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Create

in your Work and Life

A collection of articles provided by Melanie Wass, Natural Consulting.

Hi there Thanks for downloading this book. Success leaves clues. This electronic book is a compilation of my own and others articles. Each one will give you clues to follow to create success in your life and work. It is designed to give you a little inspiration to take some action to make improvements in areas of your life or work that you’d like to focus on. I’ve put a one page action plan together for you to complete, so, as you go through the articles, jot down things you can do differently in future and then put a timeframe on each one. Let me know how it works for you. Best regards Melanie

7 Keys to Starting a New Job 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Make an impression -

dress well, be on time, be friendly

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be organised, plan your day, collect names, numbers and emails

Connect -

bond with your colleagues

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ask for help

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remember names

Project Confidence -

read and understand your job role

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know the business, company, organisation

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add personal items to your workspace

Build Your Reputation -

first focus on your manner and appearance

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then your work style and performance

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be honest, reliable, consistent

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resist criticising and cynicism

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try to understand your boss‘s agenda and meet it

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with colleagues, smile and be cheerful, listen, avoid impulsiveness, be open-minded

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monitor your emotional intelligence

Watch politics

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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6.

7.

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use open communication, communicate decisions and reasons for them, communicate news asap

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judge people fairly and objectively, look at their achievements and results

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avoid political behaviour eg rewarding or promoting ‗yes‘ behaviours

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watch, learn and assimilate

Stand Out -

do something that gets you noticed

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eg save expenses or increase revenue

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eg improve efficiency

Consolidate -

be clear on your expectations

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under promise and over deliver

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keep assessing your own performance

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join in on events

Melanie Wass is a professional trainer and coach, working in corporate and individual development.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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Create a dynamic first 100 days Congratulations! You‘ve won that promotion. If you thought it was over at the interview, you‘re wrong. You‘re being watched, monitored and assessed to make sure that the decision that was made to appoint you was the right one. Here are key actions you need to take to make sure you deliver and ensure others remain confident in you and your ability to do the job. Key points

Before you make quick decisions, make a good diagnosis first Follow your instincts Take notes, set priorities, and then act Focus on three things – people, strategy, values Things to do

Assess your team, make changes in the first 30 days to help change the culture and create urgency. Check performance records, do personal interviews. Find out if they know and understand what the team/organisational vulnerabilities and opportunities are, what extra skills do they need and how quickly can they acquire it? Communicate your vision and make sure they know how you‘ll get there. Convey basic values that framework future decisions. Answer questions honestly, don‘t promise miracles. Be clear about your management style, how you‘ll treat others and how they should treat you. Meet staff and ask them what the team should be doing, what works for them and what do they need. Meet the clients and find out the current performance, their business needs, who else they use.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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Pay attention to personal habits as they project eg how you arrive, how you greet people, how thoroughly you prepare, your time management. Identify 1-2 areas to change and do this quickly. Identify quick hits. Manage your boss‘s expectations. Craft a master plan for all communications, set expectations, inform re risks and how addressing. Get a grip on

What you are expected to contribute Whether you are expected to be passive in the role Meeting other managers and directors Obtain a briefing on the company, its history and strategy Know what the major drivers of performance and key performance indicators are Get a SWOT analysis or create one as you go Background/resume of other team members (and your boss‘s if you can) Learn the relationships and roles within the team Work out who the key suppliers and clients are Learn if there are any key legal issues past or present Are there any issues with compliance or regulations which you need to be aware of? Keep a record of your performance and any obstacles. Raise issues with the right people early rather than hoping for the best. Measure your achievements and results. Focus on the mantra ―They made the right decision and I‘m proving it‖. If you are unsure, get some counsel and advice early – the honeymoon period is when people are most open to being supportive. Do these things and you can sail into the future with confidence. Melanie Wass. Copyright 2007.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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7 Simple Ways To Simplify Your Work For many of us, a considerable amount of our week is spent at work. That time flows so much easier (and more enjoyably) when we are able to slow down, reassess, and energise ourselves! Below are seven simple ways to simplify your life at work. 1. Only have on your desktop what you use at least once each day. Everything else should be in drawers, on shelves, or located elsewhere. 2. Take frequent breaks. You‘ll be surprised at how simply stepping away from a project for a moment can increase your clarity and concentration. 3. Reflect on and record your career goals. They will be much easier to reach if you have developed a clear plan. 4. Try to work on only one project at a time. The power of focus cannot be overstated! 5. Learn effective ways to handle interruptions. If you are interrupted, either by phone or in person, respond with a statement such as, ―I only have five minutes right now – what can I help you with the most?‖ 6. Schedule ―administrative time‖ into your daily routine. Use this time to catch up on mail and email, return phone calls, and similar tasks. (Hint: schedule this during your low-energy time of day.) 7. Delegate whenever possible. Too many people inaccurately believe they are the only ones who can handle a task. Believe in others, and in your ability to guide them appropriately.

Copyright © 2004 MAP Professional Development, Inc. All Rights Reserved www.meaningand-purpose.com

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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25 Ways to “Create” More Time ―If I only had more time, I would…‖ How do you finish that statement? What would you do if you just had more time? It‘s true, we all have 24 hours each day – we can‘t carry hours over to the next day or somehow live a 26-hour day. And although we can‘t add hours to the day, we can choose to use our time more wisely. By eliminating unnecessary or draining activities from our schedules, shifting our priorities and re-evaluating what‘s worth our precious time, we can ensure that we have enough time to do what we love. Here are 25 ways you can essentially ―create‖ more time in your schedule, and give yourself the gift of time! 1. Avoid high-traffic times of day to visit the bank, buy groceries, or conduct other routine errands. 2. Turn off the t.v. Try it for a week and see how many other activities you enjoy instead! 3. Plan ahead. Run all your errands in one big loop rather than making several trips back and forth. 4. Organise your space to increase your productivity and enhance your well-being. 5. Determine what is high-maintenance in your life and simplify. This might be your cooking system, your commute, even your hairstyle.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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6. Schedule appointments with yourself on a regular basis, and honor them like you would any other appointment. Ideally, your daily schedule should include some quiet, focused time just for you. 7. Increase your fees or negotiate a raise. This will allow you to work fewer hours without compromising your financial health. 8. Identify and eliminate “time zappers”, or those things that take more of your time than you expect (sometimes without you even realising it!). 9. Group tasks. Return all phone calls at 10am and 4pm, check emails at two designated times during the day, and so forth. 10. Create a standard grocery list. Keep a printout on your refrigerator at all times, and when you run out of an item, simply circle it on your list. Then when it‘s time to run to the store, you can grab your list and go rather than spend time thinking up and writing down each item. 11. Schedule doctor and dentist appointments for first thing in the morning. You won‘t have to wait long nor risk delays. 12. End your email messages with ―no reply necessary‖ to avoid unneeded responses. 13. Catch some zzzz’s. If you‘re exhausted you‘ll need to re-do things, you‘ll second-guess yourself, and you‘ll just move more slowly than if you are well rested. 14. Delegate. Share responsibilities with others in your office and in your home. You don‘t have to do it all! 15. Finish what you start. Whenever possible, don‘t leave a project dangling – that requires you to pick up where you left off, try to get back into that ―mode,‖ and backtrack. 16. Turn on your answering machine. In most cases, you do not need to answer every single call that comes in. Screening your calls is fine!

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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17. Pay attention to your body. Are you a morning person? Use that time for your high-energy, high-creativity, high concentration activities. Save the routine tasks for later in the day when your energy level drops. 18. Avoid overextending yourself. Filling your schedule too tightly or promising more than you can deliver robs you of time and causes your body stress. Be realistic when planning your days. 19. Leave detailed messages on others‘ voicemail so when they return your call, they‘ll have the information you need available. Encourage others to leave you detailed voicemails as well by requesting this in your greeting. 20. Remember the big picture. Don‘t get lost in busy-work and minutia. Remember – just because you‘re moving doesn‘t necessarily mean you‘re getting anywhere 21. Clearly define your priorities. Make sure your time is being spent where you want it to! 22. Practice assertiveness skills. Learn to say ―no,‖ and do so often. 23. Develop crystal clear goals. Make sure you know the direction you want to be moving, so all your activity pushes you closer to your goal. 24. Make use of your commute time. Use the drive or ride to work to listen to books on tape, visualise the wonderful day you are about to have (or just had), or meditate. 25. Give yourself a break! Step away from the computer at least twice an hour, do some mild exercises in the midst of a project, grab a drink of water. You‘ll refresh your mind and body! I‘m working to improve my methods, and every hour I save is an hour added to my life. – Ayn Rand Copyright © 2004 MAP Professional Development, Inc. All Rights Reserved www.meaningand-purpose.com

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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10 Things You Can Do To Produce A Quantum Leap In Your Life Fast We often hear of small actions that can make a dramatic impact on our lives. Here are ten such things which, if done with determination, will produce a revolution for you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially! 1. Drink Pure Water

Our bodies are 70% water. Drinking impure water is responsible for many illnesses commonly attributed to other causes. Therefore, you should seriously consider installing a quality water filtration or distillation system. In addition, most people go through life dehydrated. Simply drinking when you are thirsty is not enough. Moreover, tea and coffee actually dehydrate the body even further thereby making the problem worse still. Dehydration also leads to many serious illnesses. You need to drink at least 8-12 glasses of clear water every day, and preferably more. 2. Regular Exercise

Exercise can slow down, and even partially reverse, the aging process. You will suffer from fewer illnesses and have far more energy to enjoy all day long. Best of all, exercise is something you can take up and benefit from at any age. Yoga is excellent because it tones your inner organs as well as gently stretching and strengthening your muscles. Even simply walking for 15-20 minutes every day could be extremely beneficial. Consult your doctor regarding your current state of health and advice on suitable forms of exercise for you. 3. Meditation

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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Regular meditators often have a biological age 10-20 years younger than their chronological age! You will also be far more centered all day, more aware of your emotions, and far better able to cope with any challenge life can throw at you. Simply sitting in a quiet place alone, closing your eyes, and following the passage of your breath as it moves in and out is a superb meditation. However, you can easily find others that can benefit and enrich your life deeply. Meditation will make you a kinder, gentler, and more patient person. It will help you to appreciate life more. 4. Forgiveness

Grudges take up brain capacity and prevent us from performing at our very best. What we focus our minds upon grows; this is true of hatred too. Therefore, it is impossible to truly achieve great things for ourselves when we have a lot of our energetic capacity tied up in negativity. Remember that forgiveness is primarily for YOU. It free up your energy tremendously. So forgive all grudges, no matter how old they may be, and seek reconciliation. If you find this hard, begin with the easiest ones first. Then gradually work up to the harder ones. 5. Clutter Clearance

If you want to let new opportunities into your life, you have to make room for them. Clear out the past - things you cling to that no longer serve any purpose, but which hold you back. This can be cupboards, the cellar, old clothes, old relationships, and outmoded ways of thinking. By holding on tenaciously to the past, we fail to make room for the future. So look in your closets and get rid of things you have not used for over a year or two. Review relationships in your life and see which ones are taking you where you want to go and which ones are holding you down. Clear your desk. Clear your computer. Then let fresh air flow into your life! 6. Clear All Financial Debt & Invest

If owing nobody a cent is just a dream for you, start working today to make that dream a reality. Save 10% of your income each month to be applied towards reducing and clearing your debts.

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Financial debt is one of the biggest causes of worry ever. Yet almost anyone can save 10% of their income if they put their minds to it. Do it consistently to learn the habit, and soon you'll be saving 20%. Once you've applied this to your debts, and have NO debts at all, you can't imagine how free you will feel! 7. Relationships

Almost everything we want in life will be obtained through other people. Moreover, relationships skills are amongst the most important and most desired in life. They easily more than make up for deficiencies in other areas of expertise. People who get on well with others rise faster than those who are merely good at their jobs. They are the last people to be fired; if they are, they find it extremely easy to pick up a great job elsewhere. Hence, it is vital to learn to relate excellently to others. If you are not good in this area, all your other efforts could go for nothing. Therefore, study hard in his subject and apply the lessons you learn. Become excellent at relating to people. 8. Goals

Have clear, specific, written goals with deadlines for their achievement in every area of your life - physical, mental, emotional, physical, career, etc. People who do are FAR more successful. People who don't are like ships adrift on the seas. A person without clear specific goals is like a ship cast adrift on the ocean without a captain or crew. The chances of it arriving anywhere specific are minimal. Yet most people live their lives like that. Make it your goal to have specific written goals in every area of your life and review them every day. 9. Daily Planning

For maximum productivity, plan each day in advance with a scheduler. Use a "To Do" list to plan what you need to get done. Prioritise these tasks in order of importance. You can rank urgent tasks as "A". Important, but not urgent, tasks as "B". Nice to do but neither urgent nor important activities as "C". Unimportant tasks as "D". Work on the category "A" tasks first until you have them all done and then work on the category "B" tasks. Delegate or throw out category "D" activities. Develop the habit of accounting for every half hour of your time. This is what many highly successful people do.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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10. Journal

A life worth living is a life worth recording. Keep a private journal where you can record events, your reactions to them, how you feel about situations, what you are learning. Keeping a journal awakens your intuition and deepens your contact with Spirit. Copyright © 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved. Dr. Asoka Selvarajah is an active writer/researcher on personal development and esoteric spirituality. Asoka's work helps people achieve their full potential.

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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Seven Clues To Help You Get Started “The future belong to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Learning your own unique pattern of interests, motivation, satisfaction and meaning is an important first step in career development. Completing the following printable worksheet and bringing it to an individual appointment with a peer counselor or career counselor can help you focus on what‘s most important to you. What activities fascinate and absorb you? If you had three lifetimes, what dream jobs attract you? What do you naturally do well? If you won the lottery, what might you do (after initial celebration, travel, etc.)? What local, societal, or world issues interest you? What is the most gratifying thing you ever did? What experiences turned out to be most dissatisfying to you? If you knew you couldn‘t fail, what might you most like to do?‖ Adapted from Stanford Career Development Center

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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Finding your Life Purpose Did you know that only 1% of the population are living out their life purpose? Life Purpose is not something that many people think about or even could describe but it can be one of the most important aspects of life to clarify. Many seek to find fulfilment and success in a variety of different areas. Life purpose seeks to bring all those areas together. If you cannot say you are giving yourself to something big in your life, you may be missing out on living in line with your life purpose. Another sign may be if you are feeling unfulfilled in your work or parts of your life. What are the benefits of finding your life purpose? 1.

It will be compass to direct you in the right path Life purpose allows you to decide which opportunities to take up and which to decline. It becomes like a compass that can help you assess your options. Without that you can be tempted to take up opportunities that may ultimately not lead to fulfilment.

2. With a Life Purpose you can make a significant contribution to mankind

Because you will be tuning into your gifting and passion you will be carrying out what you were designed to do on this earth. No one else can do what you were created to do and so mankind will be a better place if you live this out fully. 3.

Living out your Life Purpose creates energy and passion

Have you heard the expression, find a job you love and you will never do a days work in your life? Why is that? Because when you tap into your purpose and passion you are working in alignment with your unique gifting and as such you are not worn down by working in conflict with those.

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4. Confidence grows when you know and walk in your Life Purpose

There is a higher chance that you will achieve greater results when you work out your life purpose and as a result your confidence will grow. 5.

It will bring greater health

It stands to reason that when you are happy, fulfilled and working in your strengths you will naturally be less stressed and likely to have much greater health. 6.

It brings meaning to life

Without a purpose, goals can be meaningless. With a purpose our goals can be aligned and we can feel that they are worth our time and energy. With meaning in our lives, we can then have the motivation to overcome difficult times and build in resilience. It allows us to have perspective in our lives. So how do you find your Life Purpose? 1.

Get a clear understanding of your passions/ values

Your values are those things you are naturally inclined towards when your needs are fully met. They are more than ―wants‖; they represent what you are truly passionate about. Begin to develop some words that sum up what contribution you want to make and to whom. This can be the beginning of a Life Purpose Statement. Some of these questions may help? What do you love to do whether in your spare time or at work? What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughly enjoy? What do you naturally do well? What are your ten greatest successes to date? Is there a cause that you feel passionate about? What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life? Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurred over and over for you? What do you daydream about doing?

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What things do you want to be remembered for? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? 2. You will find your life purpose when you find the crossover of your unique desires/strengths and a human need

Knowing your strengths and passion is not a life purpose until you are able to match it with some human need. Consider the areas you are passionate about. Try to be as specific as possible. 3.

Understand the blockages

Fear, failure, thinking is it only for a few and viewing the cost as too high, are a few of the blocks that can get in the way. Identifying your blockage can be useful to stop you sabotaging your behaviour on your journey. If you‘re committed to finding your life purpose, then I take some steps now to move yourself forward and build in some accountability.

Source:

Jane Johnson

aspectcoaching.com

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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How do you become a star at work? In other fields, there’s very little doubt over what it takes to be a star. But do you know what it takes to be one at work? Robert E. Kelley has the answer. BY ALAN M. WEBBER First appeared: FC15, p.114 © All rights reserved. Fast Company, LLC ¥ Visit: http://www.fastcompany.com/learning

For more than a decade, Robert E. Kelley has tried to answer that question, conducting in-depth research at such companies as AT&T‘s Bell Labs, 3M, and Hewlett-Packard. How do average performers differ from stars? Are stars just smarter? Or more selfconfident? Or better at interpersonal and leadership skills? The answer, says Kelley, is none of the above: ―It isn‘t what stars have in their heads that makes them stand out. It‘s how they use what they have.‖ In How to Be a Star at Work: Nine Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed ( Times Books, 1998 ), Kelley details his research and offers a blueprint to help average performers lift themselves into the realm of the stars. ―Most people know that they have a star within them,‖ he says, ―but for some reason, it hasn‘t clicked. They see other people getting ahead, people with roughly the same talent as they have - and these other people are on a faster track. Most people genuinely want to be more productive, do their best, and live up to their potential, but they don‘t know how to do it.‖ Kelley is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University‘s Graduate School of Industrial Administration and the president of Consultants to Executives and Organisations Ltd. His previous books include The Gold-Collar Worker: Harnessing the Brainpower of the New Workforce (Addison-Wesley, 1985) and The Power of Followership: How to Create Leaders People Want to Follow and Followers Who Lead Themselves (Currency/Doubleday, 1992). Fast Company

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found Kelley at his home in Pittsburgh and asked him to describe what it takes to be a star at work. Is your star on the back of your T-shirt?

My colleagues and I spent more than 10 years trying to find a valid, objective measure that we can apply to all people – or even to everybody in the same kind of job, or everybody in the same company. It‘s almost impossible: No two jobs are alike, no two companies are alike. So we gave up on finding one metric that everyone can agree on. Instead, we developed a definition like the one sometimes used for ―pornography‖: Nobody can tell you how to measure it, but everybody knows it when they see it. Everyone is an armchair expert. Everyone has an opinion. And everyone is more than willing to dispense that advice to anyone else who will listen. So we collected all of those opinions: There are roughly 45 beliefs that people use to explain why some people are stars. A lot of people chalk it up to raw intelligence: Stars are smarter. Another set of explanations emphasises social skills: Stars are born leaders. And then we heard personality explanations: Stars are driven, they have the will to succeed, they‘re self-confident, they‘re self-motivated. We also researched explanations that stress environmental factors: Becoming a star is all about having the right job or the right boss. We spent two years putting all of these beliefs to the test. We put stars and average performers in rooms and gave them IQ tests. We gave them personality tests. We measured their attitudes about whether they liked their jobs, their bosses, their companies. After two years, we came up with the results: None of these factors distinguished the stars from the average performers! We finally developed our ―back of the T-shirt‖ theory. Your IQ, your personality, your social skills, even things like where you went to school - that‘s all on the front of your T-shirt. Think of all that as your potential energy. But the important thing is how you transform potential energy into kinetic energy. That‘s on the back of your T-shirt. If you want to know if someone is a star, or is

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going to become a star, focus on what‘s on the back of that person‘s T-shirt. In other words, it‘s not what people bring to the party that makes them a star - it‘s what they do with what they bring. The secrets to being a star are not in people‘s personal characteristics but in how people go about doing their work. Do you shine in the white space?

When you‘re starting out, remember that the things you do first not only build a foundation but also send important messages to your colleagues, your customers, and your boss. That‘s why the first step toward becoming a star is to show that you take initiative. Initiative is about working in the white space. In today‘s workplace, you see it more and more: work that no one can predict will need to be done and that doesn‘t fit neatly into someone‘s job description - in other words, work that gets done only when people step forward and tackle it. But it‘s not enough just to take initiative - first you have to understand it. If you ask average performers, ―How do you get ahead?‖ they‘ll tell you that initiative is important. Yet star performers and average performers have a fundamentally different understanding of what constitutes initiative. Here‘s an example: A young woman is asked by her boss to go to a meeting in another department, to take notes, and to report back to her group. She realises that just taking notes won‘t do the job, so she takes a tape recorder with her. After the meeting, she listens to the tape, writes up her notes, and reports back. To her, using the tape recorder was taking initiative. When stars hear that story, they say, ―That‘s not initiative - that‘s just doing your job!‖ The boss told her to report on the meeting. How she chose to do that was up to her - but tape recorder or no tape recorder, she was only doing her job. For stars, initiative generally has four elements: It means doing something above and beyond your job description. It means helping other people. Usually it involves some element of risk-taking. And when you‘re

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really taking initiative, it involves seeing an activity through to completion. Here are a couple of other rules about initiative: First, before you take on anything new, make sure that you‘re doing your assigned job well. Second, remember that social initiatives don‘t count for much. Organising the company picnic or a blood drive won‘t get you the kind of recognition you want. They‘re fine things to do - but do them because they bring you satisfaction. Third, the kind of initiatives that matter to your career are those that relate to the company‘s critical path. Find out what promotes the company‘s core mission, and tie your initiatives to it. Do you have a star-studded network?

Networking is the way work gets done. most people don‘t have all the knowledge they need to do their work. Jobs today are too complex, they‘re changing too quickly - or they just involve more work than one person can handle. That‘s why stars turn to others to get help. They use networks to multiply their productivity. If you want to be better at networking, start by recognising what you don‘t know but need to know. Then figure out who can supply that knowledge - and cultivate relationships with those people. Stars do this all the time. They are always on the lookout for people to add to their network. When they find themselves in a meeting that‘s a waste of time - and we all have too many meetings like that every day - they use the time to identify people in the meeting who are worth getting to know. Stars also understand the economics of networking. Average performers look at networking as if it were a right: They call someone they don‘t know and simply demand help. Stars realise that networking is a barter system. If you expect people to trade with you, you have to establish that you have something worth trading. You have to have expertise that people need but don‘t already have. You also have to be patient: Be prepared to help out

© 2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting

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a lot of people before you ask anyone for help in return. You start with a negative trade balance, and it takes time to build up credits. Do you see your career as a constellation?

Average performers see self-management as time management: ―If I get my work done on time, then I‘m a good self-manager.‖ To stars, that‘s just the beginning. You‘re expected to manage your time well. You‘re expected to manage your projects well. Real self-management means managing not only your work but also your relationships with people, your career, and your career assets over time. Here‘s an example of how average performers and stars differ in this category. The average performer finishes a project, and then goes to the boss and asks, ―What do you want me to do next?‖ The star starts looking around six months before a project is done and asks, ―What experiences do I have in my portfolio? What assignment should I tackle next that would make me more valuable for the company and more valuable in the marketplace?‖ Stars select their next project before they finish the one they‘re working on. What you hear from average performers is a complaint: ―It‘s all political. All the best projects around here are wired to stars. They get whatever they want, and we have to take what‘s left over.‖ Average performers don‘t see what‘s really happening. It‘s not that the organisation is wired. It‘s that stars know how to get ahead of the game - while average performers wait for the game to come to them. There are some core skills that you can develop to do a better job of managing yourself.

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Start by understanding the company. What is its critical path? Then align yourself with its core business, so you contribute more directly to its larger purpose. Second, understand who you are and how you work best. Too many people think they‘re going to become a star by changing who they are - but that almost never works. It‘s more important to recognise how you work and then to turn that into an advantage. There are plenty of stars who have messy desks, for instance. They know how to be productive and have a messy desk. How do they do it? You can find out by talking to them - and then figuring out how to apply their techniques. How much (star) light do you let in?

Average performers suffer from tunnel vision: they see the world from their viewpoint, and they keep pushing that viewpoint over and over again. Star performers see things in a much bigger way. They step outside of their own viewpoint and adopt different perspectives: ―How do my competitors think about this? What do the customers think? How about my colleagues? What about the boss?‖ I think of perspective as pattern recognition plus experience. Think of how doctors work: Over time, they see hundreds and hundreds of patients, they build up a base of case histories, and they learn to identify the symptoms that go together. Stars build up their own case histories, they develop the capacity for pattern recognition, and they internalise the information so that it clicks together. Perspective comes partly from experience. But it‘s something you can work on. After each project, ask yourself, What did I learn? Then seek out an assignment that will give you a different kind of experience - even if conventional wisdom says it‘s not a prize job. Take software testing. People in the software business don‘t like to do testing, because it‘s kind of boring: You‘re testing other people‘s code and finding bugs - you‘re not creating anything of your own. Most average performers think of it as drudgery that won‘t help them get ahead. But lots of software stars do their time in testing: It gives them a chance to see a lot of products, and they can apply

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everything they learn from it to building their own code in the future. It‘s a concentrated dose of pattern recognition plus experience. Are you a star follower?

When people hear the term ―star performer,‖ they think ―primadonna.‖ In fact, stars are very good at helping other people succeed. Followership means knowing that you can‘t always have the lead. You‘re going to be in a followership role a lot of the time, and you have to help those in charge do the best they can. Stars not only know how to stand out - they also know how to help out. For example, when they‘re on a team as a member, rather than as the leader, stars know how to pitch in. They check their ego at the door. If they think the leader is going off in the wrong direction, they know how to disagree without being disagreeable - and without undermining the leader‘s authority with the team. Instead of taking the leader on in public, for example, they might sit down in private and say, ―There might be some things that you‘re not aware of. Let me be your eyes and ears - just to be sure you‘re in the loop.‖ Too many average performers become preoccupied with their own needs and ambitions. To be a good follower, focus on the project‘s needs and on the leader‘s needs. Don‘t try to make records for yourself - try to make wins happen for the team. Being a good follower doesn‘t mean sitting passively and taking orders. You should figure out what to do before you‘re told. Good followers are fact-finders: They find out how to do as much as they can without bothering the boss. When you work in this fashion, you gain a reputation as someone who‘s working for the good of the enterprise, rather than as a showboat. Do you spell leadership with a small “l”?

These days, there is a lot of talk about leadership. but most of it is about what I call ―leadership with a capital L.‖ It‘s the kind of stuff

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that you see on all the magazine covers: CEOs promoting their big visions, their big ambitions, their big egos. For star performers, that‘s not what leadership is. Stars exercise ―small-l‖ leadership. Star performers very often don‘t have the power to fire anybody. They can‘t give out promotions, bonuses, or raises. What they have is the ability to bring people together to get things done. And they have it because of the way they work. Stars strip away the visionary and charismatic stuff, and get to the three components of real leadership: People want leaders who are knowledgeable. People want leaders who create momentum - who bring energy to the job and create energy in other people. And people want leaders who pay attention to everyone who‘s involved in a project - leaders who can attract followers. If you want to be a small-l leader, start by understanding the people who are following you: Why are they following you, what‘s in it for them, and how can you help them? Next, take seriously your responsibility for building momentum in the organisation: You‘ve got to have intent. Do the small things that matter - and do them in a way that shows that they matter. If you say you‘re going to take on a leadership role, make sure that meetings get called, that the agenda gets set, and that things don‘t slip through the cracks. The important thing to realise is that you can be a small-l leader. It‘s not a matter of how strong your jawline is. Stars have a very action-oriented definition of leadership. If you do the small-l stuff, people are going to want to work with you. Are you using a star’s approach to teamwork?

We‘ve created a whole culture of teamwork - largely because of the elimination of so many middle-management jobs. Teams are supposed to fill the vacuum left by middle managers. But they often don‘t succeed. The problem isn‘t with the teams, of course. It‘s with how and why they get formed and with how they actually work - or don‘t work.

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I like to compare the way stars think about teams with the way Charles Lindbergh thought about what to take on his historic flight across the Atlantic. His plane could carry only so much fuel, so he had to decide what he would take and what he would leave behind. With each item, he‘d ask, Do I absolutely need this to get across? If the answer was no, the item got left behind. Stars look at teams the same way. They say, ―I‘ve got only so much time. Do I absolutely need this team - or does this team absolutely need me - to make something important happen?‖ Of course, once stars are on a team, they become very good team players. They make sure that everyone on the team knows and buys into its goals. They make sure the work gets distributed in a way that makes sense and that‘s fair to everyone. They also make sure, once the team is put together, that it actually gets the job done. Do you know how your company really works?

Stars also have what we call ―organisational savvy.‖ In Chicago, where I grew up, people call it ―street smarts.‖ It means understanding the lay of the land in an organisation. Part of it is knowing whom to trust and whom to avoid. Part of it is knowing how to navigate all of the competing interests within the organisation - recognising which ones will come into play and which ones you can safely ignore. Stars also pay attention to conflicts. In most organisations, conflicts don‘t get enough of an airing. People who are opposed to a decision often just get run over, and often it turns out that they should have been listened to. But the flip side is also true: There‘s too much agreement in organisations. Remember The Abilene Paradox, by Jerry Harvey? In it, he told a story: Nobody wants to take the trip to Abilene, but nobody wants to be the one who speaks against it. That kind of complicity can lead to all kinds of fiascos. That‘s why organisational savvy is important. But how do you develop it? You start on your first day at an organisation: You keep

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your eyes open. You pay attention. You get your boss‘s view of what‘s going on. You talk to some of the old-timers who have been around and get their views. You talk to star performers and get their sense of how things work. Chances are, you‘ll get several different perspectives. It‘s not important which perspective is right. What‘s important is knowing that there are these different perspectives. Then, as you go about doing your work, you can take them into account. These days, a lot of people recommend that you find a mentor. That‘s very good advice. But it‘s one of those pieces of good advice that doesn‘t apply to most of the population – because mentoring doesn‘t happen very often. Most people can‘t find a mentor. Most mentoring programs that companies set up don‘t work, because mentoring isn‘t something you can command. But you can become your own mentor. Pay close attention to what goes on. Find out who the people are who make things happen. Find the stars and study them. Become a student in the workplace. When you study different approaches, you learn what works and what doesn‘t work in your environment. Are you a star at show and tell?

Stars also know how to use the right message with the right audience at the right time. They are superb communicators. But being a good communicator doesn‘t mean always ―being on.‖ In fact, one of the things that average performers do wrong is to overcommunicate: Every day, they send another memo to the boss. They chatter on, but they don‘t really have anything to contribute. People turn a deaf ear to them. Star performers know how to time their messages, and how to craft them, so that people pay attention. If you want to excel at ―show and tell,‖ understand your audience: What moves people in this particular audience? What do they listen to? What language makes sense to them? For one person, it‘s going to be dollars; for another, it‘s going to be values.

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You match that language with the way you deliver information whether you‘re making a presentation, sending a memo, or cornering someone in the hallway to test out an idea. Figure out the message that moves people, put it into the language they speak, and deliver it in a way that works for them. What do you do on Monday morning? If you‘re an average performer and you want to become a star, what do you do on Monday morning? Start by taking a hard look at yourself and at the star performers. Ask yourself, ―What are they doing that I‘m not doing? And what am I doing that gets in my way?‖ Then become a student of the stars: Do what they do. Try it for a while. You‘ll know you‘re making progress when you start hearing about it from your colleagues. They‘ll start asking you to be on their team. You‘ll start getting calls from people asking for information. You‘ll know your efforts are working, because you‘ll find that you‘re being included in the stuff that counts. The good news is, all of these skills can be learned. Becoming a star at work is like improving your golf or tennis game. You identify your bad habits and the improvements you need to put in place and then you practice those improvements every day. Alan M. Webber is a founding editor of Fast Company. You can reach Robert Kelley by email [email protected] , and you can learn more about his ideas at www.kelleyideas.com. © All rights reserved. Fast Company, LLC

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Women and Men Understanding and respecting gender differences in the workplace

Executive summary Most everyone would agree with the assertion that boys and girls are socialised differently in America, as they are in most postindustrial or ―third wave‖ societies. Girls and boys, during their formative years, are sent endless socialisation messages about how they ought to behave in order to have successful outcomes. The messages differ as functions of the gender of the particular child. One simple example with which most of us have some familiarity is crying in response to frustration by girls and ―acting out‖ behavior in response to frustration by boys. This chapter is a discussion of the manifold ways in which the early socialisation of boys and girls is played out in the workplace, at a later stage of development, between men and women. Managers, both men and women, must stay constantly attuned to these gender differences if they are to effectively manage across the gender divide. Anne Litwin and Sophie Hahn suggest that without this sensitivity, women‘s success will be impeded, and both men and women will experience unnecessary frustrations. However, given male dominance in many organisations, the woman manager who is not fully aware of how differences based on gender get played out is more likely to suffer than a male manager who is similarly unattuned. While the woman manager may be seen as unprepared, male managers who lack skill in managing this form of diversity may find upper management in supportive collusion with them. This chapter is important because it reveals many of the often reflexive ways that gender differences, and the behaviors

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associated with them, are enacted in the world of work. Many the issues discussed in this chapter are below the surface and spontaneous, and reflect who we are by virtue of the ways in which our early socialisation took place. On this basis, frequent reference to Hahn and Litwin‘s piece is worthwhile counsel. Otherwise, the behaviors will be ascribed to what is considered ―normal,‖ and calling attention to them may be seen as ―nitpicking‖—a most unfair and unfortunate outcome not only for impacted women, but for men as well. Men who fail to ―get it‖ will continue to manage in uninformed ways, leading to continuous turnover of highly talented women in their managerial purview, an unfortunate outcome at the organisational level.

Gender differences Be it nature or nurture, by the time most women and men make it to the workplace, their life experiences and expectations have been different in certain gender-based ways. Of course, as human beings, women and men share many of the same experiences and expectations. And as individuals, they are each entirely unique. In each person, all of these experiences and expectations function simultaneously: the group-based differences, the universal human similarities, and the individual attributes and quirks. This makes for a fascinating—and sometimes confusing—human landscape. Whenever women and men interact, gender-based group differences can come into play, at times creating avoidable misunderstandings. These are the innocent communication-, style-, expectation-, and experience-based misunderstandings that arise among women and men interacting in normal, friendly, cordial, and helpful ways, with no ill will intended. Managers need to be especially aware of the potential for such misunderstandings in the work environment, both in their own actions and reactions as well as those of their colleagues and staff toward each other. Without diminishing the importance of the sameness, the uniqueness, or the other group identities of human beings, this chapter focuses on how gender based differences manifest themselves in the workplace. Throughout the chapter, certain

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behaviors are labeled ―feminine‖ or ―masculine‖ or are attributed to women or men. These labels and attributions are a shorthand way of describing characteristics more likely to be found among members of one gender or the other, and should not be read as a negation of individual differences.

Women and men in the workplace Women and men, as groups, tend to have different communication and work styles. This has been observed and documented by sociologists, psychologists, and other social observers, despite continued debate about why such differences exist (nature or nurture) and why typically masculine behavior tends to be assigned a higher value in the workplace. Deborah Tannen‘s 1990 best-seller, You Just Don‘t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, explores the different conversational styles of women and men at length. Based on her research, Tannen concludes that boys‘ and girls‘ early social lives are so different that they grow up ―in what are essentially different cultures." Thus, talk between women and men is in fact crosscultural communication, fraught with as many potential misunderstandings as communication between individuals from different countries, ethnic backgrounds, languages, or religious groups. As a matter of basic world view, Tannen establishes that men see themselves as engaged in a hierarchical social order in which they are either "one up or one down" in relation to others. Their communication styles and reactions to others' communications often stress the need to "preserve independence and avoid failure." Women, on the other hand, tend to see the world as a "network of connections," and their communications and interpretations of others' communications seek to "preserve intimacy and avoid isolation." Tannen‘s conclusions echo an earlier well-known book on this subject, In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan. Gilligan cites research by a number of psychologists and other experts that has found marked differences in the basic operational modes of women

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and men, starting from the time they are very young children. For example, in observing girls and boys at play, Piaget and Lever (in separate studies) found that as boys grow they become ―increasingly fascinated with the legal elaboration of rules and the development of fair procedures for adjudicating conflicts,‖ while girls ―have a more ‗pragmatic‘ attitude toward rules.‖ Girls are ―more willing to make exceptions and are easily reconciled to innovations.‖ Boys‘ play is observed as more competitive, while girls‘ play ―is more cooperative.‖ Given these basic differences in world view and behavior, it is not surprising to find that the workplace expectations, work styles, and characteristics of women and men, as groups, also tend to differ. Table 19-1 depicts the two extremes of a spectrum of workplace styles and expectations shared by women and men, but considered more typically feminine or masculine. Many women probably will see themselves, or be seen by colleagues, as possessing certain attributes described as ―masculine,‖ and some men probably will see themselves, or be seen by colleagues, as possessing certain attributes described in the table as ―feminine.‖ All of the views and styles described as constituting the more typically feminine or masculine ends of the spectrum are equally valid and useful in a productive workplace. Increased worldwide competition and changing workforce demographics highlight this fact. Many organisations have begun to recognise the need to move away from primarily masculine structures and norms toward a more flexible definition of appropriate workplace behavior. An emphasis on teamwork and positive employee development requires that both typically feminine and typically masculine styles and expectations be valued and reinforced. This creates new opportunities for women and men to utilise and value the different strengths each brings to the workplace. TABLE 19-I Gender Based Perceptions in the Workplace

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Feminine

Masculine

Organisational structure

participative (see colleagues as complementary)

hierarchical (see colleagues as potential competition)

Focus of interpersonal attention

process (care about how people treat each other in carrying out work)

outcome (care about "where they stand" in relation to others)

Operating style

interactional (interact to connect, arrive at understandings)

transactional (interact to pass information and give directions)

Problem-solving style

intuitive (trust instincts; will provide proof/explanation as necessary)

linear (based on methodical thinking; will not trust intuition until proof is presented)

Individual work style

collaborative (see work as part of a whole; discuss and review with colleagues)

independent (see work as a separate piece; complete work without the "help" of others)

Management style

supportive (seek to aid, support, facilitate, and provide comfort, meaning, and rewards)

directive (seek to test, direct, organize, and provide challenges, goals, and incentives)

View of work-related conflict

disruptive (seek to create harmony; view negative comments as unproductive)

normal (accept a level of conflict as inevitable; view negative comments as normal part of work)

A common workplace based scenario – the mixed gender meeting Despite an increased valuing of the attributes of both genders, misunderstandings among women and men in the workplace continue. Each gender tends to expect that the other operates with the same set of views and behavioral expectations. The following scenario illustrates an innocent gender-based misunderstanding in which a sensitivity to the different feminine and masculine styles and expectations would have facilitated more fruitful outcomes. Case 1. A male manager is holding a meeting with his staff, which includes both women and men, to find a solution to a departmental problem. A woman speaks first, very soon after he has presented the problem; she offers a solution. The manager is annoyed. Because she did not begin her statement with a progressive analysis of all factors and because she spoke so soon, he assumes she has not thought out her position and therefore dismisses her solution without bothering to explore its possibilities.

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One of her male colleagues speaks second. He starts with a lengthy analysis and ultimately summarises with a virtually identical solution. This time, the manager hears the solution and accepts it. The male manager has reacted favorably not to the actual solution but to his male staff member's linear approach to solving the problem. Case 2. In the converse situation, a female manager is holding an identical meeting. A man speaks first, and begins with what seems to her to be a lengthy, overly detailed, and somewhat pompous justification for the point he is about to make but never seems to get to. She asks that he cede the floor so that others can participate, effectively cutting him off before he has finished. A woman speaks second. She simply states the first solution that came to her mind, based on the manager's description of the problem. The manager happily accepts the solution—it sounds right—and continues the meeting by asking if anyone sees any reason why this is not the best solution. This female manager has also favored a certain approach to problem solving—the intuitive approach. In case 1, with a male manager, the woman staff member will leave the meeting frustrated, and the manager will not recognise her contribution. This is a gender-based misunderstanding. His negative view of her may be exacerbated because the workplace tends to favor masculine work styles and characteristics. To the extent that women as a group do not conform to the male model, they may be considered less-valuable employees. From the female staff member's perspective, the experience may add to a feeling women in the office aren't listened to or aren't respected. After all, she did provide the correct solution! If she complains, this will probably also hurt her. People will tend to perceive her as weak or oversensitive. In the second case, with the female manager, there has also been a gender based misunderstanding, and it is the male staff member who will leave the meeting with a sense of frustration. In this instance, however, the negative interaction can be directly harmful

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to the female manager as well as to the male employee. The male staff member will certainly suffer from being misunderstood by his manager. He will feel that he has been treated unfairly and may receive a poor evaluation. He may also complain to others around the office. Even though he is the subordinate, his "bad-mouthing" can feed preexisting biases in the male-defined workplace. The manager may be seen as the one with the problem and her management style considered impatient or lacking in judgment. In this example, the misunderstanding can harm both the male staff member and his female manager. These misunderstandings, if viewed alone, may seem petty or harmless. But in most instances, they form part of a continuum of misunderstandings, acted out on a playing field that itself is not level—a playing field usually disfavoring feminine characteristics, and thus women. Bit by bit, these can lead to destructive and timeconsuming animosities, a factionalised workplace, demoralised employees, and, eventually, to the loss of promising members of the staff. These types of misunderstandings are often the source of the disproportionate loss of female employees who, given their backgrounds, skills, and experience, should have thrived in their jobs. What can managers do? Ultimately, managers are responsible for making sure that workplace tasks are accomplished in an optimal fashion. They must create a productive work environment that brings out the best in each member of their staff, whatever her or his universal, group, or individual characteristics may be. The foundation of productive work environments is mutual respect and understanding. Managers influence their work environments in three ways:



How they act, which sets a powerful example



How they treat members of their staff



How they manage relations among staff members

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Whatever managers do to derive the benefits of or to minimise the problems arising from gender-based differences in the workplace, they must address all three levels of influence. The following six-step program is a manager's guide for learning more about and effectively handling gender-based misunderstandings in the workplace. 1. Educate. The first step for managers is to continually educate themselves about gender issues in the workplace through reading and participation in classes or workshops. Most people have a tendency to assume that all people are just like themselves. In today's world and today's workplace, this is rarely true. Learning more about gender issues can trigger a series of surprising observations, leading a manager to new understandings. The sources of certain frustrating workplace misunderstandings become obvious and more easily managed and changed. 2. Assess. The next step for a manager, armed with new information, is to assess the ways in which the structure, norms, expectations, standards, evaluation methods, and other attributes of the workplace may carry a bias. These elements must be taken into account in all efforts, to achieve meaningful gender fairness. For example, upon examination, a manager may note the existence of an unwritten norm discouraging crying. Since crying is a normal way in which many women express strong feelings or react to stress, the norm against crying would tend to disfavor women. If women who cry at work are considered less-valuable employees, while men experience no negative repercussions when they express strong feelings or react to stress in other ways, the manager will have identified an important workplace bias. Although managers may be able to identify some of the potentially gender biased elements in their workplaces, it is often advisable to engage an outside expert to guide or

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conduct the assessment for the manager. As members of the workplace culture, managers may have difficulty identifying biases that are fully ingrained in the environment—and thus most likely in the managers themselves. 3. Ask questions. Having observed the environment, a manager should next ask questions of each staff member on an individual basis. To gain relevant information, the manager should ask each employee to describe:



The strengths they bring to the workplace



The characteristics they value in a supervisor



The aspects of the work they consider important







Focusing on the issue of gender-based differences, a manager should ask: What special, added value the employee feels her or his gender brings to the workplace? How the employee can benefit from the different genderbased attributes of co-workers?

Once these positive aspects have been explored and identified, it is useful to ask employees about:





Frustrations they may have encountered in working with members of the opposite gender Behaviors that would show respect for the style differences between them

All of the information obtained through private interviews should be kept confidential between the manager and the particular employee. 4. Discuss. As a next step, mixed-gender groups should be brought together for a guided discussion and review of the same questions that were asked in the individual sessions.

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A good way to conclude a group discussion of gender issues is to have participants articulate explicit agreements about ways they can show respect for and benefit from both gender-based styles. This process of sharing information about gender issues can be continually refreshed and reinforced by taking the time, upon completion of major projects and at the end of important meetings, to discuss how well members of each gender feel they have worked together and to solicit suggestions for improving group interaction in the future. 5. Listen. For the manager, listening is especially important for three reasons. 





First, the individual's comments made during group discussions provide crucial management information, which employees will not provide if they do not trust that they will be listened to and taken seriously. Second, managers must try very honestly to hear the ways in which their own actions and treatment of staff members, and the staff's interaction with each other, perpetuate destructive—and thus unproductive—gender biases. The third, and ultimately most edifying, reason to listen carefully is to discover the unique gifts each individual brings to the workplace. If the male manager from the first scenario had been listening differently, he might have heard his female staff member's correct solution. He would have been impressed by her ability to grasp complex problems quickly and see straight to the right solution. Conversely, if the female manager had listened differently to what her male staff member was saying, she would have appreciated his ability to present a wellreasoned exposition of the foundations for his conclusions.

6. Initiate change. Having learned, assessed, asked questions, discussed, and listened, managers will probably

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need to make changes at all three levels of influence—how they act, how they treat members of their staffs, and how they manage relations among staff members. Depending on the situation, each manager's strategy may be different. Some managers may find that by changing their own behaviors, the entire department or unit will change, having learned by experience and example. Others may wish to bring the issues up explicitly with staff by holding meetings, announcing new policies, or even inviting special consultants from the outside to work with them and their staffs. Many useful books, tapes, videos, seminars, classes, and training programs can help managers create a strategy for managing change in gender-based patterns, expectations, and attitudes. These resources may be obtained through bookstores, libraries, professional associations, women's organisations, city or state human rights commissions, unions, and the company's human resources department. Conclusion Whatever the strategy and actions taken, there is no doubt that managers will confront gender-based issues in the workplace; most already do, without knowing it. They spend precious time managing situations arising from or exacerbated by gender-based misunderstandings—including their own! Both women and men with useful potential leave the organisation—or end up being asked to leave. Organisations lose women disproportionately because definitions of what is right and good in the workplace are almost always based on a masculine model. Women eventually feet unappreciated and undervalued, and then they don't stick around.

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Being aware of and confronting gender issues frees managers to take control and turn things around, to the benefit of their staffs, their organisations, and ultimately society. By Sophie Hahn and Anne Litwin. Published in Managing in the Age of Change: Essential Skills to Manage Today's Workforce, Roger A. Ritvo, Anne Litwin, and Lee Butler, editors, Burr Ridge, Illinois: IRWIN Professional Publishing, 1995.

References 1.

Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990.

2.

Gilligan, Carol. In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1982.

3.

Loden, Marilyn. Feminine Leadership, or How to Succeed in Business Without Being One of the Boys. New York: Times Books, 1985.

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From "The Little Book of Balance" by Kerry Fallon Horgan Tip One Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Tip Two Achieving balance is a continuous process of developing the conditions in which the human spirit thrives. Tip Three Happiness depends upon our attitude. This is something we can choose, something which is within our power to influence. Tip Four When change outside of your control is negatively impacting your life, focus and act on the things you can influence. This can keep you empowered and reduces the stress that such change can engender. Tip Five Do you ever feel unbelievably stressed and out of control, when something unforeseen happens and you drop all the balls you were trying to juggle? At these times, even the most flexible people can become more controlling. They try to control the people around them becoming evermore critical and demanding. The key is to take charge of ourselves not of those around us. To break the behaviour patterns that bind us.

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Start by spending at least 5 minutes a day breathing deeply in the fresh air, taking in nature, bringing your values to the fore. Give your body and mind a break from stress by stopping the negative self talk and cultivating inner peace Tip Six The daily practice of focusing on our breathing begins the healthful calm - deeply breath in calm, breath out and relax. Tip Seven Focus on the moment as often as possible. Mindfulness of the present, savouring the moment is truly living life. 

Really taste the food you eat.



Hold a hug just a little longer.



Marvel in the colour of the sky.



Listen intently to the words 'I love you'.



Enjoy the little things that people do for you.



Stop to say thank you.

A great saying... "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, from Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach (Warner Books).

Tip Eight Loving others begins with the practice of love of self - giving ourselves time to care for our physical and emotional health, reflecting on our values. "Time" by Marla Visser... If I had a summer to give you, my mutilated psyche, maybe you could heal into oneness. But always there are the things That pull me apart,

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chewing up my ego, possessing my time and leaving me with one small question. When do I get to be me? Tip Nine Achieving balance means focusing on what you value in life. So much precious time and energy can be wasted dwelling on the negative. Go through each day consciously. Stop the thoughts and actions that prevent you getting to where you want to go. Give your goals the positive affirmations they need to succeed. Tip Ten You can only achieve your goals by taking action! Start by writing a plan for what you want to achieve and how you are going to do it! Think about the various areas of your life relationships, work, health and so on. What are your goals in each of these areas and what are you going to do each day, week or month to ensure you will achieve them? Put the actions in your diary or where you will see your plan daily. Regularly visualise yourself achieving your goals. Begin with readily achievable goals. Celebrate each success and build on each success to achieve your long term plans. "it is only with infinitesimal change, changes so small that no one else even realises you're making them, that you have any hope for transformation." Tolstoy Tip Eleven Achieving balance is a courageous process. As we begin to move into balance, the tension we feel or barriers we face may make us want to give up. Even the smallest change can create fear in ourselves or in others, wanting us to flee back to the safety of the familiar. But moving forward, finding the courage to continue the process, leads to the higher balance - toward achieving our human potential. Great sayings…

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"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself" - Erich Fromm

"It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards without turning around" - Thoreau

"The energy of our differences can produce a precious gift we could never have experienced alone" - Thomas Crum

"When we shed the burden of judgment, we quiet the turbulence of our internal dialogue" - Deepak Chopra

Tip Twelve Life balance is the pursuit of our potential - physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Tip Thirteen Time is our most precious commodity, not the material things we constantly strive to gain. Giving time to ourselves is vital for physical and emotional health. Giving time to others, doing what they enjoy, is vital to the health of our relationships. Tip Fourteen As the song goes "You've got to have friends". Cherish and treasure your friendships. The more you nurture your friendships the deeper and more supportive they become.

Copyright © 2002 Flexibility At Work

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Discover the 90/10 Principle It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

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You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticise them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your clothes. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 80 km an hour in a 60 km speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $140 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day? a) Did the coffee cause it? b) Did your daughter cause it? c) Did the policeman cause it? d) Did you cause it?

The answer is ―D". You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

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Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a fresh outfit and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the team. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React better and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

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WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the other drivers ruin your trip? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!! Enjoy….

Author: Stephen Covey

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Action Page Things that I can do differently from now… Stop doing

Start doing

Do more of…

Do less of ….

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Want to get even more success in your life and need support to make it happen? Springboard Women‘s Development Program is a 3 month learning experience for women incorporating both personal and professional development. It has been known to transform lives and careers. What you get 4 facilitated 1-day workshops spread over 3 months 300+ page A4 sized workbook crammed with tools, examples, data 2-3 hours per week of self study by participants Guest speakers Support systems and networks

What can you expect? Align your values so you make the best decisions Define your priorities to get more balance and calm Put yourself across more positively Deal with changes more effectively Learn the power and practice of networking Put useful stress management strategies in place Resolve conflicts and solve problems more easily Feel more confident and powerful in all areas of your life Role model and integrate excellence for outstanding results Get a handle on limiting beliefs such as ―I‘m not good enough‖, ―I just don‘t have it‖ ―I‘m dumb‖ or ―I can‘t have a great relationship‖ Take charge of your future by setting and achieving goals

Check more details now at www.springboard.org.au

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Contact details To book Melanie Wass for a keynote presentation, half or full day workshop nationally or internationally, please contact: Melanie Wass Director Natural Consulting Postal Address PO Box 336 Frenchs Forest NSW 2086 Mobile

+61 4 1998 8303

Email

[email protected]

www.springboard.org.au is a website of Natural Consulting to promote the award-winning Springboard Women‘s Development Program throughout Australia. www.naturalconsulting.com.au is the website of Natural Consulting, a results-based training and development practice developing people to energise organisations

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Thank you Melanie Wass

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