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Shadow Work Guidebook Steps to Becoming Whole

Jessica Cross

Copyright © 2015 Jessica Cross All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

To my parents who support me down all my paths.

Forward You do not need to have any specific spiritual belief to benefit from this workshop. I do not dismiss or propose any specific spiritual belief. What I do, is throw every tool available at my brain when I feel stuck or have a problem to overcome. I feel the most powerful tool is guided meditation. It helps us to tap into parts of our brains that we can’t access when we try to think something out. It may also help us to God(s) and/or the energy or spirit all around us that can help guide us. I use astrology and moon cycles to help set goals and periods of activity and relaxation throughout the year. I also use personal astrology to consider the way I may be thinking about a problem and the vastly different ways people can think and behave. Stagnation is my enemy, and so guidance towards different ways to think and perceive the world is what keeps me growing. I use tarot and oracle cards in this way. They help to look at problems in a different light and to sometimes surrender our need to have all the answers and be in control of every situation. Whatever your beliefs about why these tools help, they work to help change your perception! If you are watching a video workshop and are unfamiliar with ASMR, I will give a short explanation. I will begin each guided meditation session with an ASMR ritual to help you

relax and get into a meditative state. Many people experience a tingling sensation on the back of their head in response to a whisper, soft spoken voice, personal attention (even through a video or audio recording) or certain relaxing sounds (triggers). This is an Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). This sensation (tingles) causes a feeling of well-being, relaxation, and helps many people to sleep. ASMR is a popular relaxation technique for anxiety.

Introduction What is your shadow? Your shadow is the part of yourself that you have tried to push away or ignore. It is not necessarily good or bad, but it is a part of you that you don’t acknowledge. Often as children we learn that we need to act a certain way to be accepted. We therefore push any parts of ourselves that don’t fit that mold aside. As adults we have the option to embrace those aspects of ourselves again and become whole! As children we see the world as black and white. If we have to act one way to be “good,” than the opposite is “bad,” and needs to be suppressed. Say you grew up in a household that valued quiet; being noisy and standing out may have been deemed as “bad.” This is not some sinister plan set up by those raising you, just a noise level preference, but the result may be that as an adult you struggle to voice your opinions and stand out in a crowd. Some shadow aspects are caused by trauma, and we may learn some lessons that are very hard to undo. Our brain may have learned that it is very unsafe to try and access these parts of our shadow. We all learn these lessons while figuring out how to function in this world as children, in loving and not so loving families, from friends, teachers, extended families, books, and television, really anything that happens to touch and resonate in our young and malleable

brains. We also can form shadow as adults but a fully formed adult brain has an easier time recognizing that we have formed a shadow. Those parts still need to be accessed and reclaimed but the shadows formed as a child a harder to access. Those shadows seem to have always been there and we don’t always remember their creation, so they seem to just be truth. What if we don’t access our shadow? Often we lose important parts of ourselves and those parts may act out in order to get attention. Have you ever had an angry outburst or a crying jag that was out of proportion to the situation? That is usually your shadow trying to get your attention. Accessing your shadow can feel scary but remember, it is already part of you, and often a part that needs healing in order to rejoin you as a supportive part of your whole psyche. Reaching for the shadow is an important process if we are going to become the whole adult we want to be. We want to choose who we are, not have it dictated by someone else. Often our shadow aspects are scared children who need a hug. They need to be appreciated for how the tried to help us growing up, and they need to know that they can come out and will be heard and supported. The shadow will rear its head regardless of whether you acknowledge it. Would you rather put your arms around your shadow and tell it you understand, or have it periodically take over your body or

prevent you from accessing some parts of your talent and abilities? Don’t fear your shadow, it is you, but it is much easier to handle when you know it!

Meditation Tips

Meditation takes practice just like any other skill. Many of us have one of our senses that we can tap into easier in meditation. It may be feelings, colors, smells, textures, words or visuals. Use whatever you get in a meditation to begin your practice. Eventually each of these senses will be easier to access when in meditation. The most important thing is not to negate what you feel, see or hear. Many people who struggle with meditation do so because they discount what they experience. Whatever we tap into in meditation often speaks through the reality we are familiar with. You may see clips you know are from films you have seen or books you have read. You may see fairies or dragons even though you do not believe these entities exit. Go with it! You are being taught in a way that you can understand and access. If you don’t negate what you are seeing I promise you that by the end of the meditation you will have learned something that you did not know before you started. Let the message come to you in whatever form it needs to, even if it is silly or cliché. Enjoy your time in meditation and have fun!

Meditation: Raven

Get comfortable sitting or lying down. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Picture yourself walking through a forest. Hear the sounds of leaves under your feet. Smell the crisp air and the forest scents. See the light of the sun filter through the trees as you walk on a path through the forest. Soon you see a clearing ahead. In this clearing there is a large tree the size of a small house. Near one root of the tree there appears to be an earthen staircase heading down into the ground. Walk down this staircase and onto a path that leads through a tunnel, just light enough to see through from a few holes to the sunlight above. Soon you enter a part of the tunnel that is darker, as there are no holes above and you seem to be sloping downwards. This tunnel is soon lit by sunlight that seems to be coming from the end of the tunnel. The end of the tunnel appears, and remarkably leads to a clearing within another forest. You are now in the lower realm. As your eyes adjust to the sun you see a beautiful meadow surrounded by trees. Look into the sky. Does it look the same as the sky on the physical realm? How does the sun look here? Are there any other differences here from the land above? Soon you notice, to the side of the clearing, a large Raven

standing on the ground. It comes closer to you and you see that it has a piece of meat in its beak. It looks directly at you and then turns its head towards the forest. It hops a few feet away and then pauses. It looks back at you as if waiting for you to follow; it then hops farther away and you do start to follow. It begins to fly but stays low to the ground and allows you to keep up. Raven leads you into the forest and after a short walk flies to a nest up in a tree. The nest is about half way up the tree. You begin to climb the tree and find it much easier than you expected. As you reach a limb across from the nest you see that the Raven is feeding the meat to her young. You recognize that Raven will find sustenance from almost anywhere. Raven is not squeamish, and has adapted to digest even the most unpalatable meal. Raven has learned to survive where others could not. As you look at Raven you see the rainbow of colors reflected off her jet black wings. She lets out a cry. It is loud and not at all lovely. Raven does not care if you like her cry. Raven will call and sound alarms without concern for how she is received. She calls again as if to reinforce this fact. At her third call she looks at you and raises her beak as if to indicate that it is your turn. Reach for the branch above you and stand on the limb where you were sitting. Think of something that you have needed to say but have been worried about how it would be received. Is there a

boundary you need to set or a truth you need to tell? Take this time to shout that truth to the world. Raven calls to you again, offering encouragement and raises her beak higher. You feel strong as you climb up to the limb where you were holding on and stand. Shout your truth again, or shout another truth you need to express. Raven calls to you again and raises her beak. You feel powerful as you climb one limb higher up the tree and stand. Shout your truth to the world without worrying about the response, as it is the only voice you have. Look out over the forest and see that no trees have toppled due to your words. Breathe in the crisp air and feel the wind that still blows despite your truth. Climb back down to Raven and thank her for her gift. Climb down the tree and begin to walk back towards the clearing. It is not far and you have no trouble finding your way. Head for the tunnel and make your way back up to your realm. Think of your fears about speaking your truths. Have they changed since meeting Raven? They may change or continue to change throughout the week. Rise and begin to walk back down the path through the forest. Soon you begin to hear the sounds of the room where your physical body waits. Start to wiggle your fingers and toes and feel where you are sitting or lying. When you are ready, open your eyes.

After each meditation find a way to ground yourself and return to your physical body. You can eat or drink something. Feel your extra energy sinking into the earth. Go outside and touch the ground with your feet and give your energy to a tree or other plant. Physical exercise can also help return you to your body. Find something that makes you feel connected to your body and the earth so you can go on with your day.

Workbook

Write the first thing that comes into your head when reading the questions below. You can go back and change your answers after further thought but our first reactions are often the most truthful. Name three traits in others that really irritate you: 1. 2. 3. What was the last situation where you feel you really over reacted?

What do you like most about yourself?

What do you like least about yourself? What three traits do you most admire in others? 1. 2. 3.

Meditation: A Tiny Dose

I want you to get comfortable and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and find yourself in a library room. This may be a room you have visited before or someplace totally new. You notice that next to a fireplace there are two chairs facing one another. In one of the chairs there is someone you care about. This someone also has a trait, or many, that really bother you. Sit down in the chair opposite this person. Neither of you speak but you may be able to hear each other’s thoughts at some point. I want you to look at this person and think of all the adjectives that you would use to describe an irritating trait this person has, focusing on aspects of one troublesome area. So, if this person is irresponsible, you would focus on words like; unreliable, unfocused, off in their own world, selfish, etc. Think of all the aspects of that annoying trait. Now you can hear the thoughts of the person you are with and all the adjectives they would use to describe an irritating trait of yours. This may focus on the opposite of their annoying trait. For the example above, the thoughts about you, if you are responsible are; rigid, inflexible, domineering, bossy, etc. Don’t take these too personally but just realize how others may see this trait in you.

Now think about the ultimate extreme of your guest’s trait. What terrible conclusions could this trait lead to? What are your fears of having this trait? For the example above it could be; losing your job, estranged from family, losing money, addiction, etc. What if you were to take a 1% dose of the trait of your guest? It would not bring you anywhere near your ultimate fears but what would it give you to be a tiny bit more like your guest in this regard. Are there any positive aspects of this trait that you would like? What are the personal benefits of having this trait and would a tiny dose really hurt you? Following the example above, how would it feel to worry less about the expectations of other, allow yourself to be more free, and to allow yourself to make more mistakes? Your guest hands you a tiny cup, will you drink? If you have a guide in the room you may ask any questions about this interaction. Has it changed the way you feel about your guest? When you feel ready hear the sounds around you, wiggle your fingers and toes and open your eyes. You may wish to write in a journal the adjectives you used for each of the meditation questions and your conclusions after the meditation.

Exploration

In Astrology, the North Node is where you are going and the South Node is often seen as the negative patterns from childhood or past lives that you need to leave behind. Sounds like the shadow, right? These are the challenges you keep trying to overcome. The lunar nodes are the orbital nodes of the Moon, that is, the points where the orbit of the Moon crosses the ecliptic of the sun path in the sky. So what are your North and South Node? Your North Node is easy to find with chart below based on your birth date. Date Sign Jan 1, 1940 - May 24, 1941 Libra May 25, 1941 - Nov 21, 1942 Virgo Nov 22, 1942 - May 11, 1944 Leo May 12, 1944 - Dec 3, 1945 Cancer Dec 4, 1945 - Aug 2, 1947 Gemini Aug 3, 1947 - Jan 26, 1949

Taurus Jan 27, 1949 - Jul 26, 1950 Aries Jul 27, 1950 - Mar 28, 1952 Pisces Mar 29, 1952 - Oct 9, 1953 Aquarius Oct 10, 1953 - Apr 2, 1955 Capricorn Apr 3, 1955 - Oct 4, 1956 Sagittarius Oct 5, 1956 - Jun 16, 1958 Scorpio Jun 17, 1958 - Dec 15, 1959 Libra Dec 16, 1959 - Jun 10, 1961 Virgo Jun 11, 1961 - Dec 23, 1962 Leo Dec 24, 1962 - Aug 25, 1964 Cancer Aug 26, 1964 - Feb 19, 1966 Gemini Feb 20, 1966 - Aug 19, 1967 Taurus Aug 20, 1967 - Apr 19, 1969

Aries Apr 20, 1969 - Nov 2, 1970 Pisces Nov 3, 1970 - Apr 27, 1972 Aquarius Apr 28, 1972 - Oct 27, 1973 Capricorn Oct 28, 1973 - Jul 9, 1975 Sagittarius Jul 10, 1975 - Jan 7, 1977 Scorpio Jan 8, 1977 - Jul 5, 1978 Libra Jul 6, 1978 - Jan 5, 1980 Virgo Jan 6, 1980 - Sep 24, 1981 Leo Sep 25, 1981 - Mar 16, 1983 Cancer Mar 17, 1983 - Sep 11, 1984 Gemini Sep 12, 1984 - Apr 6, 1986 Taurus Apr 7, 1986 - Dec 2, 1987 Aries Dec 3, 1987 - May 22, 1989

Pisces May 23, 1989 - Nov 18, 1990 Aquarius Nov 19, 1990 - Aug 1, 1992 Capricorn Aug 2, 1992 - Feb 1, 1994 Sagittarius Feb 2, 1994 - Jul 31, 1995 Scorpio Aug 1, 1995 - Jan 25, 1997 Libra Jan 26, 1997 - Oct 20, 1998 Virgo Oct 21 1998 - Apr 9, 2000 Leo Apr 10, 2000 - Oct 13, 2001 Cancer Oct 14, 2001 - Apr 14, 2003 Gemini Apr 15, 2003 - Dec 26, 2004 Taurus Dec 27, 2004 - Jun 22, 2006 Aries Jun 23, 2006 - Dec 18, 2007 Pisces Dec 19, 2007 - Aug 21, 2009

Aquarius Use this table in order to approximate the sign of the North Node for a given date. If the date falls on the date of a changeover of signs, you will need to have a chart drawn in order to find the correct sign. The South Node is the exact same degree of the opposite sign in the zodiac of the North Node. Therefore: If Your North Node is in: Then Your South Node is in: Aries Libra Taurus Scorpio Gemini Sagittarius Cancer Capricorn Leo Aquarius Virgo Pisces Libra Aries Scorpio Taurus

Sagittarius Gemini Capricorn Cancer Aquarius Leo Pisces Virgo These are just to think of what things in your life you may need to let go of so if your Node does not resonate with you look at others to find one that might be more accurate for you. These descriptions below are a very small picture of a possible part your personality and not your entire birth chart. If your South Node is: VIRGO You may struggle with being domineering, conservative, argumentative. You may worry a lot and dislike noise and chaos. You may also be shy and pessimistic. You may be hard to please and always need the last word. SCORPIO You may be jealous and possessive. You may hold grudges and be self-centered at times. You may struggle with obsessions or being overly emotional. You may have too many secrets.

LIBRA You may not be able to make up your mind and give in to others too easily. You may be very gullible. You may hate to be alone. You may procrastinate. You may be overly flirtatious. ARIES You may be very impatient. You may be easily angered and/or easily bored. You may be egotistical and sometimes selfish. AQUARIUS You may seem unemotional. You may be very stubborn. You may be overly eccentric and rebellious. GEMINI You may be very chatty and prone to gossip. You may be argumentative and outspoken. You may sometimes be nervous and tense. You may seem superficial or inconsistent. LEO You may take over everything and be very bossy. You may be overly confident in your own abilities or overly sensitive. CANCER You may be moody and emotional. You may be shy, protective and overly cautious. You may be easily hurt and have little self-love. PISCES

You may be secretive and vague. You may be overly sensitive. You may be dreamy and unrealistic. You may be distracted easily and not detail oriented. CAPRICORN You may be shy and reserved. You may act before you think. You may be pessimistic and seem unfriendly. You may hold grudges. You may feel the need to always get what you want. TAURUS You may be aggressive and throw temper tantrums. You may take too much pride in your beauty. You may over indulge yourself. SAGITTARIUS You may act childish and irresponsible. You may be boastful and hypocritical. You may over indulge in luxuries and/or gambling. You may be impatient and don’t like having to defend yourself. You may not like being confined mentally or physically, even by clothing.

Meditation: Past Life Regression

Depending on your beliefs, this may be an actual past life of yours, of part of your energy, of someone else or a metaphor created by spirit or your brain in order to teach you. The exercise is very beneficial no matter what your beliefs. Don’t censor yourself and see what you learn. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Find yourself in a room with a large mirror on one wall. This mirror is taller and wider than you and is the only item in the room. You may have a guide in the room with you. Ask your guide or the energies around you to take you into a past life that will give you some insight into a current shadow trait. When you are ready, I want you to step through the mirror and into a dimly lit tunnel. The tunnel is long. As you walk along the tunnel you feel at peace and you lose all of your worries of the day. As you see a light from the end of the tunnel, you also start to lose your connection to your own current physical body. When you exit the tunnel you have traveled in time and space to a past life. Look at the ground. Are you standing outside or inside a building? Is the ground earth or flooring? What do your feet look like? Are they large or small? Are you wearing shoes or are your feet bare? Travel up your body. What are you wearing on your legs? What is on your torso? Is your

body large or small? Can you guess your age by the size of your body? How are you wearing your hair? Are you wearing any jewelry? Are you male or female? Don’t worry, if you can’t answer all of these questions, more information may come to you. Now look at your surroundings. Where are you? Are you alone or with other people? Listen to hear if anyone calls you by name. Do you feel compelled to do something; were you in the middle of a task? Hear the sounds around you. What do you smell? How do you feel as this person? Now I want you to move forward in this life to an important time. What is happening? Where are you? Can you tell your age? Why is this a significant moment? Who are you with? How do you feel? Move forward again into another important milestone in this life. What are you doing? What is the situation? Where are you? Who are you with? How do you feel? Why is this time important? Now finally I want you to move to a time shortly before this person’s death. You may know you are dying or this may be shortly before an unexpected death. Do not continue to the actual death. What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Is anyone with you? What is important to remember about this life? Now I want you to head back towards the tunnel. As you walk down the long tunnel, begin to feel fully yourself

again. Once you exit the tunnel you can ask a guide who may be present or the energies around you the meaning of the life you just saw? How does this life influence your current life? What clarification do you need about what you just experienced? When you feel ready you can thank your guide or the energies and begin to return to your physical body. Feel where your body is sitting or lying down; hear the sounds around you. Wiggle your fingers and toes, take a deep breath and open your eyes. As soon as you can write down what you experienced in meditation. If it is unclear to you the lesson of this past life, the act of summarizing it in a journal may clarify what you were to learn. Remember, if you don’t believe in past lives that is fine. This technique may just be tapping into your unconscious and using a story narrative to help explain some underlying beliefs you may not be aware of.

Self-Care

Shadow work is very difficult. Some people let the fear paralyze them and they never learn to integrate the hidden parts of themselves. As we are learning Shadow work doesn’t have to be all pain and heartache. We are also integrating positive attributes that we hid away out of fear. Let’s explore some of the beautiful aspects of yourself that we have hidden away. If you can’t take this whole day off, break it up into different segments and take this time when you can. Read this a few days before your planned day off and obtain anything you need (books, magazines, costume, picnic supplies) Duration

Activity Wake up 15 min Imagine you are a small child and you are seeking the ultimate snow or fake sick day. Know that “Mental Health” days are as important as actual sick days and even better when they are taken as a preventative rather than when you are actually starting to break down. 1-2 hours Spend the morning in bed doing whatever you want that is entertainment. Do you want to read a

book or magazines? Do you want to watch TV or a movie, just make sure it is something light and not stressful; cartoons are a great choice at any age. Have breakfast in bed. It can be a bit indulgent but make sure it includes some of the nutrients you will need for the day so you won’t be too lethargic. ½ hour-1 hour Shower. Before getting dressed, like a child, think of “who” you want to be today. What costume do you want to wear? Think of at least one attribute you want to obtain or enhance today. How would someone with that attribute dress, comb their hair, wear accessories and/or make-up? Wigs and capes are acceptable. If you feel like you need to purchase something to make your transformation complete allow yourself to buy it, within reason (no you don’t need a Rolex to be powerful). ½ hour Pack a picnic lunch. Close your eyes and think of what will bring your nourishment emotionally and physically, these are often very different things so find what meets both criteria. 1-2 hours

Go out into nature if in

any way possible. Even if it is cold, bundle up and go to a park for at least a few minutes. Look for the magic around you. Don’t ignore the flash of light through the trees as just the sun peeking from behind a cloud. Don’t be blasé about an amazing climbing tree or a mist in the woods, this is enchantment. Be in awe of the beauty in nature. Find a tree you are drawn to and place your hands on the bark. Allow all extra energies that you no longer need to travel down the tree to the earth; let this tree ground you. ½ hour Have your picnic. If it is too cold out, sit in your car and look out at the park if possible. ½ hour Find a place to meditate. This may be back at your home, in the park or in another quiet place you know of. If you have an inner temple this is a good time to visit your “Room of Requirement.” If not, a good question to focus on is “What do I need right now?” ½ hour Start a gratitude journal. Write down everything you are thankful for today. You can go on to focus on all the things you are grateful for in your life

but a good place to start is just a list for today. At the end of your list add the thing you like most about yourself. Try to make a list each day. ½-1 hour Listen to music from your youth. Dance stupid dances from that time if you want to. What was it about this music that meant so much to you at the time? What did it give you that you lacked? What story did it tell you that gave your life meaning? 1 hour Bake or buy cookies as an after school snack (buying dough out of a tube is fine). If you buy premade cookies heat them in the microwave so you get some of the smell of warm cookies if possible. The smell in your house is a big part of the joy. Feel free to eat with milk. 1-2 hours Play a game. A video game is fine as long as it doesn’t cause you stress. Play solitaire. Do a crossword puzzle or Soduko. Dig out an old Rubix Cube or other puzzle game. 1-1 ½ hours Plan dinner with family and/or friends and play. Enjoy the people around you for the evening!

Get a good night sleep. Shadow work takes a lot of energy

Meditation: Seeds in the Garden

Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Picture yourself in a garden. This may be a garden you have visited before or someplace completely new. It is early spring and there is a patch of freshly tilled ground in front of a bench. You go to sit on the bench and look at this new garden bed. Next to the bed is a mound of compost and a shovel. There is also a soaker hose running through the bed to keep the earth moist. The area is sunny and someone has prepared this area for optimum growth. Walk over to the bench and sit down. Soon you see a child of about 3 or 4 years old, running towards you. This child is you at that age. The child sits down next to you and says they have something for you. They open their little hand and in it are some seeds; it maybe only one or several. The child says the seeds represent abilities and traits that they were taught not to let grow. They may have been planted once and chopped down but some seeds from that planting were saved and hidden. The child asks you to plant the seeds again and protect them. What are each of the seeds? You probably know, but if you don’t you can ask the child about the seeds. Before taking any seeds, dig some compost into the soil. Follow the soaker hose to the spout and turn on the water.

Will you plant all of the seeds, some or none? Are you ready to embrace all of these aspects of yourself? Take whichever seeds you will plant and use only your hands to dig in the soil and plant the seeds one by one. Gently cover each seed with soil by hand. Sit back on the bench, and take the hand of the child in your now dirty hand, they don’t mind. You watch the soil together, as amazingly tiny seedlings pop out of the ground. They are still small and will need to be nurtured to grow strong roots, but they are already visible. You may ask any questions you wish of this child. What do they need? How can you be of any more help? Tell them you love them and will try to be there for them. Give your friend a hug goodbye and agree to meet again to watch the progress of the garden. When you are ready, turn and walk through the garden and begin to return to your physical body. Hear the sounds in the room where your body is; feel where you are sitting or lying down. Wiggle your fingers and toes and when you feel ready open your eyes.

Creativity

Think of your life as a myth. When reading a legend or myth you never hear about the boring everyday parts of the hero’s or heroine’s life (I don’t consider the word “hero” as gender specific, so I will simply use this term going forward). What are the overarching themes of your life? Many theorize that some pagan Gods were stories of actual people that just grew to mythical proportions, so make sure to exaggerate as much as possible. Where does the story take place? What special strengths or abilities does the character have? What challenge will the character have to face? Does the hero have any special help in solving the problem? How was the problem solved, and was there a reward? You can meditation and watch your myth as if it was a movie or ask one of your guides to tell you the story of your life. If you struggle with writing your myth, fill in the blanks below quickly without thinking too much. There once was a child who ​_ ___________________. As a child, they were always amazing how they could _____________. It was clear that they were guided to

_____________________. One day they found that they were able to ___________________________. When faced with _________________ they proved that their power to ______________ could overcome this obstacle. They brought so much to the world with their ability to ______________________.

Meditation: Mountain Download

Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Picture yourself again in a beautiful garden. You are walking through a new part of the garden and you notice a plant that climbs all the way up into the clouds. Begin to climb, and while it takes effort to climb you feel strong and full of energy as you race to the upper realm. Once you emerge above the clouds, step off of the plant and find the earth is solid, and you are surrounded by a beautiful landscape. Look around and see how this world is different from the physical realm where your body exists. Up ahead you see a large mountain. It looks far away, but as you begin to walk towards the mountain you find that you cover ground quickly. It is as if you have wings or the gravity is different in this realm. Soon you are at the base of the mountain. It looks immensely high, but as when climbing the plant you feel strength and energy as you walk up the mountain. Look around you as you walk. You may see very different plants or animals. You may be joined by a guide. Do not judge the form this guide takes. Continue to walk up to the summit. If a guide has not already joined you, there will be a guide waiting at the top of the mountain. Find a comfortable place to sit with your guide at the top of the mountain. If your guide has hands, you may join

hands or simply touch your guide. When touching your guide, you not only feel their energy but you feel that by connecting with one another you begin to raise more energy. You feel the wind pick up around you as the energy begins to swirl and rise up to the sky above you. Once you feel you have raised the appropriate amount of energy I want you to ask to receive a download of the emotions you have been hiding away and refusing to see. Do not pass judgment on these feelings, just acknowledge them and allow yourself to see them. No feelings are bad, and they are all part of you, whether you acknowledge them or not, but when you hide them they have to force their way out. See these feelings as if they are balls of color in front of you. Are there any of these feelings that you are ready to embrace and allow yourself to accept as part of you? You may not be ready, but it is a good first step to at least see these feelings. You may be ready to embrace one emotion and know the others will be there for you on that mountain when you feel strong enough to admit them. Pull into your body any emotions you are ready to acknowledge and feel that change. Take any bubbles of emotions that you are not ready to embrace and give them to your guide. Your guide pulls these into their body to keep safe for you. You may ask your guide any questions you have about the emotions that you received. When you are ready, thank your guide and begin to walk

back down the mountain. Return to the plant, and climb back down to the garden. Does your body feel different on this realm? Does your body feel different with any of the emotions you chose to embrace? Walk through the garden for a bit to integrate these changes into your body. When you feel ready you can begin to feel where you are sitting in your physical body. Hear any sounds in the room; wiggle your fingers and toes. When you feel ready, open your eyes.

Transformation

It is time to create a representation of your Shadows that will help you to remember the need to do shadow work regularly in your life. You will need a bag or a box to store the items you will use to represent your shadows. You may decide to purchase items to represent the different aspects of your shadow, but I often think it is powerful to find objects in your home, or in nature to use as these representations. Step 1: Write down the various aspects of Shadow that we have explored. What were the truths Raven taught you to voice? What are the irritating traits you find in others that may reflect a part of your shadow you are repressing? What are the aspects of your South Node that you may be working through? What shadow aspects have you found in your past lives? What seeds needed replanting in your garden? What lost feelings were returned to you? Who is your inner child? Step 2: Walk around your house, look through a closet or walk through nature and find objects that you can use to represent each of your Shadows. This can be as simple as rocks that you write on. You can also purchase stones online or in a metaphysical shop. Anything that will keep

you from losing what you have found in yourself. Step 3: Place your items in a bag or a box and write in your calendar, at least one time when you will revisit this box and continue with your Shadow Work. I like to begin Shadow Work in the late fall and continue through to Spring on and off. You might want to do one Shadow meditation each New Moon. Find whatever works for you, but schedule it so you won’t forget this important practice.

Meditation: Integration with Childhood Self

I recommend you start with a memory that is not too painful and work your way up to more challenging events. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Find yourself again in the library we visited earlier. Look around the room and see if it has changed. What is on the floor? How does it smell? Is there a fire in the fireplace? I want you to go and sit by one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. As you look at the fireplace I want you to pick one event in your childhood that has made you feel uncomfortable. Do not relive this memory, but just acknowledge what occurred. Soon out of the corner of the library emerges a version of you who went through this situation. This child comes and sits down in the opposite chair. I want you to take this child by the hands and tell them that this situation should not have happened. Tell them that you are them as an adult and you have grown and are strong now. Tell them that you are now big enough to take care of them. Ask them what they have been hiding, or doing to try and protect you. Tell them they no longer need to carry that burden for you, and that as an adult you may not need that protection anymore. Ask them how you can help them to feel better. Tell this child that you love them. Ask if they would like to

come and live inside of your heart and always feel that love. Give this child a hug. If they agreed to enter your heart, feel them slowly join with your body. Send a burst of love energy from your heart all throughout your body and the area surrounding your body. Feel this healing light calm you, and release any judgment of yourself. Turn that light blue and allow it to calm you and help you to relax. With each breath in feel that calm energy; with each exhale release any pain, fear or judgment. Feel the energy from the earth and the sky entering your body to bring you peace. Continue to breathe, and when you feel ready, hear the sounds around your physical body. Feel where you are sitting or lying down; wiggle your fingers and toes. When you feel ready, open your eyes.

Ritual

In writing our myth we have acknowledged that the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be negative or positive. Neither are totally “true” but are just frameworks we use to structure our lives. This is also true of some of the negative stories we have told ourselves multiple times. Studies have shown that the more we think of a memory the less accurate it is. Now as adults we can start to look at these stories for what they are; they are the boxes we needed to learn to navigate the world. Hopefully, we are now able to see that the world is much grayer, than black and white. Very few things are all bad and even good things are usually bad in excess. In this ritual we will emphasize that our stories are not all fact and we can change perspectives. We no longer need to live in the box we created as a child trying to navigate a strange world if it is not serving us now.

ITEMS NEEDED A small item you choose to represent your mythical character. You may choose a stone that you feel carries the characteristics of your hero.

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A copy of your myth.

Something to drink or a small snack that appeals to you. Wine and/or chocolate are always my favorite choices. You may even find a food or drink that seems to fit with your myth. A rattle or drum, or something to make sound with. -

Scissors

A costume that represents a storyteller or your hero, if you wish. This is theatrical! Act out the part of the storyteller and wear your costume, if that appeals to you. Walk clockwise around your room, holding the items you will use for the ritual. Once you complete the circle enter the center of the room and place down the items you carry. Imagine yourself surrounded by your people (you can complete this ritual in a group if you have willing participants). You hold the stories that bring cohesion and entertainment to your society. You may decide to draw out the tension by singing, or making music with the instrument you have brought. Read your myth as if to a group of enrapt listeners. You may sit or

walk around, whatever feels most comfortable to you. You may punctuate each sentence with your instrument or simply play your instrument at the end of the reading to symbolize the ending. Have fun, use the acting skills we all had when playing pretend as children. After completing your story, place the symbolic item you have brought onto the written copy of your myth. Wrap your hands around the item and think of the core characteristic of your hero. Imbue your item with your intention that it hold this characteristic. Touch your item to the drink or food that you brought. If using a stone you can place the stone in a glass of water. After giving the item time to pass on some of its characteristic, consider the strengths of your hero and then drink or eat what you have brought and filled with this characteristic. Take these strengths into your body as you eat or drink. Next take your scissors and cut the copy of your myth into puzzle pieces, that fit together to tell a story but in no way tell all of who you are. You may decide to place your puzzle pieces under the symbolic item in your sacred space, alter or another meaningful or safe place in your home. Circle back around your room acknowledging the “audience” around you. Feel the hero in you grow a little but recognize that this again, is a story we can use to help us grow, but it is only one part of the story.

Meditation: Personal Journey

Take a deep breath in. Exhale and close your eyes. See yourself at the base of a mountain. The mountain is dark and the clouds above are ominous. You begin the arduous climb up the mountain. It is not easy but you know that is part of your quest. Luckily you know the summit is not your goal. After climbing for a while, you are tired but you still have the energy to go on. You then see a cave leading into the mountain. Walk towards the cave, as this is where you have been heading. At the mouth of the cave, a guide is waiting for you. The guide leads you into the cave. It is dark, but you see a faint light ahead. As you walk the light gets brighter. Walk towards the light. Soon, the light leads you to a large cavernous room filled with items. At first you think it is a treasure room, but soon you realize that amongst the treasure is all manner of items. Your guide tells you that this is the room where lost items are taken. This includes lost feelings, memories and talents. Wander around the room and pick up any item that feels like it belongs to you. You can ask your guide the meaning of any item you pick up. When you are finished here let your guide lead you through the mountain tunnel and out the other side. See if there are any other rooms to visit. Is anyone waiting for you on the

other side? When you have completed your quest, thank your guide. You can then return to your physical body. Hear the sounds around you, feel your physical body. Wiggle your fingers and toes and whey you are ready, open your eyes.

Congratulations! Thank you so much for taking this journey with me and I hope we will take many more,

Jessica Cross, LCSW

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jessica Cross is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Licensed Massage Therapist with over 15 years’ experience teaching and providing relaxation, stress reduction and meditation training.