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How to Create Love The Secret Revealed Copyright © 2010 Melanie Tonia Evans www.melanietoniaevans.com

Melanie Tonia Evans

Empowered Self

Copyright © 2011 Melanie Tonia Evans www.melanietoniaevans.com

How to Create Love The Secret Revealed by Melanie Tonia Evans

© 2011+April Copyrighted Content by Melanie Tonia Evans. All rights reserved. Cover design and layout by Janara Jornor Photographs by Istock Photo No part of this ebook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording or by any information storage or retrieval system, without express permission in writing from the author, except where brief passages are quoted for the purposes of review. 1st Edition Published 2011 by Melanie Tonia Evans Australia Website: www.melanietoniaevans.com ISBN 987-0-9870724-7-4 First edition printed April 2011 Melanie Tonia Evans and How to Create Love The Secret Revealed are registered trademarks of Meltonia Enterprises Pty Ltd Australia.

Melanie Tonia Evans is neither a qualified psychologist nor a qualified counsellor and offers her insights and advice for guidance only.

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Contents Welcome to This eBook .......................................................................................................... 4 Healthy and unhealthy relationships ...................................................................................... 4 Taking responsibility............................................................................................................... 7 Relationship choices ............................................................................................................... 7 My story ................................................................................................................................. 9 The vibrational shift ............................................................................................................. 11 Consciousness ...................................................................................................................... 13 How I can help you ............................................................................................................... 15 First things first .................................................................................................................... 16 The Secret revealed.............................................................................................................. 18 How to work directly on your vibration ................................................................................ 20 The results of operating from logic ....................................................................................... 22 How to feel love instead of fear ........................................................................................... 25 What it means to be connected to True Self......................................................................... 26 The journey to True Self ....................................................................................................... 27 The Journey to Empowerment ............................................................................................. 29 Thank You! ........................................................................................................................... 29 Share the message ............................................................................................................... 30

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How to Create Love The Secret Revealed Welcome to this eBook, created to assist you in knowing the truth and how to create real love.

This eBook is definitely for you if you’ve struggled to attract and maintain a healthy love relationship. If that isn’t you – then please pass this eBook on to someone you know who can benefit! You may also enjoy reading some of the concepts I present in this eBook that apply not just to love relationships, but also to any area of your life you wish to improve.

Creating love is one of the greatest human challenges, if not the greatest of all. Some people seem to create love easily where as many, many people don’t….

We don’t have to look very far to realize there are very few relationships we envy. Healthy, happy and fulfilling relationships seem to be the minority rather than the majority. These disparaging statistics, however, don’t discourage many individuals’ desire to create and experience true love.

It’s what virtually all of us really want…

Healthy and unhealthy relationships As a starting point, it’s important to understand the several defining points which characterise healthy relationships. Unfortunately our forbears haven’t taught us these parameters, and in fact in regard to ‘love’ many of us have had to approach this topic with limited information and ‘hit and miss’ results. Some people have been fortunate enough to have great ‘love’ role models, and many more haven’t. We can all become more aware, and 4 | How to Create Love The Secret Revealed @ C o p y r i g h t

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help guide our children towards the essential understanding of what is or isn’t a healthy love model.

For a relationship to have a chance of being healthy the following realities are essential.

Both individuals:

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Have a decent level of emotional maturity (mature boundary function).

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Are willing to see the relationship as an ‘entity’ and will work on and contribute to the relationship.

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Sustain themselves with interests, friends and purpose.

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Honour each other’s non-critical differences.

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Apply and supply trust, respect and honesty.

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Have healthy self-esteem and are available to support each other’s self-esteem, rather than be threatened by it.

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Experience an enhancement of well-being as a result of the relationship.

Now let’s investigate the common characteristics of unhealthy relationships, whereby one or both partners:

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Has a lack of emotional maturity in the relationship, by having high level demands or insecurities expecting the other partner to ‘fix their feelings for them’ (narcissistic and co-dependent).

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See the relationship as a competition and is unwilling to work on the relationship as an entity; instead wanting the relationship to work primarily for their own needs (narcissistic).

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

Forgoes (or doesn’t have) their own life, mission and friends and expects the other person to fulfill those needs (co-dependent and narcissistic).

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Invades the space of the other person’s life, mission and friends and expects the other person to give these self-pursuits up for them (co-dependent and narcissistic).

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Does not respect the other person’s differences and tries to change that person in order to make themselves happy (narcissistic).

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Hang on to the relationship, because of a variety of insecurities, regardless of the pain, fights and damage that is being sustained (co-dependent).

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Endeavour to change their partner’s unacceptable behaviour in order to try to secure safety and happiness (co-dependent).

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Lacks the ability to uphold trust, respect and honesty (narcissistic).

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Suffers lowered self-esteem as a result of the relationship (co-dependent).

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Experiences diminished well-being and happiness as a result of the relationship (codependent).

Co-dependency is the state of giving until it hurts. Co-dependents are usually people of high integrity who try to fix other people’s poor behavior in order to receive the love, validation and approval that they haven’t as yet learnt to give to themselves. Co-dependents regularly attract and are attracted to narcissistic individuals, because they are highly susceptible to the glamour and veneer of a narcissist who initially appears to grant them all of the love and approval that they have struggled to know authentically for themselves.

Narcissists are individuals who have a depleted or non-existent sense of self. They operate in an ‘I win, you lose’ mentality in order to secure supply (attention) in order to feel omnipotent. Narcissists feel entitled to take, and will harvest others for their own selfabsorbed and insatiable needs. Co-dependents make the perfect target because they will give and give whilst remaining in the relationship and it is very easy for the narcissist to push through a co-dependent’s flimsy personal boundaries.

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If by now, you realise that your relationship, or past relationships have been unhealthy, you’ll hopefully understand that change needs to occur in order for you to experience real, safe and satisfying love.

Taking responsibility You probably realize what I’m going to say. Yes! The changes have to come from you!

When we’ve suffered unhealthy love, and we feel like it’s the other person’s fault and we’re looking at them to change, we’re stuck in an extremely powerless position.

Think about this for a moment: If I need you to be a certain way for me to feel okay about me – then I have to wait for you to change your behavior in order for this to occur. It’s simple to see how by doing this we hand all of our personal power over to someone else.

The truth is we can’t force another person to change into who we want them to be. They may not think they need to change, they may not have the resources to change, or they may resent the fact that we want them to change. They may feel controlled against their own will – which is very threatening for any human being.

You have to ‘change’ you, because essentially you are your only source of creating the real love relationship you wish to live. This is the real truth to embrace, and by making a commitment to yourself you can and will set yourself free, rather than remaining stuck in the same painful cycle of experiencing love that has not been real, safe and fulfilling.

Relationship choices Often the reason we don’t have a great relationship, or suffered a poor relationship in the past is because we entered the relationship through bad choices.

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Until we are aware this can be so easy to do. Attraction is compelling, as is the beliefs of love at first sight, or any other chemical emotional reaction we may have (including vulnerability and neediness) which leads us into a relationship without ascertaining whether or not the foundations of the relationship can and will be secure. For a genuine committed relationship to be real, the entity known as ‘the relationship’:



Has in place a verbal agreement which is backed by actions that state the relationship is committed and exclusive.

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Has movement towards a future with both parties genuinely wanting to build a life together, even if this is, of course, done at a respectful and sensible pace.

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Feels safe and real.

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Promotes both parties sharing time together, and comfortably spending time apart.

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Promotes both parties having the ability to discuss issues and work on the relationship respectfully and honestly.

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Provides the foundations for the relationship and both individuals to be valued.

In stark contrast, a non genuine and non-committed relationship:



Doesn’t have an agreement expressed and backed with actions that the relationship is exclusive and committed.

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Holds uncertainty for the future.

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Feels uneasy and emotionally unsafe.

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Time spent together is inconsistent or unreliable, and/or there’s a measure of discomfort, anxiety, fear and jealousy when time is spent apart.

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Fear, anxiety and insecurities emerge when discussing issues and attempting to work on the relationship.

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

Devalues the relationship and the individual wishing to have a committed, safe and healthy relationship.

My story I would like you to understand the reasons why I felt compelled to assist the healing and liberation of individuals who have suffered from disappointing love. You see, I myself, had a history of profoundly painful relationships. In fact my most toxic relationship brought me to my knees, and was so unhealthy that I hovered between life and death. From this place of powerlessness, brokenness, loss, grief, anger and total despair, I ended up having a complete breakdown.

I’m not alone in this painful love scenario. We’ve accepted as reality that relationships are our greatest source of joy as well as our greatest deliverer of pain. I know I once accepted this as my reality, and certainly my previous love experiences supplemented my belief that love could be wonderful but would inevitably result in loss and devastation.

When we suffer the loss of material things in our life it can be painful and even devastating, yet when we lose a love relationship and more significantly ourselves in that love relationship – it can feel like everything is lost, and at the time the experience of loss may be so painful that it feels like life is no longer worth living. Maybe you too have experienced these feelings, and I greatly empathise with you if you have!

Personally, it was from becoming an ‘empty shell’ and completely losing my self-respect, self-esteem and self-worth that I rebuilt myself and discovered the reasons why I was attracting, creating and participating in painful relationships. I had to take full responsibility that I was in fact in a toxic, unhealthy and abusive relationship whilst trying to change my partner’s behavior in an attempt to feel secure, loved and validated.

It seemed that he was the problem, and was the cause of my deterioration. The truth was I needed to realize that the love, validation and safety that he wasn’t providing me had always been the commodities that I had to learn to grant myself, and up until that point hadn’t.

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I didn’t just discover the logical reasons why my love relationships weren’t working, not by a long shot. In fact the most incredible gift of all, as a result of my breakdown and consequent breakthrough was:

I found myself, and I found a way to become aligned with a true relationship to myself and love. From this place I not only created an incredible peace and joy within, I also manifested the corresponding true love relationship of my dreams, with an aligned, compatible and emotionally healthy man who is my perfect match in every way possible.

Please understand I know exactly the place of confusion, loneliness, anxiety or despair where you may be now. I’ve been there totally. I know what it feels like to think about someone else’s loving relationship, when you don’t have one yourself. It may feel like real love is a million miles away.

I know what it was like to see couples together and think They get to have a loving and happy relationship. Why don’t I!? I used to muse, Maybe I’m just not meant to have a love relationship…..Maybe I’m cursed and not allowed to have one….or Maybe there is something so horribly wrong with me that it just doesn’t work. Maybe you can relate to having these thoughts too.

The love experience truly felt like despair for me. I felt like there was some cosmic powerful force holding me separated from love, no matter how hard I tried to break through. And try I did fervently. I got my hands on every piece of literature I could read; I saw counselors, psychologists and psychic readers and healers. I tried every method I could to break the curse and achieve my most heartfelt desire of being in a truly loving relationship. It was my biggest goal in life.

The truth was I had pretty much given up. I was resigned to Life is easier without a love partner and I was in that space of resignation when I met my narcissistic ex-partner. Even though I thought I was happy on my own, the truth was I was still miserable and lonely (I would never have admitted that at the time) and I used to fill my life with other things to stop the pain. When he came bursting into my life full of promise and declaring himself as the perfect match for me and my life, complete with all the accompanying charm and appropriate romance, I fell for his advances hook, line and sinker.

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Here I was in a relationship that initially appeared to be everything I had ever wanted, yet became the deliverer of pain that I never thought I would personally experience. This love relationship took me to depths that I always thought would happen to someone else – and certainly could never happen to me. You can read more about my Ex-Narcissistic relationship here.

Five years later I was a millimeter off being annihilated in every area of my life, and was again alone. I was back at square one, and at the time I thought not only was I again single, everything in life that I had worked for was smashed to pieces and lay as rubble at my feet. My horrible love omen had again come true, and in an even worse way than it ever had previously.

The vibrational shift Regardless of my love curse, and the horrific love disaster I suffered, for the first time ever I started working vibrationally on myself.

I’ll explain what I mean by ‘vibrationally’. This term means emotionally. Our emotions drive our life; they are the impulses that create our choices, behaviours and actions. Our emotions are the barometer reading of how we’re functioning in life. Our feelings supply vital personal feedback.

I was forced to do the work on myself vibrationally, because I wasn’t going to survive unless I got to the real truth about what was going on in relation to myself and love. I had to find a way to feel better – because the pain was unlivable. I sourced the answers to my deep core relationship predispositions, and this created the revelation to release my pain and fears out of my emotional body. Then I was able to finally feel a solid strength and peace within which eliminated the confusion, anguish and torment in my mind. The results were literally astounding!

One of my painful predispositions was that I was previously fearful of being persecuted. I was fearful of rejection and criticism that could come with someone thinking I wasn’t a good person. This fear inevitably was a direct match for attracting a man who would persecute and accuse me of being a bad person mercilessly. Once I did the vibrational shift work within 11 | How to Create Love The Secret Revealed @ C o p y r i g h t

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myself to validate my beliefs, there was absolutely no need to have someone else validate me as ‘a good person’, much less any individual who didn’t have the resources to.

Through the experience of healing my inner vibration on this topic, not only did I get to experience a freedom from the pain of my ex-narcissistic relationship, I also felt the freedom of living my truth in life regardless of what other people did or didn’t think of me.

When I accepted that it was me who I needed to work on and invested effort into my healing, real love fell into my lap so easily it was ridiculous! It was almost too easy. In fact the experience of attracting my present partner into my life was virtually effortless. I became what I wanted, and then true love came. I had released the needy part of myself that required a love partner to make me feel loved and worthy, and had learnt how to create authentic love and worthiness for myself.

In essence I attracted the match for the new improved version of myself, consciously. My new version of ‘me’ was validation, love, support and integrity for myself coupled with the desire to share my ‘fullness’ with a love partner, and then the mechanics of life could do nothing else but supply me myself (which is what life always does).

The journey of coming home to loving myself after having suffered intense self disintegration and total loss of self esteem, was the inspiration for my Book Breaking the Chains of Painful Love and the sequel workbook Take Back Your Power.

I wrote these books during my intense self recovery journey to promote the powerful message It Can Be Done, regardless of the level of painful love and devastation incurred. I knew that it was important to write my story, because my story was indeed many other people’s story as well.

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Consciousness Regardless of the conditioning and programming that life has delivered us, there is a better way, a way where love pain can be healed, and you can graduate in order to create true love. Relationship experiences were always intended to facilitate this, because ‘love’ is the greatest mirror of ourselves we can receive in order to connect to our truth, come home to ourselves and become who we truly are, which definitely is healthy love.

When we make it our mission to commit to ourselves we no longer live the painful results of life responding to our unconscious fearful programming, and instead get to live the glory of what we’re creating for ourselves at a deliberate level.

This requires consciousness.

Wikipedia explains consciousness as “a term that has been used to refer to a variety of aspects of the relationship between the mind and the world with which it interacts. It has been defined, at one time or another, as: subjective experience; awareness; the ability to experience feelings; wakefulness; having a sense of selfhood; or as the executive control system of the mind.”

My philosophy is this: Consciousness is the realisation that you are not merely a passenger in life, and that you are in fact the creator of it. Consciousness means you no longer believe that you aren’t responsible for your life, and that you’re prepared to take responsibility for it.

When I was unconscious it seemed my problems were caused by my love partner’s errors and dysfunctions. It seemed that he was the one damaged, broken and ‘wrong’. This was very true; however this essentially wasn’t my business. What was my business was: Why had I attracted, participated and stayed in a relationship that was clearly extremely damaging for me? From the previous perception of looking at him as the reason for my pain I was a long way away from taking responsibility, even to the level of accepting the fact: It was me who attracted him into my life and chose him.

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Even that level of responsibility wasn’t enough to really heal. A greater level of selfownership was necessary. When I took full responsibility I was able to ask the question What is it within me that is creating painful love partners and experiences in my life?

Waiting for someone else to get his or her act together is fruitless, and will never occur until you empower yourself. And even when you do empower yourself, you may discover that this person hasn’t stepped up to become a healthy love partner. If this is the case, you will have the strength, self-belief and resources to move on and create a love relationship with a person who is more suitable.

I once knew a man who previously was a substance abuser and addiction prone. For years his wife tolerated him drinking, gambling and taking drugs. She tried to take him to therapy and support him because she believed A good woman stands by her man. His addictions, poor behaviour and abuse to his wife and children continued.

Eventually she understood that she alone was responsible for creating her life, and took the stand that he had to leave, and the marriage was over. She knew he wasn’t a man who could supply her with safe, respectful love. As a result of her empowerment he stepped up, he changed. In fact he became a great man who now facilitates healing for other addicts. Even if he didn’t, she was aligned with her truth which was: I will only be with a man who is respectful, safe and healthy and would have created this reality with someone else because she was prepared to accept no less.

I relate, as do many other people who become conscious. As soon as I took responsibility without exception for my creation of unhealthy love, an enormous relief ensued. The reason was: I knew I was no longer a victim at the whim of life. As the creator of all of it, I now had the power to chose and create a new reality of love.

Suddenly I was in the driver’s seat…

If you have or are suffering painful love, this is where you need to be too.

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How I can help you I can show you the way through, and I can help you understand truly what is required to align yourself with love solidly, and for real. The transformation that you can experience for yourself is not a work of magic, or even a profound and miraculous event, it is simply you becoming the truth of what you wish to live, without your fear or pain sabotaging this progress. I know if I can reverse my versions of incredibly toxic love to become healthy love – You Can Too!

I found the answers, and the crazy thing was they were staring me in the face all along. As a result of finding the way, I now show others how to break free from painful love, and become glorious love. It’s a joyous journey, and once you commit to your journey of yourself to release there is no stopping you. The results are fast, and life and love just gets better and better. So far thousands of individual have accessed my solutions and have liberated their previous life and love pain, powerfully and in a very short space of time.

How does this journey begin? It begins by being willing to embrace and work through the emotional aspects of ourselves that aren’t serving us. Our inner fears and anxieties aren’t serving us because they keep creating our disappointing circumstances and they prevent us from breaking through to the realities we really want to experience.

One of the greatest problems we have as human beings is we’re afraid to confront the things that hurt us. We feel that if we stop, turn around and confront our fear and pain that it will be too much to bear. This is a total illusion. It’s the pain that we ignore, the unconscious love patterns and results that we’re not healing, which cause the pain and continue screaming at us trying to get our attention. The ‘screaming’ is a cry for the love, support and attention that we need to supply ourselves. I’m sure you know what it is like to attempt to avoid your pain, yet it remains and you don’t experience relief. Disowning it is not the answer.

When we do stop, turn around and give these patterns and fears our undivided and loving attention, relief is experienced immediately. When self-condemnation and fear is replaced by self-fascination and self-support we immediately gain answers, healing and trust for ourselves.

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My material and healing work creates:



The full responsibility to yourself in order to create your necessary changes, because the truth is that no-one can create the changes you want for you – it’s your job.



The release of the unconscious programming that is separating you from real love



The empowerment of yourself to create and know yourself as healthy love in order to receive it.

By doing so your painful past will no longer be your reality, because you will be able to feel and know what it is to naturally feel good, healthy and inspired about life – which will then create an attraction point of more of the same. This is the truth of how you can and are supposed to live!!

First things first… In order to lay the foundation for you in regard to what The Secret is, and before I tell you what The Secret is, it’s vital that you get your head around a core concept.

It’s this…

Logical cognitive therapy alone doesn’t work.

Please allow me to explain.

Many of us know what it’s like to see therapists, counselors and psychologists, or family and friends, and share all our problems, and we gain some short-lived confidence, yet we didn’t receive long-term and solid solutions that we can hold on to, apply and create a different life with.

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You may recall leaving a therapy session with some sense of direction, yet before long your questioning returns, the wondering how you’re going to do it, or whether or not it’s going to work. I know this is a consistent problem because it used to happen to me, and it’s a common thread amongst virtually every client upon initial contact. Their previous therapy has not brought them to a ‘solid’ solution and this why there is so much of going over the same ground repeatedly with very little progress.

Likewise the discussions we have within our own minds, when we’re in emotional distress (a definite symptom of love pain), often don’t provide clarity.

In short, the logical solutions we’re attempting to gain usually doesn’t feel true for us, because we still need to analyse, we’re still second guessing ourselves and our problems continue to feel like a struggle. This is why cognitive therapy is often ongoing with gradual impact at best.

In fact the more logical you are, the greater the emotional struggles you’ll have. If you are very ‘in your logical mind’ that’s going to work against you, and not for you. Many individuals get very frustrated and exclaim “I should know better I’m an intelligent person! Why is this happening to me?! Why do I keep doing this?!” Again you may relate. I know I certainly used to think and say those words.

I advocate infinite intelligence which is unlimited, rather than logical intelligence which is severely limited. Infinite intelligence is an expansive intelligence that incorporates all that is. It connects you to all information, knowing and resources of yourself and life. It is the state of working with life. It is feeling connected to abundance and plenty. Logical Intelligence is the state of feeling separated from life, and having to use your ego and wits to secure what you want. Logical Intelligence results in you being driven by fear, scarcity and lack.

When you haven’t as yet felt what it is to be connected and operating from Infinite Intelligence, this may sound far-fetched. You may feel that it is logically impossible to be at one with and connected to life, abundance and plenty when you have not logically experienced this reality yet. This truth needs to be experienced at a soul level, and until you experience this level your feelings of fear, anxiety and doubt will rule your life.

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Let me explain further.

Infinite Intelligence provides the knowing of how to be effortlessly empowered and at one with yourself and life, and how to become a true match without limits for all that you desire including love. Infinite intelligence understands yourself and your connection to life and other individuals from an expanded and ‘true’ perspective. Magnificently this is your most natural state, and when you come home to yourself you’ll wonder how on earth you operated any differently. In this mode of operation there is no fear, there is only pure connection to who you wish to be.

Logical Intelligence is the state of ‘being in your mind’ which is not aligned with your True Self (who you really are). In the logical state of mind there are doubts, fears and a myriad of confusions and resistances to your goal of healthy love. Your mind has processed data logically, has accessed it from a limited perspective and created a judgmental analysis which may seem very logically ‘correct’, yet will only attract whatever it is that you’re ‘judging’ into your life. This is vibrationally discordant with creating healthy love experiences. Why? Because your logical analysis has created feelings of fear and doubt which is not a match for what you wish to create, and in fact is energetically manifesting the exact opposite results.

The Secret revealed You now have the understanding to embrace the truth of what I’m about to tell you…

Your logical mind doesn’t have the power to shift your consciousness. Because of how you’re designed as a human being it can’t achieve this task. Your logical mind is limited and has far too much memory of pain and fear to be able to line you up with where you want to go – this is why you have ongoing doubts, uneasiness and anxiety around painful love situations when your logical mind is involved.

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Understandably love is a topic which we can create a lot of pain, fear and judgment around, and if we’re attempting to create new and positive love experiences with only logical intelligence we inevitably complicate our issues horribly! Our pain of the past and fears of the future pollute our vibration, and no matter how hard we try to think in positive ways the torturous love disappointments, heart breaks and emotional devastations we’ve suffered, and are fearful of re-living, completely distort our ability to align with real love.

There is a better way to work on ourselves in order to get love right. Let me show you how.

The way to make solid and real changes in yourself, in order to align yourself with what you want to create in life, is to make the changes vibrationally. This means that you have to feel the feelings of healthy and safe love in order to create it in your experience.

Can you imagine how powerful it is to feel and know that what you want is your truth, that you’re aligned with it, and feel without any shadow of a doubt that it is ready to appear as reality into your experience. I absolutely had this knowing just before I met my wonderful partner. I felt though every cell of my body what it was to know and be safe, healthy and supportive love.

I could feel his presence just before I met him physically. Was this a fluke? Was it some miraculous psychic premonition? No! It was my conscious manifestation that occurred as a result of working on myself vibrationally.

I became a vibrational match for the manifestation I wanted to create (feeling and knowing it powerfully) and ‘life’ had no option other than to choose the most perfect match to my vibration and deliver him into my reality.

That’s all that life ever does….

Therefore:

If you are a vibration of loneliness and pain – life delivers more of that 19 | How to Create Love The Secret Revealed @ C o p y r i g h t

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If you are a vibration of the fear of being hurt in love – life delivers that, or If you are a vibrational knowing of real and healthy love – life delivers that…

In fact life is always unconditionally loving and supporting you so much that you will be delivered your vibration – without exception always…

Your mission is to match yourself up vibrationally with what you want to experience – and then you will get to experience it.

Not only will you attract what you want into your life, you’ll also receive all of the cues, inspirations, signposts, connections and synchronicities to help you along the way…

In identical fashion you can align perfectly with ‘what you don’t want’ if you’re vibrating at a ‘less than’ level. This is why you can powerfully be attracted to, and receive incredible synchronicities, events and coincidences that seem so ‘right’ around a love partner who ends up being ‘so wrong’.

Life was simply and lovingly delivering all of the available resources from life that would help create the match for your vibration!

How to work directly on your vibration

Do you know the difference between thinking something and knowing something? Because this difference is the biggest key in creating a love relationship from the inside out that will work.

Think about the things in your life that you just know. This could be you just know you’re a great cook, or you just know you’re good at your work, or you just know you’re a loving parent and your children love and respect you.

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The things you just know work out easily in your life. You manifest the exact results of your own knowing, and if you have a hiccup or someone challenges you with their opinion, it truly doesn’t matter much because you’re quite simply aligned with your truth on these topics. These topics feel good, natural and easy. They just are.

Knowing is a feeling. Knowing is not something you do in your mind, because if you had to do it in your mind, you would be trying to convince yourself something that you already know. There is no need to rationalise anything you just know, in fact it’s a waste of energy and time. Rather than analysing with thoughts such as: Can I do this? Will it work? and What if this goes wrong?, you just simply get on with the being and doing of what it is that you know.

When you think about certain areas where you’ve struggled, you may admit feeling it has always been a struggle. In fact in some cases you may feel you’ve never known how to effectively ‘do’ what feels difficult to do. I know I always felt anxiety and stress around relationships, and it wasn’t until I did work on myself vibrationally that I knew any different, regardless of the years of information or therapy that I sourced, or the role models that I tried to emulate.

Once I worked on getting my fears and resistances out of the way, I wasn’t attracting and creating those any more. I achieved this primarily through Quanta Freedom Healing and reminding myself of the truth of life. Then I naturally and easily knew how to be healthy, safe, at peace, inspired, happy and loving. Once if felt these things within myself, they became reality in my life. All of the answers and processes I created for myself (and now share with others) provided me the ability to feel aligned.

Maybe you have always struggled with knowing how to feel solid in a love relationship? Perhaps you were born into a family who weren’t aligned with this knowing. Maybe up until now you’ve been living only with the experience of knowing confusion, pain and struggle with love, and certainly not the feelings of love being easy, flowing and natural. Maybe like my previous self, this lack of knowing is why you’ve struggled to get love right. Like my previous self, maybe your love experiences haven’t improved regardless of the information you’ve read of received from outside sources.

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The results of operating from logic When we try to think something without having knowing we can run into extremely difficult problems. Our emotions feel strained and confused, and our mind tries to make us think differently in order to fix the fear. Instantly we are battling ourselves.

Our mind is not definitive and it’s not solid. It questions and consults memories, fears and ‘less than’ thoughts about the painful love that it has already suffered, and adds to the pains and fears we’re already suffering emotionally.

When attempting logical solutions we will inevitably ‘beat ourselves up’ and damage our own self-worth further because we’re not getting better. You would have at one time or another (just like I used to) thought ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘Why aren’t I getting it?’, and ‘I’m hopeless, stupid and no good?’ or ‘I’m not getting love right because I must be unlovable. WHO on earth could love ME?!’

Our logic from a state of fear and confusion is trying to mange an inner emotional vibration of our fears. It takes a strong mind to affect the emotions positively, and if it does succeed there’ll only ever be management of the emotions, yet the true inner vibration (feeling) has never been directly addressed. The mind is not knowing, and it can’t create your emotional knowing.

The truth is your mind will only settle down when you’ve achieved knowing. Then, and only then will your mind cease its confusion. You know what knowing feels like. It feels solid and sorted. It just is. It’s important that you realize that you do have the ability to align yourself vibrationally into the solid knowing of anything that you desire in your life – including love!

In the state of not knowing how to feel safe, aligned and a match (anxiety free) with healthy love, it’s very easy to look to the outside world and try to get other people to provide us with the knowing instead of establishing it within.

We want someone on the outside to provide a different experience from the ones we have lived, so that we can know what it is to have a safe, loving and healthy relationship. This is 22 | How to Create Love The Secret Revealed @ C o p y r i g h t

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what so many people hope will happen in order to heal painful love. This equates to ‘When someone loves me enough I will heal and know what love is’. I know that was the game I wanted to play – and one that our logical mind creates incorrectly as the necessary answer.

This is a false solution.

We have to see it to believe it the mind declares! This is always self-defeating and totally vibrationally impossible, because as the total creator of your experience, life and other people can only respond to your vibration on any particular topic. Your outer experience will only ever be a direct match of YOUR vibration.

Your feelings attached to any part of your life are the absolute match of what life will deliver – without exception. If you waiting to ‘see’ love before you believe it, then you don’t believe in love, and life will only deliver you more ‘disbelief’ of love.

The Ultimate Reality is: if you don’t know it then life can’t deliver it to you.

It’s important to recognize and accept: No amount of thinking is going to grant you the love result you seek. This is why you may feel the frustration like I used to, which was: I’m sick to death of all this personal development, and why don’t I get to experience the love relationship that I want?! How much MORE work do I have to do on myself?!

There are two opposite ends of the spectrum you may undertake as an attempt to get yourself aligned with love.

They are:

1) Management of your fearful love vibration through the mind, or 2) Creating your vibrational shift into your True Self knowing of love.

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The first approach is not authentic. It’s a struggle and success if any will take an extended period of time.

This is the playing out of the belief

“My healing is a painful journey – and a long one.”

The true model of healing is instantaneous, because it cuts out all fear, doubt, resistance, anxiety and simply delivers you to ‘how you really are’ at True Self level, which means you become the ease and grace of knowing the connection to who you want to be and what you want to create in love.

This is the alignment with the belief

“I already am my True Self, and in order to know that all I have to do is lose the resistance that is getting in the way of me being aligned.”

The first technique doesn’t improve your life or bring you happiness. The second technique does.

Likewise there are two ways to manifest anything in your life, including a healthy and satisfying love relationship with yourself and an intimate partner and they are:

1) Attempting it though your logical mind 2) Aligning with your truth via your Infinite Intelligence

Connecting to your Infinite Intelligence is clearly the most authentic, direct and natural solution.

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How to feel love instead of fear When you’re looking to the outside for your answers your emotional body knows it’s unsafe and powerless to create change. You’re burning fuel on things outside of you, things which are not you, and which you have no control over. It’s easy to see this creates frustration and fear. By holding people and situations that you have no control over responsible for your well-being, you can’t create positive change or real love. This state feels emotionally terrible because it’s not the truth of who you really are.

When you come home to yourself your emotional body heaves a sigh of relief. Phew finally I’ve finally come home to where it’s all REALLY going on. NOW I can become and create real love! This means that you are no longer reliant on a certain individual supplying you love; you are the creator of it, because you now love yourself completely. Now you can attract and maintain real love from someone who is a match for your truth.

You will feel this emotional relief and empowerment, and you’ll know absolutely what I mean by this when you align with your true power….

It’s not a hard process, in fact it’s easy and feels incredibly natural. The Truth has a way of feeling like this! Once you access the truth about yourself, you’ll release one by one the fearful illusions of your mind which have separated you from the love you wish to claim.

Once the mind toxicity is released, you’ll experience alignment with what it is you really want – truth, love and authenticity. Why? Because you’ve become your True Self, which are these things.

Then the toxicity on the outside will no longer exist.

Then you’ll understand the ‘outside’ has always been an extension of you.

When you become aligned with truth, anything or anyone that isn’t your truth will either shift up to meet your vibration, or shift out to make way for what and who is, and you’ll be 25 | How to Create Love The Secret Revealed @ C o p y r i g h t

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able to observe and allow this process consciously and lovingly, and let go of what and who no longer is your truth without fear.

What it means to be connected to True Self When you know you are love – you no longer need others to love you.

When you know you are truth – you no longer need other people to supply you with it.

When you know you are self-respect – you no longer need other people to grant you it.

When you know you are self-belief – you no longer need other people to believe in you.

When you know you are whole – you simply attract more of the wholeness of who you already are.

When you are what you seek, you lose your neediness. No longer will you attract and hang on to ‘less than’ relationships trying to change someone else’s behavior to try to make them the person who will supply your happiness.

You will know you already are happiness and love, and therefore have no need to attract and play with inferior games and pain anymore. You’ll keep walking forward and leave the past painful love patterns behind. It’s like having no need to play with toys you’ve outgrown, and you’ll participate in only the matches of what and who is your vibration.

Then you have the freedom to create a healthy relationship, rather than a painful one.

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The Journey to True Self The journey that you can now embark on is a direct pathway to becoming your Infinite Intelligence. This is your place of knowing. Within you, truly is already the knowing of safe, healthy and real love, because at True Self level you already are these things. There is nothing you need to learn or become – because at True Self level you’re already home. All that is necessary is to clear away the false beliefs, fears and illusions that have kept you separated from your own truth.

My most tormented clients understandably are individuals who have been damaged as a result of narcissistic abuse. These people feel like empty shells; they have severely diminished self-esteem, self-belief and can’t even begin to imagine in their wildest dreams that they have a complete and incredible True Self who is powerful and whole.

These people are living the vibrational reality of the complete opposite of who they really are. Instead of knowing themselves as inspiration, love, creation, fullness and empowerment they feel insidiously wracked and polluted with fear, loss, stagnation, emptiness and powerlessness.

When these people experience the vibrational shift they release their ‘less than’ illusions, and they come back to the feeling and knowing of who they really are – without exception. Once they feel it, they know it, and so it is. Then all of their experience in life begins to reflect more of that. Then these people no longer play with the elements, people and situations in life that represent ‘less than that’.

There is no need to anymore…

Despite how damaged these people were, and how much they lost themselves, they do totally repair, heal and become more empowered than they ever were, way before their abusive breakdowns.

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Sometimes this entire 180 degree shift takes only a matter of weeks. The truth has a way of setting you free – and it can do it fast! You can read about the results people have experienced from these shifts at about Melanie.

Becoming aligned with your vibration means letting go of the illusion: Painful things are happening to me from the outside. In reality there is no ‘out there’ (people doing it to you), as you are the total creator of your experience without exception. There is only ‘in there’ (you doing it to yourself) which means you are not a victim.

By accepting this Ultimate Reality, you can stop trying to painfully control, change and fix your outer world, and instead shift into a healthy vibration in your inner world.

By doing so your outer world (which is merely and magnificently an extension of you) will change as if by magic.

As soon as your emotional body starts receiving these vibrational shifts into knowing you will begin to feel relief, empowerment, confidence and joy. Your emotional body knows the difference, and automatically responds with feelings of safety, solidness, freedom and truth.

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The Journey to Empowerment I know how much my life has changed as a result of finding and applying the truth, and I want to share how to heal authentically with you. So far the results of my mission and passion have changed and saved my own life and other people’s emotionally and literally. It is a needless waste of life, love and happiness when any of us live painful experiences, because it is not the truth of what we can and should be living.

I have created a healing system called Melanie’s Journey to Empowerment because I am passionate about helping people become who they truly are.

My Journey to Empowerment provides you with the step-by-step formula to clearly identify your painful beliefs and vibrations, and then grants you the solutions to become your True Self.

Thank You! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this eBook. I am truly appreciative that you have, because I know that the more people who understand the Truth, the more we can all raise the consciousness of ourselves, the people that we come into contact with, and ultimately humanity.

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Share the message Our world requires a shift on a personal and a collective level to learn how to love effectively, so that more individuals can come together to create healthy relationships.

If the truth isn’t embraced, trying to get love instead of becoming love will continue to create pain, heartbreak and the destruction of relationships and future generations. You have the ability to become love, and provide yourself with the great life that is your birthright, and you can make a difference by providing other people with the knowledge that grants them the same opportunity.

We all have a responsibility to clean up our vibration and become role models for our children, family and the people’s lives we touch – inspiring them to also step up to become their True Selves. Not only do we know we’re taking part in a vital movement, we’re also creating healthier individuals to share the journey of life with – making our own life experience more pleasurable. This truly is win – win.

This knowledge has the potential to create an invaluable shift of consciousness within society and the world.

You can make a difference by passing on this eBook and its message to family, friends and associates.

Much Love

Melanie Tonia Evans www.melanietoniaevans.com

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