat his piano playing \

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RUGGLES

the same chordal agglomerate over and over I again. o''What Eventually Cowell shouted, on

I

earth are you doing to that chord?You've been playingit for at leastan hour." Rugglesshouted I back, "I'm giving it the test of time."

1{' I

As' ..6 RUSKIN, John (1819-1900), British critic and social reformer; SladeProfessorof Fine Arts at Oxford (1870-84). Ruskin's works, such as Modern Painters (1843-50), SevenLamps of Architecture (1849),and The Stonesof Venice (1851-53), did much to mold Victorian attitudes toward art and architectrtre.In the 1850s lte becameincreasinglypreoccupied witb social and economic questions and instigated seueral practical experiments in the reuiual of smallscale craft industries, such as linen-weat)ing. I In accordancewith his ideason the dignity of labor Ruskin encouragedhis Oxford srudents to try their hand ar manual work. He hit on the scheme of building a road from the nearby village of Nonh Hinksey ro Oxford to enable the villagers to reach the rown by a direct route across low-lying and often muddy fields. Among the undergraduateshe recruited was- of all people- OscarWilde. They set ro work with a will under the direction of Ruskin's gardener, but somehow the charms of manual labor diminished after a while and the road was never completed. Final comment on the episodecame from an anonymous resident of North Hinksey: "I don'r think the young gentlemendid much harm." {The line of the road was sdll visible in the mid-1960s.)

2 In the heydayof his careeras arr critic, Ruskinusedalwaysto maintainthat it should in no way affecthis friendshipwirh an arristif hepannedhiswork. Theartists,of course,saw mattersin a ratherdifferentlight. "Next time I meetyou I shallknock you down," oneof his victims retorted, "but I trust it will make no differenceto our friendship." 3 Ruskin, tro lover of technologicalprogress, was asked to comment on the completion of the British-Indian cable. "'What havewe ro say to India?" he asked. Ao, ..6

RUSSELL,BertrandArthur William, 3d Earl (1872-1970), His PrinciBritishphilosopher. (1910-13),writtenwithA. N. piaMathematica Whitehead,exploredthe relationshipbetween puremathematics andlogic.He campaigned for numeroussocial,political, and moral cnuses, suffering imprisonmentfo, pacifism during World War I (1915)and for ciuil disobedience duringthe Campaignfor N uclearD i sarmament (1961).He won the 1950NobelPrizefor literature. 1 The Americanpublisher\Tilliam Jovanovich in his studentdaysat Harvardoften ateat a cafeteriathat servedcheap,ratherbad food. BertrandRussellalsousedto eat ar rhe same place.One d^y Jovanovich,unableto resrrain his curiosity,saidto Russell,"Mr. Russell,I know why I eathere.It is because I am poor; but why do you eathere?"Russell replied,"BecauseI am neverinterrupted." 2 Russell's friendG. H. Hatdy,who became Professor of puremathematics at Cambridge in 193I, once told him that if he could find a proof that Russellwould die in five minures' time,he would naturallybe sorryto losehim, but the sorrowwould be quiteoutweighedby pleasure in the proof. Russell,wisein the ways of mathematicians, observed,"l entirelysympathizedwith him andwasnor at all offended." 3 (G. H. Hardy reporrsa nightmareonceexperiencedby BertrandRussell.In his dreamhe foundhimselfon the rop floor of agrearlibrary in aboutAD2100.) "A library assistantwas going around the shelvescarryingan enormousbucket, taking down book after book, glancingar them,restoringthem to the shelvesor dumpingthem into the bucket,At lasthe camero rhreelarge volumeswhich Russellcouldrecognize asthe last survivingcopy of PrincipiaMathematica. He took downoneof thevolumes,turnedover a few pages,seemedpuzzledfor a momentby thecurioussymbolism, closedthevolume,balancedit in his handsand hesitated. . ." 4 A certain writer had compiled a book that incorporated, without acknowledgment, a good many of Russell's ideas. The plagiarist then approachedRusselland asked him if he would compose an introduction for the

483

R U S S E L L J, O H N

completed text. Russell's succinct reply: "Modesty forbids." 5 S7henBertrandRussellrefusedto grantintenriewsaftera seriousillnessin China,in L920, presscarriedthe newshe a resentfulJapanese haddied.EvenwhenRussellappealed to them, they refusedto retract the story. On his way homehe stoppedin Japan,and the pressagain soughtto interviewhim. By way of reprisalhe hadhissecretaryhandout printedslipsto each reporter.The slipsread:"SinceMr. Russellis deadhe cannotbe interoiewed." (Reportsof prematuredeatharenot uncomm

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6 Russellwasonceaskedwhetherhe would be preparedto die for his beliefs."Of course notr" he replied.t'After all, I may be wrong." oncefound the 7 A youngfriendof Russell's philosopherin a stateof profoundcontemplation. "\ilflhy so meditative?"askedthe young man. "BecauseI've madean odd discovetyr" repliedRussell."Everytime I talk to a savantI feel quite sure that happinessis no longer a possibility.Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convincedof the opposite."

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Ar' e8 RUSSELL, Bill (L934- ), US basketball player.A greatstar,heled the Uniuersityof San Francisco to two national collegiatetitles in and the BostonCelticsto eleuen threeseAsons nationalprofessionaltitles in thirteenselsons. As a coach,be guided the Celticsto two more crowns. I Russellwas a tall center famous for his unselfish team play. Off court he became well known for his philosophy of life. To an attractive young lady he met at aparty he said, "You can get anything you want in life if you are willing to give up enough to get it." "I want a lot of motreyr" replied the girl, "but I come from a poor family, I have little education, and I have no specialtalents." "You could become a prostitute." "That's a terrible thing to say to someone you just met and don't know. I would neverdo such a thing.'o "I didn't meanto insult your" saidRussell."I was just proving my point. You're a pretty lady.

You could become a high-priced prostitute if you wanted money badly enough.App"rently, you don't want it enough to give up your virtue. But, if you wanted money badly enough, and were willing to give up something that's precious to you, you could get it."

2 Russelland \7ilt Chamberlainwere both defensivestarsin the 1960s.Russell'steams took eleventitles while \7ilt's won only two. Chamberlain, however, received the first contractin basketball. When $100,000-a-year Russellwas offereda similardeal,he insisted on a contractcallingfor $100,001.Needling hisarch-rival,Russellremarked,"Poor Wilt alwaysa dollar short and a basketlate." &r' 4S RUSSELL, George William (1,857-1935), lrish poet who wrote under the pseudonym "AE.'; His ptay Deirdre(1902)wis largelyinstrumentalin the formation of the lrish National Theatre.His poetrydrawson a mystical senseof theancientwisdomin lrish folkloreand history. I The Americandramaticcritic GeorgeJean Nathanwasonceat aDublingatheringof literary figures.A disputearosein the courseof whichRussell,crimsonwith indignation,stood up and poundedthe table.Nathan remarked, "AE's Irish rose." 2 When AE wasin Hamburg,he wasoffered 'oI a drink. o'No,thankyour" he said. wasborn intoxicated." Ary 48 RUSSELL,John,lst Earl (1792-187S),British primeminister(1846-52, 7855-56). statesman; A lifelong Whig, Russellwas instramental in draftingthe 1832Reform Bill and in 1"835,as homesecretary(1535-39),u)asresponsible fo, introducing the Municipal Reform Act. His characteras a politician was admirably describedby SydneySmith: "He would perform the operationfor the stane,build St.Peter's,or assume- with or without ten minutes'notice -the commandof the Channelfleet,and no one uould discouerby bis mannerthat the patient had died, the church tumbleddown, and the Channelfleethad beenknockedto atoms."

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I During a fiery debate,the Tory Sir Francis Burdett objected to somesentimentsfrom the other side that he called "the cant of patriotism." Russellimmediatelyretorted, "There is something worse than the cant of patriotism; that is the recant of patriotism." 2 Russell was telling a friend about a party and how he had left the Duchessof Inverness and gone to talk to the Duchessof Sutherland becausethe Duchessof Invernesshad beensitting very close to the fire and it had been intolerably hot. "l hope you told the Duchessof Inverness why you abandoned her," commented his friend. Russellreflected,then said, "No - but I did tell the Duchessof Sutherland."

I

3 Asked his opinion as to what would be the proper punishment for bigamy, Russell promptly answered,"Two mothers-in-la\ry." A.* q8 RUTH, George Herman ["Babe"] (1S951948),US baseballplayer. In 1927 he hit sixty home runs - a record unbroken until 1961. I During the DepressionBabeRuth, askedto take a cut in salary,held out for his $80,000 contract. A club official protested, "But that's more money than Hoover gor for beingpresident last year." "l know," said the Babe,"but I had a better year." 2 Babe Ruth was enormously popular, a larger-than-life-sizefigure in many respecrs, given to overeating and overdrinking. The most notorious occasionwas in the courseof preseasontraining when, on a railroad ride to New York, the Babegot off at a train srop and consumed an estimated twelve hot dogs and eight bottles of lemon-lime soda pop in a few minutes. Soon afterward he was stricken with "the stomachacheheard 'round the world." (Lesspublicizedwere rumors that he had contributed to his miserywith the consumption of large amounts of beer and booze.) For days ominous headlines had his fans across the country fearingfor his life. Recovering,Ruth is reported to have said, "That soda pop will get you every time."

3 Babe Ruth loved kids. On one occasion when the family of a fan of the Babe's,a youngster who was seriously ill in the hospital, requestedan autographed baseballfor the boy, the Babe went along to the hospital himself gavehim the basebil, and promised to hit j home run for him in the game that afternoorl. Sure enough, the Babe came through with the home run. The lad recoveredand Babe Ruth observed,"Best medicinein the world, a home run.tt

4 "Grantland Rice, the prince of sportswriters, used to do a weekly radio intenriew with some sporting figure. Frequently, in the interest of spontaneity, he would type out questions and answersin advance.One night his guestwas Babe Ruth. " '\Well,you know, Grannyr'the Babereadin responseto a question, 'Duke Ellington said the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fieldsof Elkton.' " 'Baber' Granny said after the show, 'Duke Ellington for the Duke of Wellingron I can understand.But how did you everreadEton as Elkton? That's in Maryland, isn't it?' "'l married my firsr wife there,' Babe said, 'and I alwayshated the goddamn place."' t 5 Ruth once sufferedthe humiliarion of hav{ ing the great Walter Johnson of the Washing-I ton Senatorsthrow three straightfastballspasr him. He askedthe umpire if he had seenany of the pitches. "No," replied the umpire. "Neither did I," said Ruth, "but that last one soundedkinda high to me." As' q8 RUTHERFORD, Ernest, lst Baron (18711937), British physicist, born in New Zealand. He beld professorshipsat Montreal (15951907),Manchester(1907-19), and Cambridge, where he was also director of the Cauendish Laboratory 0919-37). He rcceiuedthe 1908 Nobel Prize for chemistry. 1 Rutherford's work and repuration made the CavendishLaboratory the M eccafor experimental physicistsfrom all over the world. As successfollowed success,someone obsenredto Rutherford that he was alwaysat the crest of the wave. "'Well, after all, I made the wave, didn't I?" said Rutherford.

&s, S qi Eero (1910-61), Finnish archi-

the careersof a number of younger writers in the French Romantic mouement.

I Saarinen,an exceptionally slow talker, was beinginterviewedfor a televisionprogram.The allotted time was rapidly running out, and the anxious interviewerventured to ask Saarinenif he could speak just a little faster. "No, sir," replied the architect, casually lighting up his pipe. "Butr" he continued, more slowly than ever,"I could say less."

I Although himself unpugnacious, SainteBeuvewas once compelled to fight a duel with pistols.At the critical moment, just asthe order to fire was about to be given, it started to rain. Sainte-Beuvecalled for a pausein the proceedings while he went to his carriageand fetched and opened alargeumbrella. He then faced his opponent with the umbrella held in his left hand and the pistol in his right. The opponent protested at this derogation of the dignity of the occasion. "I don't mind being killed," Sainte-Beuveresponded,"but I do mind getting wet." {In the event neither happened.} Ar, '.8

SAARINEN, tect.

As' 48 SACKVILLE-WEST, Edward Charles, Sth Baron (1901-65), British writer and critic. I Sackville-\7estinherited the vasthouseand estate of Knole in Kent from his cousin, and this seemsto have put him somewhat out of touch with how less fortunate mortals exist. Told that a certain person owned a dog, he exclaimed, "But how can he? He hasn't got a park to exerciseit in."

SAINT-SAiINS, [Charles] Camille (1835I92I), French composer, best known fo, his Third Symphony concertosin G minor and C minor, and the opera Samsonet Dalila.

Ast "'8 SAGE, Russell(181'6-1"905),USfinancier. He left his large fortune to be distributed in benefactions by his wife, who set up the RussellSage Foundation (1907) to improue social and liuing conditions in the United-llates. I Sage'slawyer was delighted by the casehis client had just laid before him. "It's an ironclad caser" he exclaimed with confidence. "'We can't possibly lose!" "Then we won't suer" said Sage."That was my opponent's side of the caseI gaveyou."

4., ".8 SAINTE-BEUVE, CharlesAugustin(180469),Frenchcritic and literaryhistorian,whose prosestylewAsgreatlyadmiredand emulated. His influenceasa critic enabledhim to promote

I Sir Thomas Beechamconducted a conceft in London given in honor of Saint-Sa€ns,for which the principal piece was Saint-Sa€ns's Third Symphony. Beechamfound the tempi in the symphony depressingly slow; so did the players, 8s they made clear by the way they played in rehearsal. Nor was the situation presence. helped by Saint-Sa€ns's Beecham finally exaggeratedthe accentuation on purpose to give a semblanceof life to the musicwithout actuallyspeedingit up. Later he asked Saint-Sa€nswhat he thought of the interpretation. The aged composer replied, "My dear young friend, I have lived a long while, and I have known all the chefs d'orchestre. There are two kinds; one takes the music too fast, and the other too slow. There is no third."

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SALINGER

In the 1930s,General Somervellwas administering the \ilfPA and was confronted with a "sit-down" strike. Union members took over space in a public building and would not leave. The police had tried to end the strike without much success.This time Somervell simply locked all the building's bathrooms and left with the keys. The strike was over in six hours.

- RalphL. Marquard, Jokesand Anecdotes for All Occasions

SALINGER, J. D. (1,91,9- ), US writer who achieuedalmost ouernight fame with his nouel The Catcher in the Rye (1951).The hero, Holden Caulfield, epitomized the dissatisfaction of 'War post-World II adolescents by making a 'stand against what he called the "p'hony" adult world.

SALK, Jonas E. (1914- ), US uirologist who in 1954 deuelopedtbe first effectiueantipolio uaccine. 1 Salk worked hard to publicize his discoveW, although he receivedno money from the saleof it. Someoneonce askedhim who owned the patent. He replied, "The people- could you patent the sun?" A$, a8 SANDBURG, Carl (1878-1967), US poet, nouelist,and biographer.He is best known for his multiuolume biography of Abraham Lincoln and The People, Yes (1936), a free-uersecelebration of democracy. I A young dramatist,anxious for Sandburg's opinion of his new seriousplay, askedthe poet to attend the dress rehearsal.Sandburg slept 'When throughout the performance. the dramatist complained, saying that Sandburghad known how much he wanted his opinion, Sandburgreplied, "Sleep is an opinion." A.* q8

I When The Catcher inthe Ryewas chosenas the main selection of the Book-of-the-Month Club in 1,951,,the president of the club expressedanxiety over the book's somewhatambiguous title. Asked if he would consider a change,Salingersimply replied,"Holden Caulfield wouldn't like that." The suggestionwas not revived. A$ '.8 SALISBURY, Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, 3d Marquess of (1830-1903), British stAtesmAn,secretary for India (185557, 1874-7 8), Disraeli's foreign secretary (1878), and three times Consentatiue prime minister (1885-92, 1895-1900, 1900-02).He was the chief architect of Britain's isolationist policy at the end of the nineteenth century. I In 1895, Salisbury made the undistinguished poet Alfred Austin Poet Laureate. It was widely believed that the decision was basedon Austin's political leaningsrather than on his talent. Asked why he had chosena poet of such inferior ability, Salisbury simply replied, "l don't think anyoneelseappliediot the post,tt Al,

48

SANDWICH, John Montagu, 4th Earl of (I7I8-92), British politician. As First Lord of tbe Admiralty (1745-51,,1771-82), he was responsible for the unpreparednessof the British nauy at the outbreak of the American Reuolution. The earl gaue his name to the sandwich, which he inuented as a snack to sustain him through long hours of gambling. L Entertaining at a dinner at which his chaplain was present, the earl brought in a large baboon dressedin clerical garb to say grace. The affronted chaplain left the room, pausing on his way out to obsenre,"l did not know your lordship had so near a relative in holy orders.tt 2 Lord Sandwichwas remarkablefor his ungainliness;a contemporary wit said that he could be reco gnizedfrom afar by the fact that "he walked down both sidesof the street at once." He liked to tell the following story: During a stay in Parishe took dancing lessons. Bidding farewell to his dancing master, he offered to recommendhim to membersof London society who might be visiting Paris. The man bowed and saidearnestly,"I would take it as a particular favor if your lordship would

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never tell anyone of whom you learned to dance.tt Seealso TrusreN BnnNARD 7.

genius!"he said."For thirty-sevenyearsI've practicedfourteenhoursa day,and now they call me a genius!"

A'' 48

4., ,.8

SANTAYANA, George(1853-1,9 52), Spanish-bornpbilosopherand poet. He spent many yearsat Hantard (1889-1911)and at Oxford. His philosopbyis bestset out in the four-uolumeRealmsof Being(1927-40). inheritedhis simpleand unosI I Santayana i tentatioushabits from his father. Once he i' xskedthe seniorSantayanawhyhe alwaystraveled third class."Becausethere'sno fourth class." {This anecdoteis also told of Albert Schweitzer.) 2 ,I7hen Santayanacameinto a sizablelegacy, he was able to relinquish his post on the Harvard faculty. The classroomwas packed for his fina'l appearance, and Santayana did himself proud. He was about to conclude his remarks when he caught sight of a forsythia beginning to blossom in a patch of muddy snow outside the window. He stopped abruptly, picked up his hat, gloves,and walking stick, and made for the door. There he turned. "Gentlemenr" he said softly, "I shall not be able to finish that sentence.I have iust discovered that I have an appointment with April." 4., {8 SARASATE [y Navascu6sJ,Pablo de (18441908), Spanish uiolinist. He composedA number of works, including Spanish dancesand fontasias, for the uiolin. I By inviting Sarasateto dinner, his wealthy hostesshad hoped to obtain a free violin recital for her guests after the meal. During the course of dinner she broached the subject, asking Sarasate whether he had brought his violin. "Mais non, mAdnmq" replied the violinist, "mon uiolon ne dine pls" (No, madame, ffiy violin does not dine). Seealso SrEpHrN CoLLrNs FosrrR 1. 2 In the latter paft of his career, Sarasatereceived a visit from a famous music critic who acclaimed him as a genius. Sarasateaccepted the compliment with .little enthusiasm. "A

SARAZEN, Gene(1.902- ), USgolfer,winner of two US Opens and three Professional Golfers'Associationchampionsbip s. I In the early years of professionalgolf "world championship"matcheswerearranged betweenthebesttwo golferseachyear.ln1922 Sarazen won over Walter Hagenwhen he defeatedhim overT2holes- 36 at Oakmondin Pennsylvania oned^y and36 at Westchester in New York the next d^y. At the end of the first d"y Sarazen wasjust two strokesbehind,having beenfour behindat one stageaftermissing a five-footputt on accountof nerves.On the cross-countrytrain ride that night Sarazen complainedof stomachcrampsand could not sleep,but on the following day,at the sixtyfifth holeof the match,he scoredan eagle(two underpar)to takea leadhe held to the finish. Four hours later he underwentan emergency appendectomy.Commentingon the match later, he said,"A sick appendixis not as difficult to dealwith asa five-footputt." 6r, ..6 SARGENT, John Singer (1855-1925),US portrait painter who spentmuch of his life in Britain and Europe.He excelledat portraitsof the rich and famous,and alsoproduceda fine series of watercolorsof World War I landscapes. I The commissionto paintthe coronationof EdwardVII went to an artist namedEdwin A. Abbey.This hugecanvascontainedabout 120 portraits,and Abbeyworked on it from L902 to L904.Oneimportantsitterwasthe Princeof 'Wales, the future George V. He surprised Abbey by askinghim about Sargenr's incoffi€, which apparentlywas much discussed among the portraitist'sfriends,of whom the prince was one. "Do you supposeit's ten thousand pounds?"guessedthe prince. "I would say more likely twenty thousand,"repliedAbbey. The heir apparentwas amazed:"My Godl I wish I had twenty thousandpoundsa yearl" 2 Sargentdid not take kindly to criticismof his work by his subjects.tilfhen a woman

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objected to his treatment of the mouth in a portrait he had done of her, his rejoinder was: "Perhaps,madam,we'd better leaveit out altogether." {sargent suggested"A little something wrong with the mouth" should be written on his tombstone.) 3 A woman who was paying $5,000 for her portrait by Sargentsaid that there was something wrong with the nose."Oh, you can easily put a little thing like that right when you get it home," said Sargent,handing her the canvas. 4 Sargenthad been commissionedto do a portrait of Teddy Roosevelt. Determined to find the right setting, h. and the president scouredthe X7hite House for a suitablebackdrop. By the end of the secondafternootr,after trying a successionof posesagainstvarioussettings, Roosevelt had had enough. Pausingat the bottom of a staircase,his elbow on the newel post, he turned to the painter and said, "'W'e'reafter the impossiblelwe'd better give it up." Sargenttook in at a glancethe president's pose and exclaimed, "D on't moue, Mr. President! We'ue got it!" 5 Sargentonce found himself sitting beside an effusive young admirer at a dinner party. "Oh, Mr. Sargent," she gushed, "l saw your latest painting and kissed it becauseit was so much like you." "And did it kiss you in return?" asked the artist. "\7hy, no." "Then it was not like me," said Sargentwith a smile. Ar, 44 SARGENT, Sir Malcolm (1895-1967), British conductor and organist who, ds chief conductor at the London Promenade Concerts (1957-57), did much to bring classicalmusic aliue for younger audiences.

child is born." Asking the ladiesto repeat the 'Just a little more reversection,he requested: ence,please,and not so much astonishment." (For Sir Thomas Beecham'spreferences as a conductor, seeBuECHAM7.) 3 As he was preparingto leavethe Albert Hall after a concert one evening,Sir Malcolm overheard the following brief exchange bet*een two young girls: "How I envy Sir Malcolm." "You mean his conducting?" "Oh, flo, not that. I mean his neat little flat behind." 4 At the ageof seventl, Sargentwas askedby an interviewer:"To what do you attribute your advancedage?'? "Wellr" replied the conductor, "l supposeI must attribute it to the fact that I haven't died yet.tt

5 A. P. Herbert visited Sargentin the nursing home shortly before he died and found him chuckling over the remark of an earliervisitor, Bob Boothby. Boothby had told Sir Malcolm that he had just been preparing a magnificent obituary for him, to be broadcast over the BBC: "The only thing is, I don't get anything until it's delivered." As, *8 SAROYAN, William (1908-81), US writer. His works include many short stories,the plays The Time of Your Life (1939)and The Beautiful People (1941), and a nouel, The Human Comedy (1943). I Before his death in 198L, Saroyanphoned in to the AssociatedPressa final Saroyanesque observation: "Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case.Now what?" Ar, 48

when.tt

SATIE, Erik (I866-1,925),Frenchcomposerof songsand piano pieces.His music is notablefor its humor, its originality, and his eccentric instntctions to potential performers.

2 Conducting a rehearsalof Handel's Messiah, Sargentwas dissatisfiedwith the performance of the female singersin "For unto us a

L Satiewrote the following direction on one of his piano compositions:"To be playedwith both hands in the pocket."

| "'What do you have to know to play the cymbals?"someone once asked Sir Malcolm Sargent. "Nothingr" was his reply, "just

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SCHLEIERMACHER

2 Satieattendedthe premiereof Debussy's I^a Mer, the first paft of which is entitled "From Dawn to Noon on the Sea."Askedby the composerwhat he thought of the work, Satiereplied,"I liked the bit about quarterro

"I'm the writer JosefVictor von Scheffel." "Indeed.Showme your papers!" A" 48 SCHICK, Bela (1,577-L967),HungarianAmericanpediatricianand allergist;inuentorof the Schicktestthat indicateswhethersomeone is immuneto diphtheria.

eleven.tt

Ar' 4t SCARRON, Paul (1510-50),Frenchpoet, playwrigbt, and nouelist.He excelledin burlesquesand comedies,especiallyhis unfinished Romancomique(1551-57).For twentyyears he enduredseuereill healthand constantpain. His wife, Franeoised'Aubigne,later became Louis XIV's secondwife,

| "ln the fall of 1923 Dr. Bela Schickassumedthe directorshipof the PediatricDepartmentat the Mount SinaiHospital,New York. From the beginninghe held his grandrounds and later his conferences on Thursdays.He startedpromptlyat 9:30 A.M. no matterhow smallthe gatheringwas.One morning during yearsin the thirtiestherewasan the depression overflowattendance. Schickwasdelightedand commented,'There must be an epidemicof health.' "The followingweek when the attendance 'Practiceapparently fell off, Schickremarked, is alreadybetter."' 4., ..8

1 Scarrondedicateda collectionof poemsto his sister'sdog: "A Guillemette,chiennede ma soetlr."Shortlybeforethe publicationof the poems,however,Scarronquarreledwith his sister,and as a resultthe following notice appearedamong the errataof the book: "For chiennedema soeurlmysister'sbitch]readma chiennede soeur[my bitch of a sister]." 2 At their marri^gethe notarydrawingup the contract asked Scarronwhat dowry he intendedto bestowuponhisbeautifulbut pennilessyoungbride."Immortalityr"he replied. Ary 48 SCHEFFEL,JosefVictor von (1826-85),German writer. His works includethe uersenArra(1854)and tiue Der Trompetervon Sackingen (1855). He was nouel Ekkehard the historical the alsoknownfor his Heidelbergstudentsongs, igitur. mostfamousof which fs Gaudeamus 1 \fhile Scheffelwas a studentand had alreadyachievedsomeliterary fame,he set out on a walking trip alongthe right bank of the Rhine.As the dty was hot, he decidedon a swim,threw off all his clothes,andplungedin. The current,however,wasfar strongerthanhe strugglehe manexpected.After an exhausting agedto reachshore- but found himselfon the Ieftbank.Starknaked,he hadno option but to walk to the nearestinn and appealfor help.It happenedthat the district military policeman hadalsostoppedby at theinn.Thelattergrimly surveyedthehaked,drippingScheffel."'\ilfhere did you comefrom?"he demanded. "From the oppositebank,Officer." "And what'syour name?"

SCHILLINGER, Joseph(1895-L943),Rzssian-bornmusicaltheorist. i

i1 One of Schillinger's favorite tricks was to iplaya pieceon the piano and then challengethe jaudienceto namethe composer.After listeners suggestedeveryonefrom Palestrinato Bach, he would reveal, with a broad grin, that he had based the melody upon the businesscuffe in the financial section of The New York Times that showed the fluctuations in wholesale prices of agricultural produce. This he had done by assigningmusicalvaluesto the units of the graph, adding lines of harmony derived from the Chicago grain market, the Nebraska corn market, and the Georgia sugarcanemarket to create a musical composition in complete three-part counte{point. Ar, ..6 Friedrich Daniel SCHLEIERMACHER, Ernst (L768-1834), German philosopher and tbeologian. | \7hen complimented on the popularity of his sermons,which drew large audiencesfrom many walks of life, Schleiermacherexplained, "My audiences comprise mainly students, women, and officers. The students come to

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SCHLEIERMACHER

hearme preach,the women come to look at the students,and the officerscome to look at the women.tt

8., 48 Heinrich (1,822-90),GerSCHLIEMANN, mAn archaeologist As a merchant, he acquired knowledgt of ten languages and a fortune, which enabledhim to pursue his childhood uision of prouing the historicity of Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.Schliemann'sexcauationsat Hissarlik reuealeda sequenceof ancient cities, the second oldest of wbich he identified with the brought to HomericTroy. His later erccauations light the first remains of Mycenaean ciuilization. 1 "l have looked upon the face of Agamemnon," exulted Schliemann when his excavations in the citadel of Mycenae unearthed ^ gold death mask of a warrior king. Later, doubts crept in, and his more scientificallyinclined colleaguesalmost persuadedhim that he had discoveredthe remainsof a generationfar earlier than the presumed date of Homer's Agamemnon. Schliemann resisted these suggestionshotly at first, but later came to accept them philosophically."\iltrh&tr" he said,"this is not Agamemnon's body and these are not his ornaments?All right, let's call him Schulze." (Schulzeis the German equivalentof Smith or Jones.) After that these remains were always referredto as "Schulze." As, e8 SCHNABEL, Artur (1882-19 51), Austrian pianist, renowned fo, his interpretation of Beetbouen. I A piano student came to Schnabelto ask him if he could study with him. Schnabeltested him and agreedto take him on asa pupil. "How much are your lessons?"the student asked. 'oFiveguineas each." "l'm afraid I can't afford that." "I also give lessonsat three guineas- but I don't recommendthem." 2 In 1,940,Schnabel'sson Stefan,an actor, was visited by r publicity agent. Toward the end of the interview sheasked:"Are your parents in America?" "Yesr" replied Stefan. "And your father - what does he do?"

"He is Artur Schnabel." The lady looked bemused. seer"shesaid. "But what does he do?" "He's a pianistr" replied Stefan."He played at CarnegieHall severaltimes this season." "That's nice," said the agent."I'm alwaysso glad to hear of a refugeegetting on well.'? 3 An elderly lady in the front row slept right through one of Schnabel'sconcerts, waking with a start as the final ovation rang around the auditorium. Schnabelleanedacrossto apologrze,"lt was the applause,madamer" he whispered. "l played as softly as I could." 8s' 'ta SCHODL, Max (1834-192I), Austrian stilllife painter. 7 Schodl was noted for his absentmindedness."'Where to?" asked the driver of a horsecab that the painter had hailed. Schodl reflected."Number sixr" he said. "I'll tell you the street later on." A$.' a8 SCHOLL, Aur€lien (1833-1,902),notorious Belle Epoque boulevardier, iournalist, and amorist. I Scholl, for some reason known only to himself, on severaloccasionscut his friend Catulle Mendds, the novelist and playwright. Mendes decidedthat this kind of behaviorwas unacceptable.Finding Scholl sitting at a table in Tortoni's one afternootr, Mendds strode up to him and pointed an accusingfinger at him, shouting,"BONJOUR!" at the top of his voice. Schollstudiedthe fingerfor a time, adjustedhis monocle, then smiled and asked politely, "'Where would you like me to put it, monsieur?" 2 "One challengerof Scholl'swasa bankerof rather shady reputation who, on certain occasions,had carriedout a number of dealswhich had all but landed him in prison. Angered by some insinuating remarks Scholl had written about him in his newspaper,the banker burst into Tortoni's and challengedSchollto a duel. Scholl,as alwaysadjustinghis monocle, stared coolly up at the man and asked, 'You really want to fight?'

491.

SCHOPENHAUER

"'Oui, monsieur!'roared the banker. "scholl shrugged.'Bon,' he said. 'I daresay that when we arrive on the grounds they'll remove your handcuffs."' 3 "He eventually married the daughter of a rich London brew er,a far from felicitous marriage which in no way interfered with his successful pursuit of other women. His witty approach had an individuality of its own. When one little married woman, wanting to give way yet struggling with her conscience, pleaded piteously, 'Let me be for a time, ffiy friend! Let me retire into myself,' Schollreplied 'Allow with gallant ardor: ffi€, madame, to accompany you."' 6s, e4 SCHONBEIN, Christian Friedrich (17991858),German-Swisschemistand professorat the Uniuersity of Basel. Discot)ererof ozone, he was also a noted inuentor. ,il In 1845 Schonbeinwas carrying our an experiment with a mixture of sulfuric and nitric acid in the kitchen of his home. This was a practice expresslyforbidden by his wife, who had banned the professorfrom her kitchen. In her absencehe becameso absorbed in his experiment that he spilled a little of the dangerous mixture on her kitchen table. Aware that his disobediencemight be disclosedby per" the manentstain on the woodwork, he grabbed first thing at hand, his wife's cotton apron, and mopped up the offending liquid. He then hung it before the fire so that it would be dry before his wife returned. The resulting explosion, causedby the nitration of the cellulosein the cotton, eventually enabled the browbeaten chemist to invent, market, and exploit the smokelessgunpowder that becameknown as guncotton. A$, e8 SCHONBERG, Arnold (I874-I95L), Austrian composer, pioneer of atonality, the socalled twelue-tonesystem. His compositions include the tone poem Pelleas and Melisande (1903), the song cycle Pierrot lunaire (1912), operas, chamber music, and otber choral and orchestralworks. I Schonbergwas strolling through the streets of his home town with a visiting friend one d^y,

nodding graciously at the respectful greetings from the local people, many of them young boys. His friend was impressedand not a little surprised. "You really are famousr" he remarked. "Even the children know you." "That is quite true," remarked Schonberg with a smile."You see,my son is a halfback on the high-school football team." 2 (The pianist Artur Schnabelin the course of alecturetold this story about the composers Schonbergand Stravinsky.) "You may find this hard to believe,but Igor Stravinskyhas actually published in the papers the statement, 'Music to be great must be completely cold and unemotional'! And last Sunday, I was having breakfast with Arnold Schonb€rg,and I saidto him,'Can you imagine that Stravinsky actually made the statement that music to be great must be cold and unemotional?' At this, SchOnberggot furious 'I and said, said that first!"' A+ 48 SCHOPENHAUER, Arthur (1788-1850), German philosopber who deueloped seueral aspectsof Kantian theory. He ftlt the human willto bea profoundly distortingand corrupting force, a uiew that underlay his deep pessimism. 1 Visiting a greenhousein Dresden, Schopenhauer becameabsorbed in contemplation of one of the plants. His eccentric gestures drew the attention of the attendant. "'Who are you?" he asked. Schopenhauerlooked at him o'If you for some moments, then said slowly, could only answerthat question for ID€,I'd be eternally grateful." \ 2 Schopenhauer,living in lodgings at Frankfurt for the last yearsof his life, used to take his meals at an inn frequented by English military , p€rsonnel. At the start of each meal he would :' place a gold coin on the table in front of him. At the end of the meal he would drop the coin back in his pocket. A waiter, who had been , eyeingthe coin with interest,askedhim why he did this. Schopenhauerexplained that he had a little wager with himself every day: he would drop the coin into the poor box on the first I occasion that the English officers talked of , znlthing other than horses,dogs, or women. A.' 48

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SCHUMANN-HEINK

"Max Schling, New York florist, ran an advertisement in The New York Times entirely in shorthand. A lot of businessmen cut it out and, out of curiosity, askedtheir secretariesto translateit. The ad asked secretariesto think of Schling when the boss wanted flowers for his wife."

-Jacob M. Braude, Speaker'sand Toastmaster'sHandbook

Ernestine (1861SCHUMANN-HEINK, uas a noted interShe contralto. 1936)rGerman preter of Wagnerian roles. I Schumann-Heinkwas an unashamedgourmand. Enrico Caruso, another lover of good food in quantity, entered the restaurant at which shewas dining. Seeingher about to begin on a vast steak, he said, "Stina, surely you are not going to eat that alone?" "No, tro, not aloner" replied the lady, "mit potatoes." {Told of others.}

remarked:"Thingsmust be reallybad whena greatWagneriancontraltois forcedto do tencent shows.tt

"Young man," said Ernestinereprovingly, "how cantimesbe badwhenchildrencanhear for a dime?" Schumann-Heink As' "4 SCHWARTZ, Maurice(1890-19 54),Polishbornactorand theaterdirector,who cameto the UnitedStatesin 1,901and foundedthe Yiddish Art Theater(1918). 1 Schwartzwas frequentlyaccusedof monopolizingall the best roles.A friend of his "On occasionMr. hotly deniedtheallegations. with theleadSchwartzhasbeenverygenerous ing partsr"he said."Take, for example,his recent production of the BrothersAshkenazi. Did he play both brothers?" Ar, 48 SCHWARZENBERG, Felix,Prince(1800and diplomAt.A ruth52),AustrianstatesmAn policyin the Iessreactioftdr!:he masterminded (1848years reign of Francis oseph's first four J tlte emperor'spower through 52),strengthened the 1849constitution,and foiled Prussia'sAtof Austrianweakness. tempt to takeaduantage

2 When Mme Schumann-Heinkappearedas the witch in Hansel and Gretel, her children, watching from the auditorium, were appalled at her fate at the end of the opera. "Mother! Mother!" her little boy screamedas she was pushed into the oven. A few minutes later she was back on the stage for her curtain calls. "There she is!" he cried out in relief. "There's Mother! They didn't burn her after all!"

I Austriawas forced to rely on the help of CzarNicholasI of Russiato crushthe HungarianuprisingagainstAustriandominionin 1,849. After this had beenachieved,Schwarzenberg showedno signsin hispolicyof favoringRussia in any way. Asked whether he did not feel underan obligationto the czarrSchwarzenberg replied,"Austriawill astoundthe world with the magnitudeof her ingratitude."

3 Conditions were rather cramped in the Detroit conceft hall where Schumann-Heink was to perform. As the portly singer struggled through the orchestrapit to make her entrance, music racks crashedto the floor. The conductor looked on in alarm. "sidewoys,madamr" he whispered urgently, "go sideways." "Mein Gott!" cried the singer in reply. "I haff no sideways!"

2 After the quellingof the 1849uprising,it that it would to Schwarzenberg wassuggested beprudentto showmercytowardthecaptured Hungarianrebels."Yes,indeed,a good idea," he replied,"but first we will havea little hang-

4 In the Depression of the 1930s financial problems forced Schumann-Heink out of retirement. Despite her age and ill health, she signed a music-hall contract and took to the road. A newspaper reporter interoiewing her

ittg." 3 Schwarzenberg'shealth failed quite suddenly when he was still comparativelyyoung. A doctor calledin to examinehim warned him to take more rest or he would die of an apoplectic stroke. "That manner of death has my full "pprovalr" snappedback the patient. {He had the death he approved,dropping dead as he was preparingto go to a ball.)

493 SCHWEITZER, Albert (1,875-1965), Alsatian-bornmedicalmissioftctr! t theologian,and musician.Schweitzerstudiedtheologyand was principal of thetheologicalfacultyat Strasbourg beforehe abandonedhis brilliant academiccareerto train Asa medicalmissionary.He had also gainedan internationalreputationas an interpreterand studentof Bach'sorganmusic. From 1913he workedat theiunglehospitalat I-ambaren|in Gabon,Africa, which he establishedand for many yearssupportedwith the proceeds from his books,organrecitals,andlecturesgiuenon uisitsto Europe.In 1952he was awardedthe NobelPeacePrizefor his work in Africa. I The phrase"reverencefor life" aptly sums philosophy.On a visit to the up Schweitzer's UnitedStateshewasimportunedby manyvisitors,a groupof whom interruptedhisdinnerto try to persuadehim to explainhis ethics.He talkedpatientlyfor twentyminutes.Oneof the visitorswantedhim to givea specificexample said,"Revof "reverencefor life." Schweitzer erencefor life meansmy answeringyour kind inquiries; it also means your reverencefor my dinner hour." Schweitzerwas able to return to his meal. 2 His doctrine of "reverence for life" was to be literally obeyed. It accounted for his vegetarianisffi, as well as for his attitude toward all animals.The American TV star Jack Paar once visited him at his hospital in Lambar€nd.A dog appeared, chasing a chicken. In French Dr. Schweitzershouted, "No! No! Remember we have won the Nobel PeacePrize!"

SCOTT

5 On a train journey in the AmericanMidwest, Schweitzerwas approachedby two ladies."Havewe the honorof speaking to ProfessorEinstein?"they asked."No, unfortunatelynotr" repliedSchweitzerr "though I can quite understandyour mistake,for he hasthe samekind of hair as I have." He pausedto rumplehis hair. "But inside,my headis altogether different. However, he is a very old friendof mine- would you like meto giveyou his autograph?"Takinga slipof paperfrom his pocket he wrore: "Albert Einstein,by way of his friend,Albert Schweitzer." Alo ..6

SCIPIO NASICA SERAPIO, PubliusCornelius (fl. 138 BC),Roman politiciAn,elected consulin 138 nc. Opposedto the reformsimplementedby Tiberius Gracchus,he took part in his assassination in 1,33nc. I Scipio Nasica called on his friend, poet , Quintus Ennius,only to be told by Ennius's slavethat his masterwasnot at home.Nasica caughtsight of the poet disappearing into a room at the back of the house.He did not attemptto contradictthe slave,however,and left without a word. Sometimelater, Ennius returnedthevisit."Not at home!"criedNasica as his friend arrivedat the door. "You can't expectme to believethat- I recognizeyour voicer" replied Ennius."'S(/hy,you're a nice fellowr" retorted Nasica. "I believedyour slave,and you won't believeme." {The originalversionof an anecdotethat has since been attributed to Jonathan Swift.SeealsoSHrcEnuYosHrDA1..) Ar, {S

3 Jack Paaralso recallsSchweitzer'sstandard attire: white pith helmet, white shirt and pants, black tie. He had worn one hat for forty years, the tie for twenty. Told that some men owned dozens of neckties, he remarked, "For one neck?" 4 (African patients leaving Schweitzer'shospital frequently stole his chamber pots to useas cooking utensilsin their jungle homes.)Traveling by train in Europe, Schweitzerwas asked by an inquisitive fellow passeng€r,"'What do you do for a living?" "I supply Gabon with chamberpotsr" he replied.

SCOTT, Sir Walter (7771-1832),Scottish nouelist.He first achieuedfamewith his poems on the feudsand louesof the medieualfamilies 's7averley liuing on theEnglish-Scottishborder. (1814)establishedhim as a successful nouelist and was thefirst in a seriesof historicalnouels. i f As a boy Scott was always the runner-up in Jhis class at school. Try as he might, he could i never displace the fluent, quick-witted, and j studious boy who stood at the rop of the class. , One dry Scott, watching his rival speaking in class,noticed that the lad always fumbled with a particular button on his vesr while he talked. Stealthily Scott took a pair of scissorsand

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snippedoff the button. The next time the master called upon the boy to answer a question, he stood up and beganto speak,feelingfor the , button. Failing to find it, he was so discon, certed that he stuttered and fell silent. Scott seizedhis opportunity, answeredthe question, and displaced his rival from the head of the class,a position he maintained thereafrer. 2 Walking around the Abbotsford esrarein spring, Sir S7alterand Lady Scott passeda field full of gamboling lambs. "No wonder," said Scott, "that poets from the earliesttimes have made lambs the symbols of peace and innocence.tt "Delightful creatures indeed," Lady Scott assented,"especiallywith mint sauce." 3 Scott gleanedmany of the anecdotesand traditional stories used in his novels from an old Scottish lady, Mrs. Murray Keith. At the height of the speculationabout the authorship of Wauerley,Mrs. Keith challengedScott with being "the Great Unknown" and refused to accept his customary denial. "D'y. think I dinna ken my ain groatsamong other folks'kail [brothJ?" she exclaimed. 4 Scott's young son was ignorant of his father's fame asa novelist,but loved and admired him for reasonscloser to a boy's heart. Once when he was in his teenshe was in the company of some older people who were discussing Scott's genius."Ayar" put in young Scott, "it's commonly him is first to seethe hare." 5 \Tilliam Wordsworth once declaredin the course of conversationthat he had "the greatest contempt for Aristotle." "But not, I take itr" remarked Scott, "that contempt which familiarity breeds." 6 When Scott was declared bankrupt in "1.826, his friends rallied around with offers of money. Scott declined their assistance,saying, "No, this right hand shall work it all off." This promisehe kept, although the incessantwriting ruined his health,and he dictatedhis last works from his deathbed while sufferinggreat pain.

&., -t US SCRIPPS,Edward Wyllis (1854-1,926), newspaperproprietor.

1 "[A woman] who had been his mistressin Detroit came to his office in Cincinnati where he was just getting a good start with the Pos/ and tried to blackmail him. He summoned the city editor and directed him to call up the two rival papers and tell them to send over reporters. When the reporters arrived, he introduced his visitor. "'Miss Brownr' he said, 'used to live with me as my mistress.She was paid for what she did and we parted on good terms.Shehascome here today threatening to revive that story and askingfor money. You areatliberty to print the story. As far as I am concerned,the incident is closed.' "The story was run with big headlines,and to the surprise of everybody, it did no harm either to the circulation of the paper or the standing of its editor." F',cE SEBASTIANO DEL PIOMBO, Fra (?1485L547), Italian painter. He collaborated with Raphael in the decoration of the Farnesina,and also becamea sought-afterportraitist. In 1.531 he was appointed keeper of the papal seals (piombi), from which he took his nicknAme. 1 In later life Sebastianoceasedpainting and was censuredfor his idlenessby certain busybodies.He rebutted such criticism by pointing out, "There are now men of geniuswho do in two months what I usedto do in two years,and I believe if I live long enough I shall find that everythinghas beenpainted. As thesestalwarts can do so much, it is as well that there should also be someone who does nothing, so that they may have the more to do."

4., ..6 SEDGWICK, CatharineMaria (1789-1857), US writer. 1 Like most Sedgwicks, Catharinewas very fond of her nativetown, Stockbridge, Massachusetts,wherethe burialmarkersof the clan in concentriccirclesknownasthe arearranged SedgwickPie.Someone onceremarkedto Miss Sedgwickthat shespokeaboutStockbridge as if it were heaven."l expectno very violent transition,"shereplied. &r, .8

S EF E R I S

Graffiti are everywhereon the Harvard Bridge,linking Boston and Cambridge, Massachusetts, but none are as prominent as the regular "Smoot" markings alongthe bridg. walkways. In 1958,whenOliverReedSmoot,Ir., wasa freshmanpledgeat the MassachusettsInstituteof Technology,his fraternity, LambdaChi Alpha,decidedto use Mr. Smootasa unit of measureto mark off the bridge.Smoot was five feet, six incheslongat the time,whichmakesthe bridge exactly 364.4Smootslong, plus one ear. -The BostonGlobeMagazine, NovemberLI, "1,984

SEDGWICK, John (1813-64),US generAl. rilTilderness I During in the 'War,the battle of the general Civil the was inspecting his troops.At onepoint he cameto a parapetover which he gazedout in the direction of the enemy.His officerssuggestedthat this was unwiseand perhapshe ought to duck while passingthe parapet."Nonsense,"snappedthe general."They couldn't hit an elephantat this dist-" {The referencebooks say that General Sedgwickwaskilled in actionat the battle of the \Tilderness.) Ar, -8 SEDGWICK, Theodore (1746-1813),US iudge;Speakerof the Houseof Representatiues (1799-L801). I The Sedgwickshad a black servantcalled Mumbet, who rearedthe Sedgwickchildren when their mother becameinsane.One d"y Mumbet heard the Declarationof Independencebeingreadout at a town meeting.The following dayshewent to seeTheodoreSedgwick in his office."Sirr" shesaid,"I heardthat we areall born equal,and everyone of us has the right to be free." Mr. Sedgwickpromptly begana suit on Mumbet'sbehalfand a decree was obtained in her favor. Mumbet was so

gratefulsheremainedwith the Sedgwickfamily for the restof her life. Ar, q8 SEDLEY, Sir Charles(1,639-1,701), English playwrightand wit. His writingsenioyeda high reputationamonghis contemporaries, who also reueledin gossipabouttheauthor's scnndalous personallife. I Sir Charleshad one daughter,Catharine,a shrewdandwitty girlwhomJames, theDukeof York, made his mistress.\ilfhen the duke ascendedthe throne as JamesII, he resolved not to seeher again,but within threemonths their intriguewasrevived.In 1,686Jamescreated CatharineCountessof Dorchester.Sir Charles,despitehis own notorietyas a libertine,wassincerelyupsetby hisdaughter'ssituation. "I hateingratituder"he said,"and asthe king has mademy daughtera countessI will endeavorto repaythe civility by making his daughter a queen." Thishedid by votingJames II out of officein precedingthe GloriousRevoluthe Parliament tion of 1588,which broughtJames's daughter M"ry and her husband,'$fi[iamof Orange,to the Englishthrone. Ar, 48 SEELEY, Sir John Robert(1834-95),British historianand essayist. I In 1869Seeleysucceeded CharlesKingsley in the chairof Modern History at Cambridge, which Kingsleyhad resignedon groundsof ill health.Dr. William Thompson,the Masterof Trinity College,observed afterSeeley's inaugural lecture,"Well, well, I did not think we couldsosoonhavehadoccasionto regretpoor Kingsley." A.' 4S (1900SEFERIS,George[GeorgeSeferiades] 71), Greek poet and diplomat. He won the Nobel Prizefor literaturein 1.963. 1 (The Englishwriter and classicalscholar PeterLevi met Seferisin Athensin 1953.) "'Wetalkedaboutmermaids. He saidpeople knew he had a passionfor them,and senthim presentsof mermaids.Therewasa mermaidof bread, I think from southern Italy, hanging

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againstthewhitegardenwall.It hadbeenthere threeyears.I saidshewas young,for a mermaid.'But it is old,' he said,'for bread."' Ae, q8 SELLERS, Peter (1925-80),British comic actor.He madehis nnmein the radio comedy seriesThe Goon Show,first broadcastin the 1950s.He alsoappearedin manyfilms,notably I'm All Right, Jack (1959),Dr. Strangelove (1963), andthe" Pink Panther"series, in which heplayedthebunglingdetectiue InspectorClou-

playedso many roles he sometimeswas not onceby t sureof hisown identity.Approached fan who askedhim, "Are you PeterSellers?" Evans says Sellersansweredbriskly, "Not today,"and walkedon. A$' '4 BritSELWYN, GeorgeAugustus(L71,9-91,), ish politician,eccentric,and wit. HoraceWalpolesaidof him, "He louednotbingupon earth so well as a criminal, exceptthe executionol himj'

seilu. I In their London flat one afternootr, Sellers was busy in his study while his wife was working in the kitchen. On hearing the doorbell ring, Anne Sellerswent to the door and was presentedwith a telegram.The messageread: "Bring me a cup of coffee.Peter." 2 Sellersonce received the following letter from a Goon Show fan: "Dear Mr. Sellers,I have been a keen follower of yours for many yearsnow, and should be most grareful if you would kindly send me a singedphotograph of yourself." Encouraged by fellow-comedian Harry Secombe,Sellerstook the writer at his word. With the flanreof his cigarettelighter, he carefully burned the edgesof one of his publicity photographsand sentit off by return mail. A couple of weeks later, another letter arrived from the sameaddress."Dear Mr. Sellersr"it read, "Thank you very much for the photograph, but I wonder if I could trouble you for another as this one is signed all round the edge." 3 Blake Edwards,who directed Sellersin the "Pink Panther" films, did not find him the easiest person to work with. One night, having wasted an entire day on one particular scene, Edwards was awakened by ^ phone call from Peter."I just talked to God," he saidexcitedly, "and He told me how to do it." The following day, Edwards set the cameras rolling to capture the resultsof Sellers'sdivine inspiration. The results were disastrous. "Peterr" sighed the harasseddirector, "next time you talk to God, tell Him to stay out of show business." 4 lnThe Mask Behind the Ma.sft,PeterEvans, biographer of Peter Sellers,says that Sellers

| \il7henHenry Fox, Lord Holland, was dying,Selwyncalledon him and left his card. His lordship,told thathisold friendhadcalled, instructedhis footman, "lf Mr. Selwyncalls again,showhim up. If I amalive,I shallbeglad to seehim,andif I amdead,I amsurehewill be delightedto seeme." 2 PoliticianCharlesFox askedSelwynif he had attendedthe executionof a highwayman, also called CharlesFox. RepliedSelwyn,"I never attend rehearsals.o' 3 Robert Walpole once remarkedin Selwyn's hearing that the British systemof politics was the sameunder GeorgeIII as it had beenunder his grandfather, George II, and that there was nothing new under the sun. "Nor under the grandson," put in Selwyn. {This remark has also been used in the context of three generations- father, son, and grandson- sharing the same mistress,and is attributed to other wits.) 4 Staying at the fashionable resort of Bath out of seasofl,Selwynwas compelled for want of better company to cultivate the acquaintance of an elderly bore. Some months later they met again by chance in a smart London thoroughfare at the height of the London season. Selwyntried to slip pastunnoticed, but the older gentlemanhailedhim, saying,"Don't you recollect me?" "Perfectlyr" said Selwyn, "and when I next go to Bath I shall be most happy to become acquaintedwith you again." 5 A fashionablesociety beauty was showing off her new gown, which was covered with silver spanglesthe size of shillings. "How do you like it?" she asked George Selwyn. "You

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will be changefor a guinea,madamr"he replied.

SENECA, Lucius Annaeus(?4 Bc-65 AD), Roman statesman,author, and philosopher; tutor and aduiserto EmperorNero until he fell from fauor and uas obligedto commit suicide. Nine of his playssuntiue.

I (Thefollowinganecdoteis keptin the original Frenchsinceit doesnot lenditselfto translation.) A sa fillt qui lui demAnde:"Est-ce urai, mAdame, Qil€,dans un diner, ricemment le mot 'foutre' uottsait 6chappA?" "Non," r€pond-elle,"i'ai dit F et i'ai pass6 orJtre." 6., 48 SEWARD, William Henry (1801-72), US statesman.Gouernorof New York and later a senatorfrom that state,hewasa stalwartopponent of slauery.He becamesecretaryof state under Lincoln and in 1857 arrangedthe purchaseof Alaskafrom Russia,A mouebranded "seward'sfolly" by his enemies.

I Seneca'sinfluenceupon the vicious and mad Nero grew weakeras the yearspassed. Nonetheless, Senecatried to curb his charge's cruelty,warninghim on one occasion,"Howevermanyyou put to death,you will neverkill your successor.tt Ar, '.8

I After a debatein which StephenA. Douglas had delivereda fi.ry diatribe against"niggerworshipers,"Sewardwalked home with him from theCapitol.Awarethat Douglashopedto securethe Democraticpresidentialnomination, Sewardremarked,"Douglas,tro manwill ever be presidentof the United Stateswho spellsnegrowith two g"."

.1., 6

Selwynonceasserted that no womancould write a letter without addinga postscript.One of the ladiespresent,determinedto provehim I wrong,senthim a letter the following day.To I Selwyn'sglee,however,his triumphantcorrejl spondenthad added afterher signature:"P.S. rU7hois right now, you or I?"

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SERVETUS, Michael (1511-53),Spanishandphysician.His unorthodox borntheologian uiewson theTrinity angeredbothRomanCathand ledto his executionas olicsand Protestants a heretic. 1 Hiding from the Inquisition in Calvin's Geneva,Servetuswas caught,tried, and condemnedto be burnedat the stakefor hisviews. "I will burn, but this is a He saidto his judg€s, 'Sfe shallcontinueour discusmereincident. sionin eternity." Al,d SEUSS, Dr. [Theodore Seuss GeiselJ (1904- ), US humorouswriter and illustrator of children'sbooks. 1 An eight-year-oldonce sent him a letter you surethunk up a lot , saying:"Dear Dr. Seuss, i of funny books.You surethunk up a million i funny animals. . who thunk you up, Dr. 1Seuss?" Al, '.8 SE,VIGNE,Marie de Rabutin-Chanral, Marquisede (1626-96),Frenchwriter, known for her brilliant letters.

2 Sewardwasin an assemblyof peoplewho ; w€r€ speculatingabout the probabledestination of a secretmovementof troops.A lady, : noticing his silence,challengedhim: "'Well, Governor Seward,what do you make of it? 'Where do you think they are going?"Seward srniled."Madam," he replied,"if I did not know I would tell you." 4., ..S SHAFTESBURY, Anthony AshleyCooper, lst Earl of (I52L-83), British stAtesmAn. He beganas a supporterof Charles/, thenioined the Parliamentarians,and fi"ally made his peacewith Charles II. Hauing becomelord chancellorin 1.57 2, hewasdismissedthefollowing year.Later restoredto office,he supported theDukeof Monmouth'srebellion,wlscharged with high treason,and fled to Holland. | 1 Shaftesbury's religiousbeliefsremaineda mystery;very likely he was a deist. He once remarkedthat all wisemenareof but one religion."Which is that?"hewaspromptlyasked. "'Wisemen nevertellr" he replied. 2 CharlesII, hearingsomegossipaboutLord Shaftesbury,remarked to him jestingly, "l

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believe you're the wickedest rogue in England." "Of a subject,sire, I believeI am," was the prompt reply. {BenjaminDisraelialsosawthe versatility in "subject." SeeDlsnaELI 5.) Ar, "o8 SHAKESPEARE, William (1 554-151,6),English dramatist. He came to London from his natiue Stratford-upon-Auon probably in the mid-1580s. By the time he joined an acting company known as the Lord Chamberlain's Men in 1594,he was alreadyan establishedpoet and playwright with patronage in court circles. Shakespeare'sown acting abilities were not great, and he was fortunate to haue other actors of stature to createsuch roles as Hamlet, Lear, and Richard III. Shakespeare'splays are known and performed in euery country of tbe ciuilized world, and he is consideredthegreatest of playwrights. Yet comparatiuely ft* definite facts are known about his life, nor Are the handful of anecdotes ebout bim necessnrily autbentic. | "Mr. William Shakespearewas born at Stratford upon Avon in the county of Warwick. His father was a butcher, and I havebeen told heretofore by some of the neighbors,that when he was a boy he exercisedhis father's trade, but when he killed a calf he would do it in a high style, and make a speech." {It seemsthat "the neighbors" were pulling someone'sl.g; John Shakespeare, the poet's father, was a glover. This story, told by John Aubrey, would be more likely to have originated among Shakespeare's rivals on the London literary scene.) 2 At a time when Richard Burb agewas playing the title role in Richard III, he made an assignationwith alady who lived near the playhouse. "Announce yourself as Richard III," shesuggestedcautiously- asuggestionShakespeareoverheard.The dramatist slipped out of the theater before the end of the play and hastened to the woman's lodgings. Here he announced himself as Richard III and was admitted to her bedroom. A short while afterward a messagewas brought up that "Richard III" was at the door. Shakespearesent a messageback to Burbage, saying that rUfilliam the Conqueror came before Richard III.

3 Shakespearewas godfather to one of Ben Jonson's children and after the christening appearedsunk in deepthought.Jonsonaskedhim replied that what was the matter. Shakespeare he had beenponderingwhat to give the child as a christeningpresent,but now he had made up his mind: "l'll give him a dozen good latten spoons and thou shalt translatethem." {The ultimate sourceof this witticism is a collection of "Merry Passages and Jests" in a manuscript in the British Library. Latten was a yellow metal, similar to brass in composition, which was commonly usedfor householdutensilsin the sixteenth and seventeenthcenturies;the second part of the pun relies upon the alchemists'supposedpractice of "translating" base metals.ilto gold. Whether apocryphalor not, this is a pleasantillustration of the difference that their contemporaries perceived between the learnedBen and the "unlatined" Shakespeare.) 4 Once when Shakespeare was acting the role of a king, Queen Elizabeth thought she would seeif she could distract him from his part and purposely let her handkerchief flutter to the stageat the actor's feet. Shakespearedid not hesitate. "Take up our sister'shandkerchief," he instructed one of the stagecourtiers in his train. {There seemsto be no reliable contemporary source for this pretty tale. Compare the old theatrical tradition that Shakespeare neverreachedany eminence as an actor greaterthan that of the ghost in his own Hamlet.)

4., ..S Omar [Michel Shalhoub] SHARIF, (1932- ), Egyptianactor. His films include Lawrence of Arabia (1952), Dr. Zhivago (1965),and FunnyGirl (1958). | "Tell ffi€, Mr. Sharif,"askeda journalist, "with your reputationas a ladykiller,what should one talk to women about?" "Their beauty,of course,"repliedthe actor without hesitation."But what if theyareugly?""Then aboutotherwomen'sugliness." &.' q8 Britishwriter. SHARP, William (1855-1905) In the 1890shis work assumed a mysticalcast,

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often drawing upon Celtic myth and legend. These productions appeared under the nom de plume "Fiona Macleod," and Sharp strongly insisted on her separateexistence. 1 The Englishscholar'W.P. Ker learnedfrom a mutual acquaintancethat Sharpalways wore women's clothing to write his "Fiona Macleod" romances."Did he?The bitch!" saidKer. 4., q8 SHAW, George Bernard (1356-1950), Irish playwright. Born in Dublin, he went to London at tbe age of twenty, where he remained for the rest of bis life. After writing firt unsuccessful nouelshe becamea music and drama critic and an actiue socialist. He wrote more than forty plays, many of which haue retained their enormous popularity. He was a witty speaker and writer of letters. I When Shaw was a young man just embarking on his lite rary career, he met Oscar til7ilde, then at the height of his fame, in the rooms of a mutual friend in London. Shaw told the company about a magazine that he intended to found, speakingwith such enthusiasmthat his Irish brogue became increasingly evident. Eventually Oscar Wilde interrupted to saythat Shaw had not told them what the magazine would be called."Oh, asfor that, what I'd want to do would be to impressmy own personality on the public - I'd call it Shaw's Magazine. Shaw,Shaw; Shaw," he went otr, pounding the table. "And how would you spell it?" inquired \filde. 2 Before Shaw became famous, one of his plays was consistently turned down by t certain producer. After Shaw achieved success, the producer suddenly cabled an offer to stage the rejectedwork. Shaw cabled in reply: "Better never than late." 3 rU7hileShaw was still a music critic, he was dining with a friend in a restaurant that provided for entertainment an orchestra that was at best mediocre. The leader, recognizing Shaw, wrote him a note asking him what he would like the orchestrato play next. "Dominoesr" replied Shaw. 4 The first performance of Arms and the Man (April 21, 1894) was boisterous. The author

took a curtain call and was received with cheers. \(hile they were subsiding, before Shaw could utter a syllable,a solitary hiss was heard from the gallery. It was made by R. Goulding Bright, who later becamea very successfulliterary agent. Bright hissed,it later appeared,under the misapprehensionthat Shaw's satire on florid Balkan soldiers was, in fact, a reflection on the British army. Shaw did not know this at the time, however,and ashe stood on the stagehe raised his hand to silencethe cheers.Bowing in Bright's direction, he said,"I quite agreewith you, sir, but what can two do against so many?" 5 The Theatre Guild had started rehearsals for the American premiere of Shaw's Saint J oan. Everything was progressing smoothly, except that the play was found to run for three and a half hours, long past the normal curtain time. Suburban playgoerswould miss the last trains home. This information was cabled to Shaw, together with a request that he cut the play. Back came the reply: "Begin at eight or run later trains." 6 The successof Shaw's dramatic writings was an embarrassmentto his socialisticideals. To the play representativewho had sent him a draft of money with promise of more to come, he wrote: "Rapacious Elisabeth Marbury: What do you want me to make a fortune for? Don't you know that the draftyou sent me will permit me to live and preach Socialismfor six months? The next time you have so large an amount to remit, pleasesend it to me by installments,or you will put me to the inconvenience of having a bank account." 7 "George Bernard Shaw, a staunch vegetarian, refused to attend a gala testimonial becausethe bill of farewas a vegetarianmenu. He 'The thought of two thousand people i said: i crunching celery at the same time horrified i r[€.t

tt

8 During the rehearsalsof Pygmalion, Shaw, dissatisfiedwith Mrs. Patrick Campbell's rendering of Eliza Doolittle, ticked her off for her flamboyant style. Mrs. Pat, unused to such treatment, remarked, "You are a terrible man, Mr. Shaw. One d^y you'll eat a beefsteakand then God help all women." The vegetarian Shaw blushed-perhaps.

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s H A r r , G E O R G EB E R N A R D 9 It is said that the dancer Isadora Duncan wrote to Shaw that good eugenics indicated they should havea child together. "Think of it! With my body and your brains, what a wonder it would ber" she said. Shawreplied, "Yes, but what if it hrd my body and your brains?" 10 "At a performance given by an ltalian string quart(:t, Shaw's companion remarked approvingly, l'Thesemen have been playing to'Surelyr' 'we gether for twblve years.' said Shaw, have been here longer than that."' At a dinner party one evening, Shaw sat n next to a pompous young bore who proved to be a mine of uninteresting information. After suffering his neighbor's interminable monologue throughout the meal, Shaw observed, "You know, between the two of us we know all there is to know." His interlocutor was fascinated. "How is that?'n he asked. "'$fellr" replied Shaw, "you seem to know everything except that you're a bore. And I know that!" 12 The military theorist and historian B. H. Liddell Hart once observedto Shaw,"Do you 'sumac'and 'sugar'are know that the only two words in the English languagethat begin with su and are pronounc ed shu?" "Surer" answered Shaw. {Authenticity not guaranteed.} Shaw was once approached by the adver\ tf i tising executive of a company manufacturing electric razorsrin the hope that the great writer would endorse their new product by shaving off his beard. By way of reply, Shaw explained the reason why he, and his father before him, had chosen to grow a beard. "l was about five at the timer" said Shaw,"and I was standingat my father's knee whilst he was shaving.I said to him, 'Daddy, why do you shave?'He looked at me in silence,for a full minute, before throwing ''Sfhy the razor out of the window, sayitrg, the hell do I?' He never did again." I t+ An anthologisr wrote ro Shaw requesting , permission to include one of his pieces in an i anthology. He explained that he was a very I young man and therefore would not be able to : pay Shaw'susual fee. GBS responded,"I'll wait for you to grow up." 15 Arnold Bennett visited Shaw in his apartment and, knowing his host's love of flowers,

' wassurprisedthat therewasnot a singlevaseof flowersto be seen.He remarkedon their absenceto Shaw:"But I thought you were so fond of flowers." "I amr" said Shaw,"and I'm very fond of childrentoo, but I don't chop their headsoff and standthem in pots about the house." bloodsports Irc Knowingthat Shawdetested j asmuch asshedid, LadyAstor remarkedthat , shehated"killing for pleasure."As Shawsaid nothing, someonechallengedhim: "Do you hatekilling for pleasure?" "That dependson whom you kill," he said. 17 A lady notoriousfor coufting celebrities sent Shawan invitation reading:"Lady will be at homeon Tuesdaybetweenfour and six o'clock." Shawreturnedthe card annotated,"Mr. BernardShawlikewise." 18 "Are you enjoyingyourself,Mr. Shaw?" anxiouslyinquiredthe hostess,who had noguestwasstanding ticedthat her distinguished alone in a corner. "Certainlyr" he replied. , "There is nothingelsehereto enjoy." (This is alsoattributed to OscarWilde, and probablyhasbeentold by others.) 19 SamGoldwyn,the Americanmoviemagnate, attemptedto buy from Shaw the film rightsof hisplays.Therewasa protractedh"ggle over what the rights should cost, which endedin Shaw'sdecliningto sell."The trouble is, Mr. Goldwynr" saidShaw,"you are interestedonly in an and I am interestedonly in money.tt

20 A country clergyman, hearing that Shaw was an expeft in the brewing of coffee, wrote to ask him for the recipe. Shaw obliged, adding as an afterthought that he hoped the request was not an underhanded way of obtaining his autograph. The clergymancut Shaw'ssignature from the letter, returned it with a note thanking him for the coffeerecipe,and concluded:"I wrote in good faith, so allow me to return what it is obvious you infinitely prize,but which is of no value to D€, your autograph." 2l Shaw once came acrossa copy of one of his works in a secondhandbookshop. Opening the volume, he found the name of a friend inscribed in his own hand on the flyleaf: "To

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i with esteem,GeorgeBernardShaw."He ptomptly bought the bJok and returnedit to i his friend, adding the inscription:"\fith reI newedesteem,GeorgeBernardShaw." I 22 In conversationwith Shawand his wife, writer PatrickMahony askedMrs. Shawhow shehadcopedwith herhusband'smanyfemale admirers.By way of reply,Mrs. Shawbeganto recountan anecdote:"After we weremarried therewasan actresswho pursuedmy husband. Shethreatenedsuicideif shewerenot allowed toseghim...

tt

"And did shedie of a brokenheart?" "Yes, she didr" interrupted Shaw. "Fifty yearslater." 23 Showing a friend the ponrait bust sculpted for him by Rodin, Shaw remarked: "lt's a funny thing about that bust. As time goes on it seemsto get younger and younger." 24 Once when sitting for the photographer Yousuf Karsh, Shaw said that Karsh "might make a good picture of him - but none as good as the picture he had seen at a recent dinner pafty where he glimpsed, over the shoulder of his hostess, a perfect poftrait of 'Cruel, you understand, a diabolical himself: caricature,but absolutely true.' He had pushed by the lady, approaching the living image, and found he was looking into a mirror!" 25 On July 26, L946, Shaw celebrated his ninetieth birthday. Interviewed by journalist, he commented: "I've been offered"titles, but I think theyget one into disreputablecompany." Ie Among the guests George Bernard Shaw received on his ninetieth birthday was Fabian, Scotland Yard's celebrated detective. At Fabian's suggestion Shaw agreed to have his fingerprints recorded for posterity. To the amazement of both, Shaw's fingerprints were so faint no impression could be obtained. "Wellr" announced Shawr"had I known this sooner I should cenainly have chosen another profession." 27 On a visit to GBS shortly after Shaw's ninetieth birthday, comedian Danny Kaye sought to compliment the plapvright by saying, "You're a young-looking ninety." "Nonsenser"came the crusty reply. "l look exactly

like a manof ninetyshouldlook. Everyoneelse looks older becauseof the dissolutelivesthey lead." Ar' 48 SHAW, Irwin (1913-84),US nouelist.His books,inuoluingcontemporarypolitical and social themes,includeThe Young Lions (1948) The TroubledAir (1951),and Rich Man, Poor Man (1970). ! 1 After waitinganunacceptably longtime for the waiterto takehis order in a Frenchrestaurant, Irwin Shawwasfinallyapproachedby the maitred'h6tel.When the man informedShaw that snailswerethe specialtyof the house,the writer nodded his head."I knowr" he said, "and you'vegot them dressedaswaiters." 2 Shawwasin an airport about to go to Europe. \(rith him washis smallson,who clearly did not want to go anpvhereand was causing somethingof an uproar.\7hen airlineofficials somethingwaswrongwith the child, suggested Shawsaid,"Not at all. He's just my troubled heir." Aro {6 SHAW, Wilbur (1902-54),US racingdriuer, first three-timewinner of theIndianapolis500. He was presidentof the Indianapolis Motor Speedwayat the time of his death in a plane crasb. 1 Shawwasfrustratedat Indianapolisuntil he won his first 500 at the advancedageof thirtyfive.He wasleadingrunner-upRalphHepburn by three miles(morethan a lap on the 2l-mile course)with thirty-fivelaps left when an oil leak developed.Findingout from his pit crew that he was one minute and fourteenseconds ahead of Hepburn, Shaw swiftly calculated how muchhe couldslowdown to conservehis dwindling oil and still finish ahead.He cut speeddrastically;Hepburnstaftedto catchup, passedShawto "un-lap" himself,and now on the samelap spedaround,alwaysclosingthe gap.On the last turn of the last lap Hepburn came evenwith Shawand nosedahead,but Shawtook a chance,accelerated, and crossed the finishline 2.'1,6 secondsin front. His engine quit as he pulled into "Victory Laner" but he had won the closestrace in Indianapolis500 history. "I don't wish to be immodest,but

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sometimes smart pays offr" remarked Shaw later. As, q8 SHEARING, George[Albert] (1,919- ), US jazz pianist, born in Britain. Blind from birth, he made bis name in British iazz clubs before settling in the United Statesin 1947. His compositions include "Lullaby of Birdland" (1945).

Askedwhy he robbedbanks,the notorious Americanbank robberWillie Sutton is reputedto haveremarked,"Becausethat'swherethe moneyis." - Theodore\ilfhite, Americain Searchof Itself

'

I Asked by an admirer whether he had been , blind all his life, Shearingreplied. "Not yet." {A variant of a traditional retorr.} 2 One afternootr, at rush hour, he was waiting at a busy intersection for someoneto take him acrossthe street when another blind man tapped him on the shoulderand askedif Shearing would mind helping him ro ger across. "'What could I do?" saidShearingafterward. "l took him acrossand it was the biggestthrill of my life." As, q8 SHEEN, Fulton J[ohn] (1895-1979), US Roman Catholic clergymnn, educator, and author, created a bishop in 1951. He broadcast regularly on the radio from 1930 and was An instructor of Catholic conuerts.His writings includeThe Moral Universe(1 936)and War and Guilt (1941). I Accepting a televisionaward for spontaneiry, comedian Garry Moore facetiously paid tribute to "the four guys responsiblefor my spontaneity-my writers." The next award went to Fulton Sheen."l also want to pay tribute to my four writers," said the bishop. "Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John." 2 Having studied his contract for atelevision program in detail, the bishop came to the conclusion: "The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away." 3 In Baltimore to addressan interfaith rally, Bishop Fulton J. Sheenwasgreetedby "pplause upon his appearance.He raised a hand for silence,then said: "When you applaud me at the start, that's faith; midway through, that's hope. But, ah, my dear friends, if you applaud me at the end, that will be charity!" 6s, q8

SHELBURNE, William Petty,lst Marquis of -1 805), British politicinn. Lansdowne (1,737 I In March 1780 Lord Shelburne fought a duel with a Lieutenant Colonel William Fullerton over some remarks that the former had made in the House of Lords. Shelburnewas slightly wounded in the groin. As his anxious secondsbent over him, he reassuredthem, saying, "l don't think Lady Shelburnewill be the worse for it." 8s, "48 SHELLEY, Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin (1797-1851), British author. The daughter of political radicals and writers William Godwin and Mary'Wollstonecrnft, she eloped with ShelIey, wbo married her in 1816 after the death of Harriet, his first wife. While liuing in Italy with Shelleyshewrote Frankenstein(1518)and after Sbelley'sdeath prepared editions of his works. 1 During the summer of 181,6 Byron and Shelley were neighbors on the shores of the lake of Geneva.The two poets, together with Byron's friend Dr. John Polidori and Shelley's companions,Mary Godwin and her stepsister Claire Clairmont, spent many an eveningconversing.One night Byron initiated a discussion of ghosts and the supernatural. Polidori recalled that Shelley was so distressedat the conversationthat he ran from the room, maintaining that he had seenthe women's breastsas eyes. Meanwhile Byron suggestedthat all of them write their own ghost stories. From this evening emerged an effort begun by Byron about the ruins of Ephesus,nevercompleted;a tale by Polidori eventually published as The Vampyre; and, by the seventeen-year-old M"ry, the tale of Frankenstein-a story that probably hasfrightenedmore peopleand led to more spin-offsthan any other ghost story in the world.

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2 Shelley's utter disregard for convention may have beena trial to his wife. After his death she was urged to send her surviving son, Percy Florence, to an advancedschool at which the boy would be taught to think for himself. "To

hismother."Oh, I think for himself!"exclaimed \ -y God,teachhim to think like otherpeople!" \ {pt rcy Florence Shelleywas sent to \, Harrow.) F., -8 (1792-1,822), British SHELLEY, PercyBysshe poet. atheistic, mystic, RebellioLts, Romantic Shelleywas onceconsideredas, next to Shakespeare,thegreatestinfluencein Englishpoetr!, accordingto StephenSpender.In the twentieth century his reputation suffered,but recently his dazzlingimagscholarshauereinuestigated ery and remarkableintellectualpower. The irregularityof his personallife led Shelleyto ltaly in 1818,wherehe spenthis remainingyears, writing most of his finestpoetry. | (Thomas Jefferson Hogg records an early exploit of Shelley's.) As a young man he went on a short journey in rural Sussex.There was a full complement of passengerson the outside of the coach, bu! Shelleytook an inside seat and for a time had the interior to himself.Then the coach stopped and picked up a large elderly woman carrying two vast panniers, one filled with apples, the other with onions. In the stuffy coach the smell of apples,onions, and sweatyold woman soon becameoverwhelming. Seatinghimself on the floor, Shelley fixed his unwanted companion with a wild glare and began to recite Richard II's lament from Shakespeare'splay -c6ps1 God's sake let us sit upon the ground . . ." When he got to the words, "All murder'dr" the old woman's neffe could standit no longer and sheyelledat the coach driver to stop and let her out. She duly exited, and Shelleywas able to complete his journey in comfort. 2 Early in 1822 Shelley's household was joined by the young English adventurer Edward J. Trelawny, a sportsman and extrovert who greatly admired the impractical and wayward poet. Trelawny found a deep pool in the river where he liked to bathe. One d^y, after watching Trelawny performing various aquatic feats, Shelley said wistfully, "Why can't I swim?" Trelawny immediately offered to teach

him. Shelleystripped off his clothes and leaped in - plunging straight to the bottom of the pool, where he hy motionless. Trelawny jumped into the water and managedto haul the poet out. Shelleywas not at all flusteredby the narrowness of his escape."I always find the bottom of the well and they saytruth lies there. In another minute I should have found it, and you would have found an empty shell. It is an easy way to get rid of the body." Only a few months later Shelleywas drowned while sailing near Leghorn in squally weather.

4., '.6 SHERIDAN, Philip Henry (1831-88),US aftr1yofficer.His mostfamousfeatwasbis uictory at CedarCreek(1854),which he brought about by a twenty-miledash on horsebackto He rally his troops againstthe Confederntes. later becamecommnnderin chief of the US aftny (1883). {i

helda conference In January!869 Sheridan

with Indian chiefs at Fort Cobb in the then Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma). \7hen the Comanche chief Toch-a-way was introduced, he said to Sheridan, "Me Toch-away, me good Indian." "The only good Indians I ever saw were deadr" retofted Sheridan. {This remark was modified later to the proverbial "The only good Indian is a d Indian.")

2 While commanding the Military Division of the Gulf, Sheridan spent time at San Antonio, Texas. Asked by a local reporter his opinion of Texas as a country to live in, he answered,"If I owned two plantationsand one was located in Texas and the other one was in hell, I'd rent out the one in Texas and live on the other one." This comment was printed with a note from the editor that read: "'Well, damn a man that wonot stand up for his own country."

6'' "8 (175L-1.816), SHERIDAN,RichardBrinsley Anglo-Irish playwright. Born in Dublin, he liued in England from childhood on. His bestknown comediesare The Rivals (1775) andThe School for Scandal(1777). He wAs managerof the Drury Lane Theatre in London and a member of Parliament from 1780 to 1812. Although he neuer achieued political power, he

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acquireda reputationas a winy parliamentary orAtor. I Lord Thurlow produced a bottle of particularly good Constantia wine, specially sent from the Cape of Good Hope, at a dinner at which Sheridan was a guest. Sheridan greatly appreciatedthe wine and tried, by praising and hinting, to persuadeLord Thurlow to bring out another bottle. The host, however, was determined not to be overgenerouswith this rare treat, and Sheridan eventually saw that his efforts were vain. Turning to his next neighbor, he gestured toward the decanter of Madeira and said, "Pass the decanter.I must return to Madeira since I cannot double the Cape." 2 A lady anxious to take a walk with Sheridan observedthat the weather had clearedup sufficiently for them to set out. Sheridan, equally anxious to avoid the t€te-t-tOte, replied, "It may have cleared up enough for one, but not enough for two." 3 Two royal dukes, meeting Sheridanin London's Piccadilly, greeted him familiarly. Said one, "l say, Sherry, we were just discussing whether you are more rogue or fool." "Why," replied Sheridan, taking each duke by the arm, "I believe I am between both." 4 Once a senrant dropped a heap of plates with a tremendous crash.Sheridanrebuked the man, saying, "l suppose you've broken all of them.tt "No, sir, not oner" said the man. "Then, you mean to say you have made all that noise for nothing!" i5 Sheridan'sfinancial affairswere constantly i in disorder, and debt was a chronic state with I him. "Thank God, that's settledr" he is reported to have said, handing over an IOU to a i creditor. i 6 A long-sufferingcreditor importuned Sheridan to name a date for payment. "The day of iudgroentr" cried the harassedauthor. "But, , no - stay- that will be a busy d"y. Make it the d^y after." : 7 Sheridan had borrowed five hundred i pounds from a friend, who took every opportunity to remind him of the debt. On one such i occasion Sheridan added insult to iniury by

asking for a further twenty-five pounds to pay for a journey he had to make. On receivingthe inevitable refusal Sheridan complained, "My dear fellow, be reasonable;the sum you ask me for is a very considerableone, whereasI only ask you for twenty-five pounds." 8 Sheridan'stailor grew tired of asking the writer to pay off his bill. "At least you could pay me the interest on itr" he reasoned."It is not my interest to pay the princip?lr" replied Sheridan,"nor my principle to pay the interest.tt

9 Edmund Burke was delivering one of his stupendous orations in the House of Commons. At the climax he underlined his point by brandishing the daggerhe had brought into the chamberwith him and plunging it into the desk in front of him. In the srunned hush that followed this piece of histrionics the voice of Sheridan was heard saying, "The honorable gentleman has brought his knife with him, but where's his fork?" 10 One of the nine members of Parliament controlled by the Earl of Lonsdale under the pre-Reform Bill electoral systemmade a highly bombastic speechin the House of Commons. Edmund Burke replied with savageand devastating sarcasm.The cheersand applauseat the end of his speechwere still echoingaround the House when Charles Fox entered and asked Sheridanwhat had beengoing on. "Nothing of consequencer"replied Sheridan,"only Burke has knocked down one of Lord Lonsdale's ninepins." n Sheridanhad been askedto apologizefor insulting a fellow member of Parliament."Mr. Speakerr"replied Sheridan,"l said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases." 12 Richard Cumberland was a dramatistspecializingin a brand of sentimentalcomedy that was rendered unfashionableby the comedy of Goldsmith and Sheridan. Nonetheless, he agreed to take his children to see Sheridan's School for Scandal.The children would have enjoyed themselveshugely,but everytime they laughed, Cumberland hissed, "What are you laughing dt, my dear little folks? You should not laugh, my angels.There is nothing to laugh

505 he snapped: at." Finally, in exasperation, 'When "Keepstill,you little dunces." this story sometimelater,he obwasretailedto Sheridan sewed,"lt wasveryungratefulin Cumberland with his poor children to havebeendispleased for laughingat my comedy;for I went the other night to seehis tragedy,and laughedat it from beginningto end." (Cumberlandstronglydeniedthe truth of this story and eventuallyconvinced Sheridanof its falsehood,but in the meantimeSheridanhad exacteda neat revengeby satirizingCumberlandin his comedyTheCritic (1779)underthecharacterof Sir Fretful Plagiary.) ..13 Like his father,Sheridan's son Tom was ,'perpetuallyshort of money. Father and son A few days later, ; ooc€ had a disagreement. i Sheridantold Tom that he had madehis will and cut him off with a shilling."f'm sorry to hear that, sirr" said Tom. Then, after a moment'sthought,he added,"You don't happen to havethe shillingaboutyou now, do you?" !t+ Sheridan'sson Tom was talking someparabouta prospective i what sanctimoniously i liamentarycareer."Many menwho are called greatpatriots in the House of Commonsare reallygreathumbuBSr"saidhe. "For my own ,paft, when I get into Parliament,I will pledge myselfto no partyrbutwrite uponmy forehead 'To Be Let."' in legiblecharacters "And underitoTomr" saidSheridan,"write ' 'Unfurnished."' 15 On the night of February24, 1809,the House of Commons was suddenly illuminated by r blazeof light. It was learned that the Drury Lane Theatre, of which Sheridanwas the manager at that time, was on fire. A motion was made to adjourn the House, but Sheridan,who was in the chamber, said calmly, "'Whatsoever might be the extent of the private calamity, I hope it will not interfere with the public businessof the country." He then left the House and walked to Dru ry Lane, where he watched the blazing theater with apparent calm. \7hile he was sitting in the nearby Piazzacoffeehouse, a friend approached him and remarked on the philosophic calmnesswith which he bore his misfortune. Sheridan answered, "A man may surely be allowed to take a glassof wine by his own fireside."

SHERMAN

16 Sheridanwas sufficientlyintimate with the future GeorgeIV to makegentlefun of his suchas his habit of taking the idiosyncrasies, credit for anythinggood that happenedin England. After an unusuallyfine summer one year, Sheridanremarked,"What His Royal Highnessmostparticularlyprideshimselfupon is the excellentharvest." 17 Sheridan showed little concern when warnedthat his heavydrinkingwould destroy the coat of his stomach."'W'ell,thenr" he replied, "-y stomachmust just digest in its waistcoat." Aro ..S SHERMAN, William Tecumseh(1820-91), USgeneral.His strategicplanning,and in particularhis marchto thesea(1564)from Atlanu of the to Sauannah,werecrucialto the success [Jnion forcesin the AmericanCiuil WAr. I After the Mexican War, Shermanwassent by PresidentZachary Taylor to suryey the newlyacquiredlandsof New Mexico,Arizona' and California.On his return, Taylor asked Sherman:"'Well,Captain,will our newpossessionspay for the blood and treasurespentin the war?" Recalling'thearid landshe had iust explored,Shermanreplied,"Betweenyou and ffi€, General,I feel that we'll haveto go to war again." Taylor was aghast."'What for?" he 'em take the darn country asked."To make backlo'saidSherman. in lZ During one of his many engagements Georgiain lS64rShermanwashavingdifficulty breakingthroughthe enemyfront. He decided to sendGeneralCox's division to attack the positionedhimselfon a opposingleft. Sherman high hill to watch the operationsandgaveCox his final ordersfor the circuitousmarch:"See here,Cox, burna few barnsoccasionally asyou go along.I can't understandthosesignalflags, but I know what smokemeans." {3 Receiving a telegram from the Republican I convention asking him to be the presidential i candidatein 1884;Shermanwired back: "I will i not accept if nominated, and will not serve if \elected." , {This is better known in the pithier veri sion: "If nominated, I will not accept. If elected, I will not serre.")

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SHI HUANGDI (late 3d century BC),first emperor of China. He wds notorious for the seuerity of his rule, during which he executed hundreds of opponents and burned all books that conflicted with his autocratic policies. Toward the end of his life he liued in total seclusion, gouerning through officials from whom he demanded instant obedience. 1 Shi Huangdi died while on ; journey to seek the elixir of life. Two of his confidants, Zhao Gao and Li Si, feared that the crown prince, who objected to his father's harsh regime, would dismissand perhapsevenexecute them if he became emperor. They therefore hatched a plan to place another of Shi Huangdi's sonson the throne. The first part of this plan involved concealingthe old emperor's death from the world. Enclosing the body in his traveling carrrage,they gaveorders to return to the capital. The weather was warm and the corpsesoon beganto putrefy. Zhao Gao and Li Si therefore affanged for the imperial carriage to be closely followed by a cart laden with rotting fish.The stenchof fish was so overpowering that not even the emperor's bodyguard detected the smell of the putrefying body, and the conspiratorssucceededin reachingthe capital without the emperor'sdeath being discovered.There they usedthe emperor'ssealto sign a decree commanding the crown prince to commit suicide, whereupon they established their own candidate on the throne of China. A$, q8 SHOR, Toots (died L977), New York restaurant owner. I A fervent Giants fan, Shor was chatting one eveningin his place with Sir Alexander Fleming, the discovererof penicillin. A waiter told Shor that the Giants' manag€r,Mel Ott, had just arrived. "Excuse me," Shor said to Fleming, "but I gotta leave you. Somebody important iust came in.tt

2 "Toots once argued his dear friend Leo Durocher into a delicatetrap that looked like it would disrupt their palship. Toots, who consideredhimselfa masterbaseballstrategist,had informed Durocher that he had madea colossal blunder, and Durocher told Toots he was insane.

" 'You're a slimy,creepy,crummy crumbum and alsoa pieceof raisincake,'Toots snarledat Leo, who had thought up to that time that they 'You're a baseballimbecile.' were buddies. "'Why, Iou walrusr' screamedDurocher, 'when we beat Clevelandin the seriesyou saidI was a genius- thanks to your help.' "'You bald-headed slob!' roared Toots. 'Why, if I was to name the 10 best baseball managslS-' "'Name them; go ahead and name them!' shoutedLeo. He was furious in this moment of ''Who's first?' he challenged Toots. truth. 'stengel?' 'Why, you "'Casey Stengel?'bawled Toots. baseballimbecile!The No. 1 baseballmanager is Leo Durocher!"' 3 "In Shor's,all men were equal,which is to say everybody was a crumb-bum. The celebrated,accustomedto obsequiousbowing and scraping,encountereda different reception in the brick house. There was the night Charles Chaplin was annoyedby an invitation to wait in line for a table. "'It'll be about a half-hour, Charlie,'Toots bawled. 'Be funnv for the folks."' 4., 48 SHUTER, Edward (1728-76), British comic actor. 1 Chided for having holes in his stocking, Shuter replied that he would rather have twenty holes than one darn. "A hole is the accident of a day,while a darn is premeditated poverty." {This sayingis also attributed to others.) As, *t SIBELIUS, Jean (1855-1957),Finnish composer. In addition to his seuensymphoniesand his uiolin concerto he wrote seueraltone poems based on Finnish legends, including En Saga, The Swan of Tuonela, Finlandra,and Tapiola. He ceasedto compose in 1929, although An eighth symphony is thought to haue been written and subsequently destroyed by the composer. I Sibeliuswas hostingaparty at which many of those invited were businessmen."\(/hy businessmen?"asked one of his other guests. "What do you talk about with them?"

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"About music,of courser"repliedthe composer."I can't talk about music with musicians.All they talk about is money." SeealsoGeoncn BEnNARD SHew L9. 6r, {6 SICKERT, Walter Richard (1850-1942), British Impressionist painter. Between 1895 and 1905 he produced two fire seriesof paintingsof Veniceand Dieppe. He is also knownfor his music-hall scenesand depiction of domestic life. I Two young men who cameto havetea with Sickert at his studio rather overstayed their welcome. As they were leaving, Sickert said, quite amicably, "And do come back, when you've a little lesstime to spare." 2 Sickert was on vacation in Dieppe with his friend, artist Walter Taylor. The two men went out to bathe one morning, Taylor remaining close to the shore as he was not a strong swimmer. Sickert swam out for about half a mile. Turning back, he saw that Taylor was in difficulties and watched, helpless,ashis friend sank below the surface.He immediately struck out for the shore, where he was amazed to find Taylor calmly sunbathing."Good God, man!" he cried. "I saw you sinking!" "Yes," replied Taylor in his slow, deliberate mannetr"l . . . did . . . sink, but. . . whgn o . . I . . . r e a c h e d ., . t h e . . . b o t t o m , L . . tlf said, o . to . . . myself, . . . I o, . walk , . . u p h i l l, . 1 . . s h a l .l . . g e t . . . t o . ! . t h e . . . s h o r e . t A n d s o . .. 1 . . . w a l k e d . . . uphill . . and . ., here . . . l . . . amltt The astounded Sickert could only Basp, "\7hy does anybody ever drown!" 3 At a dinner party Sickert was in dazzling conversational form, much to the irritation of the novelist and portrait-painter \Tyndham Lewis, who himself liked to dominate the conversation. Toward the end of the meal Sickert insisted upon Lewis's acceptinga cigar:"I give you this cigarbecauseI so greatly admire your writings." Lewis'smorose expressionlightened but only for amoment, as Sickert went otr, "If I liked your paintings,I'd give you a biggerone." Ar, '.8 SIDDONS, Sarah (1,755-183I),British tragic actress,sister of John and Charles Kemble and

aunt of Fanny Kemble.Sheexcelledin Shakespeareanroles. I The daughterof the theatrical manager Roger Kemble,Sarahwas brought up in the stage environment.Her father nonetheless strictly forbade his beautiful and talented daughterto marryan actor.Despitethisprohibition, shebestowedher affectionson \U(rilliam Siddons,a lowly constituentof her father's RogerKembleleccompany.The exasperated turedSarahon herchoice,concludingwith the statementthat not only wasWilliam Siddonsa memberof a dubiousprofessionbut alsothe worst one in the troupe."Exactlyr" saidSarah sweetly."No one cancall him an actor." 2 When Sir Joshua Reynoldspainted his famousportrait of SarahSiddonsasthe Tragic Muse,headdedhisnameby workingit into the borderof herrobe.Mrs. Siddonsexaminedthe pictureminutelyandsmiled.Reynoldssaid,"I could not losethis opportunityof sendingmy name to posterityon the hem of your g rment.tt

3 (In 1783 SarahSiddons paid a call on Dr. Johnson, then in his seventies.) "When Mrs. Siddons came into the room, there happened to be no chair ready for her, 'Madaffi, which he obseroing,said with a smile, you who so often occasion a want of seatsto other people, will the more easily excuse the want of one yourself."' 4 SarahSiddons'shigh dramatic style tended to spill over into her everydaylife. (As Sydney Smith obseryed of her at the dinner table, "It was never without awe that one saw her stab the potatoes.") In Bath to play some of her favorite tragic roles, she visited a draper's shop to buy some fabric. Picking up a piece of muslin, shelooked with greatintensity at the shopman and said with the utmost solemnity and dramatic effect, "Did you say, sir, that this would wash?" The draper suspectedthat he had a lunatic in his shop. Mrs. Siddons recollected herselfat the sight of his surprise,apologized, and repeated the question in a more normal tone of voice. 5 During a tour of the north of England, Mrs. Siddons was playing the role of a tragic queen who commits suicide by taking poison. At one

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performance,as sheraisedthe cup of poison to her lips, the spellboundsilenceof the audience was shattered by a shout of encouragement from the gallery: "That's reet, Molly. Soop it oop, ma lass,soop it oop." Ac' 48 SIDNEY, Sir Philip (1554-85),Englishwriter, soldier, and courtier, whose talents and charm made him the model of Elizabethan behauior. His posthumously published writings include the loue sonnets entitled Astrophel and Stella (1591), the prose romance Arcadia(1590),and the critical treatise An Apologie for Poetrie (1598). He died fighting the Spaniards in the Netherlands. I At Zutphen Sidney was wounded in the thigh. As he was being carriedalong to havethe wound dressed,he sufferedgreatly from thirst, owing to loss of blood. A water bottle was found and brought to him. Putting it to his lips, he caught sight of another wounded man, a humble soldier,looking longin glyat the water. Sidney at once passedthe bottle to him with the words, "Thy needis yet greaterthan mine." Seealso ArpxaNDER THE Gnner 9 and CoNrucIUs 2. 0s' qt SIEYES, Emmanuel-Joseph,Abbe de (17481835),Frenchclericand statesman.He had considerable influence ot)er the course of the ReuoIution. He later held postsunder Napoleon. I After the Terror, a friend inquired of the abbe what he had done during those terrible years. "l'ai udcu I sunrived]," he said. As' q8 SIGISMUND (1368-1437),Holy Roman Emperor (1414-37). 1 The emperor was once askedhis recipe for lasting happiness in this world. "Only do alwaysin health what you have often promised to do when you are sick," he replied. As, 48 SILLS, Beverly (7929- ), US operatic soprano. Sheioined the New York City Opera in 1955 and in L979 was named its director. I One of Miss Sills's elder brothers was a well-known obstetrician. Someone remarked

to her that he did not attendmanyof her performances."Why shouldhe?"shereplied."l don't attendhis deliveries." &.i, 48

SILVERMAN, Fred (1,937- ), US broadcaster and former president of CBS. 1 A few daysbefore Yom Kippur Fred Silverman was askedby t friend if he would be going home for the holiday. Silvermanaskedon what dry the event fell. "Wednesday," the friend informed him. "'Wednesday?"cried Silverman. "You meanthey'vescheduledYom Kippur opptrsite Charlie's Angelsi" As, e8 SILVERS, Phil (1912-85), US screen and teleuision comedian, well known to teleuision uiewers as Sergeant Bilko. 1 A friend of Phil Silverswho saw him as the Man Who Has Everything and could think of no gift specialenough,found the perfect solution when Silversarrived for a weekend visit, driving, appropriately, a Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud. "You won't need that bus this weeketrd," saidthe host. "Let me take it in for acheckup." Silversnot objecting, his friend arranged for the surreptitious overnight installation of a built-in bar, a high-fidelity cassetteplayer, a color television set, and a videocassetterecorder. The Rolls was delivered just before Silverswas to leave Mon d^y morning, and his friend remarked casually,"You'd better check before you start out, Phil, just to be sure everything is in shape." "Oh, that doesn't matterr" said Silvers."lt's a rented car." As' aB SIMENON, Georges (1903-89) , Belgian nouelist. He is best known as the creator of Inspector Maigret, the Parisian commissaire de police, but the Maigret detectiue stories are only a small part of his prolific output. I As a young man Simenonwas proud of his athletic abilities.Once after a late-nightdiscussion in a Lidge bar with a stranger, he challenged the man to a hundred-yard dash. The course was marked off between lampposts in the desertedstreet.The racewas run. Much to

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Simenon's chagrin, the stranger held him to a tie. It was only afterward that he found out that the man was an Olympic runner. 2 One of the reasonsfor Simenon's prolific output was the speedat which he was able to produce a novel. Director Alfred Hitchcock happened to telephone him from the United States while he was working on his 158th novel. Madame Simenon took the call. "l'm sorry," she said, "Georges is writing and I would rather not disturb him." "Let him finish his book," replied Hitchcock. "I'll hang on."

3 Strollingdown ^ Parisianboulevardwith the playwrightMarcel Pagnolone afternooo, Simenonsuddenlyexclaimed,"Goodness,she must be very pretty!" Looking ahead,Pagnol could seeonly ^ coupleof youngmenwalking he asked. in their direction."'Who?\U7here?" "She's behind us," replied Simenon."Then how canyou seeher?"askedPagnol."l can'tr" saidSimenon."But I can seethe look in the men." eyesof the approaching 4., -8 SIMON, John Allsebrook, lst Viscount (1,87 3 -1,954), British politician;lord chancellor (1940-45).HewasaLiberalMP formanyyears (1905-78,1922-40),andhelda numberof cabinet offices. I Simon's talent for temporizing was not appreciated by other politicians. Lloyd George is 'John Simon has sat said to have complained, on the fence so long that the iron has entered his-er-soul." 6ro ..6 SIMON, Richard Leo (1889-1960),USpublisher. In 1924, with Max L. Schuster(18971971"),he founded the pubtishiing company Simon and Schuster. 1 Launching a new children's book, Dr. Dan the BandageMan, Simon decided to include a free gift of six Band-Aids with each copy. He cabled a friend at the manufacturers,Johnson and Johnson: "Please ship half million BandAids immediately." Back came the reply: "Band-Aids on the way. \7hat the hell h"ppened to you?" Ar, .8

SINATRA, Frank (1915- ), US singerand fil* actor.He appearedin a numberof successfrl films, including From Here ro Eternity (1953),for which he won an Oscar,Guysand Dolls (1955),and The ManchurianCandidate (1952). I In thesummerof L943ratthe open-airStadium in New York City, the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, one of the world's greatest,gaveits usual distinguishedperformance.The guest"aftist" was Frank Sinatra, who came up with "Sunday, Monday, or Always" and similargems.At the closeof his performance, acknowledging the shrieksof his youngadmirers,Sinatraturnedwith a gracious gestureto the dazedmusicians behindhim and said,"On behalfof myselfand the boysin the 'thanks!'" band- I want to say 2 Havingsuffereda seriesof faintingfits,Sinatraconsultedhis doctor."How muchmoney do you earn,Mr. Sinatra?"askedthe doctor. "somewherebetweenfour hundredthousand and a million dollarsa yearr" repliedSinatra "ln that case,"advisedthe doctor, carelessly. "I suggestyou go right out and buy yourself somered meat.You're sufferingfrom malnutrition." 3 Sinatraoften traveledmanymilesout of his way to visit hospitalizedfriends and sing to them. It was said that the more seriousthe illness,the morepunctilioushe wasin visiting. One friend, who was sufferingfrom a minor complaintbut wasafraidthatthe doctorswere not tellinghim the truth, awokesuddenlyin his hospitalroom to find Sinatraat his bedside. The singerhad beenin the neighborhoodand had just calledin. The patientwasappalled."l knew it!" he yelled."They've been lying to me!" Ary ..6 (1904- ), USwriter, SINGER, IsaacBashevis born into aJewishfamily in Poland.His works, written in Yiddish, often deal with traditional Jewishlife in Poland;they includeGimpel the Fool (1957),The Slave(1950),and collections of short stories.SingerwAsawardedthe 1978 NobelPrizefor literAtttre. I An interviewerasked Singerwhether he was a vegetarian for religious reasons or

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becauseof his health. "It is out of consideration for the chicken," he replied. 2 Singer was asked whether he believed in free will or predestination."'We haveto believe in free willr" he replied."'We'vegot no choice." A+ e4 SITWELL, Dame Edith (1887-1954),British poet, daughter of Sir GeorgeSitwell. Sheioined her brothers Osbert and Saclteuerellas rebels against bourgeois philistinism. Her most famous workis Fagade (1922),a seriesof poems recited to music composed by William Walton. I Miss Sitwell broke the news to her parents that she was leaving the family home. "I can write so much better when I'm aloner" she explained. "And you prefer poetry to human love?" asked her father. "As a professionr" replied Edith, "yes." 2 (Osbert Sitwell tells about a guest at the Sitwells' home, Renishaw Hall:) "A man whom we had neverseenbefore was wished on us for luncheon one d"y. He was placed next to my sister, and took it into his head to enquire of her: 'Do you rememberthis house being built, Miss Sitwell?' Mrs. [Alice] Keppel overheardthis, and saidto him quickly: 'My dear man, be careful!Not even the nicest girl in the world likes to be askedif she is four hundred yearsold."' 3 Edith Sitwell was accustomedto ferocious attacks on her poetry. At one gathering at which shehad beenreadingsome of her poems aloud, a woman came up to her and announced, "l just wanted to tell you, Miss Sitwell, that I quite enjoyed your last book of poems." Shepausedand then seemedabout to go on when Edith Sitwell interrupted her. "Now please don't say any morer" she said. "You mustn't spoil me. It isn't good for me to be spoiled." \4

In 1954 Edith Sitwell was given the title Dame of the British Empire. On a visit to the United Statesan American came up to her and aggressively,"Why do you call isaid rather 'Dame'?" fyourself I "I don'tr" she replied. "The queen does."

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SITWELL, Sir GeorgeReresby(1850-1943), British antiquarian and eccentric. His foibles Are recalledby his son Sir Osbert Sitwell in his autobiography and in his book of essays,Tales My Father Taught Me (1952). I Having in a fit of unsociability banishedall visitors from his home, Renishaw Hall, Sir George was soon overcome by boredom. He confided to Osbert that he felt like taking a holiday and describedthe sort of hotel that he thought would suit him: a secluded country housewith fine grounds,good views,and a few congenialfellow gueststo whom he could talk. Osbert immediately recalled a newspaperadvertisement he had seen that morning for what was clearly an expensiveprivate institution for the mentally deranged.He described the "hotel" in glowing and inventive terms. Sir Georgeagreedthat it sounded exactly what he was looking for. Sir George'ssecretarywas told to book a room for the month of September, and the whole Sitwell family joined in extolling the virtues of the supposedhotel. The eagerly awaited confirmation of the booking arrived. Unfortunately, the asylum director had added a postscript: "Ought a strait-waistcoat to be sent for Sir Georgeto wear during the journey, which will be made by van?Three strong and practisedmale nurseswill, of course, be in attendance, and prepared to quell any disturbance on the way." 2 (Sir Osbert Sitwell recalls a narrowly avertedcontretempsat atea party at which one of the guests was a certain Mrs. Brooke. Sir Georgehad begunthe conversationwith a spirited attack on modern art and from there he moved on to modern poetry.) "He was just saying: 'Then there was that young man who died in the Dardanelles- I forget his name- they try to make out he wasa genius,but no good, no good, I canassurelou,' when with a startlingsuddennessI realizedwhy Mrs. Brooke's face was so familiar-from photographsin the Pressof Rupert Brooke: the resemblancewas very marked; she must be his mother. I gavemy father a good kick under the tea-table,but he did not evenpause;only the as yet undreamt-of H-bomb could have stopped him. He went on: 'His poems were grossly over-praisedin the Press.' . . . I could hardly believemy ears.Could it be true that this was really happening, or was it just a nightmare

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instalment of an instant in hell? Before, however, his memory could supply the missing name, the crowning horror was skilfully 'Sir averted. . . . Georger' our hostessbravely oyou intervened, are sitting next to Mrs. Brooke, the mother of that wonderful young poet, Rupert Brooke. I must tell you, becaus€,' she proceeded, drawing on her imagination, 'before tea you were just sayingto me - but we were interrupted - how much you admired his 'how workr'and continued, different it is from the work of that other young poet - I, too, forget his name for the moment - of whom you were speaking.' "My father looked puzzled but said no more.tt A$ .4 English poet SKELTON, John (?1,460-1529), at the court of Henry VIII. He is best remembered for his lament for the death of a Pet bird, Phylyp Sparowe. I Enjoying the position of a licensedjesterat Henry VIII's court, Skelton could satirize the great and powerful with virtual impunity. At last, however, with Why Come Ye Nof to Courtel he went too far in his attack on Cardinal \7olsey, and the cardinal threw him into prison. In the Merie Tales, which contain a number of (probably fictional) anecdotes about Skelton, he is shown as kneeling before \tr(olseyto ask for pardon. The cardinal ranted at him for some time. At last Skelton said, "l pray Your Grace to let me lie down and wallow, for I can kneel no longer." A" 't6 SKELTON, comediAn.

Red [Richard] (1913-

), US

I In 1951 Red Skelton and a party of friends flew to Europ€, where Skelton was to app earat the London Palladium. As they were flying over the SwissAlps, three of the airplane's engines failed. The situation looked very grave and the passengersbeganto pray. Skelton went into one of his best comic routines to distract them from the emergency as the plane lost height, coming closer and closer to the ominous-looking mountains. At the last moment the pilot spied a large field among the precipitous slopesand made a perfect landittg. Skelton broke the relieved silence by sayirg, "Now, ladies and gentlemen,you may return

to all the evil habits you gave up twenty minutes ago."

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SKINNER, CorneliaOtis (1901-1979),US actressand writer.

Fo' 44 SKINNER, Otis (1858-1942),US stageactor, father of Cornelia Otis Skinner.He starredin many plays,includingHamlet (1895),Kismet (1911-14),and Bloodand Sand(1921-22). I At the rehearsal for hisdaughter's wedding, Skinneraskedthe ministerwhat he was supposedto sayin reply to the question:"Who giveththis woman . . ." "You don't saya thing, Mr. Skinnerr"repliedthe minister."You justhandyour daughter over.tt "Nonsenser" said Skinner. "l've played a walk-on part in my life."

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A'' 48 SLEZAK, Leo (1,873-1946), Czechoslouak tenor. A tall and imposing fig4re, he won widespread acclaim for his heroic roles, particulorb in Wagnerian opera. I At the end of Wagner's opera Lohengrin a magic swan appears,drawing a boat to take the hero back to rejoin the fellowship of the Knights of the Holy Grail. On one occasion when Slezakwas singing Lohengrin, the apparatus failed to function properly and sailed off back into the wings, leavingthe tenor stranded on the stage.Amid consternation among performers and stage hands Slezak muttered, "'When does the next swan leave?" {This story is also told of Lauritz Melchior and JosephTichatschek, but Frederick Jagel, another tenor, vouches for Slezak.) 2 Slezakhad just left his residencein Vienna for a performance in Zwich when his valet discovered that the singer had left behind an important part of his costume- a magnificent crown studded with artificial jewels. He

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wrapped it up in a sheet of newspaper and rushed off to the station, where he just had time to thrust the packageinto his employer's handsasthe train moved away. During the long overnight journey, d customs officer boarded the train. "Anything to declare?"he askedashe passed through Slezak'scompartment. "No, nothing," replied the singer,who had been trying to catch a few hours' sleep.The customs officer glanced around the compartment. "Open that!" he snapped, pointing at the hastily wrapped package. With ill-disguised irritatioo, Slezak tore off the newspaper and uncovered the crown. The customs officer gasped. Then, standing to attentioD, he ex' claimed, "Oh! Incognito! Please excuse ffi€, Your Majesty." A" 't8 SMITH, Adam (L723-90), Scottisheconomist and philosopher. His fame restson his Inquiry into the Nature and Causesof the \U(ealthof Nations (1776).

Turning to Walker,Smithsaid,"Gee, I hopej we're right!" d 2 Irritatedby the constantinterruption,of aI heckler,Smithoncepausedin the middleof "f speech."Go ahead,Al, don't let me botherI you," shoutedthe heckler."Tell 'em all you I know. It won't take you long." Smith was\ quick to respond."lf I tell 'em all we both t knowr" he cried, "it won't take me any \ longer." 3 During one of his termsasgovernor of New York, Smith was late for a broadcast he was due to make. He haileda taxi to take him to the radio station, but the driver, who did not recognize the governor, refused to take him. He explained that he was in a hurry himself, anxious to be home in time to hear Governor Smith talk on the radio. Smith, flattered, held out a five-dollar bill and repeatedhis request. The driver's eyeslit up. "Hop in, mister," he said, "and to hell with the governor." Al, ..6

I Smith was known for his absentmindedness.One Sunday morning he wandered into his garden wearing only a nightgown and soon becameengrossedin philosophicalcontemplation. Totally absorbed in his train of thought, he went out into the street and beganwalking in the direction of Dunfermline. He had covered the twelve miles to the town before the ringing of the church bells aroused him from his reverie. Regular churchgoers arriving for the morning servicewere astonishedto find the eminent philosopher in their midst, still clad only in his nightgown.

Al, ..6 US SMITH, Alfred Emanuel (1,873-1.944), politician.Electedgouernorof Neut York State four times(1918,1922,1924,1925),hecarried out many reforms. I Smith was in Albany for a political convention, along with James \il7alker,Herbert Lehman, and many others. One morning, after a night of heavy drinking, Smith and Walker, both Cadyalic, felt that they ought to go to early massasit was a Roman Catholic holy d"y. Tiptoeing through the hotel suite, they looked wistfully at Lehman and their otherJewish colleagues,who were still peacefully sleepingoff the effects of the previous night's excesses.

SMITH, Bessie (1894-1,937), US black iazz singer,known as the"Empress of the Blues." At the height of her fame in the 1920s she made records with Louis Armstrong and Fletcher Henderson. I In September1937 BessieSmith, traveling with her white businessman agernear Clarksdale, Mississippi, was seriously iniured in an auto accident.The doctor who arrived on the scenedirected that the manager,who was suffering from concussion,should be sent to the nearbyhospital but that the singershould go to a "blacks only" hospital many miles away. She bled to death before she got there. Ar' 48 SMITH, F[rederick] E[dwin], lst Earl of Birkenhead (1872-1930), British banister and Consentatiue politicinn. He was attorney general from 1915until 1919,when he becamelord chancellor. In this capacity be wls responsible for the prosecution of the lrish nationalist Sir RogerCasement. An extremely capable lawyer w;ih a ready wit, Smith was the subiect of MargotAsquith's quip: "Very cleuer,but his brains go to his head." 1 A distinguishedOxford don had a panicular way of snubbing clever young undergradu-

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513 ates.He would invite the studentto accompany hip on a long walk, leaving it .to his companionto start the conversation.After a lengthysilencethe embarrassed studentwould usuallymake somebanalremark,and would immediatelybe crushedby the don's reply. The undergraduate F. E. Smith,awareof the don'stactics,setoff for the walk with his own plan of action carefullyworked out. The two menwalkedin completesilencefor morethan an hour, and for onceit wasthe don's turn to feelembarrassed. "They tell mer"hewasfinally compelledto utter, "they tell meyou'reclever, Smith.Are you?" "Yesr" repliedSmith.. No further word was exchangeduntil the men returnedto the college."Goodbye,sirr" saidSmith,"I've so much enioyedour talk." 'u2

As a young man Smith represented a tram-

way companyin a suit broughtby a boy who had beenblinded.The judgedirectedthat the boy belifted onto a chairso that theiury could seehim properly.Thinkingthismadean undue emotionalappealto the iury'ssympathy,Smith protested:"Your Honor, wh)rnot passthe boy aroundthe iuty box?" The iudgerebukedhim for his improperremark."Promptedr" Smith said,"by an equallyimpropersuggestion." Preferringnot to pursuethat one,the judgetried to quashthe young lawyerby quoting Francis Baconat him: "Youth and discretionare illweddedcompanions."Smithwasreadywith a counter-quotation:"My lord, the sameBacon alsosaidthat a much-talkingjudgewaslike an ill-tunedcymbal."The judgefrowned."Now you are beingoffensive,Mr. Smithr" he said. "W. both arer"agreedSmith."The difference fi'*is that I am tryingto be,andyou can'thelpit." 3 Smith once cross-examined a young mani 1f\ claimingdamagesfor an arm injury causedby, { the negligence of a busdriver."\fi[ you pleasef showushow highyou canlift your arrnnow?'l askedSmith.The youngmangingerlyraisedhiC arm to shoulderlevel,his face distortedwitli pain. "Thank your" said Smith. "And nowL pleasewill you showushow highyou couldliff it beforethe accident?"The youngmaneagerlf' shothisarmup abovehishead.He losthiscas{ 4 Smith was cross-examining a rather ner-r -bran vous witness. "Have you ever married?". he asked.

SMITH, F. E.

5 Smith was conducting a lengthy and complicated casebefore a judge whom he regarded as slow and pedantic. As the case drew to its close, the iudge intimated that some of the issues involved were no longer clear to him, upon which Smith gavethe judge a short but very cogent account of all the issuesand their implications. As Smith sat down, the iudge thanked him courteously, but added, "I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but I regret that I am none the wiser." Smith rose wearily to his feet again

"Possibly,my lord, but you are better in formed." 6 WinstonChurchill'spowersof oratorybecamea legend;hisbroadcasts to the nadonand his speeches in the Houseof Commonsduring World War II are world-famous.Not all his friends,however,werecomplimentary.In the L920s,for example,F. E. Smith complained, "'S7instonhasdevotedthe bestyearsof his life to preparinghis impromptuspeeches." 7 Smith annoyedthe patrons of London's AthenaeumClub, of *fri.t he was not a member,by frequenllymakinguseof their toilet facilitieson hisway to the Houseof Lords. One daya porter drewhisattentionto the fact that the clubwasfor membersonly."Ohr" said Smith,"is it a club aswell?" 8 F. E. Smith was a guest at \il7ilton House. His host, Lord Pembroke, was showing him the family portraits. He explained that wheneverone of his ancestorshad had an illegitimate child their practice had been to give it the surname Montgomery. Smith turned this over in his mind and then said, "If such an untoward event should happen to me, God forbid that I should deny my child the name of Smirh." 9 Smith teased Lord Chief Justice Gordott I Hewart about the size of his stomach, asking f him if he was expectinga boy or a girl. "If it's ai

boy,I'll callfri*1ohrr,;?r.pniaHeirrr,"andif f

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SMITH, F. E.

it's a girl I'll callher Mary. But if, asI suspect, it's only wind, I'll callit F. E. Smith." Taft mak{The USversionhasPresident ing this retort to SenatorChauncey Depew.) As, e8 British SMITH, LoganPearsall(1855-1945), writer and critic. I Logan PearsallSmith was asked shortly before his death whetherhe had found any , meaningin life. "Yes," he replied,"there it t ; meaning;at leastfor me,thereis onethiry that i' matters- to set a chimeof words tinkling m the mindsof a few fastidiouspeople." As' '4 SMITH, Sydney(177I-1845) , Britishclergyman and author.He liuedAsa youngman in Edinburgh,wherehe becamepart of a brilliant andhelped circleof politiciansandphilosophers found the EdinburghReview.His quick wit madehim a fauoriteof Londonsocietywhenhe mouedsoutb. 1 In Edinburgh Smith was out walking with a friend one day when they came across two women screaminginsults at each other from second-storywindows on opposite sidesof a narrow street. "Those two will never resolve their differences," Smith remarked to his friend. "They are speakingfrom separatepremises.t' 2 At a garheringSydneySmith met the lawyer and philosopherSirJamesMackintosh with his young Scottishcousin,an ensignin one of the Scots regiments. The young man asked Sir Jamesin an undertone whether this was "the great Sir SidneySmith," hero of the defenseof Acre against Napoleon in 1'799. Before Sir Jamescould put the young man right, Sydney Smith had embarkedon an account of the siege of Acre, completewith descriptionof gunsand attacks and counterattacks.The young ensign was entrancedby this displayof friendlinesson the part of the famousadmiral,while the rest of the party scarcelyknew how to keep a straight f ace. A few dayslater SirJamesand his cousin met SydneySmith and his wife walking in the street. Smith introduced his wife and they talked for a few minutes. As the Smiths moved otr, the

young Scot said in a low voice, "I didna think the great Sir Sidneywas married." "Why, €r, ooro' said Sir James,floundering f.or a moment before inspiration struck, "no, not exactly married- only an Egyptian slave he brought over with him. Fatima- you know - you understand." The nickname"Fatima" stuck to Mrs. Smith for a long time thereafter among her friends. 3 Vhen Francis Jeffrey was lord advocate, the polar explorerJohn Rosstried to persuade him to get the government to financean expedition to the North Pole.A man who agreedto act as intermediary called on Jeffrey at an unlucky moment, when he was just about to go out riding and did not want to be detained. Jeffrey becamemore and more impatient and eventuallyburst out, "Damn the North Pole!" The aggrieved intermediary complained to SydneySmith about Jeffrey'slanguage."Never mind," said Smith, "never mind his damning the North Pole. I have heard him speakdisrespectfully of the equator." 4 Sydney Smith becameembroiled in an ar- ! gument with a country squire who was being J fbusiue about the Churih of England. Th; f sq-uireconclua:4 by sayingthat if lt. had a sonJ who was a fool he would make him a parson.i "V.ry probably," 'of retorted Smith, "but I seei a different mind." your f"itttt *"i 5 A lady was moaning about the oppressive heat. Smith courteously agreed with her: "Heat, madam!It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones." 6 The lady seatednext to him at dinner rejected an offer of gravy."Madam," saidSydney Smith, "l have been looking for a personwho disliked gravy all my life; let us swear eternal friendship." 7 Sydney Smith was disturbed one morning at his work by self-important little man who announcedthat" he was compiling a history of the distinguishedfamilies of Somersetand was calling to identify the Smith arms. Sydney Smitlr regretted he was unable to help: "The Smiths have never had any arms' and have invariablysealedtheir letterswith their thumbs."

515

SNEAD

8 SydneySmith called on the newly appointed bishop of New Zealandro bid him farewellbeforehe setsailfor hisdiocese. Bearingin mind the repurationof thenariveinhabitants as cannibals,Smith advisedthe bishop alwaysto keep"a smokedlittle boy in the baconrack and a cold clergymanon the sideboard.As for yourselfr"he continued,"all I cansayis that whenyour new parishioners do eatyou, I sincerelyhopethat you will disagree with them." 9 S)mtritl ithI O t h e gilc:ou ha mb rbl, le< an ndfu u l (of dirtt a2I1t and crur ed titt , h rep . ( s 'Literal gers. fin ng llvYY,r for thiisr' he e j As, ,4

t"l l,::X."" /

THOMAS, Norman(1884-1958), US ist politician and reformer. I Norman Thomas campaigned regularly and unsuccessfullyfor the presidenq"-from 1928to L 948. When Franklin D*Riiosevelt was president, Thomas visited""'himin the \fhite House. In the course"'6fthe interview Roosevelt said, "Norman, I'm a damned sight better politician than you." Thomas replied, "Certainly, Mr. President;you're on that side of the deSk,and I'm on this.o' 2 (ln the 1960s Thomas's fears of thermonuclear war colored many of his speeches.)

542

THOMAS, NORMAN

"'lf you cannot learn to live with Com'then you munists,'he told his audiences, might begin to think about dying with them.' . . . 'Kennedysaidthat if we had nuclearwar we'd kill 300 million peoplein the firsthour,'hewould declarein a typicalthrust. Thentherewould bea rhetoricalpauseandthis clincher:'McNamara [secretaryof defense], and likesto save, who is a good businessman saysit would be only 200million."' 3 Thomas had many distinguishedsupporters, but lacked mass popular backing. Complimentedon the lofty characterof his campaigns,he replied, "l appreciatethe flowers; only I wish the funeral weren't so complete." 4 Lookingbackat his recordof failurein his Thomascomcampaignsfor the presidetrcy, mented,"While I'd ratherbe right thanpresident,at anytime I'm readyto be both." Seealso HENnv Crnv 5 and THoues Rnno2. As, ..6 THOMSON, Sir GeorgePaget(1,892-1975), British physicistwho usedelectrondiffraction experimentsto confirmthesugestionof Prince deBrogliethat elementaryparticleshauea wAue natureas well as a particlenature.He was the of theelecsonof I. ]. Thomson,the discot)erer tron. Sir Georgewas chairman of the Maud Committee,which aduisedthe gouernmentin 1940that a fissionbombcouldbe made. I The Maud Committee was given its name as a result of a telegram that Niels Bohr, the famous Danish physicist, managed to send to his friends in England shortly after the German occupation of Denmark. The telegramended: 'oPleaseinform Cockcroft and Maud R"y, Kent," after having assuredhis friends that he was well. The messagewas mistakenly thought to be in code and skillfully decoded to mean "make uranium d"y and night." It was later found that Maud Ray had been Bohr's English governess. As, 48

THOMSON, Joseph(1858-94),British explorer.An expertin geologyand naturalbistory, hemadeimDortantcontributionsto our knowledgeof Africa.

1 In 1878Thomsonmadehisfirstiourneyto Africa asgeologistand naturalhistorianin an expeditionled by AlexanderKeith Johnston. Barelysix weeks after departtng Zanzibarfor the interior,Johnstondied,leavingthe twentyone-year-oldThomsonleaderof the expedition. He carried on to the great lakes and brought the expeditionto an almost entirely conclusion.On his return to Lonsuccessful don he wrote the book To Africnn l^akesand Back, and becamea celebrity.J. M. Barrie askedThomsonwhat wasthe most dangerous part of his travels. "Crossing Piccadilly Circus,"saidThomson. As' -.6 THOMSON, Robert(1923- ) US baseball player,born in Scotland. I No team in the history of American baseball hascome from asfar behind to win a league pennant as did the National League's New 5"1,.In mid-August they York Giants in "1,9 trailed the Brooklyn Dodgers by I3t games, but in the last sevenweeksof the seasonmoved up to tie for the top spot, forcing a best-ofthree play-off. After each team had won one game, the Giants, in the final game, with the score4 to L againstthem, went into the last half of the last inning, scored a run, picked up one out, and had two men on base.Dodgerspitcher Ralph Branca entered the fray to try to get the other two outs his team needed.Then Bobby Thomson cameto bat and hit a three-runhome run to win the game 5 to 4 and the league pennant for the Giants. Pandemonium broke out in New York's Polo Ground, and this became one of the best-rememberedmoments in American baseballhistory. Looking back on his career,Thomson said, "l played fourteen or fifteen years in the maiors. I got more than 11,700 hits and more than 100 home runs. But I'd be forgotten except for that one." (Curiously, Ralph Branca expressed a similar sentiment about that same moment: "l pitched nine or ten yearsin the big leagues.I threw thousandsof pitches. And no one has ever let me forget that one.") Ar'.B 1: J. Braude, Speaker'sand Toastmaster's Handbook Apnr 1: '47, The Magazineof the Year, I AonNeuER1t J. Gunther,Procession;3: K. Edwards, More Things I Wish I'd Said Aprrn L: J. Braude, Braude's Second Encyclopedia

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BnrrHovEN (continued) Beethouen; 2: A. Hopkins, MusicAtl Around M9;3, 5: S. Sadie,New Groue'sDictionary of Music and Musicians;4: F. Bon avia,ed., Musicianson Music BrcrN 1: I. $Tallaceet al.,Book of Lists2 BpHeN 1,: R. Jeffs, Brendan Behan, Man and Showman;2: B. Behan,My Life with Brendan; 3: G. Brandrerh, Great Theatrical Disasters BELL,A., 1: John J. Carry, The SmithsonianReport for L922, in Kenin and lTintle, DBe, 'Vfallace 2: I. er al., Intimate Sex Liues of FamousPeople 'Wallace, Bntt, J., 1-2: I. The FabulousOriginals Bnrroc L: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life; 2: L. Missen, After-dinner Stories and Anecdotes; 3: New York Times Book Reuiew, Aug.2, 1982; 4: A. Wilson, Hilaire Belloc Brrrows 1: EugeneSpeicher,A PersonalReminiscence, in Kenin and \il7intle,DBQ BnruoNr 1: D. Black,King of Fifth Auenue Bnuno L: S. Radecki,DasABC desLachens Bnxcnrnv L, 15: N. Benchley,Robert Benchley; 2: N. Rees,Quote . . . Unquote;3:E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;4: SaturdoyEuening Post, Sept. 23, 1,955;6: H. Teichmann,Smart Aleck; 7: B. Cerf, Try and Stop Me; 8: K. Tynan, Shou People;9: H. Thurber and E. S7eeks,eds.,SelectedLetters of JamesThurber; 10: D. Herrmann, With Malice Toutard 'l,l-13: All; R. Drennan, The Algonquin Wits; 14: R. Drennan,Wit's End BnhlNrrr,A., 1: B. Cerf, ShakeWellBeforeUsing; 2: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life; 3 t J. McAleer,"GlobeMan's Daily Story,"Boston Globe, A,rg. 31, 1,966; 4: E. Goossens, Ouerture and Beginners BnNrsrrrrJ.,I: B. Morton, Americansin Paris;2: P. Brendon,The Lif, and Death of the Press Barons;3-5: D. Frostand M. Deakin,Dauid Frost'sBook of Millionaires BrNNy4: l. Fein,tack Benny;6: M. L. Bennyand H. Marks, ]ack Benny BnNroNL: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes;2:Harper's Magazine,in R. Shenkman,and K. Reiger, One-Night Standswith American History Bnnn 1t J. Gunther,Inside RussiaToday BnnNeoorrEL: S.Radecki,DasABC desLachens BnnNeno1: M. PedrazziniandJ. Gris, Autant en apportentles mots; 2-7, 9-12, '1,4:C. Skinner, ElegantWits and Grand Horizontals;8: E. Kelen,Peacein Their Time; 15: F. Jacob, The Possibleand the Actual BnnNrns 1-3: E. Sitwell, Taken Ca:reOft 4: E. Salter,HelpmAnn BnnNHARDT l-2, 4,7: A. May, Different Drummers; 3: Oxford Dictionary of Quotations; 5: L. andM. Cowan,TheVit of Women;6:

604 W. Abbot, Notable Womenin History;8, J. Ayel Humour in the Theatre;9: P. Mahony, Barbed'Wit and MaliciousHumor; 10, 14L5: C. Skinner, Elegant'Witsand GrandHorizontals; Lt: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;lZ: L. Missen,QuotableAnecdotes;13: p. Horgso, Encounters with Strauintky; l,G: J. Braude, Speaker's and Toastmastei's Handbook BnnNouLLr1: E. Bell, Men of Mathematics BrnusrErN,H., L: B. Cerf, The Life of the party BEnNsrErN, L., l: H. Temianka,Facingthe Music BBnNsrErN, R., L: P. Schwed, Turning the pages Bnnne4: L. Rosten,PeopleI HaueLoued,Known 'W. or Admired; 5: Erpy, An Almanac of 'Words at Play; 6: R. Crouser, It's [Jnlucky to Be Behindat the End of the Game Brrrv "L:Anne Matthews,Anecdotesof Action, in F. Muir, IrreuerentSocialHistory BEUNo1: '48, The Magazineof the Year, vol. 2, no. 4 BnveNL: K. Edwards,/ Wish I'd Said That Too; 2: M. Foot, Aneurin Beuan 'Words BnvtN2: rU(I. Erpy, Another AlmanAcof at Play; 3: K. Edwards,I Wish I'd Said That Too; 4: E. Clark, Diplomat Brrncx 1,:B. Conrad,FamousLast Words 'V7. 'W'aldoks, Bnrtx L: Novak and M. Big Book of Jewish Humor BtNc 1-8, 10: Sir R. Bing, 5000 Nights at the Opera;9: Sir R. Bing,A Knightat tbe Opera BtoN 1.:E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes Btsuencx '/-.,8: E. Crankshaw,Bismarck;2: C. Shriner, Wit, Wisdom, and Foibles of the Great;3: S7.Scholz,DasBuch desLachens; 4: H. Ziegler,HeitereMuse;5: C. Craig, The Germans;6-7: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz; 9: Harper's Magazine, November 18 9 8 Brncr L: R. Marquard,Jokesand Anecdotes BrecxwELL1":A. Powell, London Walks Btern, E., 1-2: The Times (London),Feb. 15, 1983 Btexr, W., L: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life; 2-3: J. Timbs, EnglishEccentrics BreNo-SurroN 1t J. Bland-Surton,The Storyof a Surgeon BrncH 1: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz BrnssINGroN1: D. Duff, Eugdnieand Napoleon ilI Bruun 1r J.Vintle and E. Fisher,ThePiedPipers BTUUnNTHAL L: H. Hoffmeister, Anekdotenschatz Boes 1r J. Howar d, Margaret Mead Bocennr L: D. Bogarde, Snakes 6 Ladders; 2: D. Bogarde, An Orderly Man Bocenr L: V. Thompson , Bogie and Me Borrpeu L: R. HendricksonrThe Literary Life;2: 'S7. and A. Durant, The Story of Ciuilization,

505 VIil; 34: V. Cronin, Louis IIV Intimate SexLiuesof BornvN L: I. Wallaceet al.,'W. Abbot, Notable Famous People; 2: Women in History BouNcBRoKE1: DNB Borr I-22 Los AngelesTimes, Mar. 13, 1982 BoNrqnnL: G. Taylor, Tbe Great Euolution Mystery BooNn L: Book-of-the-MonthClub Netas, October 1972 BoorH, J. V., 1: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, Treasury The American'W. 'Winter, Other Days;2: E. BoorH, J. B., lr 4z Fuller, 2500Anecdotes;3: G. Vidal, Lincoln Boncr 1: P. Bussard , Tbe New CatholicTreasury of Vit and Humor Boncss 1: R. Alifano,Twenty-four Conuersations with Borges Marmont, Memoirs,in C. Boncnnsr L: Marshal 'Wisdom, and Foibles of the Shriner, Wit, Great BonootN L: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz BonnoMEo 1: P. Bussard, The New Catholic Treasuryof Wit and Humor Bosqunr L: C. Woodham-Smith,The Reason

whv 'S7. Keddie,Literary and ScientificAnBossunr L: ecdote; 2: J. Larwood, Anecdotes of the Clergy Bosvnrr L: EB; 2: H. Pearson,lohnson and Boswell BorncELLI L: G. Vasari, Liues of the Painters BorroMLEy L: A. Sylvester,Lift with Lloyd George;2z A. J. P. Taylor, English History 1914-1945,in Kenin and rUfintle,DBQ BouHouRS1: B. Conrad,FamousLast Words BoureNGER,G., L: I. Wallace,The Nympho 6 Other Maniacs BouleNGER,N., 1: A. Kendall, The Tender Tyrant the WindWill Listen Bourr 1: A. Boyle,Only'Whateuer Is Mouing BovnN, E., 1: H. Moss, Bowrx, L., 1: M. Cable,Top Drauter Bowrn s l-2: S. C. Hall, A Book of Memories,rn D. GeorBe,A Book of Anecdotes Bowne 1: Oxfzn, Passthe Port BneoroRD 1r J. Bartlett, Familiar Quotations Bneomv 1: Robert Bridges, Tbree Friends.,in J. Sutherland,€d., OBLA Bneov 1: B. Cerf, Bumper Crop of Anecdotes Bnenus lr 3-4: P. Latham, Brahms;5: A. Rubinstein,My Young Years;5-7, 9: N. Slonimsky,A Thing or Two about Music;8: P. M6ras, Tbe Mermaidsof ChenonceAux;11: J. Braude,Braude'sSecondEncyclopedia BnerrHwAITEL: G. Brandreth, Great Theatrical Disasters;2: A. Faulknerand T. Hartman, All the Best People BnaTHAGE1: G. Davenport, The Geographyof

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the lmagination BneNcustLz Compton'sEncyclopedia Bneeur,L: R. Penrose,RonaldPenroseScrapbook BnssHrovsKAYeL: J. and D. L. Thomas,Liuing Biographiesof Famous'Women Bnnrqo !-2: E. Kelen,PeAcein Their Time Bntpcnn 1-2: AmericanScholar,YllI (1938-39) Bruocns !-2: AmericanScholar,I (1932) Brucur L: L. Missen, Quotable Anecdotes BnIrue,r-SeveRIN1": D. \Tallechinsky and I. Wallace,The PeoPle'sAlmanac Bnoptn, Srn 8., 1: L. Cliffe, Anecdotal Reminiscences Bnootn, S., L: D. \Tallechinskyand I. \7allace, The People'sAlmanac Bnooln, W., L: "Daily Mirror" OId Codger's Little Black Book 4 BnoNrE,C., 1: A. Harrisonand D. Stanford,Anne Brontii; 2: D. Frost, Book of the World's Worst Decisions BnooTFIELD1r J. Ay., Humour in the Theatre Bnoors, M., 1, 3: K. Tynan, Show PeoPle Bnoors, P., L: J. Braude,Speaker'sand Toastmaster'sHandbook BnoucHAML: N. McPhee,The Book of Insults; 2: S.Smith,Memoir of the Reu.SydneySmith by His Daughter; 3: K. Arvine, Cyclopaedia of Anecdotes;4z H. Pearson,The Smith of Smiths BnourqL: G. Brandreth,Great Theatrical Disasters;2zH. Broun,WhoseLittle BoyAre You? BnowN, J., 1: The New Yorker, Oct. 18, 1952; 2t C. Canfield,Up and Doutn and Around I Wish I'd Said That! BnowNBL: A. Linkletter, 'S7inwar, The Immortal BnovNING, 8., L: F. Louers R., 1: B. Cerf, Laughing Stock;2: G. BnownING, 'W. in E. Russell, Collections, 'S7inwar, J. Sutherland, The Immortal €d., OBLA; 3: F. Louers Bnucr L: John Pinkerton, Walpoliana, in Kenin and \ililintle,DBQ BnuuuELL 1-5: J. Timbs, Centuryof Anecdote; 5: D. George,A Book of Anecdotes;8: E. Sitwell, English Eccentrics BnuNo Iz EB BnvaN 1: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;2: I. Stone, Tbey Also Ran; 3: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury BucseNAN L: Augustus C. Buell, History of Andreu., tackson,inP. Boller,ed.,Presidential Anecdotes;2z C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury BucHwaro L: J. Parroft,"Newsmakers ," LosAngelesTimes,Apt. 5, 1982 BucruncHAML: C. Roberts,And So To Bath BucxreNn L: J. Morris, The Oxford Book of Ox'W. Keddie, Literary and Scientific ford; 2z Anecdote

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BucruBy 1: Los AngelesTime.s,Apr. l!, I98Z Buopue L: R. Tung, A Portrait of Lost Tibet; Z: 'Sil. Durant, The Storyof Ciuilization, I Buof 1: C. Fadiman,Any Number Can play BurrerMAcco 1: G. vasari, Liuesof the painters Burr 1: P. Phillips, A Brief Chronicale; 2: Anthony i \7o od,FastiOxonienses,in Kenin and I7intle, DBQ 'Weintraub, Burrnn L: S. The London yankees BUrow 1: H. Schonberg,The Great pianists;Z3: N. Slonimsky,A Thing or Two about Music; 4: H. Schonberg,The Great Conductors BuNsrN L: J. Read,Humour and Humanism in Chemistry Bunxr 1: KatherineC. Balderston,ed.,Thraliana, in J. Sutherland,ed., OBLA; Z-3: J. Timbs, 'V7. Centuryof Anecdote;4: Keddie, Literary 'S7. and ScieniificAnecdote;5: Adams, irri,isury of Modern Anecdote BunNs 1: S. Allen, Funny People;2: G. Burns, Third Time Around BunroN, Sln R., 1: M. Hastings,Richard Burton; 'Wilder 2: L. Blanch,The Shoresof Loue Busny l-2: E. Fuller, 2500Anecdotes BuscH L: R. Bing, 5000 Nightsat the Opera Burrrn, B. F., L: D. $Tallechinsky and I. Wallace, The People's Almanac; 2: Herbert 'W. Beecher,History of the First Light Battery ConnecticutVolunteers1861-1gGS , in B. .War Botkin, A Ciuil Treasury BurrBn, H. M., L: A. Milne, It's Too Late Now Burrnn, R. A., L: N. Rees,Quote . . . (Jnquote Burrnn, S., L: H. FestingJones,SamuelButler:A Memoir, in J. Sutherland,€d., OBLA; 2: Ma{ MacCarthy, A Nineteenth-Century Childhood,in Sutherland,OBLA; 3-5, G. Keynes, SamuelButler's No/ ebooks 'S7alpole, ByNc 1: Horace Memoirs,in Kenin and Sfintle, DBQ Bvno 1: A. Hatch, Tbe Byrdsof Virginia 'S7. BynoN L: Keddie, Literary and ScientificAnecdote;2: S. Rogers,Table Talk; 3-4: K. Arvine, Cyclopaediaof Anecdotes;5: Albdzzi, I Ritratto, in D. Reiman,ed., Shelley and his Circle Cennrr L: B. Cerf, The Life of the Party Cepnunv 1: I. and R. Poley,FriendlyAnecdotes Cenhl1.:B. Conrad, Fun Wbile It Lasted Cersen,Juuus, L-3 , 5-5,9-10: Suetonius, The TwelueCaesarsi41 7-8: Plutarch,Liues 'S7. CacrtosrRo L: Scholz,Das Buch desLacbens Cecxnv 1.:Parade,Aug. 5, 1984 Cente t: Book-of-the-MonthClub News, 1947 CerHnnu L: New York TimesBook Reuiew,J.rly "1,2, l98I Cerrcura 'S7.1, 3: Suetonius,The Twelue Caesars; 2: Durant, The Story of Ciuilization,III

605 Cerrns 1: R. Bing, 5A00Nightsat the Opera CervpnlEy L: L. Missen, Afier-dinnerStoriesand Anecdotes;2, I. Morris , The Oxford Book of Oxford CelvrenrDcE L: H. and D. L. Thomas, Liuing Biographiesof Famous'Women 'VTallechinsky CenasnoNNn 1: D. and I. Wallace The People'sAlmanac 'W. Ceunysns II L: Duranr, The Storyof Ciuilization, I CauEnoN, J., 1: R. Martin, Tennyson: The Unquiet Heart CeuEnoNoF LocHlsr l: T. Mason, The Best Storiesin the World CeupnELL,D., l: "Daily Mirror" Old Codger's Little Black Book 4 CeMpsELL,MRs. P., l: Gabriel Fallon, Sean O'Casey,The Man I Knew, itt J. Sutherland, €d., OBLA; 2: G. Kanin, Hollywood;3: L. Missen, Quotable Anecdotes;5, 8-9: M. Peters,Mrs. Pat; 5: C. Tomkins,LiuingWell Is the Best Reuenge;7: J. Braude,Speaker's and Toastmaster'sHandbook CeMpsELL, T., 1: G. Trevelyan,TheLife and Let'W. tersof Lord Macauloyt2-3: Keddie,Literary and ScientificAnecdote CeNr L: C. Speroni,Wit and Wisdom of the ltalian Renaissance CeNNtNc1: J. Timbs, Centuryof Anecdote;2: C. Sifakis,Dictionary of Historic NicknAmes CnNNoN L: M. Schlesinger,Snatched from Obliuion CaNron 1: P. Mahotry,BarbedWitand Malicious Humor;2: N. Rees,Quote . . . Unquote CeNurn L: Henry of Huntingdon, Historia Anglorum Cepe "1.:'47, The Magazineof the Year(October) Cepoxn,1: J. Kobler, Capone Cnpus L: C. Skinner,Elegant'Witsand Grand Horizontals CnnoaNo L: I. Asimov, Biographical Encyclopedia Cenoozo l: R. Marquard,Jokesand Anecdotes CenrrroN L: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes Cenros I L: H. Prochnow,The Public Speaker's TreasureChest Cenrvrr 2: Sir Thomas Henry Hall Caine, My Story,in J. Sutherland,€d., OBLA; 3: Sir Mountstuart ElphinstoneGrant Duff, Nofes From a Diary, in Sutherland,OBLA; 4: N. Rees,Quote . . . Unquote;5: AugustusJ. C. Hare, The Story of My Lift Cennrctr L: G. Fowler, Beau lames; 2z E. \Ufagenknecht, AmericanProfile;3: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;4: Book-of-the-MonthClub Neus, December1952 Cenor II 1r J. Braude,Speaker'sand Toastmaster's Handbook CenouNE, DucHnssEDE BnRnl,L: A. Castelot,

607 CnnouNE oF ANsnecu 1r J. Timbs, Centuryof Paris: The Turbulent City Anecdote;2:Hervey,Memoirsof Georgethe Second,in Oxford Dictionary of Quotations CanouNEoF BnuNswtcr L: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes;2z M. Ringo,Nobody SaidIt Better; 3: A. Bryant, The Age of Elegance;4z The Journalof Hon. Henry Edward 'S7intleFox, 25 August 1,82L,in Kenin and , DBQ Cenor o l-2: G. Vasari: Liues of the Painters CannoLL,L., 1: L. Missen, QuotableAnecdotes; 2z R. Green,Diaries of Lewis Carroll CensoN 1-2: K. Tynan, Show People Cenrrn L: Bill Adler, €d., Wit and Wisdom of Jimmy Carter, in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes;2: J. Carter, Keeping Faith; 3: "He Can CatchFirer" Time,Jan.5, 1981,in Boller, PresidentialAnecdotes;4: R. Byrne, The 637 Best ThingsAnybody Euer Said CenrueNo 1: J. Cooper, Class and I. \7all ace,The Cenuso tz D. tUfallechinsky People'sAlmanac;2: H. Greenfield,Caruso; 3: H. Broun, WhoseLittle Boy Are You?;4: E. Van de Velde,AnecdotesMusicales Cesers L: A. \7hitman, Come to tudgment; 23: M. Eastman,Great Companions;4z Y. Karsh, Karsh of a Picture Cesserr L: A. Vollard, Recollections Dealer CesrrcLIoNE 1: I. lWallaceet al., Intimate Sex Liues of FamousPeople CesrrnRossE1: P. Ziegler,Diana Cooper CesrnecANlL: Ludovico Domenichiin C. Sprroni, Wit and Wisdom of the ltalian Renaissance Cesrno l-2: C. Franqui, Family Portrait with Fidel 'W. Abbot, Notable CerHnRrNEoF AnecoN L: Women in History 'W. Abbot, Notable Women in CerHnnrNr II L: History Cero L: Oxford Companion to ClassicalLiterature;2, I. Braude,Speaker's and Toastmaster's Handbook; 3: F. Callidres,Des Bons Mots et des bons contes Cevnn l: The Times (London),Oct. 23, 1915, in Oxford Dictionary of Quotations CEctr 1r J. Train, True RemarkableOccurrences CrnveNrrs 1: Compton'sEncyclopedia CrrswAyo 1r J. Smail,With Sbieldand Assegai CfzeNNr 1: Compton'sEncyclopedia CHerteprN1-2: S.Beach,Musicdotes;3: R. Merrill, BetweenActs CHeroNBn1: The New Yorker,Nov. 25, 1955 CHeunERLAIN, A. N., 1: Oxford Dictionary of Quotations CueunERLAIN r I., l: T. Masson,The BestStories in the World Stn J. A., 1: FrancesStevenson CHnUnERLAIN,

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diary, Mar. 5, 1919, in Kenin and \U7intle, DBQ CHeNInrl-2 C. Baill6n, Chanel Solitaire;3: F. Steegmuller,Cocteau CuINNTNG1: B. Adler, My FauoriteFunny Story CHeprtN 1.: C. Seelig,Albert Einstein; 2: L. Lucaire, CelebrityTriuia; 3: D. Niven, Bring on the Empty Horses; 4z E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes CHepuan,JoHN, 1: RobertPrice,lohnny Appleseed,Man and Myth, in B. Botkin, Treasury of American Anecdotes;2: P. Smith, The Nation Comesof Age CHlnnaeN,JoHN Jev, L: C. Canfield, Up and Doun and Around CHInTEMAGNEL: Draper and Esquin sales brochure CHnHmsII 1: T. Blount,Boscobel;2, J. Aubrey, Miscellanies;3: Gilbert Burnet, History of My Own Time, in Kenin and Wintle, DBQ; 4z JamesGranger, Biographical History of England, in Kenin and ttrflintle , DBQ1 5: I. and R. Poley,FriendlyAnecdotes;5:\U7illiam King, Anecdotes,in D. George, A Book of Anecdotes; 7: Jonathan Richardson, Richardsoniana, inJ. Sutherland, €d.,OBLA; 8t J. Bartlett,FamiliarQuotations;9:Gilbert Burnet,Historyof My Own Time,in B. Conrad, Famous Last Words 'W. Durant, The Story of CiuiliCHenrns V L: zation, V; 2: H. Prochnow, The Public Speaker'sTreasure 'W. Chest Adams,Treasuryof Modern CHenrnsX l-2: Anecdote CHenrrs FneNcrs JosrnH L: H. Hoffmeister, Anekdotenschatz CsenrorrE oF MpcTIENBURG-Srngurz"1,:J. Timbs, Century 'W. of Anecdote CHenoNDAsL: Durant, TIte Storyof Ciuilization, ll CHAsE,I., 1: E. Fuller,2500Anecdotes CHRsn,S.,1: B. Cerf:BumPerCrop of Anecdotes l: M. Ringo, Nobody Said It CHITnAUBRIAND Better;22C.'W. Brinton,TheLiuesof Talleyrand CHaTTERToN 1,: Keddie, Literary and Scientific Anecdote CsrxHov lz V. Pritchett, The Myth Makers; 2: A. Chekhov,The Imageof Cbekhou CHnnuBINI1: W. Gates,Anecdotesof GreatMusicians;2: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatzj 3, J. Papesch, Europa LricheltNoch Immer; 4: H. Sievers,Musica Curiosa lr 5: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes; CHnsTnRFIELD 2: W. and A. Durant, The Storyof Ciuilization, IX; 3: J. Timbs, Centuryof Anecdote; 4: DNB; 6: B. Conrad,FamousLast Vords CHnsruRroN1,7-8: A. Dale:TheOutlineof Sanity;2-3,12: G. Chesterton, CharlesDickens (foreword);4: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdoten-

508

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6L7 HereE L: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz Valentine'sDays 1":V. Castlerosse, HnrpeNE,R., 'V7allace and D. Wallechinsky,The Hem L: I. Book of Lists2 Herev L: H. Rosenb€rg,Calendar, Los Angeles Times, July 7, 1984 HerrreX, C., 1: tU7.and A. Durant, The Storyof Ciuilization, VIII HerrneX, E., 1: Book-of-the-MontbClub News, 1954 January '\tr(/. Herr L: Walsh, Handy Book of Curious Information Hnrsrv L: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury HeutrroN L: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren,The American Treasury HeuuERsrErN,II, 1: H. Fordin,Gettingto Know Him HeunaETT 1-3: D. Johnson, Dashiell Hammett; 4: L. Hellman, An Unfinished'Woman HeusuN L: H. Hoffmeister, Anekdotenscbatz HeNonr L: E. Jones,A Food Louer's Companion; 2-4: H. C. Robbins Landon: Handel and His World HaNNTBAL1: Livy, Annals, 39.5t Henoy L: New York Reuiew of Books, Oct. 7, 1982 HennruaN L: Tbe New Yorker, M"y 10, 1952; 2: The New Yorker, May 3, 1952 Hennts, F., 1: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes; 2: D. Cecil, Max: A Biography Henrus, G., 1": J. Braude, Braude's Second Encyclopedia Hennls ,J.,l: M. Gottfried, Jed Harris: The Curse of Genius; 2t J. Humes, Speakers' Treasury HenrusoN, BrNlenaru, L: D. Wallechinsky and I. Iil(allace, The People's Almanac HenrusoN, PnesrpENT BrN;eurN, 1: Henry L. Stoddard, As I Knew Them: Presidents and Politics from Grant to Coolidge, in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes 'sfallace, HennrsoN, G., 1: D. rUfallechinskyand I. The People's Almanac Henr 1: O. Levant, The Unimportance of Being Oscar '1,:'W. Henrn Scholz, Das Buch des Lachens; 2: H. Prochnow, Tbe Public Speaker's TreAsure Chest HentrEBEN L: H. Hoffmeister, Anekdotenschatz HanTNELL L: R. Morley, Book of Bricks Herro 1: W. IUTalsh,Handy Book of Curious Information HevruEyER L: J. Braude, Speaker's and Toastmaster's Handbook Hewrney l: G. Brandreth, Great Theatrical Disasters Hey L: Quarterly Reuiew, no. 2L8, 1861, in D. George, A Book of Anecdotes Heyaxewe L : Los Angeles Times, Ocr. 23, t98l; 2: Clifton Fadiman

SO U R C E L I S T

HevoN L: Quarterly Reuiew,no. 218, L861, in D. George,A Book of Anecdotes;2: V. and A. Durant, The Story of Ciuilization, X; 3: N. Slonimsky,A Thing or Tuo about Music Hevrs, H., L: B. Cerf, Try and StopMe; 2: B. Thomas, Thalberg: Life and Legend HAvns,R., 1: GeorgeF. Hoar, Autobiographyof SeuentyYeArs,in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes HevwoRrH 1: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury Hezurr L: E. Fuller,2500Anecdotes;2:\il7.Keddie, Literary and ScientificAnecdote Hrensr 1: Kenin and \J7intle , DBQ; 2: P. Kael, The Citizen Kane Book; 3: R. Marquard, Jokes and Anecdotes; 4z J. Tebbel, The Inheritors; 5: C. Aslet, The Last Country Houses HncHr 1":The New Yorker,Dec. L3, L952 Hncrr L: B. Conrad,FamousLast'Words HnccrN L: R. Nelson, TheAlmanacof American Letters HuorccER 1: F. Muir, IrreuerentSocialHistory HEtrnrz L: O. Levant, The Unimportanceof Being Oscar; 2, 4z H. Temianka,Facingthe Music; 3: LosAngelesTimes,Aug. 29r'1,982 HEINn 1.: M. Pedrazziniand J.'V(/allechinsky Gris, Autant en les mots; 2: D. apportent and 'S7alla I. ce,The People'sAlmanac;3: B. Conrad, FamousLast Words; 4: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes HnTTUEsBERGER L: M. Jelusisch, Geschichten aus dem Wienerwald HnrpnrN L: Clifton Fadiman HpurrtcwAy 1: P. M6ras,Tbe Mermaidsof Chenonceaux;2: B. Morton, AmericAnsin Paris; 3: B. Cerf,Try andStopMe;4,9: C. Fadiman and C. Van Doren, Tbe American Treasury; 5: Signatttre,SeptemberL983;72 A. Hotchner, ChoicePeople;8: Y. Karsh, Karsh HnNruIV 1,5:'S7. and A. Durant, The Storyof Ciuilization,VII; 2: EB;3: E. Gu6rard,DictionnaireEncyclopddique;4: K. Arvine, Cyclopaedia of Anecdotes; 6: W. Keddie, Literary and ScientificAnecdote HnNny II 1: DNB HsNny IV 1: DNB HENnyVIII 1.:L. Copeland,10,000Jokes,Toasts, and Stoiies;2z "Daily Mirror" Old Codger's Little Black Book 1 HnNIny,C., 1, J. Humes, Speakers'Treasury HnNny, O., L: O. Henry, The Voiceof the City HrNsoN L: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life HEpsunN1,:Parade,Nov. 27, 1983 HnnnBnrL: A. Herbert,A.P.H. Hnnrono 2: B. Cerf, Try and Stop Me; 3: J. Braude,Speaker'sand ToastmAster's Handbook; 4-5: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;6: Book-of-the-Month Club News, February 1946

SO U R C E L I S T

HnnscuEr L: DNB Hnss 1: H. Temianka,Facingthe Music 'W. HronyosHr 1.: Durant, The Story of Ciuilization, I Htrnnnr l-2: GeorgeP6lya,"SomeMathematiciansI Have Known," in D. CampbellandJ. Higgins, eds., Mathematics: People, Problems, Results Httt, J., 1: A. de Morgan, Encyclopediaof Eccentrics 'S7. Httt, R., l-2: Adams, Treasuryof Modern Anecdote Htrreny 1: E. Hillary, High Aduenture HrNonMrTHL: R. Smullyan, 5000B.C. and Other Philosophi cal Fantasies HtrcHcocK 1: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;6-7: C. MadiganandA. Elwood,Brainstormsand Thunderbolts,'8: D. Spoto,Tbe Dark Sideof Genius Hoen 1: Clifton Fadiman Honss 1r J. Arlott, Cricket: The Great Ones HonsoN, L., 1,:L. Hobson,Laura Z. HonsoN,T., 1: DNB HocxtNc L: M. Schlesing€r,Snatched from Obliuion HorruANN L: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz HorueNN L: O. Levant, The Unimportanceof Being Oscar;2: H. Taubman,Music on my Beat; 3: H. Temianka,Facingthe Music HocenrH L: G. Colman, Circle of Anecdote Hoxuset L: B. Conrad,FamousLast Words 'W. \Ufalsh, HorreNo 1: Handy Book of Curious Information Horrrs L: A. Traser,Cromwell Horrtpev l: G. Steinem,OutrageousActsand EuerydayRebellions Hornans, F., 1-3: C. Bowen, Yankee from Olympus Houuns, J., 14: C. Bowen, Yankee from Olympus Hotuns, O., SR.,t-2r 8: M. Howe, Holmesof the BreakfastTable; 3: L. and F. Copeland, 70,000 Jokes, Toasts, and Stories,'5: R. Shenkman,One-NightStandswith American History; 6: C. Bowen, Yankeefrom OlymPus;7: C. Ticknor, Dr. Holmes'sBoston Hotuns, O., JR., 1-5, 7-8: C. Bowen, Yankee from Olympus; 6: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasur!; 9: Chicago Aug. 8, 1982 Sun-Tirnes, 'VV'., L: R. Morl.y, Book of Bricks Hour, '47, The Magazineof the Year,August Honnnnl: Hoor 1: DNB ; 2z L. Russell , EnglishWits; 3: K. AdArvine, Cyclopaediaof Anecdotes;4:tU(I. ams, Treasuryof Modern Anecdote; 5: D. Knox, More QuotableAnecdotes Hooxnn 1.:John Bigelow,Jr., SidneyV. Louell in the Campaignat Cbancellorsuille,in B. Botkin, A Ciuil War Treasury HoovnR 1.:Arthur Krock, Memoirs, in P. Boller,

518 ed.,Presidential Anecdotes;2:EugeneLyons, Herbert Hoouer: A Biography, in Boller, PresidentialAnecdotes;3: I. and R. Poley, FriendlyAnecdotes;4: I. \Tallaceer al., Book of Lists2; 5: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury HonNr L: S. Terkel, "The Good WAr" Honowrrz lr 3: O. Levant, The Unimportance of Being Oscar; 2: J. Gaines, Liues of the Piano HonrHy DE NecynANye L: E. Kelen, Peacein Their Time HouptNl L: F. Oursler,BeholdThis Dreamer;2: H. Prochnow,Tbe Public Speaker'sTreAsure Chest HousnaeN1: G. K. Chesterton,Autobiography, in J. Sutherland, ed.,OBLA; 2: H. Maas,€d., The Lettersof A. E. Housman;3: R. Graves, A. E. Housman HoweRn, C., L: I. \il7allaceet al., Intimate Sex Liues of FamousPeople HownnD,L., 1: L. andF. Copeland,1"0,000 Jokes, Toasts,and Stories Hownnrn L: S. Rogers,Table Talk Howr, E., 1: J. Braude,Speaker's and Toastmaster's Handbook 'V7. Hown, J., l-2: Abbot, Notable Women in History Hownns 1: M. Howe,John]ay Cbapman;2-3: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes Hnusxe L: CongressionalQuarterly, vol. 3 Hucsrs L: L. Harris, The Fine Art of Political Wit Huco 'Sfalla 1: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life; 2: I. cerlntimate SexLiuesof FamousPeople; 3: E. Samuels,Tbe Educationof Henry Adams; 4: R. Godden, Hans Christian Andersen; 5: G. Lieberman, The Greatest Laughs of All Time Hurr 1, J. Braude, Braude'sSecondEncyclopedia HuunoLDT "1.: J. Train, True Remarkable Occurrences Huun L: E. Gu6rard, Dictionnaire Encyclop4'W. dique; 2: E. Fuller, 250A Anecdotes;3: Keddie,Literary and ScientificAnecdote;4: 'S7. and A. Durant, The Story of Ciuilization, IX; 5: H. Broughoffi,Men of Letters Huuns 1t J. Humes, Speakers'Treasury HuupsREy L: C. Solberg,Hubert Humpbrey HuNrnn 1: New Scientisf,Nov. 9, l98L HusroN 1: D. Niv en,Bring on the Empty Horses HurcHtNs 1,3: M. Adler, Philosopherat Large; 4: J. Braude, Speaker'sand Toastmlster's Handbook Huxmy, A., l-2,5: D. Vallechinskyand I.'V7allace,ThePeople'sAlmanac2; 3-4: R. Clark, The Huxleys Huxrsv, Stn J., l-2: R. Clark, The Huxleys Huxrny, T., 1: R. Moore, CharlesDarwin; 2z E. Fuller, 2500Anecdotes

619 HuvsnrANs L: S. Radeckr, DAs ABC des Lachens Hynr, Leov C., L: L. and M. Cowan, The Wit 'Women of 'V(/'., L: E. Lucas, A Fronded Isle Hvoe, Hvnn-'STHIrE L: The Times (London), May L2, 19 8 3 HvreN L: C. Sifakis, Dictionary of Historic Nicknames Hynrr L: M. Jelusisch, Geschichten aus dem Wienerwald

IsN Seun l-2: R. Lacey,The Kingdom InneHru PnsHeL: R. Lacey,The Kingdom IssnN 1: Clifton Fadiman, Introduction to E. Wharton,EthanFrome;3: J. TrainrTrue RemarkableOccurrences Ixxu L: R. Hendrickson,The Literary Life Times INcHnnro L: FrederickReynolds,Life and'\ilfintle, of FrederickReynolds.,in Kenin and DBQ INcr 1: Alfred Noyes, Tuto Worlds for Memory INcnnsoLL1,:L. Copeland,10,000Jokes,Toasts, and Stories INcvo 1t J. Kidder,AncientJapan IpHtcnerrs 1: L. Missen, QuotableAnecdotes InvtNc 1: EdwardHeron-Allen,WeSawHim Act, in Keninand Wintle, DBQ Isesry 1r J. Timbs, Centuryof Anecdote JecrsoN, A., L-2, 6: JamesParton,Lif, of Andreu Jackson,in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes;4: Leland Baldwin, The Stream of American History, in Boller, Presidential Anecdotes;5: BenjaminPoore,Perley'sReminiscences of Sixty Years,in Boller, Presidential Anecdotes;7: A. C. Buell, History of 'Wit,'Wisdom, AndrewJackson,in C. Shriner, and Foiblesof 'S7allechinsky the Great 'Wall and I. ace) JecxsoN,J., L: D. The People'sAlmanac 2 JecrsoN, T., 1.:M. Ringo,Nobody SaidIt Better; 2: MargaretJ. Preston,"PersonalReminiscencesof StonewallJackson,," CenturyMagazine,XXXI (October1885),in B. Botkin, A Ciuil War Treasur!; 3: Robert Stiles,Four YearsUnder Marse Robert, in B. Botkin, A Ciuil War Treasury; 4-5: Charles Minor Blackford, ed., Letiers from Lee's Army, in B. Botkin, A Ciuil War Treasury;5: Mai. Henry Kyd Douglas,/ Rode With Stoneutall, in B. Botkin, A Ciuil War Treasury; 7: B. Conrad, FamousLast Words Jecou 1: E. Bell, Men of Mathematics Jeuns I 1: G. Colman, Circle of Anecdote;2: "Daily Mirror" Old Codger's Little Black '\I(/. Book 1; 3: Keddie, Literary and Scientific Anecdote Jeurs, H., 1-2: D, Cecil,Max: A Biography;3:

SO U R C E L I S T

D. Hall, ed.,OBALA; 4: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury The Riseand Fall of Jesse J., 1: R. Love, JenrES, 'S(Iallace, "Significlr" June 20, James;2: I. 1,982 '$(/'., L: AmericanScholarl: 4 (1,93L);2: Jeuns, L. Lucaire,CelebrityTriuia; 3: J. Barzun,A Stroll uith William James;4: Book-of-theMonth Club News,April 1948 Jennv L: P. M6ras, The Mermaids of Chenonceaux;2: A. Vollard, Recollections of a Picture Dealer;3: N. Lennon,Alfred Jarry: The Man with the Axe JnrrnnsoN,J., L: T. Masson, The BestStoriesin the World JrrrEnsoN,T., 1, 3, 8: HenryS.Randall,TheLife of ThomasJefferson,in P. Boller, ed., PresidentialAnecdotes;2:EdwardEllrs,Thomls ]efferson,A CharacterSketch,in Boller,PresidentialAnecdotes;4:Arthur D. Graeff,"Anecdotes Related in Pennsylvania-German Almanacsr" The American-GermanReuiew \/I (April 1940), in B. Botkin, Treasuryof American Anecdotes;6: J. Train, True Remarkable Occurrences;7, 9: Margaret B. Smith, The First Forty Yearsin Washington Society,in Boller,PresidentialAnecdotes;I0z 'Sililtse Boller, PresidentialAnecdotes,and C. and H. Moser, eds., The Papersof Daniel Webster- Correspondence, vol. II Jrrrnrvs 1r J. Braude,Speaker'sand Toastmaster's Handbook Jfn6up L: F. Loli6e, GildedBeautiesof tlte Second Empire Jennoro 1: ThomasPowell,The Liuing Authors of England,in J. Sutherland,€d., OBLA; 2: L. Copeland,10,000Jokes,Toasts,and Sro'W. ries; 3: E. Fuller, 2500 Anecdotes;4: Adams, Treasuryof Modern Anecdote JrssEr 2: A. Burrows,Honest,Abe JoHN XXru 4: P. Bussard,The New Catholic Treasuryof Wit and Humor; 5: H. Arendt, Men in Dark Times JoHN III Sonlnsxr L: D. George , A Book of Anecdotes JoHN, A., L: P. Mahony, Barbed Wit and MaliciousHumor JoHNsoN,A., 1: MoncureD. Conwdl, "The President's Defense," Fortnightly Reuiew, V (1865), in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes JoHNsoN,L., t: R. Caro, The Yearsof Lyndon lohnson, I; 2: David Halbersram,The Best and the Brightest,in P. Boller, €d., Presidential Anecdotes;3: "'V7ashington'Wags," Reader'sDigest,LXXV (October 1959), in Boller, PresidentialAnecdotes;7: Bill Adler, ed., The WashingtonWits, in Boller, Presidential Anecdotes JoHNsoN,N., l-22 N. Johrson;Flashback

S O U R C EL I S T

JoHNsoN,S., L, 3, 5, 1l-"1.2,14, 16-20,22-232 J. Boswell,Life of ]ohnson;2,7,10, 15,24: C. Hibbert, The PersonalHistory of Samuel lohnson; 4z H. Beste,Personaland Literary Memorials; 6: J. Timbs, Century of Anec'S7. dote; 8: Seward,Anecdotes;9, J. Braude, Speaker'sand Toastmaster'sHandbook; 13: L. Russell,English'Wits;21: \U7.Keddie,Literary and ScientificAnecdote 'W., 1: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes JoHNsoN, JoHNsroN1-2: B. Johnsron,Rain StopsPlay JorsoN 1: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren, The American Treasury Gipe, The Last Time'When JoNES,H., L: G. '/-,: JoNrs,Jeurs, Book-of-the-MonthClub News, September 1951, JoNns,JoHN Peur, L: M. Ringo,Nobody SaidIt Better;2: DNB JoNsoNL: E. Lucaire,CelebrityTriuia; 2t I. Aubrey, Brief Liues JosrnH II 1: E. Gu6rard,DictionnaireEncyclop|dique;2: C. Shriner,Wit,'Wisdom,and Foiblesof the Great Jowrr:r L: Sir Mountstuart ElphinstoneGrant Duff, No/es from a Diary, itt J. Sutherland, €d., OBLA; 2: T. Masson,The BestStories in the World Jovcn, Jenars,l: P. Mahony, Barbed Wit and Malicious Humor; 2: unpublishedms. by GeorgeRussell,in R. Ellmann,Jamesloyce; 3, 9: R. Ellmann,tames loyce; 4: S. Huddleston,Paris Salons,Cafds,Studios; 5: R. Ellmann, interview with Frank Budgen,in Ellman, lamesJoyce;7: Herbert GormanPapers,in Ellmann,JamesJoyce;8:R. Ellmann, interview with Carola Giedion-Welcker,in Ellmann,tames Joyce; 10: R. Ellmann, interview with S. Beckett,in Ellmann,James loyce Jovcr, JoHn, L: R. Ellmann,interviewwith Stan'S(/. islausJoyce,in Ellmann,Jamesloyce;2: 'S7iser, TheCrazyYears;3:unpublishednotes of Louis Gillet in Ellmann,JamesJoyce JovNsoN-Htcxs1: Oxfam, Passthe Port Juexc-zu 1: B. Conrad,FamousLast'Words Jurre l-4: Macrobius,Saturnalia JurreN 1: W. Durant, The Storyof Ciuilization,

ry

Juuus II 1: G. Vas ari, Liues of the Painters Juuus III 1: C. Speroni,Wit andWisdom of the Italian Renaissance "1,:Oxford Companion to Music; 2: H. JurueN Schonb€rB, The Great Conductors JussnneNo 1: William Roscoe Thayer, Theodore Rooseuelt: An Intimate Portrait, in P. Boller, Presidential Anecdotes; 2: Lewis Henry, Hu' morous Anecdotes about Famous People, in Boller, Presidential Anecdotes; 3: Los Angeles Times Book Reuiew, Sept. 9, 1984

620 Kec 1: M. Kac, Enigmas of Chance KeHN 1 : R. Marquard, Jokes and Anecdotes Keruo 1: A. Ranjanen, Of Finnish'Ways Keups 1: John Ramsay of Ochtertyre, Scotlanil and Scotsmen in the Eighteenth Century, in J. Sutherland,ed., OBLA KeNr 1: X7. Duranr, The Story of Philosophy; 2: H. Margolius, Der liichelnde Philosoph 'W. Kenr ArnxeNDER 1: Scholz, Das Buch des Lachens KensevINA 1 : R. Buckle, In the W ake of Diaghileu KasNpn l: C. Fadiman, Any Number Can Play; 2: C. Fadiman, The Mathematical Magpie KeuruaN 1-2: O. Levanr, The Unimportance of Being Oscar; 3: H. Teichm an, Smart Aleck; 4: B. Cerf, Try and Stop Me; 5-6: B. Cerf, Shake Well Before Using; 8: M. Connelly, Voices Offstage; 9-'1.1,,22: D. Herrmann, With Malice Toward All; 12: J. Nash, Zanies; 13: J. Adams on, Groucho, Harpo, Chico; 14: D. Hall, ed., OBALA; 15,23: R. Drennan, The Algonquin Wits; t6-t7: R. Drennan, Wit's End; 19: C. Fadiman and C. Van Doren, The American Treasury; 20: C. Sifakis, Dictionary of Historic Nicknames; 2'1,: Los Angeles Times Book Reuiew, Aug. 7, 1983 KeuNrrz-RrnrBURG l: W. and A. Durant, The Story of Ciuilization, X Kners 1-3: Charles Armitage Brown, "Life of John Keats," in H. E. Rollins, ed., The Keats Circle: Letters and Papers 1816-78 Krxur6 voN SrnenoNrrz 1: J. Daintith, et ol., Biographical Encyclopedia of Scientists KnrreNo 1r J. Braude, Speaker's and Toastmaster's Handbook;2:8. Cerf: Try and Stop Me Knrren 1: A. Whitm an, Come to Judgment KErty, G., 1: A. Lewis, Those Philadelphia Kellys Krtty, M., 1: A. Bespaloff, The FiresideBook of Wine KErvtN 1: Oxfam, Passthe Port; 2z S. Bolton, Famous Men of Science;3: A. Fleming, Memories of a Scientific Life; 4: E. Bell, Men of Matbematics KEnasrE,C., 1, J. Ay., Humour in the Theatre KpunrE, F., 1: Thomas B. Reed, €d., Modern Eloquenc€, X, in B. Botkin, Treasury of American Anecdotes; 2: J. Furnas, Fanny Kernble Knuntn, J., 1: Thomas Moore's Diary, in D. George,A Book of Anecdotes;2: J. Aye, Humour in the Theatre KnunrE, S., 1: W. Keddie, Literary and Scientific Anecdote KnNNnDy,J. F., 1, 8, 14: M. Ringo, Nobody Said It Better; 2: A. \fhitman, Come to .ludgment; 3-4: P. Collier and D. Horowitz, The Kennedys; 5: R. Shenkrnanand K. Reiger, OneNight Stands With American History; 6: I. Wallace et al., Intimate Sex Liues of Famous People; 7: R. Bing, A Knight at tbe Opera;

621, 9, I.McAleer, "Globe Man's Daily Story," Boston Globe, Jan. 22, 1955i 10, 12: D. I. Wallace, The People's Wallechinskyand 'W. Manchester,One Brief Almanac; !l: ShiningMoment; 13: H. Sidey,John F. Ken' nedy,President;15: E. Jones,A Food Louer's Companion;L5: R. Martin, A Hero for Our Times;l7z H. RainieandJ. Quinn, Growing Up a Kennedy KnNNnDy,JosrnH, 1, ClevelandAmory: The ProperBostonians,in B. Botkin, Treasuryof American Anecdotes;2: M. Gordon, Max 3: P. Collier, The KenGordon Presents; 'S7. Manchester,One Brief Shining nedys;4: Moment Knprrn L: I. Asimov, BiographicalEncyclopedia Knppnr L: G. Colman, Circleof Anecdote Kpn 1,: J. Gere, Geoffrey Madan's Notebooks; 2, I. MacCunn, Recollectionsof W. P. Ker by Two Friends Krnouec L: R. Nelson,TheAlmanacof American Letters KnvNBs1: C. Hession,John Maynard Keynes; 2; A. CaveBrown, The Last Hero KHnusncHnv1: M. Ringo, No body Said It Better; 2: J. Gunther,Inside RussiaToday;3: B. Adler, My FauoriteFunny Story;4: Kenneth P. O'Donnelland David E. Powers,"Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye";S: K. Edwards,I Wish I'd Said That; 6z D. Niven, Bring On the Empty Horses KtrneN L: B. Cerf, Shake.Well Before Using KtNnn 1r J. Humes, Speakers'Treasury KtNcrern L: J. Gere, Geoffrey Madan's Notebooks KINcsern L: S. ril(rinchester,Their Noble Lordships KtprtNc L: H. Hoffmeister, Anekdotenschatzi 2: E. Fuller,2500 Anecdotes KrncHHoFF 1: I. Asimov, Biographical Encyclopedia KtssINcnn1-2: R. Valeriani,Trauelswith Henry KmcHnNERL: A. Taylor, English History KnrnnDGEL: C. Fadimanand C. Van Doren,The American Treasury Krnw L: H. Prochnow, The Public Speaker's TreasureChest KTEupERER 3: H. Temianka,Facingthe Music Kr6prnn 1: H. Hoffmeister,Anekdotenschatz KNerrnn 1: H. Walpole, Anecdotesof Painting; 2: A Dictionaryof Anecdotes(1809),in D. George,A Book of Anecdotes;3: L. Russell, English Wits KNopr L: C. Fadiman,Fifty Years KNox, P., 1: T. Buckley,Violent Neighbors KNox, R., L: R. Knox, Literary Distractions;23, 6: E. Waugh,Ronald Knox KNox-JoHNsroN L: C. Bonington, Quest fo, Aduenture

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